Wings of Wax
"Icarus."
Mal jumped and spun on his heel, his hand on his hip holster. "Ain't a good idea to go sneakin' up on folk like that, Little Witch. Specially not folk that make a habit of carryin' guns."
River took Mal's wrist and pulled his hand away from the holster. "No touching guns." She laid his hand palm-up in hers and tilted her head to one side. "Heart line, life line. Both broken." She traced the creases with her index finger. "We could recarve them. Your hands are made of wax."
Mal didn't bother to ask what she was talking about; when River was in a mood like this, wasn't any point in wasting the air.
"Mal is Latin for bad, but only ghosts remember. Mala is apple." She let go of his hand to trace the lines in her own palm. "Don't despair, Captain. The line of my head is fractured."
"Most sensical thing that girl's said in weeks." Jayne ducked his head as he came through the door onto the bridge. "Heard we got us a job."
"Yep. Verbena."
"What're we haulin'?"
"Don't rightly know. Guy's some contact of Badger's, and the man's a mite squirrelfish. Reckon we'll find out when we get there."
"Fault lines." River looked pointedly from Mal to Jayne, but neither man could discern what her point was. "But whose fault?"
"If I'd'a wanted riddles, girl, I'd'a got me a book of 'em last time we set down. Least they's got all the answers in the back." He turned to Mal and shook his head. When he looked back, River was gone.
"Downright eerie, the way that girl just disappears like that. I'm thinkin' she ain't quite human. Maybe she's a ghost or something. Or a—a—whatsit, them ghosts that go movin' stuff around."
"Yes, Jayne, we have a poltergeist on board." Wash came in and sat down in the pilot's seat. "Better be nice or Vera might just shoot a hole through you all by herself."
"Vera wouldn't turn against me."
"Nice of you to come fly my boat so's I can do some business." Mal folded his arms and leaned back against a console.
"Sorry, Mal, me and Zoe were—we were snuggling."
Mal held up a hand. "That's all I reckon we need to hear, Wash. Just take us to Verbena."
"Verbena? You mean we got a job on that raggedy dustball of a moon?"
"Yeah, got us a job, and it pays good too."
"What's the cargo?"
"Don't know, don't much care. For five hundred twenty-five plat, don't need to care, though I've been assured it ain't gonna do us harm."
"Five twenty-five platinum?" Wash whistled.
"I wouldn't'a figured they got that much platinum, moon like that," Jayne said. "You sure it ain't somethin's gonna get us blowed up?"
"Five hundred twenty-five platinum," Mal repeated.
"You's the one told me we don't get paid if we're dead
"You sound scared. Do you want to hold Rex?" Wash held a plastic T. rex out to Jayne.
Jayne smacked Wash's hand away. "Shut up, gorramit. I ain't scared."
River tiptoed into the engine room. Kaylee was lying beneath Serenity's throbbing heart, a wrench in one hand and pliers in the other.
"Leonardo in the Sistine Chapel," River murmured.
Kaylee scooted out from under the engine, still on her back, and looked up at River. "What's the Sixteenth Chapel?"
"A myth of Earth-That-Was: Leonardo da Vinci painted the Sistine Chapel. The master lay on his back for months to paint the ceiling of the monstrous church." She put her hand on the side of the rotating engine, letting the vibrations and the warmth travel up her arms and spread through her body. Grounded. She felt grounded. Grounding rods, grounding wires, ground water, ground troops, ground beef. The word became nothing to her, a sound lacking meaning, a noise in the vacuum. River closed her eyes and let Serenity become her, its beating heart her own.
Kaylee peered at River's face. "You all right?"
River opened her eyes. She looked at the engine, then at Kaylee. "She's molting."
"Molting? Ain't that like shedding?"
"Like shedding," River agreed. She nodded, and her hair fell over her face like a dark veil.
Kaylee checked over the engine, tugging gently at bolts and wires to make sure nothing was loose. "She looks all right, and she's running smooth." She patted the engine. "That's my good girl."
River pulled a loose hair off Kaylee's sleeve. "You're shedding."
They set down on Verbena the next morning. As advertised, it was a barren, dusty chunk of rock. They docked in Sutherlin, the main city.
"Our man's in a hurry to get his goods off-world," Mal told his crew over breakfast. "We pick up the cargo and we get out. I want y'all stayin' on the boat."
"But, Cap'n," Kaylee said, "she's gotta have a new—"
"Not here. I 'spect we can get better parts where we're droppin' this cargo."
"And where will that be?" Simon asked.
