A/N: Set after "Trust Metric" for this part. I may be posting a prequel as to who Dejoey is and how she meets Colby and all that if this portion is well received. Feel free to review this and tell me if you want that part of the story. This was a bit of a spur of the moment thing, and is therefore un-beta-ed. Tell me if something doesn't make sense. I, naturally, do not own any part of Numb3rs.
She was torn. She had never been accused of being naïve, especially not as a police officer that fought the crime infestation of Los Angeles every day. But this new assignment came with so many implications. They needed someone to fight the rise of the Bixel Street Boys, someone to go undercover and get the information that was necessary to stop them. She was the only police officer for the job, it seemed. At least, that's how Meeks made it seem.
She just wished she had a chance to say goodbye. Writing a letter and leaving it to be forwarded was not the same as having a face to face conversation. For all she knew, this chaos filled view through the operating window would be the last chance she would get to see of him. The odds were high that he would wake up in the hospital bed, get discharged, and move on with his life. He would probably try to track her down if he left town, but that would be far too risky. She hoped that leaving a note, telling him that she would be busy and not to try to reach her would be enough. Surely he would understand the implications of the assignment as a discharged triple agent. The less people know, the more likely the survival of the operative.
She was worried that he wouldn't understand. What they had together was impossible to describe in a few sentences on a piece of cheap stationary. She wanted so bad to scrap the assignment, to stay here beside Granger and tell him how she really felt. But in her heart she knew that could never work.
She slipped into the room once the nurses got everything set up. Looking down on the man she had known for almost two years, she was terrified. There were too many machines, all over him. His unconscious body looked tortured beyond repair. She hadn't seen him in three months. She probably wouldn't see him again until January at the earliest.
She laid the letter on the table. His name in her bold familiar handwriting popped off the envelope. She took one last look at the man who had changed her life. The man she now knew she loved, although it had taken almost losing him to discover it. Then, silently, she slipped back out into the hall.
Leaving the hospital, she returned home. She had some last minute preparations before she moved into her cover apartment that needed to be done. She couldn't stop thinking about Granger's lifeless body. Silently, she prayed she had done the right thing. Only time would truly show that…
Granger,
I know it's been a long time since we had a solid conversation with each other. You being a federal prisoner hasn't exactly helped much. I'm glad to hear the news that you were really working on the forces of good. Not that I ever doubted you, but confirmation is always nice.
I'm not going to be seeing much of you. In fact, it will be a fluke if I see you at all. There's this undercover job Meeks wants me to help with. I wish I could tell you more, but I'm not going to. I don't want this letter to fall into the wrong hands.
It's going to be hard for you to settle back in with the aftermath of what just happened. I want you to know that even if you can't talk to me, I'm behind you all the way. I wish I could say goodbye in person, but that's not going to be an option. I'll call you up when this is over, and we'll finish this conversation then.
Yours truly,
Officer Saffron Dejoey