Authors Note: This is something that just came to me. It may not be very good but I think that it is ok. Just think, it could be worse. I haven't eacutally written anything let alon posted anything for a long time that i thought to hell with it, lets just post something. It think it is a bit diffrent to what i usually do, usually i have a strong and rebellious Ginny, this time I have a weak Ginny, it felt really good to write.

Disclaimer: I don't own HP, never have never will. But I hope i have done justice with the characters. Well actually I hope they have done justice to me!

Mentor Teacher Friend

tOtAlLyxXxrUfUs

'Dear Diary,

Today I fell down the stairs to the Great Hall; everyone was pointing and laughing at me. I felt so embarrassed; I think my face was the same colour as my backside which I had fallen on.

Why is it all ways me doing the embarrassing things? I hate everyone looking at me all the time. I want people to forget me; I want people to be asking themselves where I have gone. You know like they are walking to breakfast and one says to the other: what ever happened to that Weasley girl, I haven't seen her in ages, maybe she died. That is what I want people to think that I am dead, I wouldn't have people that I don't even know looking at me and saying HA you are such a klutz!'

I looked up from my small diary. People still find it confusing as to why I write in a diary even though a diary nearly killed me in my first year. But then Potter, heroic Potter saved me from my horrible fate and I lived to tell the tale, but you know when days like today happen I wish that he had of gotten there too late and then I wouldn't have to face everyone at school.

Like today, I woke up in the morning on the floor, which is always a bad sign; this means that this day is going to be totally embarrassing. But anyway, I woke up, go dressed, when I was in the common room I realized I had put my lovely grey pleated skirt on inside out, so I had to run back up to my room and change it. this put me in a sour mood, so when my brother confronts me as to why the buttons on my shirt are not done up I try to be really cool and yell back at him but I realize I actually have nothing witty to say in return so I end up looking like a complete git.

But don't worry it gets way worse. so I go and have breakfast and somehow manage to spill a whole bowl of porridge down my now buttoned top which is okay considering I didn't really want to eat it, so after a few quick spells to remove all of the crap I meander over to my first class of the day. Potions. I mean I don't hate potions, I actually quite like it, and it is the one subject that I am good at. so Snape lets me do my potion without a partner so I finish nice and early, and as I am walking up to his desk to put my vial down I trip over my untied shoelace and land flat on my face in my potion.

Luckily the potion wasn't anything too bad, I did have a slight itch though but Snape quickly fixed that, he then continued to take 20 points off Gryffindor for my clumsiness and made me brew the whole thing again. So I didn't get out of class until half way through lunch, so while I was drinking a cup of pumpkin juice I had a coughing fit and spat it all over Hermione who then gave me an earful about breathing while drinking. Like I didn't know I had to!

So then after lunch I had Transfiguration with McGonagall, who was making us turn our desks into sofas. My desk ended up looking like a giant brown blob, that was quite comfortable to sit in, but McGonagall failed me anyway. So I was totally stressing because I don't like to fail things so I dropped all of my books in the door way, I bent down to pick them up and heard people laughing, it turns out that when I bent down everyone could see up my skirt so they had all seen my pink Barbie underwear. So everyone stared to call Barbie and I just wished that the ground would swallow me, but no matter how hard I wish it never happens.

After a little while longer the school day was over and I have gone back to my dorm to get changed for dinner. But of course I couldn't find my Chuck Taylor's so I was going insane and I managed to destroy my whole bedroom, which made the other girls in my dorm really mad at me. But when I was going down the stairs to get back to the great Hall I tripped over my feet and went bum first down all of the stairs. Everyone stopped to look at me and I was so embarrassed. I hated it.

But, it got worse when I was having dinner Draco Malfoy came sauntering over to the Gryffindor table and starts teasing me; he was calling a clumsy bitch and was telling me that I should invest in a pair of glasses so that I could actually see where I was going. the worst thing was the Ron was sitting right beside me and he didn't even stand up for me which Draco had no issues about mentioning, he told me that I am so dumb that even my own brother wasn't going to stand up for me. I then proceeded to burst into to tears and run out of the hall.