"Sihnon." Mal stood up. "Zoe, Doc, you're with me. Rest of y'all, stay put."
Sihnon. Inara felt like her body wanted to shiver, but she didn't dare. She didn't need to look up to feel the crew's eyes on her already. They knew she had left Sihnon and wasn't much interested in going back. They didn't know why, or how desperate her flight from there had been—still was.
The one place in the 'verse she'd never wanted to see again. The world itself she missed, as it held lovely memories of her childhood and her apprenticeship in the training house. It was a small number of people there that polluted the whole of Sihnon for her.
Inara shook herself: mental discipline. A Companion must maintain control over her mind at all times. She made herself smile with her whole face.
She wouldn't have to let anyone know she was on Sihnon, she thought. She could afford not to take any clients for a while, and she knew Mal wouldn't want to stay long. On a central planet, he'd want to get in and out as quickly and quietly as possible. She could stay onboard Serenity and avoid the windows. No one would ever have to know.
Control, she reminded herself. Discipline.
"Why do I have to come along on this escapade?" Simon had to jog to keep up to Mal's quick pace.
"'Cause I'm the captain, and I said you're with me."
"I'm not usually welcome on your heists, unless someone's likely to get shot."
"Man said it might be of use havin' a doctor around. I told him I got one to spare."
Simon knew better than to protest being something to spare. "But why? What could they possibly want me for? I'm no petty crook."
Mal shrugged. "Don't rightly know, son. How's about you just shut up and do what I say?"
Right." Simon bit his tongue, following Mal and Zoe through the streets of Sutherlin.
"That's what you want me to smuggle to Sihnon?" Mal was surprised, but it didn't stop him from talking. "Who—where'd it come—never mind. Just that I never dealt in this stuff before."
Simon was gaping at the coolers at his feet. Inside were human organs—a heart and two lungs, all in excellent health. Apart from the fact they were no longer connected to their original owner, that was.
"Who was the donor?" Simon tried to act nonchalant.
"Don't ask questions, son," Mal said. "Ain't our concern, long as you can keep 'em alive to Sihnon."
"I have life support equipment," Simon said, "but it really isn't set up for…disembodied organs. I'd have to make some modifications."
"Can you do it quick enough to keep 'em on ice till you're done?"
"I think so, but I'm not sure. There's a very narrow window of transplantability of human organs."
"I'll take that gamble," said Redden, their contact. "My brother's like to die 'fore the Alliance gets him a new set. Was their own chemicals what did it to him, and they'd let him die."
"Stiff penalties if we get caught transporting human organs, sir," Zoe said quietly. "Especially without any papers on 'em."
"But Kaylee's been whinin' at me for weeks 'bout some new engine part she wants, and I'd sure like to eat in the future. Five twenty-five is a lot."
"Just don't know if it's worth the risk," Zoe said.
"An innocent man will die if you don't," Simon said.
"And he's just about as like to die if I do," Mal said. He looked at the man, then at the unbeating heart in the cooler. It was something he'd never seen before despite all the deaths he'd seen. He didn't admit it, but the heart fascinated him. "Fine. Done."
The Man shook Mal's hand, then Simon's. "Man name of Jack Wilson'll meet you at the Houzi Dockyard on Sihnon, and he'll take it from there." He handed Mal a sack of money. "That's half, and Wilson'll give you the other half when you deliver the goods."
"Last thing we need's to get throwed in some Alliance jail for havin' some dead guy's guts in our hold." Jayne stabbed a piece of protein with his knife and stuck it in his mouth. "Prob'ly got them innards from some guy he slashed up."
"There is a moral question if we don't know where the organs came from," Book said.
"Not gonna be so much of a moral question when we're starvin' to death," Mal said.
"I figure we're going to hell anyway," Wash said with a grin. Zoe glared at him, and Shepherd Book gave him a disapproving look.
"But if we didn't take 'em, that guy on Sihnon would die." Kaylee looked over at Simon. "Right?"
"Yes. He has a disorder called Russell's Disease, where the body's immune system eats away at its own organs. It's caused by exposure to MQ-179, a chemical weapon the Alliance tested during the war."
"Didn't kill people fast enough," Zoe said. "Word is the scientists who formulated it are dying now."
"So, you sayin' this guy we're taking these guts to was some gorram Alliance scientist?" Jayne said.
The room lapsed into silence.
"I hadn't considered that," Simon said, "but yes, it's a possibility."
There was another uncomfortable silence, one in which the crew all made a point of not looking at Mal.
