SUN AND SHADOW

Kurt was absolutely devastated when Blaine turned up in NY to tell him he'd cheated. It wasn't the Blaine he knew and fell in love with. But when he hears that Blaine has left McKinley and nobody has heard from him, he gets suspicious, and worried. Canon up to 4x03.

Warnings: Mpreg.

Chapter 1

December 2012
Kurt's pov

'Welcome home,' Dad said, giving me a huge hug before I even had a chance to close the front door behind me. I had to admit, my Dad gave pretty awesome hugs.

'It's good to be back,' I replied once he'd let me free.

I left my suitcase in the hallway and followed Dad into the kitchen where two coffees were waiting at the table. 'Sit down... tell me all your news.'

I smiled at my Dad's excitement. It was so good to see him, but I must say that knowing he had Carole was a huge weight off my shoulders. I often wondered if I'd ever have gone to New York if Dad was on his own. Probably not. 'There's not much to tell,' I said, sitting down and taking a sip of my drink.

'Come on Kurt, you practically deafened me when you called to say you'd got into NYADA.'

'Oh I know, but I don't start until January so there's nothing new on that score... I can't wait though, it's gonna be amazing.'

'So things are working out really well in New York?'

I nodded. 'So far. I'll have to cut back on my hours at Vogue which kinda sucks as I love it there... but it's a far better part-time job than working in at a fast food restaurant or something.'

'What does Rachel do for a job?' Dad asked and I laughed.

'Rachel working? No, she has a very generous "parent" fund.'

'Lucky her. When I was at college I had three jobs on the side... which was a good thing otherwise I wouldn't have met your mother whilst I was delivering a parcel to her workplace.'

'Mom told me you met at a train station. She dropped something and you picked it up.'

Dad chuckled to himself, clearly thinking about a memory. 'Yeah, she told everyone that. Thought it was more romantic. Truth is, she kept ordering things and pretty much stalked me until I agreed to a date... I was a catch.'

'Sure you were,' I laughed.

'Anyway, are you planning on seeing any of your friends over the holidays?'

'I guess,' I replied. 'Mercedes is back visiting her parents so we'll probably meet up. Have you um... seen Blaine at all?'

Dad gave me a cautious look before answering. 'No... I bumped into his father a couple of weeks ago though, but we just talked football.'

'Oh right.'

'Why? Has he been harassing you? Do you want me to have a word with his parents?'

'No no... quite the opposite actually, I haven't heard from him at all.'

'But that's a good thing right?'

'I don't know. When Rachel and I went to the Grease musical he wouldn't even look at me. And the next day when we were guests at glee club he hadn't even shown up at school. Don't you think that's weird?'

'I thought you told him you never wanted to see him again?'

I rolled my eyes. Parents were so clueless sometimes. 'Well yeah, but I said that in the heat of the moment.'

'So you do want to see him?'

'No... I... I don't know. I've just been thinking a lot recently and I can't get my head around it.'

'Around what?'

'Why he never fought for me. He just left New York and... and nothing. I've been so busy being angry it didn't even occur to me until a few days ago.'

'So no drunken phone calls... texts... nothing?'

'Nothing... and the stupid thing is I miss him. He was my best friend and...'

I trailed off and choked back a sob. In a way, it had been far too easy to distract myself from Blaine once we broke up. We'd already spent a month apart and with a whole new city, job and friends to explore, my focus was solely on anger, hatred and hurt. But now things were settled, I had started to crave the little things. Before being my boyfriend, Blaine had been my friend.

'Are you saying you might want him back?' Dad asked sounding surprised.

'No... no. I just... I'm starting to think he actually wanted to break up. He said over and over again that he was sorry but he did nothing to try and save our relationship or beg for my forgiveness...'

~flashback~

2 months earlier

I felt sick and numb. I knew something was wrong; Blaine's performance at Callbacks was blatant enough. But this? I never thought I would ever hear those words from Blaine's mouth, my Blaine who was perfect, amazing and my soul mate. My mind was racing and I could barely get the next words out through the sobbing and shaking. 'W-was it Sebastian?'

Blaine shook his head, his eyes full of tears but he was keeping his emotions in check. 'No... I swear. It was nobody.'

'A n-nobody who was worth r-ruining what we had together?'

'I'm sorry.'

'Sorry? You're s-sorry?'

'The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you Kurt,' he whispered and reached out his hand to my arm but I flinched away.

'Don't touch me,' I yelled, the boiling anger beginning to take over my body. 'You don't ever get to touch me again.'

Blaine looked around as though worried people may overhear, but if he didn't want a scene he shouldn't have fucking told me in such a public place. He looked back at me. 'I'm so sorry. I-'

'Come on then... t-tell me who it is.'

Blaine looked to the floor before speaking again. 'You don't... you don't know him. It was just a hook up. I'm really sorry Kurt... I was lonely... I needed you but you weren't there and-'

'No. Don't you dare blame this on me... don't you dare.'

'I didn't mean it like that, I just... everything has been different since you left and I've been... I just needed... I'm sorry.'

