I DO NOT OWN FAIRYTAIL!
(But if I did; oh the things I'd add to this anime) *smirks evilly*
Should it really hurt to be beautiful?
I hate it…
"Ugly!"
I loathe it…
"Scrawny!"
Why can't they leave me be…
"Fat-ass!"
Maybe… They're right.
I stick my finger down my throat and throw up one last time before I go to bed.
"That makes 3" I wipe my mouth and my tears as I flush. I step out of my bathroom and onto my scale.
"120…No breakfast for me tomorrow"
I wipe a tear that escaped my eyes but…too many kept coming.
I step off the scale, crouch down and cry. I cry until I think I can't cry anymore.
Even though the tears stop I still feel the gaping hole of pain in my chest. The pain of never feeling good enough, pretty enough for anyone.
I dig my nails into my skin, trying to scratch off my horrid shell of a body.
I hate myself.
I hate how hard I have to try just to step out of my door in the morning.
I hate how self conscious I feel when I see other girls who I know are prettier.
Better.
And I'm just…Me.
My blood slowly seeps and I finally stop scratching.
"Time for bed…Ugly girl"
I step up into bed and wrap myself in a cocoon of thick blankets.
My thoughts take me to a distant memory of my mother.
She picks me up…Swings me around…Her smiling face…
"Who's my pretty girl?" She would ask…
"I don't know mom…I don't know" I sniffle as more tears roll down my cheeks.
I shut my eyes and let the lonely darkness take me until the break of dawn.
.
.
.
.
I wake up alone.
The suns rays peek through the blinds. They seem so lovely…so radiant.
The bright glow brings so much light into my bedroom…Yet even though there is so much light my heart still feels so dark and heavy…
I step out of bed and walk into the bathroom. Before I brush my teeth I look into my mirror and point out my flaws.
"Under eye baggage, terrible hair, tiny lips, acne scars, pale skin" *sigh* "just a bunch of reasons why I'm still completely hideous"
I pick up my toothbrush and do my routine of teeth brushing and showering.
I step out of the shower, through on a short sleeve shirt with some shorts and tend to my make up.
I pick up my eye-liner and stop. The sudden urge to even try and look good just left me completely.
"There's no point in this. It's not like it'll make a difference"
I throw my eye-liner down, stand up and head to the kitchen. I open the fridge and then remember "Oh yeah, no breakfast" I shut my fridge once more and just sit on my bed. Legs crossed with my face in the palms of hands.
"God why…"
I felt the tears begin to rise again…
Knock, knock.
I turn towards my window and wouldn't ya' know it-
"Natsu" I somewhat smile as I lift my window up for him to crawl through. "What are you doing here?"
"Happy went on a fishing trip with Wendy and Carle, so I thought instead of being bored alone at the guild I'd be with you"
Natsu layed down on my bed comfortably.
I hang my head a bit "You should've went with them…I'm not in the best mood…"
Natsu sits up and raises his eyebrow "What's wrong?"
"Nothing…you wouldn't understand"
"Hey, don't tell me that. I know I'm not the smartest in the bunch but I do just fine being me. So if you don't think I won't understand then try me"
My heart beats faster "Natsu…" I'm in shock. One, because it's the first time that Natsu admitted to his slight stupidity and two, because he's never said anything so honest to me like that before…
"Well?" He asked.
I gulped trying to swallow my tears back down.
"It sounds…So silly… And so pathetic but…I'm not…Pretty. At least I don't think I am"
"Lucy-"
"Don't Lucy me! Everyone I've ever told always laughs in my face or thinks I'm seeking attention but in reality I'm not! People say I'm pretty! Or beautiful! But in the end they don't see what I see! They don't see a thing staring back at them in the mirror! I see…A hideous person…Inside and out"
I didn't notice how much I've cried till now…
"I'm not pretty…I'm no-"
I felt Natsu's arms wrap around me tightly in a warm embrace. "Shut up, just shut up"
I feel my heart breaking…Yet I somehow feel better that he decided to hug me.
"Your definition of pretty and my definition are two completely different things. Do you think weight or make up is what defines you?"
Natsu seperates from me a bit to look down upon me.
He smiles "Even when you're crying-" He wipes my tear "You're beautiful. I know you might not see it, not even really sure what it is; all I know is that you're a gorgeous blonde who happens to be an amazing celestial spirit mage that can kick some ass! Sure you're hot but that's what it makes it better ya' know?"
I giggle "I'm…Hot?"
Natsu blushes "You get what I mean. Anyway you shouldn't try to focus so hard on your looks when you're already past beautiful" Natsu kisses my forehead and I feel my cheeks burn.
"Focus on the inside Luce, focus on you. Not what other people want you to be and hell if someone calls you ugly I'll be there before they even get to finish the word!"
I laugh and feel my heart rise. "Thank you... It means a lot"
Natsu embraces me tightly again. "Anything for my gorgeous girl"
I'm not sure if Natsu will ever understand how much that meant to me…But I've never felt better. I've never thought that anyone would honestly mean it…Or accept on how I felt. Out of everyone, Natsu did…I'ts surprising as hell…But he did.
And I'm glad he did.
To someone…I'm finally their pretty girl.
Hope that was enjoyable! :D
By the way I just wanna say that all of you guys, ladies and gentlemen, germs and creatures, humans and mutants are all gorg! Don't let the expectations of society bring ya' down cux in the end you're all beautiful to me no matter what. Love you guys!
More NaLu love comin' at cha! ~*3*)~
Kooky out shun!~