"Y'all like eatin', right?" Mal said. "And keepin' this boat in the air?"
There were nods all around the table.
"Then this discussion's over. We're getting' paid a nice sum for this job, and it ain't easy keepin' gainfully employed."
"I don't think anything we've done could be considered gainful employment," Wash said.
"You're Daedalus," River informed him. "And you're Icarus," she told Mal.
"I'm a mythic figure now," Wash said. "Hey, wife, I've been promoted from petty criminal status to mythic status."
"Daedalus got locked up in a giant maze with a monster, dear."
"Mazes are fun."
"Till you get ate by the big monster." Jayne shoveled rice into his mouth.
River screamed. She could feel Serenity trembling, shuddering. She felt the ship tearing apart, and she felt its pain from the tongues of flame that licked at its skin. She saw Serenity convulse once more and then explode. She screamed.
"Molting! Falling into the sea. Hubris. Icarus falls!"
"Kao," Mal muttered. "Just what I need."
"Bizui!" Jayne snapped.
"Mei-mei, it's all right." Simon put his arms around River's shoulders. "Shh. Everything's fine."
"No, too close to the sun!"
"We're not near a sun," Wash said.
"Dope her," Mal said. "Can't have this commotion on my boat. I was plannin' on sleepin' tonight, and I ain't gonna be happy if she keeps me from it."
Simon didn't argue; he took River's hand and led her to the infirmary. "It's all right." He drew up an injection for her.
"Simon, Icarus is falling." River was crying.
"No, mei-mei, that's just an old story. It's not true," he said. "Give me your arm."
"I don't want to sleep." More tears welled in her eyes. "O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams."
"It's all right. The medicine will make you better." He eased the needle into the soft skin of his sister's forearm, noticing her pale fragility. He knew it wouldn't make her better for long, and he didn't need to be a reader to know that River knew as well. "There."
"Hamlet's dreams killed him, Simon." River clung to his arm. "Icarus sleeps without dreams, but he will still die."
"Shh, it's all right." He petted her hair. "No one is going to die."
Inara was pacing the catwalk above the cargo bay. Not for the first time, her shuttle felt claustrophobic and airless. She needed space, and the cargo bay was Serenity's largest open area.
She felt as though Sihnon was pulling her in, a moth to the light. She wanted so badly to go back, to see the places she'd loved, to drink tea and reminisce with old friends. She knew better, though. She'd been taught to sing the siren's song, so she knew better than to fall for it. She reckoned Sihnon must be visible by now, its image growing larger every minute. She stayed away from the windows.
"You ain't been back, have you?"
Inara looked down. Kaylee was in the cargo bay below her, digging through a crate of salvaged engine parts.
"No, I haven't."
Kaylee bounded up the stairs, cradling the pieces of machinery in her arms like most women would hold a baby. "Why not? Don'tcha ever miss it?"
"Sometimes." Inara inspected Kaylee's engine parts; they were old and well-used. "Has something broken down again?"
"Oh, nothin' much. Rotor's just getting' awful worn, and some of the gears are getting' ground down."
"Are we going to explode?" Inara smiled.
"Oh, nah, nothin' like that." Kaylee grinned. "She just needs a little love to keep her goin'." She looked at Inara. "You wanna come help me?" I could use a hand keepin' up with all the screws and bolts and all."
Inara recognized the diversion for what it was, and she loved Kaylee all the more for it. "Yes. I'd like that."
Kaylee called out the names of tools, and Inara handed them to her. Occasionally Inara had to ask for a description of a tool, but she was familiar with most of them.
"Whatcha gonna do when we get there?"
"I'm not sure." Inara answered honestly; she wouldn't lie to Kaylee, not about this. "Hide, probably."
"Won't be long," Kaylee said. "Should be enterin' atmo in about 15 minutes."
Inara nodded, but Kaylee was under the engine and didn't see.
Simon stood between his sister and the organs. River was asleep on one of the beds, and the improvised cryo/life-support unit occupied the other.
He watched the lungs inflate and deflate, rhythmically, until he realized his breathing matched the machine's. He watched the heart pumping saline solution through plastic tubing. It didn't know there were no veins and no blood. The heart knows nothing.
He watched River sleeping. She was dreaming, he knew. Her eyes darted back and forth under almost-translucent eyelids, and her lips moved like she was trying to speak but had forgotten how.
The ship jerked violently, throwing River out of bed and tossing Simon across the infirmary. River was too drugged to scream, but she murmured the same words over and over.
