So, this has come a lot earlier than I expected but I'm not sure when the next one will come. I think I'll only be able to write on Saturdays so hopefully, every Saturday will be when I update. It carries on right where Broken Beginnings ended and I hope this is okay, chow x

...

"So, what do we do now?" Brendan asks, looking at Steven like he's his entire world because he is. Brendan's been missing this man in front of him for ten years; ten years has passed but he still feels just as strongly, Steven still owns his heart and now that he's back, Brendan's never going to let him go again.

Steven smiles at him, taking his hand before he begins to talk. "Now… I have to go back home and get my shit together before I can move back here and be with you… if that's what you want, of course." It's all Brendan's ever wanted, Steven back in his life but he doesn't want him to go, he never wants him to leave again because what if he doesn't come back? What if he leaves just like last time and Brendan doesn't think he could handle that again, not after last time.

"Will you come back?–" Steven nods and then Brendan feels something. When Steven left, Brendan hated him; resented him for leaving when he promised him he never would. He wanted to find Steven and scream at him before breaking his heart just like he broke Brendan's and suddenly, he can't help but wonder why it's taken the other man so long to come back for him. "Why now? Why come back after ten years?" He mumbles and Steven looks deep in thought, like there are images dancing behind his eyes and he turns to look at Brendan before speaking.

"I've come back for you before…–" Brendan shakes his head and Steven nods, telling him this isn't a joke but if Steven's come back for him before then why haven't they been in this position years ago? "–I'm urm… I'm a secretary and I had to come out here to get something for my boss, this was five years ago and I was going to come for you then but I picked up the paper, right? And there was this promotion for your club and you were with this bloke and I just thought… I thought you and him were together so I didn't do anything. It broke my heart and I should have come to see you but… I was terrified." Brendan begins to wonder who the other man was and he realises, it must have been Warren and he looks at him, finally meeting Steven's eyes, and there are unshed tears there and Steven's biting his lip like he's guilty or something and he grips Brendan hand tighter before speaking again. "And… I came back for you last year but you were with someone else and you looked… happy so I didn't want to ruin that, I'm so sorry." A tear falls down Steven's cheek and Brendan wipes it away with his thumb before Steven asks something, making Brendan feel guilty too. "Why didn't you come and find me?"

Brendan has to think about his answer for a second, why didn't he go and find Steven? Because he was Angry. That is the main reason, he was angry at him for leaving and Brendan is stubborn; he loves Steven – always will – but the other man said he would come for him, he never asked Brendan to go searching. "Because you said you would come for me…" Steven looks away and another tear slips down his face and this time, Brendan doesn't wipe it away. He needs to let this out, tell Steven how angry he was with him because if he doesn't, then he'll never be able to move on. "I was so angry with you , you know–" He looks at Steven and the other man nods, an understanding passing between them. "I… I actually hated you for doing that to me, for breaking my heart, for leaving me when you promised you wouldn't and I…" He squeezes Steven's hand, making him look at him because what he's about to say could Break Steven's heart even more. "I – I turned to drugs, once…" He laughs, something bitter coming out. "More than once actually… I was addicted to cocaine for eight years… have to go to classes once a week." Steven stares at him, practically sobbing now and he's saying he's so sorry for everything and Brendan pulls him into his arms, telling him to shush and that it's okay now because he's back.

"I… but how did it get so bad? I didn't think anything like that would happen…" Brendan wipes Steven's eyes and honestly, he doesn't really know how it got that bad. One day, alcohol just wasn't enough to numb his man and he ended up going out, looking for something stronger – absolutely pissed out of his mind and he found that stronger substance. Some low-life twat called Alex was hanging on the street corner and Brendan immediately recognised his type; drug dealer, plain and simple and Brendan asked him for whatever he had, brought the coke and then sniffed as much as he could until he passed out. He's only been totally clean for two years.

"I just couldn't cope with losing you, Steven. You were everything to me–" Brendan takes Steven's face in his palms and kisses him gently. "–You still are everything to me and… I just hope now – now that you know how fucked up I am… was, you still want me... just as much as I want you?" He mumbles and Steven looks at him incredulously, like he can't believe Brendan just said that and then he smiles, a smile so pure and full of love that it takes Brendan's breath away.

"I'm always gonna want you Brendan, I always have. That's why I broke up with Doug… because he said that he loved me and I said I could never love him back, not when someone else owned my heart…" Brendan feels his own tears well in his eyes and Steven smiles again before pulling out his phone. "So, I need your number right, because I want – no, have to talk to you every single day while I sort everything out, okay?" Brendan nods and they swap phones, exchanging numbers before standing up and walking back down the hill. "What made you come here today?" Steven motions around them and Brendan thinks for a second, he doesn't really know why he came to the hill today but he had a feeling… something drawing him to that special place.

