Batgirl, The Joker's Girlfriend

by Windrises

The Joker plans on pretending to be a reformed citizen and Batgirl's boyfriend, to troll Batman. Batgirl plans on going along with it, to make Batman jealous.

Note: Batman is owned by DC Comics and was created by writer Bill Finger and artist Bob Kane. The Joker was created by the previously mentioned men, along with Jerry Robinson. Barbara Gordon was created by Carmine Infantino, Julius Schwartz, and William Dozier.

One night, Batman had captured his arch-enemy, the Joker. In order to stop the clown prince of crime, Batman had help, from Batgirl. At the time, Batman had no sidekicks and very few people he could trust, aside from Alfred Pennyworth and Commissioner Gordon. Because of that, Batman often relied on Batgirl's help.

Batman considered Batgirl, to be his crimefighting partner and one of his dearest friends. However, Batgirl thought their relationship was something deeper. She had always admired Batman, before she ever became Batgirl and after working with him, she gained a crush on him.

Batman and Batgirl had defeated the Joker. They both thought he was passed-out, but the Joker was still awake enough, to hear some of their words. Batman looked at Batgirl and said, "Thank you, for helping me defeat the Joker. You've been a terrific help, in my recent adventures and I really appreciate it."

Batgirl replied, "You're welcome. I'm glad we can be partners, in this battle against crime."

Batman said, "You've been my most helpful partner, old chum."

Batgirl raised an eyebrow and asked, "Old chum? Is that your idea, of an affectionate nickname?"

Batman answered, "You could say that."

Batgirl replied, "Frankly, I think I deserve a more affectionate nickname."

Batman asked, "What did you have in mind?"

Batgirl smiled and said, "I have a few ideas, including honey, sweetie, cutie, and darling."

Batman had already noticed, that Batgirl had feelings for him. However, it was a topic he tried to avoid discussing. He had been hoping, that Batgirl's crush would fade away. He feared, that a relationship between them, could negatively affect his adventure-obsessed mind. Batman stared at Batgirl, while saying, "I'm not going to call you, by such lovey-dovey nicknames. I care about you, which is why I want to keep you out of my personal life. Frankly, I don't know if I have a personal life."

Batgirl replied, "But I like you and deep down, I suspect you feel the same way."

Batman sternly responded, "You need to stop talking about this. You're my crimefighting partner and a friend, nothing more." Batman grabbed the Joker and started taking him to the police. The Joker heard Batgirl trying to flirt with Batman, which he thought could be useful, for his next scheme.

A few months later, Barbara Gordon was visiting the library, that she used to be the librarian of. While there, she noticed the librarian had gotten a TV. She looked amused, while saying, "I guess this library doesn't care about being quiet, anymore."

Suddenly, the Riddler appeared on the TV screen. He said, "Greetings, citizens of Gotham. For years, I've been arrested, whenever I try to show off my brilliance and cleverness. Because of that, it's about time the police get captured, rather than Gotham's smartest and most unique citizens, such as myself." He showed off a cage, which was decorated in question marks and riddles. Commissioner Gordon was in the cage. Barbara got on her Batgirl costume and started heading towards the Riddler's lair.

A few minutes later, the Riddler's front door was starting to be fiddled with, thanks to a crowbar. The Riddler put his hand on his chin, while saying, "It appears Batman has arrived."

Instead of Batman or Batgirl breaking in, the Joker burst into the Riddler's hideout. The Riddler had a confounded look on his face, while the Joker approached him and said, "You better release Commissioner Gordon, you riddle fanboy."

The Riddler asked, "What kind of joke are you trying to do, Joker?"

The Joker answered, "I've come, to get Commissioner Gordon free and to have you sent back to Arkham Asylum."

The Riddler pointed to Joker, while saying, "You belong in Arkham Asylum, a lot more than I do." The Riddler tried to used his cane, to smack the Joker. However, Joker threw some sharp cards, which hurt Riddler's arms.

The Joker said, "I'm going to make you lose, riddle-boy." Joker grabbed Riddler and started attacking him. The Riddler tried to smack Joker around, but Joker had far better fighting skills.

A moment later, Batgirl came into the Riddler's hideout and saw Joker defeating the Riddler. The Riddler fell to the ground, while Joker broke the cage and freed Commissioner Gordon. He figured Gordon would have him sent back to Arkham Asylum, instead of thanking him, so the Joker started running outside.