I ran out to the forbidden forest, I mean I know it is forbidden but the weird creatures in there are w a whole lot nicer than the kids at school. I mean I am in sixth year now, I thought I would have grown out of my disastrous faze but no it seems to be something that is going to haunt me for the rest of my life, well at least my schooling.

I can't believe it, I mean I thought I would be alright this year, I thought that everyone would forget me and my idiocy and get back to their own lives, but I am so bad that even people from Gryffindor join up with Malfoy and the other Slytherins to bag me, it really hurts.

I just wish that every one would see me and think that I was actually pretty cool, I wish that people would see that I was more then red hair and clumsiness. but you know, I sometimes think that that will never happen, I don't even have the social standing to be an individual I am merely the school reject, I mean the whole school, even the younger students don't talk to me, I am always alone because no one want sot be seen with the school dork.

Some one once told me that big or small everyone will have a time when they are most important but that seems to be never coming. I mean sure I survived the chamber of secrets but like who cares. Everyone loves Harry for it, I, according to them did nothing but fall in love with a jerk and suffer the consequences, but really I would love to see potter go through what I did. I know to some it may not seem much, but to be told that everything that you ever loved was wrong; to have someone control every thought every movement in your body is something completely different. I couldn't do anything without asking tom riddle if it was alright, I could eat, sleep, drink or even breather without wondering if it was okay. I was in love, I was a trusting and naive girl who fell for the bad guy and I had it all blow up in my face.

As I walk through the forest I hear a strange noise, it's like the sound of ripping toilet paper. I have never really felt scared in this forest, I know it is forbidden because it is really dangerous, but I feel like I trust everyone in here. Well there not really people mainly freaky spiders and weird animals but I like them all anyway because people fear them but leave them alone, I guess I want to be like that, maybe not the feared bit but the left alone bit sounds great.

"Who's there?" I shout, not really expecting a response, you never get one in here.

"Depends. Who are you?" a voice replies, this irks me, does this mean someone followed me into the forest? If so, for how long? I thought I was alone.

"I am Ginny Weasley. Now who are you and how long have you been following me? I don't like being followed." I reply, I figure they are going to see me and know who I am instantly anyway.

"No, not many people do. I hate to burst your bubble but I haven't been following you. I was merely going for an evening stroll when I heard someone talking. I then realized it was only the one person, I thought I would ask who it was so I would know who to avoid tomorrow at school because they were insane, but it turns out that it is only you. Well, I already knew you were insane. Didn't I Weasley?" the voice replies. That's when it hits me, I know this voice. I can picture him now, his silver blonde hair falling into to his ice blue eyes, the sleeves of his cloak rolled up just slightly so you can see the pale silver bracelet he wears. The emerald trim of his school robes lightly brushing the dead twigs and branches which we walk on.

Everything about Draco Malfoy cries arrogance. Even the echo of his footsteps in hallways make me want to curl up in a ball and hide somewhere because I know that he is going to make fun of me. I have never been in the same room as him without him making some snide remark about my appearance or something; it is quite annoying in fact, that everything about him so much better than me. When I compare my self to him, I realize how much I am worth which is nothing. I could never result in something as powerful as him, there is no one in the whole entire school that is remotely close to him, he is the smartest, boldest, the most arrogant and I am not ashamed to say but the hottest.

I know that I can say this because there is no way in hell would he ever consider me, because as I mentioned before I am worth nothing. So that means I can praise him till I'm blue in the face and I wouldn't even be talking him up. But I would die if he ever found out because then it would be another thing to bag me for, not that the list is long enough, I can never do anything right.

"Yes Draco." I reply feeling myself backing down; I find that agreeing with him about my worth is the easiest way for me to get rid of him. I already feel like I am dirt when I talk to him so I may as well agree.

"What? No fight?" he asks "Not even a Malfoy?"

"No"

"Stay where you are" he orders, and as usual I follow, if there is one thing I can do, that is follow orders, and it's not as if staying where I am is hard, but my heart is beating through my chest. I have to admit I am extremely nervous; he is so powerful he could do anything to me.