I didn't even realise I was doing it, but my hand came up and slapped Blaine hard across the face. He winced but didn't say anything; after all he knew it was the least he deserved. Then I walked away.

~flashback end~

'...and from what I hear from the glee guys, he isn't seeing anyone.'

'So it's not like he had some other guy lined up?' Dad asked.

I nodded. 'Exactly.'

Dad frowned and thought for a moment. 'Hmm... maybe the way he saw it, he didn't deserve you after what happened... but it's certainly a little strange he's purposely avoided you. Have you tried to contact him?'

'No... I've dialled his number a million times but always disconnect it before it starts ringing... why am I only figuring all this out now?'

'Hey, don't be too hard on yourself, you put a wall up. A lot of people do that in these situations. It's a way of coping. But as time goes by the wall starts to break bit by bit. Although cliché, it sounds like you need closure. You have questions that need answering; otherwise you'll send yourself crazy over thinking everything. And Kurt, you may not like what you find out but in the long run it will be better for you.'

I sighed. 'I know. I'll probably try and call him after Christmas.'

'Try?'

'I'm not entirely sure he'd want to speak to me.'

Dad chuckled. 'It's Blaine; he probably thinks you hate him. He'll jump at the chance to try and make amends... even if it is just to be civil to one another in the future. After all he'll be in New York as well in a few months.'

I smiled. 'I hope so... and thanks Dad. I feel a lot better about the whole thing now. Rachel just said boys are pigs and to forget about him.'

'Women huh?' Dad said and we both laughed.

December 2012
Blaine's pov

It was a few days after Christmas and Cooper was due to arrive in the evening from LA, spending the New Year with us. I was both nervous and excited about seeing him. He didn't know about my pregnancy yet and I wasn't sure how he was going to react.

Oh yeah, by the way I'm pregnant. I already knew I had the gene so the so called 'happy news' didn't come as a huge shock, even though I'd taken all the precautions. I'm roughly four months along and before you start speculating yes Kurt is the father, and no I never cheated on him.

I was sitting at the kitchen table at home staring at my glass of orange juice when Mom came in. 'You ok Blaine?'

I smiled. 'Yeah, fine.'

'Do you want to come to the airport later or stay here and wait?'

'Stay here,' I replied. I don't think I'd relish a car journey with Cooper knowing what I was about to tell him. I could only handle so many nerves.

Mom made herself a coffee and then joined me at the table. 'So... we need to have a talk about the future.'

I swallowed thickly. 'What do you mean?'

'Well you're already showing a little and in a few weeks even baggy clothes aren't going to be able to hide it.'

I felt nauseous all of a sudden, which had nothing to do with the nervous energy that was building up. 'You think I should start telling people?'

'Maybe.'

'I don't want people knowing. I don't want to be a laughing stock.'

'Blaine, your closet friends will support you. Of course they'll be surprised but it's understandable... and I'm not going to lie, when you're too far gone to conceal it there will be ignorant remarks thrown your way by idiots but you know by now to rise above all that.'

I took a sip of my orange juice before saying something which had been on my mind for the past few weeks. 'I've been thinking that it might be best if I didn't go back to McKinley in January.'

'Blaine I don't think that's a good-'

'Mom please, just hear me out,' I interrupted and she nodded for me to continue. 'I'm due in May right? So I won't even be able to finish school and graduate. Life will be completely different for me with a new born, I don't really want to waste my last few months of quiet being bullied and doing pointless school work.'

Mom thought over what I'd said for a few moments before smiling at me. 'Ok. How about we defer your senior year and you can either attend a private school until spring break, or we can think of something else.'

I felt complete relief wash over me. 'Thanks Mom, you're the best... and I'm sorry for all the hassle I've caused.'

She took hold of my hand. 'Don't be silly. I'm your mother and you're carrying my grandchild. I'm more concerned about how you're feeling.'

'I'm fine... how's Dad's coping?'

'Well he's torn between excitement for his first grandchild and wanting to kill Kurt.'

I laughed. That was a fight I'd love to see. But of course, that would never happen. Kurt wasn't in my life anymore and never again would be. It made me so incredibly sad to think that I'd already met and lost the one. And although a long while off, I worried for the future. Would I ever meet someone who could cure my lovesick? Could I ever be with another guy? I guess only time would tell.

Later that afternoon I was sitting on my bed and looking through an old Dalton year book when there was a knock on my door. 'Blaine? Can I come in?'

'Yeah Dad.' The door opened and my Dad came in and sat on the edge of my bed, looking a little awkward. 'What's up?'

'There was a phone call just now... it was Kurt.'

My heart starting racing and I sat up straighter. 'W-what did he want?'

'To speak to you I guess, it's the holidays so he's probably at home. Your mother told him you were spending the Christmas holidays in LA with Cooper and wouldn't be back until the New Year... so if the phone rings it's probably best you don't answer it… and perhaps avoid going anywhere he could possibly be in the next few days.'

'Right... sure.'

