Chapter one – I didn't….I'm sorry

A/N Only Oc characters belong to me. I hope to update chapters as much as I can. All mistakes are mine reviews are appreciated but please be kind. Hope you all enjoy. WARNING OF TRIGGORS FOR SOME PEOPLE

Nine months! That's how Lieutenant Benson and Captain Tucker had been seeing each other and so far, the only people who knew were two-year-old Noah, Ed's daughters Emily age twenty two and Grace aged fifteen and Ed's family, everyone else was still in the dark until one day it changed.

The team had just finished up a case and were now completing their paper work making sure all I's were dotted and T's were crossed when a young girl walking into the squad room, tears running down her face silently crying and her arms wrapped around her chest practically coward in on her self and some blood on the thigh of her pants leg. Amanda was the first to notice the girl and slowly stood from her desk carefully making her way to the shaking girl.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Amanda asked softly.
"Is….is…Livvie…. Um I mean is Detective Benson here" Stuttered the girl.
"Sure, sweetie in her office. I'll take you to her"

Taking the girl, the few steps to Olivia's office she knocked on the door a few times and opened it just as Olivia took her glasses off, looking up towards the door and was up of her seat in a second.

"Gracie what happened?" Asked Olivia
"I asked him…to…to stop…I told him no" She cried, her legs going out from under.
"Who did sweetie" Questioned Olivia catching her and leading her to the couch nodding for Amanda to come in and close door.
"Tommy. I didn't want it. I kept saying no but he wouldn't listen to me"
"Did he rape you sweetie?" Asked Amanda gently.
"Yeah...I'm sorry Livvie, I promise I said no" Stuttered Grace
"No baby no. You have no reason to be sorry. I'm not going to be allowed to work on this okay, but I'll get the team on it. I'm not leaving unless you tell me to but Amanda here is going to take over and explain the process to you" Explained Olivia not wanting to compromise the case in anyway.
"First I'm going to take your statement, then we have to go to the hospital to get you examined and they'll do a rape kit, I'm also going to need to call your mom and dad" Amanda then explained slightly confused as to why Olivia couldn't work the case.
"Livvie is the closest thing I have to a mom and you'll probably have a way to contact my daddy he's Ed Tucker" Told the girl as Amanda nodded and sent Olivia a confused look.
"I'll call and tell Ed on the way to the hospital." Stated Olivia.

It didn't take long to get Grace's statement and Olivia had never fought so hard to keep her anger in as she listened. However listening to the girl give her statement about what happened it brought back feelings she had tried so hard to forget and she was only just able to get a control of her emotions by a thread as Amanda asked all the gruelling questions they asked victims on a daily biases.

Amanda hating asking the daughter of Ed Tucker the questions and invading her privacy and it was just as hard watching her boss sit there and try not to show nay emotions but when Amanda asked if they'd had sex recently to clarify if anything showed up in the rape kit Olivia had to look away for a second as Grace explained that they had never had sex and she was in the middle of breaking up with him when it happened.

"We never had sex…I…I wouldn't do it. I'm still a virgin…was a virgin now, I guess. I thought being with him would fix it but…It didn't so I was breaking up with him" Told Grace silently crying
"Fix what sweetheart" Asked Olivia and Amanda at the same time.
"Nothing Fix nothing" Back tracked Grace
"Speak to me baby! Fix what?" Asked Olivia getting Grace to look at her.
"The gay thoughts. He asked me out so I said yes thinking that it get rid of them but them he started going on about sex and always wanting it but that just confirmed the gayness and I told him that….He didn't like that and that's when he pushed me down tore my shorts and panties said he'd change my mind. Then his lips were down there on, on me. I tried to fight him off, so he bit my thigh till it was bleeding. Next this I know he was in me he was rough, and it hurt so bad like he was ripping me apart. I was bleeding."
"Oh, baby there is nothing wrong or that needs to be fixed with you being gay" Spoke Olivia softly
"What did you do with your clothes?" Asked Amanda
"In my backpack" She pointed to it sitting outside by the squad room door "My thigh had stopped bleeding by the time he was done but um I was bleeding really bad and he um has sisters so I took pads from their supply doubled up and stole a pare of his sweats then came right here"
"You did good sweetie, now we have to go to the hospital"

After taking her statement they got her to the hospital and checked in at the Emergency room for a rape kit and help with the bleeding. Both women stayed by her side at the girls request and Olivia told Carisi that she had notified Ed but to keep him out of the room until she came and got him.

Grace had required stitched for vaginal taring, and the bite mark had to be glued shut and dressed. With every flash of the camera Grace had jumped and clutched Olivia's hand tighter but when it was time for the nurse to use the speculum Grace freaked out and started sobbing saying that she was to sore, that it was going to hurt to much.

Olivia gave her a seconds before leaning her forearm on the other side of the bed balancing over Grace and reached up with her other hand gently stroking her hair as she reminded Grace to look at her and to take a deep breath, that she was right there, explaining that the nurse would go slow and use something to help in slide in without causing to much pain so Grace agreed and let the nurse do the exam. Her eyes never once moving from Olivia's lips and the older woman gently wiped away every silent tear.

At the end she was given ointment to put on over the stitched twice a day and instructions to use a mirror to see what she was doing and if she struggled to ask for help or set up an appointment with her paediatrician. When Ed was finally allowed in Amanda promised they would nail the son of a bitch because after all they would have a solid case with DNA the impression from the bite mark and hopefully his building would have surveillance cameras and she was away to call about a warrant to go and pick him up.