"Icarus, molting."
"Tama de!" Mal grabbed a comm. unit microphone. "Wash, Kaylee, what in the name of gou cao de Laotian ye just happened?"
"It's all shiny, Cap'n."
"Hate to alarm anybody, but I think we're 'bout to die again."
The whole ship was shuddering. Mal ran to the bridge. "What's happenin' to my boat?"
"No idea, Captain, but blowin' up might happen in the near future."
"Don't crash her." He hurried to the engine room, hollering all the way. "Kaylee! Kaylee, why's my ship gonna blow?"
"Dunno, Cap'n, but I think I saw a chunk of wing go flyin' a minute ago." Kaylee was holding an engine part, looking bewildered.
Mal looked out the starboard window. Debris was floating in the engine's trail. Lots of debris. "Kao."
A large piece of wing tore loose and banged against the window before flying off into the black. The ship jerked again, then rolled several times. Mal smashed his head on the wall and passed out. Kaylee threw up. Book prayed, Simon swore and tried to keep the organs safe, Wash hit his head, Jayne grabbed the closest guns, and Inara tried to steady herself. Zoe and River both hurried to the bridge, followed by everyone else who was still conscious.
River sat down in the pilot's seat, closed her eyes, and grasped the controls. "I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."
Book stood behind River. His head was bowed, but he knew how to be reverent and watchful at the same time. "Pater noster, qui est in caelis…."
River managed to stabilize Serenity's descent and set her down at the Houzi Docks. Zoe tended to Wash as he came to, while Simon checked to make sure the heart and lungs were intact.
Mal came stumbling onto the bridge, holding his head. "Somebody land my boat, or did I die and go to hell?"
"Either way, the paint job sucks," Wash said.
"Grounded, heart still beating, arm torn off like Grendel," River said. "O Captain, my Captain."
"Grounded's right." Kaylee came in behind Mal. "We try takin' off 'fore she's all fixed, we ain't gonna live too long. Gonna need a lotta repairs, poor girl."
"Best you go findin' supplies, then," Mal said. "Take 'Nara with you. Don't want any of y'all goin' out alone, world like this." He tossed Kaylee a small bag of money.
"I was planning to stay aboard Serenity," Inara said, shooting Mal a look.
"Nobody goes out alone, 'cept maybe you. Makes good sense, you escortin' little Kaylee."
Inara said nothing; she knew Mal was right, and she was irritated that her avoidance of conflict on Sihnon was exacerbating the conflict on Serenity.
"I'm gonna go check on the doc. Zoe and Jayne, you two'll be with me." He started to leave, then turned back to face River. "You stay on the boat."
She nodded. "Grounded."
"Right." Mal stalked off to the infirmary. "How're the innards, Doc?"
"Lungs are fine. Heart's a bit bruised, but it's hardly noticeable." Simon didn't look up from the organs.
"Good. Mind you keep 'em workin' right. Folks tend to get a mite angry when you deprive 'em of their lives and tell 'em beforehand."
Inara and Kaylee walked side by side down the streets of Sihnon. Inara wasn't very familiar with this part of the world; it was a less classy neighborhood than she was accustomed to. Furthermore, she knew nothing about buying salvaged parts for spacecraft.
"Look for a junkyard," Kaylee said. "We need lots of sheet metal."
"Metal. Got it. I'll keep an eye out."
Mal, Zoe, and Jayne found the establishment where they were to meet with the buyer. It was a disreputable-looking bar, not much different than most of the places where they met buyers.
"You always take me to the nicest places." Zoe ducked to avoid being hit by a flying sake bottle.
"I read it in a book: How to Impress Womenfolk."
"Really?" Jayne grunted. "What chapter ya on?"
"Preface."
Two men slid into empty seats at the table. One was past 50, thin and sickly-looking; the other was Jayne's age, well-dressed and soft-skinned.
"Mr. Reynolds, I presume?" the younger man said.
Mal nodded.
"I'm Quincy," he said. "This is Jack Wilson."
Mal nodded again. "I understand you might be lookin' to buy some goods I got possession of."
"That's right," Quincy said.
"It's important," Wilson wheezed, "they're in pristine condition."
"Guaranteed," Mal said. "Assuming you got my 600 platinum."
Zoe made a point of looking unsurprised.
"The agreed-upon price was 525," Quincy said.
""Price quoted to me was 560," Mal said. "Ran into some complications on the way, near didn't make it at all. Reckon we're entitled to a little extra compensation."