'Unless you want to talk to him… do you?'

'No… no I can't,' I said in panic.

Dad smiled at me. 'It's ok Blaine, don't worry. I was only asking.'

'Thanks Dad.'

'Blaine... I'm not prying or trying to influence you but… are you absolutely sure not telling Kurt about the baby is the best solution?'

'Yes,' I whispered. 'It was a hard decision but… it really is for the best and I have my reasons but I… I can't-'

'Ok,' Dad said, patting me on the shoulder. 'As long as you're sure. We're off to the airport soon, are you sure you don't want to come with us?'

'I'm sure.'

'Ok, see you in a bit.'

Dad left me and I laid back, resting my head on the pillow and taking a deep breath. What was going on? Why did Kurt want to speak to me? He couldn't have found out about the baby, my parents were the only people that knew. We'd had no contact whatsoever since that day in New York. There was the Grease musical but I kept out of his way.

~flashback~

1 month earlier

'This will be your first public performance,' I said quietly to my stomach as I sat in front of the mirror in the dressing room (aka a math classroom). 'It's a good job I'm only doing one song and no dancing… you're killing me with this morning sickness… when are you going to give me a break-'

I stopped talking when I heard noise and Artie came wheeling into the room. 'Hey Blaine.'

'Hi… all set?'

'Yeah we're good to go. The others are going through last minute rehearsals backstage. You sure you're ok with the small role? Last year you were the main-'

'Really, I'm fine,' I interrupted with a laugh. 'My um… my focus just isn't great at the moment… got a lot of things going on… senior class president… and stuff.'

'Cool.' Artie looked at his watch and then began wheeling back out the room saying, 'Rachel and Kurt should be here any second.'

If I wasn't already sitting down I would have keeled over. My heart jumped into my throat. 'W-what do you mean Rachel and Kurt?'

Artie stopped and smiled over at me. 'They're surprising everyone with a visit.'

'Oh right.'

'Are… are you ok with that? I know you're not with Kurt anymore but-'

'No no no,' I said a little too quickly. 'It's not a problem; I just… wouldn't have thought they'd be interested in coming over to see our musical. After all, things between Finn and Rachel are pretty tense.'

'I dunno… but they're both staying until Sunday with their families I think… oh and tomorrow they're joining us in glee club. It's going to be so fun… but don't tell the others, that's supposed to be a secret as well.'

'Of course,' I said and then Artie left.

I got up from my seat and slid down the wall to the floor. My heart was thumping. I closed my eyes and tried to labour my erratic breathing. Kurt was coming to the musical. I was going to see him. He was going to be watching me perform. I couldn't do this… I just couldn't. I had to leave, I had to run away and-

'Blaine?'

My eyes snapped open and I looked up to see Sam looking down at me with a frown on his face. 'Are you ok dude?'

I shook my head.

Ten minutes later I left the dressing room with Sam and we made our way to the choir room to pick up the last few props needed for the show. I stalled as we approached the entrance to the auditorium. Kurt was stood there, talking to Finn and Mr Schue. I felt sick.

'Come on,' Sam said quietly beside me. 'You can do this man.'

With the little effort I had, I continued and walked straight past them. I could feel Kurt's eyes on me, could feel the heat, but I got through it and used all my willpower to stop the tears that were threatening to fall.

~flashback end~

Two hours later my Dad's car pulled up into the driveway. My parents and Cooper got out and my stomach turned. This was it, I was about to tell my big brother he was going to be an uncle. What was his response going to be? Silence? Anger? Disgust? Although I'd had days, if not weeks leading up to this moment, I felt as though I was completely underprepared. The front door opened and moments later Cooper came walking into the living room, and beamed as he saw me standing there. Mom and Dad had stayed outside, like they said they would, to give me time alone with Cooper.

'Hey squirt, gonna give your big bro a hug?'

'Hi Coop,' I replied and walked over to give him a hug.

As we parted, Cooper looked at me with worried eyes. 'Are you alright? You look like you've just seen a ghost.'

'Um… actually… there's something I need to tell you.'

'O…kay… what's going on?'

'Well… I'm just… I'm just gonna say it… I…'

Cooper let out a nervous laugh. 'Come on B, you're scaring me now.'

I decided to just get it out as quick as possible. 'YouknowI'vegotthatbabygenewellI'mpregnantsoyeah.'

He looked confused for a moment as his brain unscrambled my ramblings. Then his eyes widened. 'Oh my god... you're a bottom?'

To be continued!

Thank you so much for reading the first chapter of my story and I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave me a review and let me know if it was any good and worth continuing :) I have the story mapped out and a lot written already, but I am really curious as to what your opinions would be on the following questions… and would be open to changing things if it seems most people are thinking differently from me or have a better idea haha…

When would you want Kurt to find out about the baby…
Before it's born?
Shortly after it's born?
Several weeks/months after it's born?
Other?

How would you want Kurt to find out about the baby…
Via Sam?
Via Cooper?
Via Mr & Mrs Anderson?
Via Blaine himself?
Other?