Disclaimer - I don't Soul Eater
"…No, I don't cry on the outside anymore."
- Kelly Clarkson, Behind These Hazel Eyes
Maka Albarn sat on the little couch over looking the small living room in her apartment she shared with her weapon. Her legs were drawn up to her chest tightly and her chin was resting on her knees. Her emerald eyes stared blankly at nothing.
"Hey Maka," Soul called from his room, "have you seen my -"
"Third drawer down, right hand corner, first one on top," she answered him, still staring at nothing, as if she was right there looking at the exact spot where his blue sweatshirt was.
"Thanks," he grunted. He walked out of his room just as he was pulling the shirt over his head. His headband was pulling his spiky white hair back and his ruby eyes sparkled with slight excitement.
"You sure you don't want to come with us?" the young scythe asked for the sixth time that day. "Tsubaki's coming. And I think Kid, Liz, and Patti are too. We're probably gonna go hang out Kidd's place afterwards."
The meister looked over at the white haired boy and smiled a tiny smile. "Yeah, I'm sure Soul. I'll stay here and keep Blair company. " At the sound of her name a small purple cat with a mini witch's hat jumped onto the couch and curled up next to Maka. Her hand started to scratch the spot between her ears.
He stared at his partner for a bit before asking, "Are you okay Maka?"
"I'm fine. Just Tired."
Which was partly true, so it wasn't like she was lying, right? With all that late night studying she's been doing, she never gets enough sleep. And then waking up so early in the morning to get changed and make breakfast for Soul, Blair, and herself…it was the most believable thing she could think of. They just didn't know the other half of the truth.
And the best part?
They actually believed her.
Something she's been working on for a while now. They always did.
"Maka if something's bothering you…"
"…then I can always talk to you about it," Maka recited. "I know, I know."
Soul gave her a slight grin. Before he could say anything else there was a loud knock on the door. "Let's go Soul! Hurry up!" Black Star exclaimed.
"Kick his ass for me," Make told Soul.
The door burst open and Black Star, Tsubaki, Kid, Liz, and Patti entered the room. Black Star marched over to Maka with a glare etched into his features. "Nobody can kick my ass, for I am the GREAT, the INVINCIBLE BLACK STAR, SURPASSER OF GODS!"
Maka simply raised an eyebrow at him. Great and invincible my ass, Maka thought.
"Are you sure you don't want to come with us Maka?" Death the Kid asked. The young Grim Reaper stood in the doorway, not wanting to be as rude as Black Star and barge in. "We're going to my place when we're done."
"Yeah, are you sure you don't want to go?" Tsubaki agreed. The kind-hearted chain scythe tried to pull her meister out the door but failed.
"I'm fine guys. I'm just tired. I think I would pass out on the court," Maka said with a slight laugh. She didn't particularly like the way the lie just rolled off of her tongue and out of her mouth so easily but what else is there to expect when you've been doing for quite a while?
"Oh Maka, puh-lease," Black Star inquired. "You're just scared that I'll beat you again. You get so frightened when we play against each other that you have to hide behind your little boyfriend over there -" he pointed over at Soul "-just because you think I'm gonna hurt you."
"I am not her boyfriend!"
"He is not my boyfriend!"
They spoke at the same time and the minute their words left their mouths they looked at each other with wide eyes. A blush covered both their cheeks. Before either one of them could do something that would permanently injure Black Star, Liz stepped in.
"Let's go oh Great One," Liz had tugged him by the scruff of his neck out the door. Soon everyone shuffled out. Including Soul who shot one look back at his meister.
She heard the door close with a faint click. She stared at it. Their voices drifted away as the waked further and further from the door. Maka closed her eyes again. Why was she acting like this? It's been so long…
But you remember it everyday.
It hurt her to think about it. She tried to push it away in the far corner all the way in the very back of her mind but it never worked. It always found someway to come back, something she said or did or thought of always made it come back.
