Passions Past

By Dana Keylits

Please note: This is a Caskett story, but it contains some Slashy elements that relate to Kate's past. If you are at all judgmental about same-sex affection, please do not bother reading. I don't want my inbox filling up with homophobic rants. Thank you!

It had been a particularly difficult day for everyone at the 12th. The case they were working on was complicated and messy, and although they'd solved it, everyone felt drained and in need of profound restoration. Castle, hoping to provide a smidgen of respite for them, suggested they go to the Old Haunt for drinks. He was buying. It was, after all, his bar.

Kate and Lanie found themselves a corner booth and settled in while Castle got them drinks. Ryan and Javier were still stuck at the precinct finishing up paperwork, but planned to join the group as soon as they could.

After checking her Facebook status, Lanie absently tucked her iPhone in her pocket and then shifted in her seat to face Kate. "So," chin-nodding in Castle's direction, "how's everything going with him?"

Kate popped a peanut into her mouth. "It's good," she nodded, her eyes twinkling as they wandered to where Castle stood behind the bar. She wrinkled her nose and smiled. "Fun."

"Yeah, I'll bet." Lanie replied, winking.

Kate laughed, leaning back in the booth and watching Castle as he used his affable charm to appease an angry customer. She looked at Lanie. "And, what about you and Javier? You guys still just friends?" An arch of her eyebrow, "with benefits?"

Lanie rolled her eyes, "Honestly, I don't know what we are. We don't want to be together, but we don't want to not be together."

"Sounds complicated," Kate replied.

"Girl, that isn't even the half of it!"

Kate was about to ask about the other half of it, but stopped short when a tall, black, well muscled, twenty-something man approached the table. He eyed Lanie up and down pouring on thickly the lets have a one night stand kind of charm while ignoring Lanie's obvious, though amused, rebuffs. When it was clear he wouldn't take no for an answer, Kate slapped her badge on the table. Usually, that did the trick. Unfortunately, Lanie's young casanova wasn't easily deterred.

So, Kate inched closer to Lanie, curving her arm seductively around her friends shoulders. "We're together," She lied, desperate times called for desperate measures.

He smiled. Looking from one to the other, not catching her drift.

Kate raised her eyebrows, scooting even closer. "She's with me? So..."

He continued to just stare.

Kate rolled her eyes, "Oh for god's sake," She reached over and framed Lanie's face with both hands, and, surprising the hell out of Lanie, planted a kiss squarely on her mouth. Their lips lingered for a few seconds, their eyes fluttering closed before they slowly parted.

Lanie suppressed her giggles as best she could while Kate turned back to the poor man, who, having finally figured it out, was now backing away from the pair.

"Ohhhhhh," Tall, dark, and clueless responded. "You're together, together."

Lanie and Kate, still in each others arms, nodded.

"Okay, then. Well, nice meeting you." He turned on his heel and walked away.

They hadn't noticed Castle. He stood there, holding their drinks precariously in his hands, slack-jawed and panting. "Wha, whoa, wha..."

"Settle down, Castle," Kate instructed, scooting back to her spot and seizing one of the wine glasses from his hand. "It's no big deal."

Lanie accepted the other glass, amused at his obvious confusion - and excitement. Then she side-glanced at Kate, "You," She pointed at Kate, "have done that before!"

"Of course she's done that before," Castle interjected, lowering his voice as he sat across from the two women. "A lot of times before, if you know what I mean." He winked.

"Everyone knows what you mean, Castle." Kate admonished, throwing him a look of mock indignation.

Lanie shook her head. "No, I mean, you've done that before. With a woman?"

Castle's eyes grew wide, "What?"

Kate pursed her lips, "What are you talking about? I have not." She shifted her eyes away, as though hoping the topic would shift with them.

"Girl? Please! You used tongue!" Lanie gently wiped her lips with her fingertips, "And rather well, I might add." She playfully eyed Kate up and down and then took another sip of her wine, grinning sheepishly.

"You used tongue?" Castle said, his voice rising eagerly, a devilish grin spreading across his face.

Kate folded her arms and regarded him, her lips drawn in a thin line, eyes narrowed.

"Yes. She. Did," Lanie affirmed, hiding behind her wine glass.