"I just wanted to say goodbye to it… you know, because I never really have and it's been a long time…" Steven nods and says that's why he came, because he could never move on without finally saying bye to the one place everything started and when they reach Brendan's car, they drive to the hotel, grab Steven's stuff and drive straight to the airport. The goodbye is tearful, both of them not wanting to let go but eventually they share a lingering kiss, telling the other they love them before Steven gets out of the car and waves. Brendan immediately feels empty again.

–OXO–

One week later.

Brendan's been going out of his mind every day, just waiting until six pm every night because that's when Steven calls him and Anne laughs at him but she doesn't understand does she? She has the love of her life with her, she can see him whenever she wants and for Brendan, a phone call and a few texts each day isn't enough.

The office door opens and Brendan glares at the person who walks in, he hasn't seen him since that night he told him he could never love him but god knows he's had phone calls and voicemails and texts but of course, he's just ignored them. "What do you want Kevin?" He sighs, twiddling his pen between his fingers and when he looks at the clock, he immediately wants Kevin to fuck off; it's five to six and he hasn't had a text off Steven all day.

"I want to know why you won't love me back. What do I have to do to make you love me?" Brendan actually laughs at Kevin's pathetic tone, it may be harsh but the other man is frowning at him and Brendan needs to get this over with right now.

"Because Kevin, I love someone else and you… you were just a fuck okay? I'm sorry for stringing you along but… well, I don't want you." Brendan takes in Kevin's hurt face and he feels guilty but he doesn't really have time to comprehend it, not when he phones is ringing. He pulls open the drawer and smiles when he sees the caller ID, this is the best part of his day. "Steven, how are you?" He says, his heart instantly speeding up because it's just Steven, it's the effect the other man has on him.

"Hiya, Bren… yeah, im good. Listen, I have to stay here for another three weeks, my boss said I need to give at least three weeks' notice and I need to have that to leave my flat as well… I'm sorry…" Brendan stays silent because he didn't realise it would be that long, he didn't even think he would have to wait that long to have Steven back in his arms; a month isn't really that long if you think about it, not when he's waited ten years for this moment but still, it's too long. "I miss you Brendan…" Steven whispers and it picks Brendan's heart up again, makes him snap out of his silence.

"I miss you too, more than anything right now… I just want you here with me, you know?"

"Yeah, well, I've told Doug and he's helping me pack and that and then I'll be there with you…" Brendan can feel the smile in Steven's voice, can practically see it but he's too busy thinking about what Steven said. Douglas is helping him, his ex Douglas and Brendan can't help but be worried; what if he tries to take Steven away?

"Douglas?..." He mumbles and he hears Steven's sigh, he knows he's being paranoid but until Steven is here in his arms, he's going to constantly worry.

"Yeah Brendan, don't worry though, okay? I love you, right?" Steven says, his tone is so genuine and once again, he just takes Brendan's breath away.

"I love you too, Steven…" After that, they talk about how their days have been; Kevin fucked off as soon as Brendan picked up the phone and apparently, Steven has been working his arse off trying to get everything perfect. Most of his stuff has been sorted out, it's just a few things he needs to pack and then he'll be ready; they both say they love each-other again before putting down the phone and Brendan's smiling as he sits back at the desk and looks at the club's reports. His phone begins to vibrate and he looks at the message that comes through, something else from Steven,

Message from – Steven x

No other man has been in my mind because you are in my heart Brendan and I love you with my entire being, right? I have always loved you. I have thought of you every single day since I met you all those years ago and I never want anyone else, okay? I love you, I always have and I always will x

Brendan reads it twice – three times – and he can't think of a reply, nothing could possibly match up to that so he delves deep inside his heart an d tries to convey his feeling onto the phone screen.

Message to – Steven x

I've never loved anyone except you, you mean everything to me Steven. You're my whole world and you stole my heart the first time I saw you, never forget how much I love you x

–OXO–

Two weeks later.

It's only a week until Steven arrives now and Brendan can feel excitement running through his veins, they both decided last week that the night Steven arrives; they will sleep together again. But, they didn't want to do it with protection – not when the last time they were connected in such a pure way, there was no barriers between them and they've both been tested, both are clean and Brendan doesn't know if he's more excited by the fact Steven is moving in with him or that they are going to have a number of years to catch up on.

Cheryl and Anne are helping him with the flat, sorting out the cupboards and making space for Steven's stuff and both women are giggling at Brendan's nervousness. "Brendan, you know… I can't wait to see him again, I've missed him and I know nana would like to see you happy…" The thought of his Nan makes Brendan heart miss a bit, he'll always regret not making up with his Nan earlier, they could have had years together, not months. He wonders if Steven ever thinks about Seamus, wonders how he's coped with what he did; even if Seamus deserved it, taking a man's life won't just disappear from your head. The images must still haunt him and he decides he'll ask Steven when he sees him. "Brendan? What does he look like now?" Cheryl asks and Brendan can't think of any words to describe how amazing Steven looks now.

He looks right into Cheryl's eyes and with the amount of honesty he can muster, he says the only thing he can think of. "He's still the most beautiful man I've ever laid my eyes on."