Soul was the very first guy she let in since her parents' divorce. She didn't exactly know what happened when they became partners but she learned to trust boys, even if it did take a bit. That doesn't necessarily mean she's ready to forgive her father with open arms and a huge smile, though. As much as Spirit would want that to happen, it won't. He messed up. This is the consequence.
Spirit's daughter was a mess. She wasn't acting this way just due to the fact that she's tired. No, it goes deeper than that. She's tired not only because of the studying. She's tired because she can't sleep. And when she does, it's haunted with nightmares. Maka will get the occasional dream but that's about it. Lately that's the only thing she can seem to think of.
Her mother, Kami, would always give him second chances. After a whole lot begging and crying and fighting and, apparently, meaningless 'I love you's. Spirit claimed to love Kami and Maka. "You guys are the most important people in my life," he'd say to his little girl. Then, a few hours later, he'd come home drunk with his hair messed up and his suit on backwards, gurgling other girl's names and other slurred things. Then there would be more fighting and yelling and curse words being flung left and right. All while Maka lied in bed, trying to drown out her parents' words.
She would cry herself to sleep on those nights.
Suddenly Maka heard a cat meow and snapped back to reality. She was pawing at her hand and motioning at the door. "Maka, can I go to the Fish Store?"
"Yeah, Blair," Maka said absently. "Have fun."
The purple cat walked over to the door and through the little door they hand put in. With a final meow, the cat was gone. Maka put her head back on her hands. She closed her eyes tightly. She had learned to stop crying a few years ago. It wasn't gonna make the fighting stop. It wasn't gonna prevent her Dad from going out, finding some new girl, and coming home drunk. It wasn't gonna help. So why bother?
Maka Albarn doesn't cry on the outside anymore.
But she sure as hell cries on the inside.
When she heard the door open, it was already past midnight. A figure appeared out of the corner of her eye. Blair was fast asleep in her bed near the couch so it couldn't have been her. She looked over and saw Soul walking toward her. He plopped down on the couch, his head landing in her lap. Normally she would push him off or flick his head or Maka-Chop him. Something along those lines, but this time she just stared down at her partner.
Soul looked right back with a small grin on his face but that soon evaporated when he saw the emptiness in Maka's eyes. The were glazed over, emotionless. Not an ounce of her usual cheeriness in them whatsoever. She tried for a smile but didn't exactly accomplish that.
"What's wrong, Maka?" Soul asked.
"Nothing," Maka stated. She knew her lie wouldn't work this time. He could see through her carefully constructed wall. For the first time in weeks, someone saw past the mask.
Crap.
"Don't try that with me," he sat up and faced her. She kept staring forward.
"Don't try what with you Soul?" she pretended not to know what he was talking about.
"Dammit Maka!" Soul half-yelled. "You haven't smiled for weeks. You aren't reading as much as you used to. You got a freaking B on the last test you took and you didn't even talk to Professor Stein about it. That's not the Maka I know."
"I'm fine Soul," she tried again, but it was no use. It was done. He saw through it. She got up to leave but he caught hold of her wrist. Maka tried to pull away but his grip was too strong.
"Let me go," her anger was teetering over the edge now.
"No," he said firmly. "Not until you tell me what's up with you."
"Soul -" the meister looked back at her partner and saw something there.
Concern.
Soul looked at his partner with such concern and care that it almost hurt to look back at him. Her father never looked at her mother that way. Never comforted her when she was upset, not the way Soul did, at least. Spirit was always out partying with other women to be too worried about what was happening with his dear wife at home.
Maka's eyes closed and Soul tugged on her wrist. She stumbled to the spot in front of him and felt something wet and hot run down her cheek. When she opened her eyes again, they were slightly puffy and red. Soul pulled her to him and guided her to the couch. There, she buried her face in his chest and cried. He rubbed her back, trying to calm her down and telling her to relax and tell him what was wrong. The knot that had formed inside her was finally unraveling. It felt good to cry, despite why she actually was.