Castle clapped his hands together and brought them to his lips. "Well, this is just...delicious."

He couldn't stop thinking about it. Kate. Lanie. Kissing. Why was that so hot? And Lanie's suggestion that Kate had done that before? With other women? It was almost more than his adrenalized libido could bear.

He had to know. Laying on his back in her bed, his fist tapping absently against his forehead. He glanced at her, she was on her side, facing away from him, asleep, or at least pretending to be asleep.

They hadn't arrived at her place until after midnight, and she was so tired, that all they could do was slip out of their clothes and climb naked, exhausted, into bed. She was sound asleep within minutes.

But Castle lay awake, he couldn't get his mind to veer away from the image of Kate kissing another woman. She'd called him a pig on the drive home. What if I'd been kissing Javier? Would you be so excited by that? She'd asked, annoyed by his constant questions.

He had to admit, she had a point.

Still, it was hot! He didn't know why, he didn't care why, it just was.

He rolled over and tucked his hands beneath the pillow. He stared at her bare back, desperately wanting to reach out and caress her supple skin, but didn't, not wanting to be an ass since he knew she was utterly exhausted and needed to sleep.

He sighed.

"What?"

Startled, Castle paused, making sure he hadn't imagined it.

"Castle. What?"

She was awake! He replied, whispering, "What, what?"

She turned over to face him, a disapproving look on her face. "I can hear you, Castle."

He raised his eyebrows, confused, "I didn't say anything!"

"Yeah," she replied, "you were not saying anything very loudly."

He stared at her, his mouth agape.

"It's the girl on girl kissing thing, isn't it?"

"Whaaaat?"

"God, Castle. Why is that such a big deal to you?"

"I, I don't know. I'm sorry, but It's hot, Kate. Sexy. What's not to like about it?

"So, if Lanie and I were to have an affair, you'd be fine with that because it's sexy?"

He paused. "Well, no, I guess I wouldn't like that."

"So, what's the difference?"

He looked past her, focusing on a spot on the wall. "No fair with the Jedi mind tricks." He accused petulantly, propping his head sullenly in one hand.

She rolled her eyes.

"Just tell me this. Is it true what she said? Have you kissed other girls?"

She propped her own head in her hand and stared at him for a full thirty seconds before answering. He waited, sensing she was about to say something revelatory.

"You really want to know?"

"Yes, please." He said, smiling.

She sighed. "Fine. Okay, yes. I have kissed another woman."

He didn't say anything. His heart was racing in disbelief, he felt dizzy, breathless, aroused. He raised his eyebrows as if to say go on.

"It was in college." She paused, shaking her head and smiling. She scrutinized his eyes, her own narrowing. "Are you sure you want to hear this story?"

He nodded, a stupid grin plastered on his face, his eyes dilating with anticipation.

She regarded him again, biting the inside of her cheek before continuing. "It was my first year at Stanford. I was at a party. I was miserable, lonely, I barely knew anyone," Her eyes drifted past him, "...when this really lovely girl started talking to me like we were long lost friends." She scratched the tip of her nose with one slender finger. "We started talking, and drinking, and then we danced together.' She shook her head, smiling, her eyes returning to his. "It was totally innocent, Castle. But, I was intrigued by her. Oddly attracted to her, you know?"

He nodded. He knew.

"Anyway, I think it was just the night, the lubrication from the alcohol. She was so beautiful, all long legs, feminine curves, curly jet black hair that spilled down to her waist. God, she had this amazing confidence about her." Kate let out a long breath, "Something I didn't really have at the time, so, more than anything, that's what drew me to her. Like," She paused, searching for the right words, "...I wanted to be her."

Castle realized he'd been holding his breath. He exhaled quickly before filling his lungs with air.

She threw him an amused look and continued. "The party was starting to die down, so we went outside to sit on the patio. There were only a few other people milling around." She raised her eyes to the ceiling, smiling. "I don't even remember who initiated it, Castle, but." She looked back down at him, "We just started - making out." She shrugged.

He swallowed.