Batgirl walked to Commissioner Gordon and asked, "Are you okay?"

Commissioner Gordon put handcuffs on Riddler, while saying, "Yes I am."

Batgirl asked, "Why did Joker defeat the Riddler and save you?"

Commissioner Gordon shrugged his shoulders and said, "Joker's the most confusing person, that Gotham has ever dealt with."

Batgirl walked inside and approached the Joker. The Joker straightened his bowtie, while saying, "Hi Batgirl. It's nice to see you."

Batgirl replied, "Joker, you're confusing me."

The Joker grinned, while saying, "Confusing people is my life's goal."

Batgirl asked, "Why did you save Commissioner Gordon. It's an admirable action, but you've never been fond of admirable actions, have you?"

The Joker answered, "I'm usually not, but when it comes to you, I want to make you happy. You see, I find you charming, kindhearted, pleasant, and every other positive term, that Batman is lacking. I noticed you always rush to Gordon's rescue, whenever he gets captured. He must be a father figure to you, which is why I wanted to save him."

Batgirl felt very confused, but Joker did the right thing, so she felt she couldn't be mad. She said, "Thank you."

The Joker replied, "Anytime, Ms. Batgirl." Joker kissed her glove and started running away, while laughing.

After getting back to his hideout, the Joker started prancing around, while ripping up riddles, that he found in Riddler's lair. The Joker said, "Batgirl's a sweet girl, but the problem with sweet people, is that they're too trusting and gullible, which is going to help me. I'll continue to do heroic deeds, to win Batgirl's heart. That'll make Batman angrier at me, than ever before. Seeing Batman, at his most furious, will make my grin grow." He did an evil laugh.

The next day, Barbara Gordon returned to the library, to grab a book. However, she looked around and saw that the Joker was there. She was confused, while asking, "What's going on?"

The current librarian, Mr. McDowall said, "Don't worry, Ms. Gordon. The Joker hasn't come here, to steal any books or do any crimes. In fact, he's helping the library."

Barbara replied, "Mr. McDowall, don't be mad. The Joker is Gotham's most infamous criminal. He would never do a good deed."

The Joker had a smug smile on his face, while saying, "I love proving people wrong. You see, I've had a change of heart, thanks to Batgirl. She's often been reported, near this library. Most people don't know why she keeps being spotted here, but I know it involves books. Batgirl has always been so smart. In fact, she might be smarter than Batman."

Barbara responded, "Get real, Joker. Batgirl couldn't be smarter than Batman." Deep down, Barbara was flattered, to be called smarter than Batman.

The Joker said, "I've donated a five-thousand-dollar check, to this lovely library. Since Batgirl is so fond of this particular library, I think she'll appreciate the gesture."

The next day, the Penguin broke into Gotham's museum, because he heard the museum had a penguin-shaped statue. After strolling through the museum, he found the statue. It was silver and looked like a penguin. Penguin examined the statue, while saying, "This statue is true art, unlike a lot of this museum's pretentious pantings." He gently grabbed the statue, while saying, "This statue will shine brightly, in my eloquent hideout."

Batgirl faced the Penguin and said, "That's not going to happen, you bird-obsessed maniac."

The Penguin wanted to have a dignified, respectable reputation, so being called crazy offended him. He said, "I'm of a higher class, than the looney villains, that you and Batman fight. Speaking of that, I'd rather fight Batman, than fight you, because you aren't a royal threat."

The Joker stepped out of the shadows and replied, "Don't underestimate Batgirl, pengy-wengy. She's one of the highest-ranking heroes, that you could ever come across. In fact, fighting her is a bigger honor, than fighting the Batman."

The Penguin replied, "Stop talking such nonsense, Joker."

Batgirl started punching and kicking Penguin. Penguin tried to fight back, but he wasn't able to hurt Batgirl. Batgirl had a confident look on her face, while saying, "You might as well give up, you evil bird. There's no way, that you could beat me up."

The Penguin smiled, while saying, "While that might be true, you won't be able to stop me and save the statue." Penguin started loosening his grip, while saying, "I could let the statue fall to the ground. Although I'd love to keep it, I'm willing to break it, in order to escape you."

Batgirl looked confounded, when it came to finding a way, to stop the Penguin, without losing the statue. Thankfully, the Joker took the statue and said, "Now, Batgirl can defeat you, without the statue being in trouble." Batgirl continued fighting the Penguin. Penguin tried to use his umbrella, to intimidate Batgirl. Although the umbrella had a few useful tricks, it failed to stop Batgirl. Batgirl punched Penguin, who waddled to the ground.

