Disclaimer: I do not own the X Files, it is owned by Chris Carter and Fox. This is written for fun and not profit.
Lost and Found
By Dark Poltergeist
I had been lost, so lost and I didn't even know it.
Lost in my searches, lost in my theories, lost in my brilliance, and I was lost in myself. I was lost in my work in the basement, in what was important to me, lost in my own form of insanity. I lost myself in relationships that didn't work, and I realized I was not cut out for anything resembling a normal life. Then I lost myself in the X-files and decided to devote my life to it.
Then she walked into the basement and into my life. The petite red head with blue eyes that looked through my very soul, that challenged me on my very own turf. I tried to lose her too by being a smartass, by being in sarcastic and condescending. But I couldn't lose her then, she stuck like glue despite my efforts to scare her away.
And I couldn't lose her now because to do that would be to lose myself. I lose myself to her strength of character, her intelligence, and to her stubbornness which is very similar to my own. This still says nothing as to how I lose myself to her beauty, to her grace, to the very person that is Dana Scully.
I lose myself to her when she walks, moves, talks and looks at me. When she touches me I experience an entirely different kind of a loss, and my highly touted Oxford education can seldom allow me to find words to respond in an articulate fashion from the effect that her simple touch has on me. I lose my heart to her as I stare into the crystal blue eyes lit with love and desire for me
And then, having no will power, I find myself lost within her, buried in her as she clenches me tight and holds my spilled essence within her. I will do anything for this woman that I have lost my heart to, and I will give her anything she needs even if it does end up being something more normal like a home and a family.
I have lost myself to Dana Scully and I couldn't be happier.
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I had found everything I needed from life or so I thought.
I found that I was intelligent, hardworking, tenacious, and motivated to perform well and get what I want from life. I found that I didn't want to be a nine to five doctor, situated in a luxurious office caring for patients that could be treated by other doctors. I found that I wanted to help people who could no longer speak for themselves and so I became a pathologist, and began working for the FBI.
That is when I found him, sitting in a basement office with a smart mouth and major attitude despite his brilliant mind. I found that he was a royal pain in the ass, too smart for his own good, but undisciplined, but I also found him to be troubled, sometimes deeply so, and often wished that I could do something to ease his pain.
I find his eyes are beguiling as they change with the light and with his moods, his pouty lips enticing, and his little boy smile endearing, and I am driven mad with thoughts of what that mouth that has so much practice with sunflower seeds could do to me if I let it. I find myself daydreaming about the possibilities for us but I am unable to express my fondest desires to my partner of many years.
Then he kisses me, a lingering sweet kiss and I find that he has undone me. The feel of his lips against mine, the taste of his mouth as we open to each other, and the press of our bodies against each other.
I find myself wanting all of him as our skin lies flush against one another, urging him on, and then I find that he is within me as we began to move together in a rhythm that we have created in each other. I find my answers of what this means to him in his eyes, his eyes that are dark with desire and fueled by the love I see there. I find that he completes me as we fulfill each other and that my voice is being covered by his mouth as the waves of our rocking bodies begin to subside.
I have found my perfect opposite, my perfect other, the one that makes me whole, and his name is Fox Mulder.
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AN: Thanks for reading – reviews are greatly appreciated!
Also please take a look at the longer story I have running called 'The Ghost Files'; if you don't know the other characters in the story (from a different TV show) just think of them as OC; there is MSR and I think it turned out pretty well. Thanks.