Voldemort's
bad Day
Once upon a
time (Monday Morning) Harry Potter was walking down the street on Privet Drive,
when all of a sudden Voldemort jumped out behind the bushes and told Harry that
he was going to kill him just like he killed his parent's. Harry got pissed and
beat Voldie's ugly little @$$.
Harry
received the Order of Merlin 1st Class for ridding the world of that stupid
loser.
Everyone was
at the party following the award, when all of a sudden a badly beaten and highly
drunk Voldemort jumped out from behind the cake and told Harry that he sucked
like the Mud blood Hermione.
Crookshanks
got pissed and did a power-bombed on Voldemort's ugly @$$ out the door.
Snape found
Voldemort's ugly mangled and bloody body outside the great hall and because he
was pissed off at Harry for getting the Order of Merlin, Snape took his anger
out on Voldemort by continuously hitting Voldie's broken face on the concrete
steps outside.
Voldemort
managed to crawl slowly away from Hogwarts while saying, "This day can't
get any worse." While Voldemort was dragging himself through the Forbidden
Forest he was kidnapped by a gigantic spider, the spider brought him to Aragog.
Upon sensing that Voldemort was not Hagrid, Aragog told his sons and daughters
to eat Voldemort.
Before they
could eat him a massive black dog rescued him. The dog turned out to be Sirius
Black. Sirius beat Voldemort to within an inch of his life then left to find
the wizard who framed him AKA: Wormtail.
Then Hedwig
and Pig came along and pooped directly on Voldemort's forehead.
Voldemort
was lying half dead and literally torn to shreds (with the owl poop on his
forehead) when a strange purple dinosaur and ugly and gay looking aliens waddled
towards him and transported Voldemort to a park with four kids and bunnies
along with field of grass and bright sunshine.
Barney said,
"Okay everyone let's sing a song to our new friend Lord Voldemort!"
They started to sing the infamous I Love You song while the Telletubbies did a
dance around Voldemort.
Voldemort
mentally tortured himself, "I just HAD to say that this day couldn't get
any worse didn't I? DIDN'T I!?