A few seconds later I hear very ungraceful crashing through the trees. Grunting and swearing as he tries to make his way through the thick shrubbery. Finally he appears disheveled in front of me, his shirt untucked and a few mysterious scratches across his face. He looks me up and down and snorts.

"You are pathetic." he states. I look down at my s hoes, he is right, I am pathetic.

"Yes" I say, even though I know it wasn't a question it was a statement.

"What happened to the Weasley temper? What happened to the fiery girl in first year? Where did she go?" he asks.

I have to think about this. Where did she go? She didn't take any shit from anyone, her temper was definitely short and she would go off her nut. But she just disappeared. I can't find her, I can't find her enthusiasm for life anyway, and it's as if some one simply erased her from my mind.

"I don't know. She is gone." I finally choke. I can feel the tears prickling at the back of my green eyes. I hate the feeling of no self-worth even though I have it everyday; I hate it when people point it out to me. I hate it even more when people bring up my old self, I am not her anymore, and she is dead to me.

"She's gone? Like she has just vanished? You really are a blood traitor. Any normal pureblooded wizard would have fought back but you simply agree you are weak. You are living in an imaginary world." he yells.

I fall to the ground, for some reason my legs just give way. I can't help it. She has vanished, there is not a single ounce of her in my body anymore her fire has turned to ashes in my heart. But I don't want to be this way but how am supposed to change? How?

"What do you want me to do about it? You name I will do it." I cry a pool of tears appear on the ground, I feel pathetic groveling at his feet, like an unwanted piece of shit. That's what I am a piece of unwanted trash.

"What do I want you to do about it? I don't think I matter in this situation. I have nothing to do with you, you are disgusting." he snaps. I immediately feel bad for saying that, he is right he has nothing to do with me. I am nothing to him. I am merely the youngest Weasley who is strangely lying at his feet praying for him to help me.

"I am sorry. Draco...," I look up at his face, his steely blue eyes are glaring down at me "I am disgusting" I say then I feel freakishly light headed. I don't remember much after that except the cold mud seeing into my ears.

The next morning I wake in the infirmary, I look up hoping to see someone, but there is no one. I am alone; no one would come to visit me. Madame Pomfrey comes to my side.

"How are you feeling? You fainted; Mr. Malfoy brought you to me. Before I give you the facts is there anything that you might consider had something to do with the incident?"

"No"

"The fact that you are not eating has slipped your mind? Miss Weasley, what is wrong, by the looks of your body, you haven't eaten for quite a while, your body must be starving."

"There is nothing wrong. I am perfectly fine. I just haven't been very hungry."

"Are you telling me that you haven't been hungry for the last year or maybe even longer? Are you trying to tell me that you are perfectly healthy and that I am asking questions for absolutely no reason?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I will stop asking then. But I do have to tell you that the head master has asked to see you in his office as soon as you feel up to it."

"Okay, I think I will go now." I weakly pulled my self off the bed, grabbing my school robe I leave the room. How dare she ask about me, I mean it's not like she doesn't know, I am fat, I am merely trying to lose weight, it's not like I am really sick or anything, I am just trying to make myself beautiful.

As I make my way to the headmaster's office I trip over my shoelace and fall down. But this time I feel strong hands grab my thin upper arms and haul me back to my feet. No one is laughing at me even though I see plenty of people in the hallway. No one is pointing or make jokes. I turn to look at the person who picked me; I nearly fall back to the ground when I see that it is Draco.

"How are you feeling?" he asks, I think I can actually here a hint of concern in his voice.

"I am fine thank you, I have to go, the headmaster wants to see Me." quietly I whisper. I am embarrassed that I fell and I did it in front of Draco.

"I know, I was asked to escort you." he states bluntly. I feel people watching us, meekly I nod, allowing him to lead me to the office, he whispers the password which was something silly like lemon drops or something, he then proceeds to drag me up the spiraling stairwell.

"Aah, I was wondering when you two would arrive." Professor Dumbledore says. I know though that he knew exactly when we were going to show, he knows everything.

"Yes, here we are now what is it?" Draco rudely snaps, I would never have the guts to speak to the head master like that, it's like he knows no boundaries, I wish I could feel like that.