After the Penguin got taken away, Batgirl and Joker roamed around the museum. Batgirl looked at Joker and said, "Thank you, for helping me stop the Penguin. You've been a tremendous help, in the past few days. It's confusing, but greatly appreciated."

The Joker replied, "I'm honored, to make your life better. When I'm around you, the sentimentality, that I thought was forever lost, comes out. You're the most amazing woman, that I've seen in years. I know you see me as a criminal, but if you stop seeing me that way and start appreciating the new me, I think we can form a beautiful bond."

Batgirl responded, "This is a very interesting offer, Joker. I used to think of you, as the most evil and dangerous person, that Batman had ever dealt with."

The Joker pretended to feel guilty, while saying, "I've been too hard on Batman, in recent years. I never really felt bad about it or questioned my own actions, until you came along. Your lighthearted determination, to make Gotham a more peaceful place, has inspired me. I want to be your partner, in fighting crime."

Batgirl thought about Joker's offer and replied, "That sounds great. I want to meet with you, so we can further discuss this matter."

The Joker responded, "You should come to my hideout, for a meeting."

Batgirl asked, "You'd be willing, to give me your hideout's address? Not even Batman knows where your current hideout is."

The Joker wrote the address, on a playing card. He handed the card to Batgirl and said, "I'll see you, tomorrow night." He started running out of the museum, while laughing.

The Joker thought he could trick Batgirl, by pretending to be a reformed man, but Batgirl wasn't as gullible, as Joker assumed she was. She knew Joker was making stuff up, so after getting home, she gave Batman a call.

Batman had been doing research in the Batcave, that was about the Joker. He was trying to find out Joker's reasoning, for defeating the Riddler and saving Commissioner Gordon. Batman answered the phone and said, "Hi Batgirl. What's going on?"

Batgirl replied, "I've had a peculiar couple of days, because of the Joker."

Batman responded, "I'm failing to comprehend, why Joker stopped the Riddler, unless those two have a rivalry."

Batgirl replied, "Today, Joker helped me defeat the Penguin."

Batman put his hand on his chin, while saying, "As crazy as Joker is, I can usually figure out his main plan. However, this time, I'm failing to find out, what that lunatic is after."

Batgirl replied, "Joker claims he's reformed."

Batman angrily responded, "That's garbage. Joker's more, than just a filthy liar. His lies are pathetically unbelievable."

Batgirl was planning on using Joker's scheme, to her advantage. She was still interested in dating Batman, so she thought he could make Batman jealous, by pretending to like the Joker. Batgirl said, "After seeing the Joker's recent behavior and actions, I think he's a changed man. He seems to have a special interest, in yours truly. He wants to meet with me, tomorrow night."

Batman replied, "Joker shouldn't push his luck. Tomorrow night, we'll go to his hideout and beat him up."

Batgirl responded, "I don't think we should do that. Instead, Joker and I are going to talk things over. Even though I knew the Joker was evil, I always found him charming, in a crazy way. Since he was so wicked, I never brought it up, but now that he's become a heroic citizen, my feelings are growing."

Batman sternly replied, "Stop saying such things, Batgirl. The Joker's the worst person, that you could ever be attracted to."

Batgirl responded, "The Joker is so charismatic and fun. My heart used to focus on you, but if you have so little interest in me, I guess Joker will be having my detention."

After getting off the phone, Batman told Alfred Pennyworth, about his crazy predicament. Batman said, "Batgirl must not flirt with the Joker, for any reason."

Alfred jokingly replied, "You're quite the jealous bat, aren't you?"

Batman gave Alfred a disapproving look, while saying, "This isn't a jokey situation. Joker's pretending to be interested in Batgirl, to troll me and Batgirl's pretending to like Joker, to make me jealous. I care about Batgirl, but she's being petty, as well as immature. Flirting with Penguin or Riddler would be bad, but flirting with Joker is the scariest person, that anybody could ever blow a kiss to. It's up to me, to be Gotham's bravest hero, but this time, I'm scared. If Joker put another of my friends in danger, I'd always be mad at him, as well as myself."

Alfred put his hand on Batman's shoulder and replied, "I believe in you."

Batman responded, "Thank you, old chum."

