This is the first of the What Really Happened Series. Enjoy the uncensored truth!
Into (classic Star Wars rolling text)
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
With only 2 Sith in the galaxy, Emperor Palpatine worries for the legacy of his kind. He sends Lord Vader to find and train promising recruits for New Sith Order. His plans are halted when the Wookiees rebelled. When the Imperial Forces landed, they discovered a Jedi… and his son! Darth Vader killed the Jedi and took the son. Years later, the child, now known as Starkiller, training nearly complete, will be shown to the Emperor, who will complete his training…
(a landing shuttle approaches the Executor. The craft lands and out comes the Emperor, flanked by his guards. Only Vader waits for him. )
Palpatine: How is the boy?
Vader: He is strong. He will make an excellent Sith.
Palpatine: Summon him.
Vader: Yes, master.
(Starkiller exits the nearest elevator and kneels)
Starkiller: Master Vader?
Vader: What?
Starkiller: Master Vader?
Vader: What did you just call me?
Starkiller: Master Vader?
Vader: Don't make fun of me!
Starkiller: Master Vader?
Vader: Not my fault I can't get a girl!
Starkiller: Master Vader?
Vader: How did you know? How did you see me?
Starkiller: Master Vader?
Vader: (starts crying)
Starkiller: (finally getting it) Oh! (In his head :) It sounds like… (out loud, by accident) "masturbator! "
Vader: (stabs Starkiller, Force grips him to fling him around, and sends him flying out into space)
Palpatine: I think he was calling you his master, not a masturbator.
Vader: Oh.
Palpatine: I'm surprised you still have a cock to do that with.
Vader: I do not!
Palpatine: You practically admitted it!
Vader: Did not!
Palpatine: Did too!
Vader: Did not!
Palpatine: Did too!
(fade to black)
This has been a Marek Intan production!