Cheryl grins at him and Anne squeals, rubbing Brendan's hair with her hand and by the end of the day, they are all knackered but the flat has space. It has enough space for the person he loves to move in and that night, Brendan falls asleep with a smile on his face.

–OXO–

Three weeks later.

He's at the airport now, stood in the terminal and staring at the gate Steven is going to walk through; the other man's stuff arrived at Brendan's place yesterday afternoon and he's just left it all in the boxes, not looking at it because he wants to put it away with Steven present, so it's an act they do as a couple and as Brendan sees people pour through the gate, his heart picks up a notch… that is until it stops all together when he sees Steven's smiling face.

Steven runs towards him, dropping his hand luggage at Brendan's feet when he reaches him and then suddenly his legs are around Brendan's waist and they are kissing, a full, open-mouthed, tongue swapping kiss and neither give a shit if people are looking, only the two of them exist and right now, all Brendan cares about is pulling Steven closer, clinging onto him and never letting go. When they eventually break apart, both are breathing heavily and they are still in each-other's arms, still smiling at the other. "I missed you so much…" Steven whispers against Brendan's lips and Brendan hums in agreement, kissing Steven quickly before picking up his bag and pulling the other man towards the airport door, both stumbling in their haste to get to the car.

…

As soon as they are inside, they are ripping each-other's mouths apart, kissing with the desperation of two men starved of each-other because they are; they've been starved of seeing this other man properly for ten years and there's no time to waste, not when they both need that connection.

Clothes are strewn all over the flat by the time they reach the bedroom, items of clothing trailing behind them and Brendan pushes Steven onto the bed and he's just about to get on top of him as both of their eyes widen and they stare and each-other.

"Brendan…"

"Steven…"

They say at the same time and Brendan can't believe it, he updated his tattoo the week before Steven moved in with him but looking at Steven's hip now, he can see the other man did the same. Situated on Steven's right hip is a tattoo, a pair of wings spanning across his golden skin and underneath it is one name. Brendan. Steven sits up on his knees and moves towards Brendan, thumbing over his own tattoo; the small sparrow and the Steven that lies under it and neither man can believe the other has done this.

"You're amazing…" Steven whispers against Brendan's lips and Brendan puts his hand down and traces the outline of Steven's tattoo, withdrawing when the other man says it still hurts a little bit because he only had it done the last week and Brendan smiles, joking with Steven and telling him they are both marked men now before crawling on top of him and looking down into Steven's eyes.

"You're beautiful, you know that, don't you?" Brendan whispers, leaning down to kiss Steven's neck and the other man's breaths are heaving out of him.

"I believe it because it's coming from you…" Steven pulls Brendan back up and kisses him slowly, their tongues slicking together and creating a rhythm and Brendan reaches over, putting his hand into the draw before pulling out the new bottom of lube and uncapping it. He doesn't want this to be fast, he's had a sudden change of heart and although he wants to be inside Steven. He doesn't want to fuck him; no, he wants to make love to him because it's been so long. So long it hurts and as he pushes a finger inside Steven's hole, he slows down the kiss and sucks Steven's tongue.

Soon enough Brendan's single digit is being joined by a second, and then a third and before either of them knows what is happening, Brendan is slicking up his dick and pushing inside. The heat knocks him for six, the sounds of Steven moaning and panting in his ear filling his brain and the only thing Brendan can say is Steven's name and the only thing he can do is kiss the other man until he's delirious with it.

Steven moves his hand to Brendan's cheek and looks into his eyes, Brendan's instantly lost in a sea of blue and Steven has tears in his eyes, the emotion swelling in his heart is nearly overwhelming and Steven kisses him before speaking. "I love you… so much Brendan…" He says and then Brendan pushes in deeper, until he's balls deep and then, just as he feels like he's about to come, he whispers into Steven's ear.

"I never stopped loving you, Steven…" And that's all it takes for the other man to come, his dick going completely untouched and the feeling of Steven's muscles clenching around his dick pushes Brendan over the edge and he comes inside Steven, groaning and whimpering and it's noises he hasn't even heard from himself before but he's just letting it happen, just riding this orgasmic wave.

By the end of the night, they have made love five times and tomorrow, Brendan is planning to fuck Steven all over their flat and then they can unpack and get Steven settled in but for now… for now he's content with laying in Steven's arms and feeling the other man kiss his chest gently. "This is forever, isn't it?" Steven whispers, looking up into Brendan's eyes and there's a hint of fear there, that this is so good it could easily be ruined but it's not going to be, not if Brendan can help it.

He kisses Steven three times before entwining their fingers and putting Steven's head under his chin, kissing the top of it because it's there and Brendan can't help himself. "I promise you, this is forever…" He mumbles back and Steven simply tightens his arms around him before falling asleep soundly. Brendan follows almost instantly and he lies there, feeling Steven breathing against him as his heart swims with love.