A/N: This is my revision of Living in Shadow. It tells the same story, but I've added some more background information and also a bit more elaboration on some of the themes that are present. On top of that, I've spaced out the paragraphs and rewritten some of the sentences so they flow a little better grammatically. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any related characters from the video games, Sonic X, or the Archie Comics.

Chapter One

It was a dreary, rainy day. Of course, to a certain depressed two-tailed fox, everyday seemed that way. Two years had passed since the defeat of the Metarex, and the death of the only one the flying vulpine ever truly loved.

Tails was in his room lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. After he was basically forced to kill Cosmo, he'd cultivated her seed as promised. After two years, he figured that something would have happened. This is what was causing his depression. He'd heard all of the clichés: "It'll get better in time; eventually the hurt will go away." He let out a deep sigh. The clichés were wrong. The hurt doesn't go away; it never goes away. If anything, it gets stronger. He sighed again. He didn't notice the cream colored rabbit floating outside his window.

Cream hovered back down to the ground where Chris was waiting. After the fall of the Metarex, Chris finally perfected his dimensional portal, and it is now possible for denizens of one dimension to freely cross over to the other. He also found a way to synchronize the time streams, so time passes the same in both dimensions.

"It doesn't look like he's moved since I checked this morning," said Cream upon landing under his waiting umbrella, "I'm worried about him. It seems like he's getting worse."

"I'll stop by tonight to talk to him before I go home," said Chris. She nodded as they turned and walked down the road towards Sonic's house.

Back in his room, Tails sat up and glanced out his window to see his two friends walking away, "I wish they would stop coming to check up on me."

The truth was that he didn't want his friends to see him. While the past two years had been strenuous, many things changed for the better. While fighting the evil Imperator Ix and the Nocturnus Clan, Knuckles discovered that he was not the last echidna. After Ix's defeat, Shade came back with the rest of the group and took up residence with Knuckles on Angel Island. Also during the course of the fight with Ix, Sonic discovered his true feelings for Amy, and the two of them had begun dating. While for many, the last two years had changed for the better, Tails had changed for the worse.

The good thing about their fight with Ix, for Tails anyway, was that it kept him busy. Due to the constant fighting, he didn't have time to grieve for his lost love. This changed after they found peace again. At first, he managed to keep up appearances. He still managed to find time to hang out with his friends. This continued until Chris came back. While the reappearance of his friend was a good thing, it brought back the Memories of the fight against the Metarex. That day was the first day since they began the fight with Ix that Tails went into his workshop to gaze upon the small blossom on his workbench. After seeing how little progress occurred over the year and a half, he entered a fit of rage. He grabbed the closest unfinished invention and hurled it across the room. It shattered as it hit the wall. Since then the size of the pile of broken inventions has increased as did his frustration. The rest of his workshop was also in a state of deterioration. The Tornado and the Cyclone sat in his garage, covered in a thick layer of dust, unmoved since the invasion of the Nocturnus clan.

The most noticeable change was his wardrobe. Before, he wore only a scarf on some occasion, but now he never goes anywhere without his leather jacket or any other piece of clothing that covered his wrists. His friends never really questioned the change any more than a passing inquiry, to which Tails would respond that he just felt like changing his style. He didn't like lying to his friends, but he feared the alternative.

Tails got out of bed, walked to his dresser and pulled open the top drawer. He reached in and pulled out a single razor blade. He looked at the fox reflected back at him in his mirror. This was the reason he changed his wardrobe and the reason why he didn't want to see his friends. What would they think if they knew about this shameful act that he indulged in? His only reason for doing so was to hopefully distract himself from the pain that he felt deep in his heart with a physical pain, a pain with a tangible cause. He rolled up the sleeve of the jacket he was wearing to reveal several scars of previous cuts. He lowered the blade slowly, questioning himself, like every other time, as to why he does what he does. He brought the blade across his wrist, as blood began to flow.

His revelry was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Fuck," he said as he grabbed a towel and wrapped his wrist. He ran to the door while thinking of an excuse for his hemorrhaging arm.

"Tails," shouted the pink hedgehog on his front stoop.

'Why do I have to deal with Amy right now,' he thought as he reached for the doorknob and opened the door.

"Hi Tails," she said cheerfully. Then she saw his arm.

"Oh my god," she said, "What happened?"

Tails thought quickly and said the first thing that came to mind, "I was working in my workshop and cut myself on a piece of metal."

"Let me help you," she said.

"No," he said, "That's okay, I've got it. Come in and sit down. I'll be right back."

He turned back to the stairs and went up to his bathroom.

Instead of going into his living room, Amy waited a few minutes and followed Tails up the stairs. She glanced into his bathroom to see him wrapping his arm in a bandage. She turned to go back down the stairs when she glanced into his bed room. She saw the puddle of blood on his dresser and the discarded razor lying in the center.

"My God, Tails," she whispered to herself, "What did you do?"

She walked into his room and picked up the razor. She turned to confront her friend.

"Tails," she said as he walked out of the bathroom, "we need to talk."

She held up the razor. Tails lowered his head in shame. That shame rapidly changed to anger.

"I told you to stay downstairs," he said.

He lifted his head and glared at her angrily. Instantly she was afraid.

"What right do you have to go into my room," he said seething.

"Tails, I…," she stammered.

"Get the fuck out of my house," he shouted.

"But…," she started.

"Now," he all but screamed.

Tears fell down her cheeks as she turned and ran out his front door. After she was gone, Tails anger suddenly turned into sorrow. He fell to his knees sobbing.

"What the fuck have I done," he said.

He stood up and walked into his room and slammed the door. He looked out his window to see Amy running down the road towards Sonic's house. He flopped on his bed and buried his face in the pillow and wallowed in his misery. He knew the day was far from over.

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