Yet another squeamish, semi-depressing story that has managed to escape the enclosures inside of my noggin. Oh well. A very dark story about poor little Canada and how he gets picked on. One of my more personal fanfictions as I can relate to certain aspects of this.

Warnings (Ch. 1): Masturbation, rape, alcohol use and physical abuse.

Name: Matthew Williams.

Class: 3B.

Dear diary,

My name is Matthew Williams. I am 8. I like pancakes and my polar bear, Kumajiro. I don't like heights. I love my family, they make me happy. I love my life.

"Go to the park, give your father and I some alone time for once." You say nothing as you look over at your brother, the boys' eyes widening as he looks up from his XBox 360 controller.

"But, Daaaaad..."

"No buts. Go put on your shoes and go down to the park for a bit. I'll call you when dinner is ready." The Brit mutters, turning his back and walking away as he mutters something under his breath about insolent young brats.

"God damnit." the American mumbles as he grabs his shoes, your eyes silently following him. You quietly grab your black leather boots as you lace them up, pulling on a coat as you step outside, your body taking no time at all to adjust to the temperature. You jump a little as you hear the door slam behind you, said noise snapping you from your daydreaming.

"So... Ready to go, bro?" The American grins as he visibly pales at the weather, the tip of his nose and ears turning a pale pink. you nod, a bright Hollywood smile being flashed at you once more as the pair of you begin towards the park. It doesn't take long to get there and you both immediately begin to go through the motions. You kick off your shoes, setting them on a park bench before taking the four-step trek to the swing set. You run to get the swing with the hard bottom, laughing slightly when your brother begins to complain about getting the 'baby swing.'

"... You always get the big swing, I want it!" His complaining slowly ceases as you leave the swing after occupying it for around 10 minutes, heading for the see-saw. Alfred tails after you, the two of you sitting down on opposite ends as you begin idle conversation; something to pass the time. You sit there for what feels like hours, talking about the few things you can have civil conversations about - porn, sport and video games. After a while, Alfreds' face breaks out in a sly smirk.

"Maaaan, I feel like fapping..." He leans back on the see-saw, his hair falling away from his face as he stares at the clouds.

"Do it?" You mutter, shrugging your shoulders, your voice laced with sarcasm.

"... Really?" The boy asks, his sapphire eyes widening a little as he looks at you. You shrug, smiling a little.

"Whatever takes your fancy." You smile a little, voice just about dripping sarcasm. Your violet eyes widen a little as your brother reaches for his fly, undoing it as he carefully pulls out his somehow already hard member.

'What the fuck... ?' You keep see-sawing, trying to keep your gaze averted as your brother begins to masturbate in front of you, his hand running up and down his cock. After about 5 minutes, you can't help yourself. You allow your eyes to linger over his cock a little, your teeth clamping down onto your tongue as you watch him stoke himself.

'It's so big...' You think to yourself, cringing at the thought that your brother has a bigger dick than you. Then again, he is a year older, and it's not that much bigger, anyways. You quickly avert your eyes, trying not to blush as you continue to ride the see-saw. Your brother starts talking about video games so you look at him out of respect, only to see him blushing brightly, eyes glimmering with lust. You quickly look away, shooting glances at him when you're certain he isn't looking. You break out of your daydreaming when you feel a hand cover your mouth, your eyes widening as you notice that your brother isn't there anymore.

"Matthew..." You hear him mutter from behind you, his breath tickling your ear. You shudder as you attempt to stand up, only to be pushed back down and blindfolded. You begin to panic.

"A-Alfred, w-what are you doing?" You look in the general direction of the man, trying your hardest to see through your blindfold. Your eyes open with surprise as you feel something warm and hard pressed against your lips, its texture unfamiliar to you.

"Suck it." You begin to struggle, attempting to push him away as you feel him grab your hands, your panic level rapidly increasing.

"I-I d-don-" Your sentence is cut off as your brother thrusts his dick into your mouth, a muffled squeal escaping you. You quickly tilt your head upwards in his direction, crying out in pain as you feel a foot collide with your shin.

"I said suck." You whimper in pain as you suck the appendage gently, moving your head up and down a little, your eyes watering in shame. You keep your eyes closed as you feel your brother harshly grab your head, moving it back and forth rapidly.

"Did I say slowly? No. Now hurry up." He mutters, grinding his heel against the already-forming bruise on your shin, causing you to whimper, your teeth clamping down on Alfreds' cock, the man making a low-pitched, pained noise. You whimper as you feel him pull your head up by your hair, your eyes clenched shut as tears begin to slowly drip from them, staining the black blindfold.

"You insolent brat." He spits as he rips off the blindfold, his eyes ablaze with hate and anger. "You're going to have to pay for that. Turn around." You whimper as you're picked up off the see-saw and put onto the tanbark, the man roughly throwing you on your knees, your pants down and head against the ground. You shudder as you hear him spit into his hand, tears trickling down your face at a constant rate.