"Her lips were so soft, and round, and full. Just. Perfect. And, wow, she was a good kisser." She ran her fingertips across her lips, as though they remembered, too. "We probably sat out there for twenty minutes, just kissing, and we could have gone on like that all night." She reached out and lightly brushed her fingers over the stubble on his chin. "No face burn when you're kissing a woman." She laughed.

"Did you...?"

Her lips curved up in one corner, "Do anything else?"

He nodded, eagerly.

She paused as though considering her answer. "Yes."

He waited, dizzy, breathless. Yes? Did she just say, yes?

"We," She took another deep breath. "...went back to her place. She had this tiny little apartment near campus." She shifted, lifting her head and curling her hand in a fist before returning her head to rest against it. "I knew what she wanted when we went there, it wasn't like she was taking advantage of me." She paused again, as though considering her words carefully. "Truthfully, I'd never even thought about being with a woman before. But, you have to understand, Castle. She was something extraordinary. She was hypnotizing, exquisite."

He nodded knowingly, gazing at her with adoring eyes. "I know the type." You're the type. Extraordinary, hypnotizing, exquisite.

She blushed. Then hesitated, uncertainty suddenly flickering across her face.

He jutted his chin towards her, encouraging her to go on. "So...?"

She smiled, "So. She took me to her bed, Castle. She," Kate raised her eyes to the ceiling again, "did things to me I didn't know were possible."

He was holding his breath again.

"She took control. But not in an aggressive way. It was very sweet, very measured and thoughtful. She was more concerned with making sure I was okay, that I was," She paused, "...pleasured." She smiled, her eyes ablaze. "She undressed me, guided my hands to undress her. She showed me how she wanted me to touch her. And, when she touched me? It was like, electricity."

Electricity. Yes, he knew the feeling. Every time he was with her.

"Her tongue? Oh my goodness, the things she could do..."

His head snapped up. Her tongue? "Like..." He swallowed hard, an adolescent, panting grin on his face. "...what?"

She raised herself up on one elbow, her face inches from his, her breath warm on his lips. "She touched me with it."

"Touched you?" He asked, intrigued. "Where?"

He felt himself grow hard at the smoldering, mischievous expression on her face. The sudden playful arch of her eyebrow told him that she'd noticed. She reached for his hand and grasped it in hers, guiding it seductively beneath the covers, never allowing her hazel-brown eyes to stray from his. Their hands slid along the curve of her hip, the outside of her thigh, the inside of her thigh, then up to the place between her legs.

He swallowed.

"Here," She whispered, pressing his hand against her sex.

She was wet, warm, ready. He cupped her and a velvety sigh tumbled past her parted lips.

Then, she forced his hand away, as though afraid of what might happen if they lingered there for too long, and guided it slowly up her body, over her abdomen, until they rested on her naked, goose-fleshed, breast. He massaged it, using his thumb and forefinger to pinch the perfectly erect gumdrop nipple.

"Here." Her misty eyes searching his for a response.

Breathe, Rick, just, fucking breathe.

She let his hand, covered by hers, linger there for a moment, savoring his caress. Her eyes fluttered closed, her lips parted, her breath hot against his cheek. Then, remembering her purpose, she led them away from her breast, up to her throat where he fanned his fingers to lightly tickle her skin, to her parted lips, where they paused and she affectionately kissed the pads of his fingers.

"Here." She whispered against them.

She took his index finger into her mouth, sucking on it as she pulled it slowly out, her eyes locked onto his, then she pushed it back in and twirled it around with her tongue.

He gasped, and pushed himself against her, his erection persistent and eager on her hip

She continued, fully aware of the effect she was having on him - a growing awareness of the effect this was having on her, too. She wriggled her hips against him, whispering, "She was so beautiful, Castle. You should have seen her. Her breasts," She held out one hand, curving her fingers, "they were firm, and round. They fit perfectly in my hands, and, it was so titillating to play with them." She grinned slyly, "No pun intended."

Play with them? The image conjured up in Castle's fertile imagination was almost more than his aroused body could absorb.

"Oh, and she smelled like, like." She paused, as though sniffing the air around her, "...coconut. And, she tasted..."

"Tasted?" He squeaked.

Kate nodded, seeming to enjoy his growing carnal discomfort. "Like," She thought, raising her eyes to the ceiling before slowly meeting his eager stare, "vanilla and cocoa butter."

