HIDDEN GEMS
Full many a gem of purest ray serene
The dark unfathom'd caves of ocean bear:
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its sweetness on the desert air.
— Thomas Gray
Rose Tico surveyed the crumpled heaps of blackened metal and ravaged husks of what had been—not that long ago—a fully functioning Star Destroyer. It was asphalt grey amidst a sea of grass and trees, red-orange fires blazing all around. It was devastation, nothing less.
Seeing such a mighty vessel of destruction split open and all its insides laid bare across miles of jungle, did very little to put her at ease. If anything, the pieces of still sizzling computer components and the wreckage of chrome and durasteel made her feel oddly sad. Scared too. But incredibly morose, even for knowing that the ship had brought death to thousands and done it ten thousand times over. Destroying lives. Her friends, their lives to be specific. And not just her friends. Her sister's too.
At the thought of Paige, her eyes prickled with tears. Tears, she blinked away, because—because she had a job to do, that's why. She hadn't spent more than ten minutes thinking about Paige since she had cried her eyes out while they tried to escape the First Order. Right before she met Finn.
Finn. He always made her smile. Once she had thought she was in love with him. Now she knew better.
It had been nearly a year since Paige died. Give or take a few cycles. And Rose had only just been starting to feel a bit more like herself. Paige had died, and Rose had lived. And that was all that had mattered.
The grass crunched uncomfortably underneath her boots as she trekked toward the largest piece of wreckage. She didn't like the way it felt underfoot. Like she hadn't quite earned this victory. Like there were lives lost that would have to be repaid in some way.
People from Hays Minor had a specific way of repaying debts. Specifically, life debts. But she would think about that later. And she would wrestle with the guilt of this situation then as well.
It took her nearly 20 minutes to find the control deck of the Finalizer. It lay among a heap of debris that was still very hot, so hot she wasn't able to climb over. She had to walk around, and that made the hike even longer.
When she finally did arrive at the vestige of the First Order's former glory, she almost breathed a sigh of relief. That was until she saw the bodies. They were Stormtroopers and officers, the EMP hadn't distinguished between the two. They lay strewn about the wreckage. Or, at least, bits of them did. A few intact remains, but many that were only part of what they had been. She thanked the Stars for a moment that Finn was not among them. She was thankful he hadn't come with her on this mission. He was safe with Poe.
Where he ought to be. She reminded herself. She shook her head at the thoughts as she stepped over a burned officer.
"H—help—me," the officer reached out toward her, though she doubted he could really see anything. Not with the blank stare he held.
So, she sat with him a moment, grasping his gloved hand as he breathed his last.
The lump in her throat tightened. She thought she might feel better, being part of the team. Being able to come here and try out her invention. Now she knew. This wasn't what she wanted. She never wanted to see something like this again. Not ever. She would like to remain a mechanic, working on the ships. Nothing more.
Had she avenged Paige? She didn't know to be honest. Would Paige be satisfied with this decimation of the First Order? Or had Rose only provided herself with more grisly images with which to wake herself in the night? More apparitions of doom?
Whatever the case, Rose Tico continued her way to the command deck. She would not could not neglect her mission.
Just as she reached the command deck, her comm buzzed on her belt. She unhooked it and pressed the button to receive the call, uncertain that she would actually be able to formulate any words.
"This is a game changer!" Finn exclaimed wildly over the comm.
She could vaguely hear Poe's hooting in the background. But she didn't feel quite like celebrating. Not after witnessing what it could do. Perhaps Poe had felt a thrill when he'd shot down his first TIE fighter, but not her. She'd always considered the loss of life. Always worried about who was left at home. Like her, with Paige. Someone would be mourning this loss too.
"Yep," she replied. It was all she could think to say.
"You okay?" Finn asked, presumably sensing something in her tone.
"Yeah," she said quietly. "It's just—it looks so much worse from here."
"I know Rose," Finn said softly. "Just get in and get the info we need, then head back to your shuttle okay?"
"You're not coming to escort me?"
"No, we couldn't chance the First Order recognizing our ships. They're bound to be on their way by now. So, you need to hurry."
She found herself nodding absently, even though she knew he couldn't see her.
"Okay," she whispered, then clicked the comm off.
The deck was still on fire, blazing hot as she rushed inside, looking for the computer console. She found it quickly enough. Finn had told her what it would look like and she trusted him. Once she located it, she slipped the data drive inside, thanking the Stars that the console was still operational. She leaned against the console with one hand, allowing the information to transfer as she studied the hull of the ship. It was so much larger than she'd realized. She'd been aboard the Supremacy and knew how big the First Order ships could be, but this—this was still something else entirely. Especially when she realized that she had been the one to bring it down, to bring the Finalizer down.
Her. Rose Tico.Resistance Hero?
Blink! Blink!
The data had transferred quickly, and suddenly she was reminded that she was alone again in the belly of a ship that made her feel like she'd done something wrong. She shouldn't, though, right? They'd killed people.
NO.
They'd murdered people.
She resigned herself to her duty and this was all just part of that duty.
She pulled the data-drive out of the console and pocketed it quickly. She needed to get out of here. There was painful creaking above her that told her the ceiling might collapse soon. Turning to make her way back out of the ship, she saw another body lying only a few feet away.
The body was caked in ash and debris and was lying on its side. Dried blood ran down the length of the face, and Rose couldn't help the unsettling feeling that she recognized the person, or the face. She just couldn't place it.
Oh well. It was dead anyway.
But a painful feeling of guilt twisted inside her and suddenly she turned from her decided path to walk numbly over to it. She just had to make sure it was dead.
She couldn't tell if it was breathing, but then she saw an eyelid flutter, and she almost screamed. It wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. She should kill him, put him out of his misery, shouldn't she? As quietly as she could manage, she unclipped the blaster at her side and leveled it at him.
Squeeze the trigger, you can do it. She told herself. She needed to put him down.
Her finger started to press the trigger, she had resigned herself to this, to ending him.
Right when she'd heard his voice. And she'd recognized it instantly. Who could forget that cold expression, that decisive tone of judgment? She'd even bitten him once, and right now she wished she'd taken the whole finger.
But when she heard what he said, she faltered.
"Thee—-the stormtrooper program—the children—they—," he gasped, wheezed. And so did she when she heard him speak. "Get them out—they're on board." He was struggling to say something more as he tried to pull himself up from the floor of his ship.
"They're all dead," she said, kneeling next to him, hoping he would just die and let her get on with her mission.
"No, no—," he wailed in torment, "not the children, no, they were supposed to be safe."
Something in his voice cracked, and Rose watched as he sat up, swaying. Something wet brimmed behind his eyes, then tears began streaming down his cheeks.
"I was supposed to keep them safe," he said, his voice breaking with every word. His eyelids fluttered again, and Rose was certain he would fall over dead at any moment. "I failed."
He did collapse, back down onto the hard durasteel of the floor. But she heard the distinct sound of sobs as he pressed his face into his sleeve. Rose studied him warily.
Was this all an act? She wouldn't have thought General Hux even possessed the ability to cry.
She stopped. He'd fallen silent, quietly gasping into his sleeve and in that moment, she knew she couldn't leave him.