At first, Maka was upset. "It's fair! It's not freaking fair!" she'd scream over and over again. She was angry at her father for what he did. Especially because he did it multiple times. Eventually, the screaming turned to soft moans of pain. Then whispers and whimpers after that. Next, came the explanation as to why she started bawling and Soul listened to every word. Not once did he interrupt her, he just let her talk and mm-hmm-ed when necessary. Finally, Maka had nothing else to say. She just lay there in her partner's arms while he continued to rub her back. After a few minutes Soul broke the silence.
"Maka?" Soul said gently, as if approaching an injured animal. "Let's get you to bed."
Silently, Maka lifted her head from where it was currently resting against Soul and got up from the couch. He kept a hand on her waist, just in case she stumbled.
Once she made it on her bed, Soul turned to leave. "Soul?"
The weapon turned. He hesitated for a moment before walking back over to the bed. Before he could get there though, he tripped over Maka's boot and went flying forward. His arms landed on either side on his meister's head. They looked at one another.
"Thank you," was all Maka said, all she could say because she didn't know how to react to the way Soul was staring at her. It just seemed.. Intense. The way his eyes bore into hers. Something inside her fluttered uncontrollably and her heart pounded faster than normal. Why was she reacting to his gaze his way? Why was -?
His lips came in contact with her cheek, silencing any coherent thoughts she had at the moment. Maka let out an almost inaudible gasp. Soul had never shown his affections as openly as he had done so now. When he pulled back, Maka's eyes snapped open, but before she could see the expression on his face he was already halfway to the door.
"Thank you," Maka whispered once again. Her cheeks had been tinted with the lightest pink coloring. Soul slightly turned and said two little words that told Maka that he would help her. Two words that made her think that maybe, just maybe, not all men were lying cheaters. Two words that made her heart swell with joy.
"Your welcome."
He did it.
He actually did it.
Soul Eater Evans just kissed Maka Albarn, his meister, on the cheek.
He just shook his head and went over to the small couch. Grabbing the remote of the coffee table he switched the TV on and lowered it, just in case Maka was asleep.
Soul had no idea that her parents' issues were bothering her this badly. If he'd known sooner it probably wouldn't be as bad as it is now. Maybe, just maybe, if he'd asked her more often and kept pushing it…
No. She probably would have kept doing what she's been doing. Avoiding it, passing it off as sleep. He didn't know that she had been staying up at night for hours just staring at the ceiling, waiting for the power of sleep to take over her body, to relax and loosen up. He didn't know that the reason why she wouldn't smile was because of her parents. He didn't know any of that and he's her partner. Soul is supposed to know just about everything there is to know about Maka.
So why didn't he know this?
Maka was never the type of person to be depressed. She was always happy and perky, something Soul had always liked about her and still does like about her, even though he'd never admit it out loud. Yeah, she's been sad before and angry but, never to the point where she would lie about it for weeks at a time and keep on saying everything was fine, when it wasn't. Soul had a feeling she was feeling a bit upset and there were times when he was going to ask her about it, but figured she would tell him when she was ready. She never did and seeing her in the condition she was in today, his suspicion was confirmed. He never knew the pain would be this deep.
But now he did and he would help her through it. He would make sure that she would smile. That she would go hang out with their friends when invited. That she wouldn't get a B on a test and if she did, she would speak to the teacher about it and if she didn't, he would tell her to. Because, after all, this is Maka Albarn we're talking about. Getting a B on anything for her means she will have a nervous breakdown and do anything she can (as long as it doesn't involve harming something and/or someone in any way, shape, or form) to get a perfect A plus.
Soul snickered to himself as walked into his room and closed the door quietly behind him. As he lay in bed, he realized two things tonight.
Maka Albarn doesn't cry on the outside anymore.
But she sure as hell cries on the inside.
Starting tomorrow, Soul Eater Evans thought as he closed his eyes, listened to the music that emanated from his headphones. Maka Albarn won't need a reason to cry at all.
And she wouldn't.
