Okay, so I'm jumping on the bandwagon with the 'Forget me, not' theme of stories. However, hopefully it'll be a bit different. Also draws in some ideas from Karma to Burn, the Metallica song and music video 'Enter Sandman' and some ideas of my own.
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, the characters or storylines etc. I also don't own Enter Sandman.
As always, italics is a flashback
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"Words have consequences. If you say you quit, you have to mean it."
"You quit." Nick pointed out tersely.
"No, I didn't quit." Sara contradicted. "I left a note at reception for Grissom and I went away to get my head together."
It had felt almost ironic for the brunette to utter those words, since lately she had been feeling anything but 'together'.
"And you're still here." Nick pointed out flippantly. "So don't preach to me about integrity."
"I am not preaching…"
"You kind of are, don't you think…"
"I went away for a while and I got my head together, but…"
"It's the same thing." Nick insisted, pushing himself away from the table.
"No, it isn't Nick." She shook her head, twisting in her seat to follow his movements. "You have no idea what I was going through before I left!"
"Oh I don't need to listen to this." The Texan snapped, stropping towards the door; but Greg quickly slid in front of him, blocking his path.
"Alright, alright, alright!" The youngest CSI interrupted, holding his hands up. "Come on, this isn't how family talks to each other." He paused, cocking his head to the side. "Alright, it is. But you can't just walk out on us. We're a team."
Nick threw a cold look back to Sara before levelling his gaze with Greg again.
"Not anymore we're not." He countered in an empty voice, shoving the small man aside and brushing past him.
"Nick!" Sara hollered after him, but he just kept walking. He never even looked back as he threw the front doors open and stalked into the morning sunlight.
Poor Greg, the baby brother of the group, had tried his damndest to keep them together but Nick wasn't hearing it; and all of her own earnest protestations had fallen on deaf ears.
Sara hated to admit it, but his last words had stung. She tried to convince herself that they were not aimed at her directly, although she couldn't help agreeing with the sentiment to an extent. With Warrick, Grissom, Ray and now Catherine gone, they weren't the same team anymore.
It wasn't that she didn't enjoy working with the others, but that familiar, comfortable dynamic was long gone.
It wasn't the first time she had lost a family, and she could feel everything slipping away from her all over again. Her friends, her marriage, her life...
She shook her head, attempting to push the painful thoughts aside, but they wouldn't budge.
The thing that bothered her most about Nick's comments was the shot about her own reasons for leaving.
She had taken a lot of insults over the years, but never had her integrity been challenged. That was one thing she prided herself on.
Tipping her head towards the ceiling, she attempted to blink away the tears blurring her vision. She wasn't going to let herself cry.
It had been her mantra as a child: they might call you names, and try to hurt you; they might even succeed, but you never let the monsters see you cry.
Swallowing hard around the lump in her throat, she looked back down at the little bottle of pills nestled protectively in her trembling hands.
It would be so easy. One difficult moment and then all of the pain and bad memories would go away.
These thoughts had become more prevalent recently, creeping into her subconscious when she wasn't expecting it and sneaking up on her in the dark moments. Every time, she thought about how easy it would be to just give up. Stop the clock, so to speak.
Then she thought about her team. About Grissom. And she locked those dark thoughts up in a box.
Tonight, Nick had opened Pandora's Box. Only this time she couldn't find the key to lock it back up again.
On the other hand, if Nick was leaving then what reason did she have to? No team. No Grissom.
No point.