"Straight to the point as usual Mister Malfoy. Well, I will be blunt. Miss Weasley you are sick." he says looking at me with concern.

"No I'm not." I say quietly I don't have any conviction in my voice so I sound pathetic. It's time like this I wish I was more like Malfoy and I could just say what I wanted to and actually make people believe me.

"Yes you are. I know these things. This is where you come in Mr. Malfoy."

"Look, I am not a doctor let alone a friend of hers. I can't help her with anorexia, she has to eat herself."

I look down at my thin wrists; does he not find me attractive? I was ding this for him, I heard him say one day that he didn't like fat chicks so I have made myself thin. I am totally pitiable.

"Miss Weasley needs someone that is not from the same setting as her. You are a proud man, you are a man who knows what he wants and you don't let anyone push you around, you are rule the roost so to say."

"So what are you saying, I haven't the time for your meaningless chatter."

"You are to be Miss Weasley's mentor, her teacher and her friend. I expect the best from you, she will be moving into your room this evening."

"My room?" he splutters.

"Yes, we believe that for you to help her fully, you really need to be with her majority of the time, your room will be enlarged as to accommodate her, your father has been told about this."

"I am outraged." he states, and he really didn't need to say it, take just one look at his red face and you would be able to tell.

"Draco I'm really sorry, I didn't know." I say the tears falling freely. It really is strange how I seem to spend allot of time apologizing to him.

"You should be. Why the hell couldn't you just eat? Huh? It's no that hard, if had have just kept healthy I wouldn't be in this hole. I cannot for the life of me fathom why you did this, it is totally and utterly ridiculous." he yells.

"You" I say, and then I leave the room, I don't know where I am going or why I am going? He asked me why, I told him. I did it all for him. I have already told him that I would do anything that he told me to.

I hear shouting behind me but I just ignore it, I am running blindly. Finally I run into the arms of the one and only Harry Potter. His annoyance clearly visible.

"What the hell do you think you are doing Ginny?" he yells, his eyes grow narrow and dark as he stare down at me "you can't just run around the halls like that. You are unbelievable."

I don't say anything I can't say anything, he is squeezing my shoulders so hard that if I open my mouth I would scream. His thumb is putting such pressure on my collarbone that I think I am going to fall down.

"Huh? What the hell is wrong with you, you are such a loser, a weirdo actually you are a freak. The biggest freak in the whole school, there is no one that beats you." he spits at me. Everyone is looking at me, there eyes burning holes into my body. Ron is standing beside Harry and staying silent, I know this is because he agrees. Everyone agrees.

"Get you freaking hands off of her." an angry voice yells Harry from behind me. I don't need to turn around to know that it is Draco, I want to die, and it is bad enough he knows my secret but does he have to see me being belittled by Harry and Ron.

"Why Malfoy?" Harry yells back. His grip on me tightens, I feel my eyes close.

"Because I told you to." Draco bites back, his voice staying as strong as ever.

"Piss off. She has nothing to do with you, and besides you know everything I said was true, even you can't argue with that."

"She has everything to do with me. It is really sad that the great and mighty Harry Potter has to pick on little girls to appear big and strong. I don't know about you, but I think it is really weak that you are trying to avoid a fight with me just to pick on Ginny."

"See I told you, you couldn't argue with me."

"She is mine now let her go. I swear if you hurt her I will kill you, I will break every bone in your little body and then burn you. I will get you if there is a single mark on her body and trust me I will know."

"So what, Ginny? Are you a little whore now? Sleeping with him to earn a few dollars?" Harry asks, clearly enjoying how he makes me feel.

"She is NOT A WHORE!" Draco yells and then punches Harry in the face, this causes him to let go of me, I feel Draco grab me around the waist and push me behind him.

"Now scram boy!" he yells at Harry who is holding he nose, the blood seeping through his fingers.

Draco the lifts me up and takes me to his room. I feel the darkness coming up to swallow me, and then there is nothing.

Authors Note:

Tell me what you thought. I hope it was okay, plaese tell me wether or not i should continue wiht it or whether it suck so much i should just go and jump of a cliff, to return to you the 10 minutes it took you to read it.

thanks for your support...

tOtAlLyxXxrUfUs