Before my hero Anne Frank died her untimely death, she wrote in her diary while hiding that she wanted to live on after her death. And you know what? She did live on after her death; she became the poster child of every child that was lost in the Holocaust. Her brilliantly written diary is one of the most read books in the entire world, and that girl has become a household name. Books, movies, documentaries, memes, that girl has been given it all. It seems like a lot of young people who have met tragic ends seem to live on after they die, Anastasia Romanov, Kurt Cobain, and hell, even for some history nuts Mary Queen of Scots. It really just depends on who you are, or the time period you die in.
The problem with today, so little people live on after their untimely deaths, because the world moves on to the next thing so quickly. People forget to just appreciate the people that have been lost, and learn about who they were. Most people in my town and all across North America know about the Aurora Colorado shootings. When they happened, everyone in South Park was in a panic. We all refused to go to the movie theatre for quite some time, in fear of a copycat. People remember the event that happened, and I bet you they can make a mental image of the killer, but if asked to name or even remember the faces of the twelve victims, they would all come to a blank.
Every minute, young people meet their untimely end. Some are brilliant, some are talented, and some have the sweetest of hearts. They are loved by their friends and families, but after those loved ones leave this Earth, these people are officially forgotten. Another small part of this Earth's history, never to be brought up again. If the news is true, I may be one of those eventually forgotten people. I Wendy Testaburger, is being tested for cancer.
My life has always been what one would call "perfectly tragic." Not because my life has been a series of wonderful events to this perfect Mary-Sue-like character, more like because my life has been a series of continuous sad events. I don't think I remember a time in my life where there wasn't SOMETHING going on. So in a way, whenever something happens to me it isn't "oh no, this is terrible" it's "of course this would happen to me." In the second grade, my Mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, she survived luckily. However, my family does not like talking about that period in our lives; it was a large crisis for my family. In the fourth grade when that douchebag Eric Cartman just had to push it to the limit, once again, I had to beat the crap out of him. For my Mother, the pain it caused my Father and I, and for Principal Victoria. Years later, in the sixth grade I started to get bullied a lot by the other girls in school. To be honest, in the earlier grades I was one of the "popular kids", but I guess once the teen years role in there is no room for a scholastic, nerdy, musical girl. People would spread rumours about me, backstab me, and there was a Facebook page called "We Hate Wendy". Eventually I started to become depressed, and started to self-harm. The bullying lasted until the eighth grade, and eventually stopped once we entered high school. Stan and I broke up right before high school started, so the year started with me in low spirits. A lot of my early years in high school were spent with me going in and out of depression, sometimes over legitimate reasons, sometimes over petty things. It wasn't like my life was super hard; I had friends, good grades, and loving parents. In the tenth grade, Stan and I got back together.
Then this dreaded year happened…to be honest I can't remember the last time I smiled, and truly felt it. In May, five months ago, Stan broke up with me. His parents found a nude photo of me, and made him break up with me. It disappoints me because I actually loved his parents. Sharon Marsh is a wonderful, kind lady, and Randy Marsh…though he can be a bit crazy, he's still a great person to be around. A few days later, I was in a car accident with my Father. We were both relatively okay, but it was another grievance in a very tough time. Stan and I tried to be together behind his parent's back, but then we both went to different summer camps over the summer. I got into a French immersion program in Canada, and Stan was a CIT at a camp he started visiting every summer in the seventh grade. While there, he officially broke it off with me. When I got home, I found out he met someone new. We are friends now, and we hang out and talk quite a bit, but I still love him. And hearing him talk about her, or other girls, it destroys me on the inside. Ignorance is bliss.
It would have been easier for me to move on if consequences were different for me that summer. Besides Stan leaving me, I was taken advantage of by a boy in the French immersion program.
When this school year started, Stan and I were on weird terms. I didn't know how to describe it, it was like we were friends but we weren't either. We still talked, but I felt this horrible elephant in the room. All I wanted to do was kiss him, tell him I love him, and for things to go back the way they were before. But I knew she existed, she was in between us now, a girl that I didn't even know, became my worst enemy. Over time however, Stan and I started to become cool with one another, we hung out, and we talked a lot. Things are fine between us, and to be honest, at a time like this I need someone like that in my life. Two weeks ago I started to get really sick, tired all the time, coughing, hard time breathing, I just didn't feel like me anymore, at all. That was when my Mom took me to the doctor's…and well the rest is history.
So now, I lay here in my bed, staring at my ceiling wondering what's going to happen to me. I've seen how this whole cancer thing works before, and it isn't fun. They're thinking leukemia, if I do have cancer. Cancer has become more common these days, but people die from it all the time. I'm only 17, in my last year of high school, my life is supposed to be starting soon, and now I'm worrying about it ending. I've wasted so much time being depressed; I haven't left any reason to be missed. I really haven't done anything with my life, and there is still so much that I want to do. If I do have cancer, and even if I do survive, I will still lose valuable time in my youth that I could've spent living or accomplishing goals and dreams. And if I don't survive, I will be a waste of a life on this earth that left no impact. If I don't have cancer, I will never live the same again. This has been a true wake up call, in how quickly life has changed and of how insignificant our little problems really are.
I need to find a way to change things…but how?