She feels his hands on her body, but they do not create the sensation, she was looking for.
He is kissing her and she is kissing him back, but she feels nothing.
Thoughts are running through her mind, without a recognizable pattern.
His hands find their way under her shirt, but she does not make any attempts to stop him.
She does not understand why it always was such a big deal.
Why other girls are freaking out, whenever a guy tries to get there.
She keeps on kissing him back and tries to relax.
"What's wrong?" he asks and she looks at him surprised.
"Nothing!" she answers and pushes a strand of hair out of her eyes.
His eyes are glued to her, while his forehead is leaning against the side of her head.
"You smell so good" he whispers and places kisses along her neckline, while she is starring out into the dark.
"Your hair is so soft" he says and let his hand glide through it, before it comes to a stop at her lower back.
"What are you thinking about?" he asks her and she looked at him.
"Nothing!" she answers and kissed him, because it is easier than talking.
His hands are caressing her lower back.
"Your skin is so soft!" he says when he plls back and again she just kisses him.
It is easier to tune him out like this.
His hands find their way down her pants and he deepens the kiss.
She thinks, that he was not the one who was supposed to be here.
That he is not the one she was supposed to do this with.
That she is not supposed to be out on this road with a guy.
He keeps on doing what he is doing.
Kissing her, caressing certain parts of her body.
And she responds.
Pretends that she likes it.
That she actually was into it.
A car comes down the road.
"Lets drive somewhere else" he says and leans back, starting the engine.
She does not complain.
She is to weak to complain.
It does not matter to her.
Whatever he does
It does not matter.
She is alone and he is the only one there for her in this moment.
"Kiss me!" he says.
"While you are driving?" she asks astonished.
He pulls her close and she does what he demands.
Again he stopped the car.
"Let's go on, where we stopped!" he mumbles into her hair, holding her close.
She closes her eyes.
"Are you alright?"
Again she nods.
"Do you mind, if in unbutton these?" he asks her and she shrugs.
"If you want to..."
She does not make him stop.
Does not bother to.
Does not care.
He pushes two fingers into her.
Her body reacts.
Not as passionate as before.
She does not really need this right now.
Her thoughts are miles away.
She hates to be rejected.
She hates to get ditched.
She cannot believe, that she ha really thought, that she had made friends.
Their lips are locking again.
"You are so amazing" he moans as his head finds his way to her breast.
He kisses her left tit and then bites her nipple.
She did not have anyone touch her like this in so long, but still it was not really what she needed.
Pain like this used to turn her on.
Now it was just something she was accepting, not appreciating.
He kept a steady rhythm, but she was far from getting an orgasm.
Her gaze fell onto the digital clock of his car.
"We need to get going!" she says casually as if talking about the weather.
As if they were just casually hanging out in his car.
"Come on girl..." he says and she replies "I don't want to be late"
He pulls her into another deep kiss, this time on his side of the car.
Finally she pulls back. "Let's go!" she says leaning back in her own seat.
Thinking that she has given him enough.
That she has paid a fair prize, for not being alone for one night.
Her heart drops as they drive past Tommy's house and suddenly she feels dirty.
"We are going to hang out over the summer, right?" she gives him a long look. "Sure" she says, escaping the car.
She knows, that thats what he wants to hear.
She gets into the shower immediately.
Has the water as hot as possible.
She puts her clothes into the washer.
She feels like she has cheated on Tommy, although they are not even together.
Although he does not even want her.
Although he might never want her.
He is on her mind.
Always...