Window: Chapter One

Author's Note: This is my first ever story. I wrote it mostly for me, but if other people like it, the more the merrier. It was inspired by a Tumblr post I read about Chloe praying to Lucifer and the description of author ShroudedSilhouette's story.

Chloe, it's time." Dan even managed to look sympathetic when he said it, his eyes looking at her softly. She could tell it had taken him awhile to work up the nerve to approach her about it. She knew everyone was thinking it. A part of her even knew they were right. "It's been six months. You need to accept that it's time to get a new partner. The Lieutenant already said that I could be the one to work with you. Come on, Chloe. It'll be fun. And it'll be good for Trixie to see us spending time together."

Chloe had spent the last six months vehemently refusing to work with anyone in a partner capacity. Lucifer would throw a fit when he came back if he found her working with someone else. Because he would be coming back, she told herself. There's no way he could just abandon her. Not after what she had said to him. Not after their… Well, he would have called it a "moment."

"Chloe?" Dan's soft eyes became more concerned, his brow furrowing as the silence lengthened and she still hadn't responded to him.

"Fine." Since Lucifer would be coming back - he would - it would serve him right to find her working with Dan. It would drive him nuts. She almost smiled, a ghost of it touching her lips, as she pictured his eyes narrowing and the old insult forming on his lips, You're back with Detective Douche? she could hear him say.

Dan misread the slight upturn to the corner of her mouth, and relief flooded his expression. "Good. See? Fun. I actually have a case all lined up, a man stabbed three times in the back outside his apartment. Nothing taken, so not evidently a robbery…"

Chloe did her best to focus on the details of the case. She had, in her usual manner, thrown herself into her job as she tried to focus on anything other than the gaping hole Lucifer had left in her life when he went back to Hell. At first, she didn't believe it. She'd sat down on Lucifer's couch and waited for him to come home. Maze had arrived first, a few hours later. Her eyes had looked as red-rimmed as Chloe's own.

"Where's Lucifer?" she had demanded in the harsh way she always spoke to Chloe, the words coming out as if she were trying to punch someone with her voice alone.

"I don't know. He said he was going back to Hell. But he wouldn't." The tears started streaming down Chloe's cheeks again, a phenomena that had been happening off and on since he had left. "Would he?"

Maze, of course, hadn't answered. She'd just stared at her coldly and stormed out.

But it wasn't long afterwards that Amenadiel arrived.

"Maze told me that Lucifer left. Returned to Hell."

"That's what he said." The words sounded dead to Chloe's ears, the grief and tears stealing any inflection the words might have carried. Amenadiel's shoulders shrugged in a sympathetic sigh as he sat down next to her and embraced her.

"Oh, Chloe. I am so sorry." Even if he might no longer have had access to his angelic powers, there was something healing in his deep baritone voice. "What happened?"

And she told him. Maybe he'd picked up something from Linda about how to get people to open up to you, because the words were suddenly pouring out of her. About how she realized that she'd rather have Lucifer in her life, no matter what. About her finally admitting her feelings for him. She didn't mention the kiss, that felt too private, but she told him about how Lucifer's response was to tell her he was leaving anyway… How she had begged him not to go. Begged. And how, ultimately, she couldn't make him stay.

She'd fallen asleep crying into Amenadiel's shoulder. And he must have carried her home, because she'd woken up in her own bed.

Word must have gotten around that Lucifer had gone, because even when she'd gone back into work, no one had asked about Lucifer. Dan had looked at her with sad eyes, because even if he could be, as Lucifer put it, a Douche, Dan always had her best interest at heart and didn't want to see her hurting. But all he did was ask her how she was feeling and didn't press the issue when she told him she was great and ready to work. Even Ella, who clearly wanted to say something, had just hugged her and given her the latest update on the evidence she'd been examining. Chloe saw that Ella had put her cross necklace back on. She wondered what Lucifer would have thought about it. She'd left the lab quickly after that.

Since then, Linda had tried talking to her once or twice. Chloe had insisted she was fine, she was great. And Linda hadn't pressed any harder than that - she couldn't, after all, help someone who didn't want to be helped. And as for finding a new partner at work… Up until today, they'd suggested once or twice that someone go with her on this case or that one. But again, no one had ever pressed her when she said she was fine on her own.

But it had been six months.

Chloe arrived with Dan on the scene of the crime and ducked under the yellow crime scene tape. Ella was, of course, already there.

"Hey guys!" she greeted them, her smile somehow managing to make the LA sun seem even brighter. "Pretty messed up stuff here. Who stabs someone in the back? I mean, figuratively, too, but in this case literally. He was stabbed THREE times, even though the first one definitely had already killed him. Sliced right through his spinal cord. They didn't even take the knife, just left it sitting in his back. I'll check it for prints when I get back to the lab."

"Any witnesses?" Dan asked.

"Not to the murder itself," Ella shrugged. "One of his neighbors saw the body when he was leaving for work. He's over there, if you want to talk to him."

Chloe went over to the guy that Ella had indicated.

