Authors note: this is a tribute to the terrible Harry Potter fanfic known as My Immortal, if You are a true blue Harry Potter fan or just an ordinary human being with a brain...I apologise before hand, this story is going to be aweful the spelling shameful and frankly a horror that will melt most brain cells and leave anyone who survives repeatedly saying

'WTF?!' please don't kill Me.

My Name is Mary blood drippings vampy pooh Sue, I am just so lovable and awesome! I was born perfect and gorgeous and every one wants to do Me cuz I is smexy! I have long black hair and white pale skin and have awesome ice blue eyes! I am a witch vampire midget half breed and goes to hoggyfarts school of wizardry, 1 dae I wuz winking down the hall wen I sawz a preppy ho woring pink dress I wuz so pissed I ruins up ta hur and started punching her in the face screaming "preppy biatches dyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" I was just about to piss on her dand rape her driss off wen Draky poo Hightoy yelled My namez:

Darko pooh:" Mary blood drippings vampy pooh sue!"

Me:" OMG WTF?111?!I IS BIZZY"

Dronto pooh:" Nuthing I just winted 2 talk 2 u"

Me:" ohhh" I kicked da preppy biatch after psychotically beating her 4 not slitting her wrists and being goth lick Me then stooped up "wut draky poo flymoy?"

Drapo said shyly:" wanna go see MCR togather in Hoggymead tommoz?"

I screamed orgasmically raging as I raged:" OMFG U luv MCR 2?!"

Dronto smippered:" they mac Me so hard 4 U"

I giggled maniacally flipping My perfect hair:" I wood so like tots luv 2 go wit U Drako"

My friends waved at Me Screaming and so I ran off 2 grate them. later that Nike My friend Durwood was gitting ready to slit her wrists before going 2 head she smippered at Me:

Durwood:" so U and Drapo Shyguy R gonna do twit?"

Me:" OMFG I is so nut going 2 Is nut da slut!111!"

I sayed sexily as put on My night gown wick wuz black letter and red blud corled lace I put on loads ov mac cup on 2 lick blood red lip stick and too jars of white paint foundation and sum blac eye shadowz and sum blac eyed linner I new I looked hawt and smexy and da durwood was totally gonna lez out at Me cuz I am so hawt an stuff putting at her I screamed as I gotz inta Me coffin witch wuz painted red on da outside but had pink and bleck silk and lace on da inside:

Me:" we is judst going 2 sea MCR concert"

Durwood screamed:" be carfully dat lead singe dude is saw hawt! I wint 2 bounce his ballz for daez!"

I cackled:" bitch U da slut"

Durwood giggedz:" yah! only 4 MCR cuz only dar muz-yak is cool and stuffy"

I fell 2 slep. Da next night I wuz reddy for Derpo 2 pickle Me pup I wuz so tots exciteddy I wor dis outfit god I looked saw hawt! I pit blu stakes in My hare cuz I is so cool and shit, Drako turned up in a blak limo wearing nipple cuffs and leather panties but 2 my shock he hed My name tattooed on his chest I cried tears ov blud because I wuz happy Darpo screamed

Drako:" wut is we watting 4?!"

I giggled:" luts goooo"

he held open da cart dor 4 Me and we got inside, we did sum crystal meth 2gether smoked a couple of cigars and drank blood and chimp-pange . The concert wuz awesum and we moshe in da mosh mosh pitt They started signing Helen and I was all hot and flustered as Darpo kissed My nik wen da consert wuz ova Me and Drako had smex right their in da mosh pitts on a tree in da forbidden forest...he raped off My clothez and I gouged off his pants screaming as I had an organizam:

Me:" Drako D-R-A-K-O!"

HIS thingy that he wee wee's out ov slamed in2 Me as I screamed and screwamed

Me"U is smex cod!"£

just then Darpo screamed as he cum:" I LOVE MY DADDY"

we signed contemptuously snuggleing up on da tree when we herds a familiar vice scream:

COCKSUCKING BIATCHES!WUT DA FOOOOOOK IS YEA DOING?!...

If yeah read this and managed to get all the way to the end...I LOVE YOU :)