By the time the nurse had come back with the discharge papers Grace who didn't want to go over it again had gotten Olivia to fill Ed in. Finally, though the hospital had discharged Grace and it wasn't long before they were walking through to door to Ed's apartment. Unfortunately, it was Olivia's scheduled short day at work because Lucy had night class and she was due to go and pick Noah up from day care, but when she told this to Grace, Grace had pleaded with her not to leave her.

Ed was on the phone with his eldest daughter when they had overheard what was going on and the two of them quickly agreed that Emily would go to Olivia's and collect things for them before going to get Noah and come over with him. Agreeing to this Grace went to shower and all this had been in the first fifteen minutes of being at home. But by the time that Emily and Noah had arrived they still hadn't heard the shower shut off and Olivia could see the worry etched all over Ed's face.

"She's been in there a while Liv" Fretted Ed.
"It's normal to take lengthy showers afterwards but why don't you Emily and Noah go and start on dinner and I'll go check on her"

When Olivia got to the bathroom, she could hear the faint sound of crying over the sound of the water and knocked on the door asking if should come in. Hearing Grace give her permission to enter she carefully went into the bathroom to see Grace sitting in the bathtub under the stream of the shower with her knees pulled to her chest crying. Carefully going over to her she turned off the shower and made sure to tell her everything that she was doing as she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body and then one around her hair before gently helping her up and out of the tub, then leading her through to her bedroom gently helping the numb girl to dry and dress.

"Your dad, Emily and Noah are making dinner if you're hungry, although Noah is probably just being a hinderance" Said Olivia gently towel drying Grace's hair.
"Not really my head hurts and I'm tired" Said Grace
"I'll go get you some painkillers and water then you can go to bed"

Pressing a kiss to Grace's head Olivia disappeared for five minutes before returning with the painkillers and the tall glass of water. After sure she took them Olivia made a move to leave her alone to get some rest, but Grace had stopped her asking her to stay until she fell asleep. Nodding she fished her cell out of her back pocket and lay on the bed, leaning against the headboard. She couldn't help but smile as Grace lay on her side facing her and cuddled into her the best as she could without touching her. Reading on her phone Olivia ran her fingers through Grace's hair as she unconsciously hummed the tune to red robin. It had been almost twenty minutes of Olivia humming and no other movement when Olivia was started out of her thoughts and her phone by Grace who she thought was asleep.

"Livvie can you text daddy to come here?" Asked Grace and of course Olivia did.
"Everything okay" Asked Ed appearing in the doorway to Grace's room in under a minute.
"Rollo daddy?" Requested Grace shyly.
"I'll get him down for you princess" Nodded Ed going to retrieve the girls very old stuffed bunny from the overhead shelf in her walk-in wardrobe.
"Sweetheart I have to go to work tomorrow but Ill come home as soon as I can" Explained Olivia Looking at Ed as they had their own silent conversation
"But you'll stay tomorrow night with Noah right…. please?"
"Sure I'll pick up the travel cot"
"NO he can stay with me tonight and tomorrow he's too big for that now and he did just move into a big boy bed at your house"
"Here you go princess" Said Ed finally finding Rollo and handing it over to her.
"Thank you, Daddy. Can you sit in your spot until I'm asleep?"
"Sure. King of the spot right" Grinned Ed sitting on the floor.
"With hearts on top"

Olivia smiled at the interaction and made a mental note to ask him about it later and went back to running her fingers through Grace's hair as she drifted off to sleep.

The next morning tired from the emotions of yesterday and waking up every few hours with Grace and Ed when Grace had a nightmare, Olivia had agreed to leave Noah with them for the day and left for work. It wasn't long before she had text him to say they had made an arrest and Tommy was now sitting in the cadge waiting to be transferred, before making some overdue phone calls. She was startled out of one of them calls by shouting coming from the squad-room and looked up to see Ed shouting at fin and them squaring up to each other. Quickly standing she left her office and stood between the two men.

"Ed…Ed…Eddie" Shouted Olivia finally getting his attention and placing her hands on his chest pushing him back slightly.
"Liv just five minutes please" Pleaded Ed
"You and I both know that's not a good idea and it's against procedure.
"Please Liv"
"Don't argue Ed, my office NOW"

Ignoring the on lookers she led Ed to her office and closed the door behind them. Olivia reached up to cup his cheek with her hand, her thumb gently caressing his skin as she looked him in the eye. It took him a minute but with slowing his breathing and concentrating on her touch and eyes he was able to calm himself down. Satisfied that he was calm she lowered him down, so they were sitting on the couch and intertwined their fingers together.

"Ed no matter what you want to do to him it wont help Gracie" Stated Olivia softly.
"I Know baby I know. But God Liv he took so much from her…. her virginity…...and she asked for Rollo and told me to sit in my spot for god sake she hasn't done that in five years"
"And together we will help her get through this. As for Rollo and your spot you going to tell me about that sweet little saying?"
"When she was three, she used to say I was king of the house. She started having nightmares and I sued to sit on the same spot every night until she was asleep. One night her and Emily were sharing a bed I can't remember why but Grace said I was king of the spot keeping her safe from the nightmares and Emily said with hearts on top because we showered each other with love. So every night that was our ritual from them on, a story for Grace, Emily was saying she was to big for them by then, then I'd kiss their foreheads goodnight we'd say it then I'd sit there in my spot till Grace fell asleep"
"You Ed tucker are a wonderful man and I love you"
"I love you too Olivia"