Jayne took a swig of beer. Zoe watched coolly, cutting her eyes between her captain and the buyers.
"We agreed on 525," Quincy repeated.
Wilson tapped his shoulder and whispered in his ear.
"We can do 575," Quincy said. "No more."
Mal leaned back in his chair and paused for several moments. "Well, we'll be takin' a loss, countin' all the damage to my ship, but I s'pose we can do it."
"Fine. We'll meet you at the waterfront, dock 19, tonight at ten."
"You'll have the money," Zoe said, not asking a question.
"If you have the goods."
"Good. Done." Mal stood up, and Jayne and Zoe followed his lead. They walked about 500 feet without speaking.
"You're not gonna sell them to him, are you, sir?" Zoe said.
"Why the gorram hell not?" Jayne growled. "Got 50 plat more outta him than we was s'posed to."
"'Cause he's got a lot of blood on his hands," Zoe said.
"Somethin' I oughtta be knowin' 'bout this gentleman, Zoe?"
"Oughtta remember him from the Valley, sir. He ran the DP camp, and word is he was in charge of the Zyklon-D experiments too." Zoe's expression was unreadable. "Went by a different name back then. Major General Haskins."
Mal frowned for a minute before a look of recognition crossed his face. "Hun dan sure aged quick."
"They say Zyklon-D does that to a man."
"Wait, we're gonna sell them innards to a gorram purplebelly?" Jayne said. "Hell, Mal, that's like savin' his life or somethin'!"
Mal just kept walking.
When they arrived back at the ship, Book was helping Kaylee rivet sheet metal onto the framework of what had been Serenity's starboard wing. They were both sweaty, hands and faces streaked with grease and dust.
"Kaylee, how soon can you get us in the air?"
"Not for two or three days, Cap'n. Look at her." Kaylee gestured at the damage to the hull. "She's a wreck, poor girl."
"Don't got that long." Mal hooked his thumbs in his belt loops. "Gotta be off this rock ASAP." Without explanation, he stalked onto the ship. Kaylee and Book followed him into the dining area, where Wash and Simon were sitting.
"We ain't doin' the job?" Kaylee asked.
Simon snapped his head up but managed to keep his mouth shut. He looked up at Mal. Everyone in the room was watching him.
"We ain't doin' the job," Mal said, crossing his arms. "Buyer's a purplebelly. Killed more of my men than any other."
"Refusing to give this man the organs is tantamount to murder," Shepherd Book said.
"Didn't hear you moralizin' 'bout the man likely got killed to get those organs, Preacher."
"Man was already dead; nothing I could do to change that. But we can prevent another man's death."
"He's a gorram purplebelly."
"Men change. All life is sacred."
"He took a lot of sacred lives, Shepherd," Zoe said. "Led the experiments with Zyklon-D."
"Zyklon-D?" Simon gaped. "It killed 7 million people during the war. It was first used on Shadow, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, Shadow." Mal jammed his hands deep into his pockets. "Let him die."
"We need the money." Kaylee studied the floor as she spoke. "Repairs don't come cheap, ya know, and she got tore up real bad this time. Spent all I had on her."
"Men change," Book said again. "It's been a while since the war. Likely he's a different man now than he was when you knew him."
Zoe crossed her arms.
"Men like that don't change, Shepherd."
Shepherd Book bowed his head. "But for the grace of God, there go I," he murmured.
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust." River traced an infinity sign on the tabletop. "And all the days of his life were sixty-four years, and he begat no sons."
"What is it, River?" Kaylee asked.
"He's going to die," Simon said.
River spoke softly, and everyone leaned forward to hear her. "His secrets are eating him up from inside." She looked into Shepherd Book's eyes. "Confession is good for the soul."
"Long-term exposure to Zyklon-D wreaks havoc on the body," Simon said. "We started seeing it at the hospital about six months before I left. It alters the structure of DNA. Once the heart and lungs start to fail, it's only a matter of time. A transplant may slow the progression, but there's no cure."
"How long, after the transplant?"
"Two years, maybe three."
There was a long lapse of silence, and everyone but River made a point of looking down at the tabletop. River looked into each face in turn.
Mal lifted his head. "Guess I can live with that."
As Serenity lifted off after delivering the organs and making repairs, Wash and Kaylee both held their breath, and Zoe watched the gauges on Wash's console. Inara watched Sihnon drop away outside the window. Mal counted the money, and Jayne waited for his cut. Simon wondered whether to feel vindicated or ashamed, while Book kept silent vigil in his bunk. River slept soundly in her narrow bed.