"Hi, I'm detective Chloe Decker. I was hoping you could answer a few questions for me." She managed a polite, professional smile at the man before her. He was wearing khakis and a striped polo shirt. It wasn't exactly casual wear, but it didn't scream office job, either.

"Ben Traiper. As I told the police, I was just trying to go to work and I saw John laying there with the knife in his back. Called 911 immediately. Don't know much else."

"Did you know John well?" Chloe made a mental note to find out the victim's last name. She glanced over and saw Dan talking to one of the other officers on the scene - he was probably gathering all of the victim's personal information.

"Not really. We just lived in the same building, you know? I used to see him with some girl most of the time, but I haven't seen her around in awhile. But I never really had any conversations with him. The only reason I know his name at all is because his mail once accidentally ended up in my box instead of his. Just one of those stupid ad magazines, but I thought it was polite to return it all the same."

"Right. Okay. Well, if you think of anything else, here's my card." She wondered if there was any chance this guy had anything to do with the murder. Had maybe wanted the guy's apartment, or his parking spot, or for some other reason… She hadn't realized how much she'd come to depend on Lucifer to find out what drove people until she didn't have him anymore. If he was around, he could have just asked Ben what he really desired and if it didn't have anything to do with the victim, that line of questioning would be cleared. Now she'd have to talk to the landlord, maybe other neighbors… And all that in addition to the girl that Ben had mentioned. She sighed as her chest panged at the thought of how pleased with himself Lucifer always looked when he discovered people's desires.

Would this ever get any easier?

Ella must have noticed the look on Chloe's face as she turned away from Ben, because suddenly Chloe found herself face-to-face with the other girl. Ella's face had taken on the unfamiliar solemn look it got when she was having a serious conversation about people's feelings.

"Chloe, I know you've been avoiding it, and I have too, honestly, but just so you know...if you ever want to talk, I'm here for you." She paused. "I miss him, too, you know."

For the first time, Chloe's stomach dropped with guilt instead of sorrow. She knew she missed Lucifer. More than she could bear, it felt like. She hadn't even taken the time to consider how Ella might feel.

"Oh, Ella, I'm so sorry. I've been so wrapped up in my own head. Are you doing okay?"

"I am. I just don't like seeing you look so sad all the time. And I'm sure that's not what he would have wanted, either, wherever he is. I can't act like I get why he left, because I don't, because, well, he always seemed REALLY into you, Chloe. So I can't even imagine how abandoned you must feel. Is there something I can do to help? A girl's day, maybe? I mean, I know I really messed up the bachelorette party, but a girl's day I could definitely do." Ella offered up a hopeful smile.

Well, Chloe didn't necessarily want a girl's day, but… "Sure," she agreed. After all, there was no reason to freeze out her friends. She needed to start moving on.

"Great! I'll pick you up tonight!"

"Are you sure you'll be alright with Trixie for an extra night?" Chloe asked Dan over the phone for the zillionth time that night. She'd felt bad, both for asking Dan and for cancelling a night with Trixie, but she did need to try and balance the relationships in her life. Her relationship with her daughter was obviously her most important one, but that didn't mean she couldn't also enjoy time with her friends. And she hadn't spent any time with friends in awhile.

"Of course! We're going to eat chocolate cake to celebrate the occasion and everything. Go out and have fun. It'll be good for you. I already told Ella to make sure to take care of you and see to it that you get home in one piece."

"Thanks, Dan. Tell Trixie that I love her and I'll see her tomorrow."

They both said goodnight and hung up just as Ella rang Chloe's doorbell. When Chloe answered the door, however, Ella's expression went from bright smile immediately into a scowl.

"What?" Chloe asked.

"You cannot wear that." Chloe looked down at her sweat and jeans.

"Why not?"

"Why not? Because we are having a GIRLS night. We are going to go out, and get drinks, and we are going to look hot while doing so. Not look like frumpy moms."

"I AM a frumpy mom."

"Not tonight you aren't." Ella shoved her way into Chloe's room and started in on her closet.

After a couple minutes of digging while Chloe watched from the bed, Ella suddenly shouted out "Ah-hah! Perfect!"

The outfit she had picked out must have been left behind by Maze, whom no one had seen since that night in Lucifer's penthouse. It was a little black dress strategically cut to show off the dips of the wearers' hips and was slit so high and dipped so low Chloe wondered if it actually counted as some sort of swimsuit.

"You're joking."

"Nope, you're gonna look hot." And, of, course, at Ella's delighted expression Chloe couldn't say no. So on went the dress.

And Ella was right. She did look hot.

They met up with Linda at a club downtown. Amenadiel had agreed to watch over Charlie for the night just like Dan had agreed to watch Trixie. Soon, all three of them were very drunk and dancing to the pulsing music on the dancefloor. And they were laughing, something Chloe hadn't done in a very long time. Not that she was thinking about that. She wasn't thinking about much of anything, really, with her thoughts sliding like oil over metal, lubricated by the alcohol. She thought more in bursts, smiling at Linda and Ella's smiling faces in turn, feeling her own body move to the music as if it was a part from herself, seeing the lights flash in a not-quite-dizzying manner.