"A-Alfred, I-I'm-" You are cut off by an animalistic scream as your brother thrusts into you, the American swearing at the resistance, thrusting harder and harder 'till his member is buried inside of you. Tears stream down your face at the pain, Alfreds' pants and moans making you want to vomit.

"S-S-Stop it, p-please!" You scream at the top of your lungs, voice cracking between broken sobs. You only wail louder as the man says nothing, a hand muffling your screams as you feel yourself tear wider, blood running down the back of your thighs.

"Mmng, you're so tight..." the American mutters in your ear, biting down on it harshly, blood seeping slowly from the small wounds. You let out another loud, muffled cry as you feel your brother slam into something that makes you see spots, your member hardening to its full length, much to the enjoyment of the other.

"You complain so much... Yet you mean it so little..." You stare at the tanbark as you look at the wet patch your tears have created, shame, embarrassment and hate dripping out of your eyes and falling off your chin. Your violet orbs shoot open as you feel a hand wrap itself around your cock, stroking you in time with his thrusts, a whimper escaping your lips as you blush.

"P-Please, s-stop it..." You look up at him through your stretched legs, the volume of your tears increasing as you see the first droplet of blood splatter onto the tanbark below.

"N-Now, why w-would I do th-that?" The man groans audibly into your ear, sharp teeth deepening the small cuts already there. You whimper as he licks the cuts, a familiar warmth pooling in your stomach, your eyes clenched shut in pain as you feel Alfred release inside you, the saltiness of the liquid mixing with blood, stinging your ripped, raped entrance as it dribbles from your ass. Alfred wastes no time in pulling out quickly, slapping you harshly across the back of your head before putting his pants back on as he grabs his shoes, walking back home without you. When you're sure he's out of earshot, you let your knees and arms give out from beneath you, your bleeding, battered body falling into a heap on the tanbark below. You allow yourself to be overcome with sobs as you lay there, the only thing visible behind your closed eyes is the face of your brother as he raped you.

After laying, motionless, in the same spot for about half an hour, you slowly use the see-saw to help yourself onto your feet, moaning loudly in pain as you feel the tears along your entrance being ripped open again. You quickly pull up your pants, staggering over to the park bench where your shoes are, tears slowly dripping from the corners of your eyes as you slip your shoes on. You begin the short stumble across the road, staggering the last few steps to get in the back door of your house, wiping the tear tracks from your face and drying your eyes as you open the back door, stumbling into the laundry before grabbing onto the washing machine for support. You swear as the top comes off in your hand, your eyes clenching shut as you fall backwards, your head colliding with the wire door as the world spins.

"Is zat you, Mattheeeeew~?"

'Oh, shit.' "O-Oui, papa." You mutter, biting your tongue so hard it bleeds at you stand up, the joint pain from both your ass and your head causing you to groan loudly. You gently lever yourself up onto the top of the washing machine, the lid being placed back over the top of it, your eyes widening in pain as you sit.

"Matheeew, my leetle boy~" You flinch as you see your papa come around the corner, your eyes lowering a little as you spy the near-empty wine bottle in his hand. You squeak in alarm as he grabs you by your throat, slamming you against the wall, a choked, pained noise escaping you.

"Where has you been?" He mutters, slapping you harshly, a sharp breath being drawn in through your nose.

"I-I was a-at the park." You stutter, the mans' hand growing tighter around your neck.

"Alfreed says you were weeth anozer man, non?" Your eyes widen as you see his face come closer to yours, shuddering slightly as you smell the bitter wine on his breath. You quickly shake your head, receiving a harsh punch in the hip, a wrangled cry ripping itself from your throat.

"Don't you lie to me." He grunts, his hand reaching into the back of your pants, a scream escaping your lips as he shoves two fingers roughly inside you. You clench your eyes shut as you feel the tears re-open for the third time, the man smirking as he draws out bloody and cum-soaked fingers, licking them off before punching you in the face, right over your eye.

"I told you not to lie to me, non?" He growls as he hits you over the head with his half-empty wine bottle, glass shattering as it embeds itself into your scalp, remaining alcohol and glass shards raining down around you. You're out cold now, but your papa doesn't care.

"Stupid fucking Canadian." He growls out an animalistic sound, his sapphire eyes ablaze as he continues to throw more uncoordinated punches - two black eyes, bruised ribs, thighs and shins. He throws a last punch into your manhood for good measure, throwing your limp, lifeless body against a wall, grinning at it as it slides down, the usually white surface smeared with red. He spits on your unconscious body before stumbling out of the room, an insane grin on his twisted features.

Name: Matthew Williams.

Class: 10E.

Dear diary,

My name is Matthew Williams. I am a year 10 at Hetalia World Academy and am 15 years old. I have no friends, and nobody remembers me. My father hits me and my brother sexually assaults me. I hate my life and I want to die.

A/N: I don't know how this fanfiction will go down with the readers, but oh well. Please rate and review, don't hesitate to point out any mistakes and/or plot holes, etc. See you all next chapter!

-Nimu.