He breathed slowly, closing his eyes and focusing on the air entering and exiting his lungs. Hearing the sound of the crowd had always made him nervous. Waiting to go on stage made him feel even more uneasy. He tried to remember why he was doing this. It was clear he wasn't doing this for himself. He wasn't allowed to do anything for his own reasons. Hearing a knock at the door he gave a heavy sigh, opening his eyes.
"Come in." He said softly, knowing that his voice would still be heard.
"Yuki, you're on in 10 minutes." The voice came from the other side of the open door.
"Thank you, Shigure." He responded glumly, not bothering to make eye contact with his band manager.
"Is everything okay? You need anything?" Shigure asked, taking in the melancholy affect of the young man sitting in the backstage changing room.
"I'm fine…" Yuki murmured, grabbing a glass of clear liquid and putting it to his lips.
"That had better be water, Yuki." Shigure chided, and Yuki glanced at him with a blank stare.
Yuki continued to drink, finishing the rest of his glass without taking a breath. Shigure simply watched with a dubious expression. Yuki set the glass down and closed his eyes, feeling the familiar warmth emanate from his abdomen and spread through the rest of his body. A slight smile played across his lips, he had learned to enjoy this sensation. If he expected him to perform on stage as his personal money, Yuki needed an incentive. Shigure stood in the doorway for a moment before giving a huff of disapproval and closing the door to the dressing room, leaving Yuki alone.
He swiveled in the chair to face the mirror. The heavy makeup had always bothered him…always. 'It's part of the image' he had been told by his producer. The devil himself. Somehow he had always felt there was more to it then that. A reason he wanted Yuki to look so effeminate. Whatever the reason, Yuki could not deny that the fans loved it. He looked at the clock, show time. Standing up he felt his head spin, and braced himself on the wall for a moment. He had to pull himself together and get through this. Taking another breath he steadied himself, and made his way out of the room. He paused just to the left of the stage, waiting for his entrance cue. Plastering on a fake smile, he sauntered onto the stage as he was introduced.
"Thank you!" He shouted to the crowd from his headset as he waved enthusiastically to them. "Thank you all for being here. You are in for a real treat tonight. I have been working on a new song, and you are going to be the first to hear it!" With that the crowd shrieked in delight.
Yuki found his way to the middle of the stage where a stool was waiting for him. He sat, grateful that Shigure had remembered to set the stage properly, as he was in no shape to stand at the moment. The music began, and the crowd quieted in eager anticipation. Yuki closed his eyes, feeling the music move through him from the amplifiers on either side of the stage. He began, his voice velvet and flawless.
Take a breath
Hold it in
Start a fight
You won't win
Had enough
Let's begin
Nevermind
I don't care
The heavy medal beat grew in intensity as he reached the chorus, his voice picking up an edge.
All in all
You're no good
You don't cry
Like you should
Let it go
If you could
When love dies in the end
So I'll find what lies beneath
Your sick twisted smile
As I lie underneath
Your cold jaded eyes
Now you turn the tide on me
'Cause you're so unkind
I will always be here
For the rest of my life
Yuki screamed the last two words, his voice carrying effortlessly over the heavy bass. He paused, letting the music envelop him. Starting again, his voice turned velvet.
Here we go
Does it hurt
Say goodbye
to this world
I will not
Be undone
Come to life
It gets worse
His face became pained, though he doubted the crowd would notice. These memories would only be seen as part of an act to entertain. His pain was their amusement, and they so enjoyed it. An edge entered his voice as he began the chorus again.
All in all
You're no good
You don't cry
Like you should
I'll be gone
when you fall
Your sad life
Says it all
So I'll find what lies beneath
Your sick twisted smile
As I lie underneath
Your cold jaded eyes
Now you turn the tide on me
'Cause you're so unkind
I will always be here
For the rest of my life
He took a breath, readying himself for the complicated bridge.
Don't carry me under
He screamed the lyrics as the crowd swayed in rapture to the music.
You're the devil in disguise
God sing for the hopeless
His deep scream resonated through the large room. Why the fans loved this he still did not quite understand.
I'm the one you left behind
Relief crossed his face as he knew the song was coming to an end.
So I'll find what lies beneath
Your sick twisted smile
As I lie underneath
Your cold jaded eyes
Now you turn the tide on me
'Cause you're so unkind
I will always be here
For the rest of my life
As the music faded, and finally came to a close, the crowd erupted into thunderous applause. The deafening sound made Yuki's head ache, but he opened his eyes and smiled at his fans. How they loved his misery. Another hour and a half. That was how long he needed to hold it together. The music cued back up and he began into the more familiar songs his fans adored.
The rest of the show went flawlessly, as they had all of the times before. Yuki's performance was nothing less than perfect. Exiting the stage after the show, he made his way back to the dressing room. Taking a seat in his chair he became keenly aware that he was not alone. Not looking to see who might be behind him he simply went about his business, taking off his makeup.
"Did you enjoy the show?" He asked, finally directing his gaze in the mirror to look at the man leaning against the wall behind him.
"You really need to stop writing shit about me…" The voice murmured, as the man exhaled the smoke from the cigarette in his hand.
"What makes you think my songs are about you?" Yuki stated coldly, continuing the arduous task of cleaning his face.
"Aren't they?" The man challenged, taking another drag of his cigarette.
"I thought you wanted to be my muse." Yuki stated indifferently, taking off his black spiked wrist bands.
The man approached him, cigarette in hand. His eyes were cold and merciless a small, wicked smile playing across his lips. He paused right behind Yuki, looking at him through the mirror.
"I may be your muse." He stated coldly, placing a hand on Yuki's left shoulder. "But just remember who owns you…"
With that the man took his cigarette and slowly snuffed it out on Yuki's bare right shoulder. Yuki winced slightly, but made no other sigh of pain. Something like glee flickered behind the man's cold eyes before he turned around to exit the room. Just before leaving he paused in the doorway, peering over his shoulder.
"See you around, Yuki." He said, more of a threat then a cordial farewell.
"Akito…" Was Yuki's only parting shot to his producer before he left.
A/N: Featured lyrics in this chapter are from the song "What Lies Beneath" by Breaking Benjamin. Needless to say, I don't own the song or Fruit Baskets. I used the lyrics because I have always thought they fit the Yuki/Akito relationship...and am not creative enough to have come up with my own lyrics! :) Enjoy the first chapter, and review!