The next night, Joker decorated his lair, so it would be suitable, for his date with Batgirl. He put away a bunch of his violence-themed posters and decorations and replaced it, with newspaper clippings of Batgirl, as well as other bat-themed decorations. Joker had a fancy table setup, along with a big dinner.

A few minutes later, Batgirl walked in. She flirtatiously posed in front of Joker's clown-house mirror, before facing Joker and said, "Greetings, puddin. It's a treat, to be visiting you lair."

The Joker straightened his tie, while saying, "Batgirl, as always, it's an incredible honor, to have your presence around. I'm usually the type of person, who likes to joke around. However, you're no joke. I usually question people's overly-serious attitudes, but when I gazed upon you, I realized I was having serious feelings."

Batgirl sat down and started eating. The Joker brushed his hair, while saying, "My hair looks great, but yours probably sparkles more. However, I haven't been able, to see a full look at your hair. If you slipped that mask off, I could get a better look."

Batgirl looked amused, while replying, "Wow, where are you manners? This is our first date and you already want to see my face? How hardcore."

The Joker chuckled, while saying, "When it comes to hardcore, I'm a regular cast member. I was just joking around, as usual. I would never expect you to remove the mask, so early. After we get to know one another better, perhaps I'll get to see the woman you truly are." Joker started holding hands with Batgirl.

Suddenly, Batgirl and Joker heard a bunch of noises. They both knew, that Batman had arrived. The Joker had an evil smile on his face, while saying, "It's time to make Batman be angrier, than ever before." He pulled Batgirl closer and pretended to kiss her.

Batman went inside and saw Joker, who was doing an unconvincing job, at looking like he was kissing Batgirl. In order to make Batman truly jealous, Batgirl kissed Joker's cheek. Batman grabbed the Joker and angrily said, "You're pathetic, Joker."

The Joker stubbornly replied, "No I'm not."

Batman kept his grip on Joker, while saying, "This time, you didn't have any sidekicks, hidden traps, master plans, or robberies."

The Joker replied, "I'm not like Penguin and Riddler, who just steal stuff and boast about their gimmicks. I'm your arch-enemy, because I make things personal. By getting Batgirl's attention, I made you angry and jealous."

Batman responded, "I've never been jealous of you, Joker. I'd rather leave this world, than be like you."

The Joker sarcastically said, "I appreciate the sentiment."

Batman started punching and kicking the Joker, while saying, "You didn't plan this out, did you? You have no weapons, no skills, and no backup plan. You did all this, because you were so overconfident, that you thought flirting with Batgirl would drive me crazy."

The Joker had a smug smile on his face, while saying, "She was the one, who did the cheek kiss. Your precious Batgirl could become my new Harley Quinn." He did an evil laugh, before Batman punched him in the face. The Joker was so amused by the situation, that he stopped caring, if he lost or not. Seeing Batman's intense anger was enough, to make him feel like he won.

After Batman gave Joker to the police, he and Batgirl talked, while in a nearby alley. Batgirl walked up to Batman and said, "You were jealous, weren't you?"

Batman replied, "I'm disappointed in you, Batgirl."

Batgirl had a confused look on her face, while asking, "What do you mean?"

Batman answered, "I know you were smart enough, to know the Joker was lying. He was never interested in you and you were never interested in him. You risked your safety, just to mess with me."

Batgirl slyly said, "Some things are more important than safety."

Batman sternly replied, "You acted irresponsible and reckless. I'm not surprised Joker did what he did, but you knew better and despite that, you didn't do the right thing."

Batgirl felt guilty, while saying, "I just wanted you, to notice me."

Batman replied, "Believe me, I've noticed you. Doing the right thing is more important, than cheap thrills and jokes. Joker has never learned that lesson."

Batgirl sighed and responded, "I had my priorities out of line, but do you know what it's like, to have romance cloud your mind?"

Batman thought about Catwoman and Talia al Ghul, while saying, "Yes, I sure know what that's like and I've been guilty of it."

Batgirl said, "So, you'll forgive me?"

Batman replied, "If you've learned your lesson."

Batgirl responded, "I have." Batman started walking away. Batgirl asked, "What about our relationship?" Batman left, before answering.

Batgirl returned home, while feeling a bit mopey. However, she turned and saw a wrapped book, that was from Batman. She read the card, which said, "Stay safe and follow the right path, my dear ally." Batgirl opened a window and blew a kiss. She didn't know where Batman was, but she hoped he would feel the kiss, somehow. Batman stood on a nearby ledge. He smiled, before leaving.