"I love you, Lisbon," Jane said. It was a hot day in the office and so far it was lunch time and they hadn't been given a case and the air conditioner had broken. Jane and Lisbon where in Lisbon's office, and Jane was once again being spoken with about proper behavior and all that good stuff. But Jane's mind had wandered away from him. Lisbon had asked him what he was thinking about, and he just said it.
It was like he'd dropped a bomb in the office. Lisbon, who was standing before Jane on the other, guest, side of her desk, stared up at him with a puzzled look her face, questioning in her eye's. Jane continued, "I love you so much, and I was lying when I said I didn't remember telling. I was just scared. Scared of losing you because of it, scared of Red John finding out. Scared that you didn't feel the same way, that it would ruin our current friendship. But I don't care! I don't care about Red John, he will never get his blood-covered hands on you. I walked through those CBI doors a broken man, Teresa, and you fixed me. And there really is no other way to put it. I love you." Before he could lose his never, Jane leaned in and kissed Lisbon. It felt so good, so right, to him at least.
But Lisbon wasn't on the same page, unfortunately. She pushed Jane back and they stared at each other for a minute. Jane had deer-in-the-head-lights look on and shame and rejection burnt in his eye's. Lisbon had a shocked look on her face mixed with the look she usually got on her face before she hit him and panic. Disgust and anger in her eye's.
Lisbon opened her mouth to say something but Jane turned, opened her office door and ran for his attic, tears beginning to stream down his face. Lisbon could feel the tear coming to her as well. She closed the blinds on her windows and locked her office doors. Then she fell into the chair Jane had vacated minutes earlier, and put her head in her hands, crying, tears pooling in her palms then gently sliding down her arms. She knew that relationships like that weren't allowed between members of the same team, but right at that moment she didn't care. She loved him back and now she'd hurt him, possibly destroying any hope of ever becoming friends again, let alone lovers. Pain was pounding around inside her, threaten to tear her apart.. If only she could've told him. If only she had the courage to tell him.
Up in his attic Jane was doing something similar. He closed the curtains on the big window, closing off the one light source, almost completely. There was still a faint glow that enable he to move around without tripping over stuff or walking into a wall. He collapsed onto the little bed he'd made him self up here and ran his hands through his hair. Jane kept his hands in the hair at the back of his head as he put his elbows on his knee's. His head bowed, tear's sliding down the crease of his elbow, he pulled his hair so hard it hurt. But I was nothing, nothing, compared to the pain in his chest. The rejection from the one person he'd come to trust since his family had died. And it was his fault. Their feelings had been hovering around them like a bomb, threatening, always threatening to poor down on them, but they'd ignored it. Now he'd set that bomb off and it had blown up in his face in a big way.
There was a knock on Lisbon's office door, causing her to pull her head out of her hands, wipe her face off with a tissue and get up and answer the door. It was Van Pelt. "Hey, boss, what's up?"
"Nothing," Lisbon replied, sitting down on the her side of her desk.
Van Pelt sat down opposite her, in the chair Jane had been sitting in only minutes ago. that thought sent a wave of guilt through Lisbon. If she had've said something. "No?" Van Pelt asked, pulling Lisbon from her thought. "Then why were you in here crying, why is Jane up in the attic crying, and why did he kiss you?"
Lisbon looked at her hands folded in her lap, her hair falling into her face "It's nothing."
"It's a big nothing, then," Van Pelt replied, "What happened?"
Lisbon stayed for a few minutes before realizing Van Pelt wasn't going to leave until she told her, then deciding on the right words, "I was talking to him about how he solved our latest case. Then I ask him if what he's think about, because he obviously wasn't paying attention. Then he told me he loves me. then he kissed me and I pushed him away," Lisbon could feel the prickle of tear forming in her eye's, Lisbon continued, "I'm not sure what I was think, nor what the look on my face must have looked like. But he looked hurt, rejected," Lisbon could feel the tears spill from her eye's, leaving their hot paths behind them as she sat there, "And her ran, and it's my fault." Lisbon could feel sobs begin to rack her body as she sat there and cried.
Lisbon felt Van Pelt's arms wrap themselves around her shoulder, heard her voice whisper softly, "Go talk to him."
"I can't," Lisbon replied, still not looking up from her hands.
"You need to," Van Pelt insisted.
"I can't," Lisbon repeated helplessly.
"You can and you will," Van Pelt told Lisbon, causing Lisbon to look up at Van Pelt, who smiled, "It's Jane. He's a pain in the ass sometimes, but you love him and you need to set this right. Van Pelt left, leaving Lisbon alone with her thoughts.
And think she did. Of how right, how perfect that short kiss had been. Lisbon knew there was only one way for this to end properly. She left her office and went to the bathroom. She washed her face and then she ran upstairs to the attic, to Jane.
Jane heard a knock on the door, but he just lay there, ignoring it. "Open the door, Jane," Jane heard Lisbon call from the other side of the door. He didn't wanna talk about this right now, not ever. "Come on, I know you're in there," Lisbon tried again, still knocking on the door. Jane ignored her, wondering if he just sat there silently if she would just go away. "Patrick, open the damn door," Lisbon demanding, knocking on the door.
He couldn't take it, "Why? So you explain to me how was wrong, and that I was wrong for assuming you cared about me as more than a friend? Well you don't have to."
There was a pause, then, "You weren't wrong."
Jane kept his expression blank as he open the door and let Lisbon in, then closed it after. He knew she could see the tear streaks on his face, and he could just barely tell she'd been crying, too. "What do you mean?" He asked suspiciously.
Lisbon's eye's moved from looking into Jane's eye's, to somewhere over his should, to the floor at their feet. Then she kissed him. Jane stood stiff for a few moment's before relaxing and wrapping his arm's around her waist as she wrapped her arm's around his neck. As they kiss their thought's melt. The only thing on their minds was they were together. When their need for air finally forced them apart Lisbon stepped closed to Jane, laying her head on his shoulder and whispered, "I mean, I love you, too." They smiled and Jane wrapped his tighter around her waist.
This is my first Mentalist fanfic. Please let me know you think,
and if you think I should continue this
story.
Thanks.
~TheFangirlChick
