As soon as I found out I was going to have a foal, I knew it was a punishment from StarClan. Healers aren't supposed to have kits, at least, they weren't then. Now it's a different story. I wasn't supposed to fall in love. My relationship with Major was wrong in every way, and I knew it.
But I never expected both Clans, and the Northern Kingdoms, to be punished for my mistakes. I kept my secret well. No one in ThunderClan knew that their healer was carrying a foal. Although of course I told Major. He was so pleased... That should have frightened me more, the arrogance of thinking we could do whatever we wanted, without consequences...It was a hard birth, a horrid birth. That was an omen too. I left the camp that morning, knowing the foal was coming. I told Fallenstar that I was going to the Moonpool and would be back in a day or two. I left the territory and found a small hollow, surrounded by thick gorse. There was a smell of mushrooms and something rotting, but I didn't have the strength to go any farther. I hoped the stench would hide my scent while I gave birth. I didn't want anyone to find me, not even Major. I just wanted it to be over. I felt like I was lying there for days. Everything ached, my whole body. I should have been able to take care of myself, being a healer and all, but I was too weak to do anything, even eat the herbs I'd brought with me. Finally, there were two brown bundles lying next to me. Twins. Great. A colt with a very white star on his head and a smaller filly with a long blaze. I started licking them, coaxing them to stand up. One whinnied angrily the minute I touched him; the other nickered softly and fell down again. I could tell the colt was a fighter from the start. His lungs were so powerful, it was a wonder the whole Clan didn't come charging out to us. He kicked his sister every time he tried to stand up, while she just lay there shivering.
I tried as long as I could, licking her and nuzzling her. But her breathing just got shallower and shallower, until it stopped altogether. I buried my muzzle in her fur, grief crashing down on me. This was a clear sign from StarClan. These kits should never have been born.
I turned my attention to the colt and saw the expression on his small, brown face. He was new to the world, could hardly stand up. And yet his face was twisted in a strong emotion...rage? Hatred? I'd never seen a look so terrifying on any creature, let alone a tiny colt! Fear flooded through me. Maybe he wasn't meant to live either. A creature born with so much...anger in him could mean only danger to the Clan, maybe to the whole forest. But then he staggered over to me and pressed his face into my belly. He was so little, so...helpless. Maybe I misunderstood what I'd seen on his face. He was just a little foal, after all–my foal, and the son of Major, the horse I loved. I knew I couldn't keep him to myself, but I could watch him from across the camp as he grew up. I could make sure he'd turn into a fine warrior. I nuzzled his cheek, and he let out a small nicker. My heart seemed to expand to fill my whole chest.
I buried his sister the best I could, which wasn't very good, given I'm a horse. But no one would find her–we were well off Clan territory. I headed back to camp, my son close behind me. I stopped to clean off in the lake. By the time I entered camp, no one would know what I'd been through.
When I entered camp, Major was the first to see and was at my side instantly. He acted casual about the new foal who'd just waltzed into camp, but I could tell he was brimming with excitement. I looked past him and saw Silver look my way and prick her ears. She was still grieving for her lost kit, Destiny, who'd wandered from camp and drowned in the lake. Fallenstar saw me and soon, everybody was gathered around the handsome little colt.
I explained that a rogue mare had two foals and he was one of a set of twins; a colt and a filly. The mother mare had disregarded the colt as she only wanted a female foal. So I made up the lie about my son and then realized someone have to take care of him. Then I had a brilliant idea. I saw that Fallenstar was very happy about the new foal so I didn't bother asking him if the colt could stay. "Silver, will you raise this colt?" I asked looked surprised. "Well...well okay. Yes, I'll raise him. I call him–""Ryker." I said. "His name is Ryker." Pinestar seemed pleased, and so did everyone else, except for the young deputy, Kanaka Luna. It was as if he saw something we didn't as he scrutinized my son with a wary look painted on his face.
Maybe Ryker was meant to survive after all. Maybe he was a blessing. That night, as I looked up into the clear night, I saw a beautiful, bright star, twinkling. I watched it for a moment and suddenly it fell from the sky, disappearing forever. I didn't give much thought about it until much, much later, when a certain healer named Solomon told me of an omen...
The brightest star brings great danger. Only the when the Three are united will the Clans, along with the fallen kingdom have a hope of survival...