FYI: I'm not exactly a Twilight fan, but I have read the books.
Chapter 1: Bella is Miserable (Is that anything new?)
It was a Sunday morning and, as usual, Bella had tripped over the stairs and was now feeling bad for herself.
"Why does everything happen to me?" She cried. "I'm going to go visit Edward. I can't bear to be away from him for more than an hour."
So, after checking her cell phone messages, all of which were from Jake, and ignoring his desperate pleas to hang out, she jumped in her truck and drove to Edwards. There was an unfamiliar sports car in the driveway. She rolled her eyes, vampires and their cars. Edward probably got a new one. Again. She knocked and when there was no answer so she pushed open the door to the Cullen's house. She heard voices in Edward's room upstairs so she walked up and opened the door. Edward and a beautiful strawberry blonde, who had to be Tanya, were kissing on Edwards's bed.
"EDWARD! How could you? SCREW YOU!" Bella screamed.
Edward gasped and Tanya smirked. "Bella! Don't talk about… uh…you-know-what-stuff…that way!"
"What are you talking about? I didn't say anything!"
"Yes you did you said," Edward lowered his voice to a whisper, "screw you."
" Whatever. You are such a prude. We are so over Edward. I am going to get back at you for this. And tell you stupid brother Jasper he looks like a freak with all his scars and that Emmet scares the hell out of me with his gorilla looks."
Bella went home and cried and cried and cried. The world hated her. Everyone hated her. Her phone rang and she picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Hey it's Jake. Do you want to hang out tonight?"
"Jake you are so insensitive. You should have known that I'm going through a tough time right now."
"How could I have known? Oh, I mean you are right, Bella. I am so sorry. I need to tell you that I…I LOVE YOU!"
"Jake, you are such a jerk. How could you say that? And Edward's my guy, not now, not ever you." Bella hung up the phone. People are so insensitive, she thought, and Bella cried herself to sleep.
Await Chapter Two:
Edward Feels Really Bad and Goes to the Volturi to Kill Himself (That's not predictable at all.)
and the Beginning of Badass Bella