And then she saw a man in a suit slip through the crowd. Just a brief glance. But she knew it wasn't Lucifer. And she was forcibly reminded that this wasn't Lux. If she was at Lux, maybe he would be there. He was always there. Wasn't he? No. He was gone. And even if she went there, he wouldn't be.

A sob broke past Chloe's lips and she tore her way out of the crowd, Ella and Linda following.

Her friends helped get her an Uber and got her back to her house. The driver kept giving them worried glances, but Linda's glare seemed to be fierce enough to keep him from voicing his questions. Ella continually rubbed her back until the sobs faded to silent tears.

They both invited themselves in and sat by her on her couch.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice hoarse. "I was having fun."

"It's okay, sweetie," Linda assured her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I... " It seemed as though the alcohol had loosened her lips as well as her thoughts. "I just miss him. And it hit me that we should have been at Lux, and he should have been there."

"Lucifer?" Linda asked. Chloe nodded. She couldn't say his name. She hadn't, actually. Not since the night he'd left.

"You know, when I miss my grandma, sometimes I'll pray to her. I know she can't really hear me, but it helps, you know? Just talking out loud to her, thinking about what she'd tell me? I know that Lucifer isn't dead, but you could always try it anyway," Ella said.

"What?" Again, the hoarse whisper. Pray? To Lucifer? She almost laughed. No one prayed to the Devil. Ella couldn't even appreciate the irony of her suggestion. But then again…

"Actually…" Linda spoke up. "That may not be a bad idea. It might… reach him. Somehow. Through the...vibes... of the universe." She looked at Chloe meaningfully. Ella, clueless to the true meaning but always an enthusiastic supported, agreed.

"Exactly!"

"I don't know. Maybe. Anyway, you guys should go. Thanks for taking me out tonight." Chloe made a valiant attempt at a watery smile.

"Alright. Well thanks for coming out with us, Chloe. We've really missed you."

"Yeah. And I'll see you tomorrow at work, okay?" Ella added.

And then they left.

Chloe sat on her couch for awhile, thinking about what they'd said. Pray. To Lucifer. Since he was an angel…. He might actually hear her. Maybe if he knew she still missed him… She couldn't even let herself finish that thought. But she couldn't stop the hope from springing up in her chest, making her feel alive for the first time in awhile. Sighing, and feeling silly, she got down in a kneeling position by her couch, closed her eyes, and put her hands together. Here goes nothing…

Lucifer?

Lucifer stopped dead in his tracks. He's been… well, enjoying wasn't quite the right word, was it?... experiencing, then? his usual walk through the cells in Hell. Letting the pad of his feet echo over the distant sounds of screaming that the doors didn't quite block out. Despite being surrounded, in a sense, by billions of beings, both humans and demons, Hell had a sort of oppressive loneliness that could be felt like a heavy air pressure. One could almost feel it as a physical sensation against the skin.

Lucifer? Are you there? This feels weird. Okay, uhm, so… Well, it's me. And I thought, well, you're not here, so clearly you don't want to be, but, you know, I miss you. I miss you so much. And it wasn't really fair of you to leave. Because, well, we're partners. And you kind of left me hanging. And Trixie misses you.

Who was talking to him? No one had ever prayed to him before. He was, after all, the Devil. He wasn't the one people prayed to. And when had he ever had a partner? And why did this person think he knew a Trixie? He might have, he supposed. It was a hooker's name, and he'd certainly met his fair share of those…

Do you know how hard it was? Explaining to Trixie that you weren't coming back?

Yes, he supposed one of his lovers would miss him. He was, after all, wonderful in bed. Still, the thought didn't bring the same self-satisfaction it normally carried. He was too, well, concerned by the obvious misery in the voice praying to him. Which was ridiculous, of course. He was the DEVIL. He didn't get concerned about the feeling of humans. He never had before, anyway.

Anyway. Maze left, too. No one's seen her. Amenadiel tried to find her after a while, once we realized she wasn't coming back, but it turns out she's as good at disappearing herself as she was at finding other people who'd disappeared.

The voice knew Mazikeen? And Amenadiel? Was one of his sister's praying to him? But no… Lucifer would have known it was one of them.

Charlie's doing good. He and Trixie hang out sometimes. Dan and I are working together again. We just started a new case, someone got stabbed in the back. I'm sure you would have found it boring since it had nothing to do with you.

Lucifer waited, frozen in place, hardly breathing. For a moment, it felt like the voice was the only real thing in the entire universe.

I miss you. I know I already said that, but it's still true. Lucifer. Amen… I guess.

Lucifer stayed motionless. The voice sounded so familiar, but he couldn't place it. And yet, his chest ached at the pain in it. He didn't even know his chest could ache like that. He was an angel, the Devil, he was not human. He didn't suffer from anything as trivial as sympathy.

And yet.

Lucifer started walking again, shaking himself. He'd had no idea what most of that even meant. He'd just put it out of his mind. It's not like he'd ever hear from the voice again. It was better to just forget.