"You," He cleared his throat, "...tasted her?"

A sly grin creeping along her face, she rolled so half the length of her body covered half the length of his. She could feel his hardened excitement against her thigh. "Does that turn you on, Castle? Knowing I," She paused, kissing him softly on the mouth, flicking her tongue along his bottom lip before pulling away, "...tasted another woman?"

His sharp intake of breath was the only answer he could give.

And then he was on top of her, inside of her, their mouths engaged in a deep, frenzied, unabashed kiss. They were both ready, and despite her exhaustion, Kate matched his enthusiasm and rocked her hips against each thrust of him into her.

He had the nipple of one breast in his mouth, sucking it, nipping at it, swirling it around with his tongue, while her other breast was fully embraced by his wanting, eager hand.

Her head thrown back, eyes closed, body arched with anticipation, she moaned as the familiar ecstatic pleasure built up deep inside of her, seeking liberation, release, gratification. Sensing she was close, he quickened his rhythm, thrusting harder, deeper, more deliberately.

Until, finally, quickly, in a sudden frenzy of pleasure, she came. Wave after wave seized her, and she cried out, desperately grasping at his back, his neck, his hair, anywhere her hands could find purchase. Her entire charged body rocked and hummed and vibrated with sweet fulfillment.

And when she was still, he hesitated, relishing the sweet sensation of their sweaty, intoxicated joined bodies until finally, when he could wait no longer, he resumed his metronomic gyrations - the inevitable building within him, too. She tightened around him, moving her hips in anticipation of his need, until in one exhilarating, thunderous burst he came, pumping, thrusting, rocking inside of her until he was completely depleted and he collapsed on the bed in a sweaty, satiated heap, unable to breath, to talk, to think.

After a few minutes, he turned his head to gaze at her with unfocused eyes. She was staring at the ceiling, one hand casually resting against her forehead, her body calm, even, still, her bare chest rising and falling with each measured breath, her skin glowing. God, she is beautiful. He thought.

He exhaled heavily. "I still can't believe you had sex with a woman," he whispered, his deep voice cutting through the stillness of the room.

She turned her head and grinned at him, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

His eyes grew wide. "You - made that up?" He accused.

She laughed. "God, Castle, you are such an easy mark."

"Whoa, that's. That's. That is just mean, Kate!"

She rolled over, caressing his cheek with the palm of her hand. "I'm sorry, Castle. I just couldn't help myself. You were such an ass about it, I had to do it. We both know you'd have no respect for me if I hadn't!"

He balled up his hand in a fist and pumped it in the air, "Jedi mind tricks, again! Ugh!"

She nuzzled against him and he put his arm forgivingly around her.

"It was fun for a minute, though. Wasn't it? The idea of it?" She asked.

'Yes," He conceded, pulling her closer.

She laughed, then drew the covers up and over her shoulder and closed her eyes. Sleep came quickly and before long they were curled up together, blissfully dreaming of love, and lust, and forbidden infatuation.

Padding barefoot and boxer clad towards the bathroom after putting the coffee on to brew, a small framed black and white picture that was sitting on the table in her living room jumped out at him. He picked it up and immediately recognized a younger, but still striking, Kate Beckett. She was holding a solo cup in one hand and sitting on a couch with another woman who's arm was draped protectively around Kate's shoulders.

He sucked in a lungful of air and looked more closely at the picture.

The other woman had long black curly hair, and she was looking at Kate with unabashed, carnal, affection. Looking closer, was Kate's hand resting on the other woman's thigh?

His mouth dropped open. This was her. He thought. This was the woman!

Just then, Kate sauntered into the room, wearing a short satin bathrobe, rubbing her eyes with the heels of both hands. Her eyes fell to the framed picture in Castle's curious hands and froze, looking from it to him then back again. A momentary look of panic skittered across her face before she recovered and walked to him.

"Is this?" He held the picture up for her to see.

She took the picture from him and silently returned it to it's place on the table.

"Let me know when the coffee's ready," she asked, making her way towards the bathroom. "I'll be in the shower."

Please note. This may remain a one-shot, but there is room for additional chapters. Your feedback, and my schedule, will help me decide if I will continue this story.