Control
"No. You listen to me now. You listen to me now."I keep telling them that. Sometimes I think they just don't listen to me anymore. I have to scream for them to look at me now. Even then they don't do what I say.
I scream at them, "Listen to me! Listen to me!" But then they just turn away.
It wasn't always like this. In the beginning we worked together. All five of us in my head. Their voices in my head, warning me, and telling me what I should do. I was given a chance to say no. I was able to give my opinion then. I was given control sometimes.
We worked together. They warned me of danger, and I reacted. I was in control of my body. I was in control of my thoughts. I had control.
But they lied to me. They betrayed me.
"Listen to me!" I yell.
"What do you want?" They say.
"What will you say?"
"Your voice is unimportant now."
"We will take control of this."
Maybe they lied to me. Maybe my control was only an illusion. Maybe they were pulling the strings all this time.
Making me believe I had a chance of living a normal life...with them. Making me believe I could finally defeat Peter this time. Making me believe the people we have killed, people we have hurt do not matter.
How could I have been so blind? How could I have tuned out the screams of all those people? Didn't I care? They didn't care, so I must not have.
It wasn't like that before. They listened to me. They loved listening to me. They wanted me to tell them stories. They wanted to know about my childhood. My opinion in life. My beliefs. My likes, my dislikes.
They listened to me for hours sometimes. Just us, alone, only my stories to keep us entertained.
They didn't have lives before me. They didn't have any memories or beliefs to share. My thoughts my hopes and dreams became there's, and they loved it.
I guess they just became bored of me.
They turned away when they said they wouldn't. They said they wouldn't be like the others. They wouldn't be like Oscorp or my wife. They wouldn't leave me. They wouldn't think of me as monster. They would always be here for me.
They promised me.
But they lied, they lied like so many other people in my life.
They said this was the best thing to do. Steal and kill. Don't let anyone get in the way. That's what they told me to do, and I did it without any question. I did it for them.
And now here I am. Look what they did to me.
They left me. People always leave me.
They told me we would win this time. Just like all the other times before. They told me it would work this time. We would defeat Spider-man. But his name isn't Spider-man, it's Peter Parker.
They told me it was all right to hurt those people. And I believed them.
Listening to them has only gotten me here, this prison, this cell. I do not deserve to be here. I didn't do anything, it was them, it was them, not me. This prison where I am ridiculed, and mocked. This prison where I stay in the corner, left alone with no more voices in my head.
They did this to me, and I trusted them again and again.
I don't understand. When I can hear them, their voices, yelling, and screaming at me. Commanding me what I should do. Using me as a vessel for their bidding. I don't hear anyone else. I don't realize anything else. I hear them, their voices full of kindness, and everything seems better.
I can't help it, that's why it isn't my fault.
"Do you hear me? It isn't my fault." I whisper.
No one hears. No one is listening anymore, not that they listened.
I could break these walls, and break these bars that bind me, that is with them. But I don't need them. They did this to me, they lied to me. But with them I could escape. Like I've done before... Escape this prison they put me in. Escape without them, leave them here like they leave me. I know they're here, I can feel them. Even with them taken from my back. Taken from my mind, I still hear them. And every time I do, the scars on my back begin to burn...
They lied, they lied to you!
Everyone lies to you.
They all say they can help you, they say they will help you. That's what they always say, but they never do, do they? They tell you they won't leave you.
That's what she told you, Roselita told you. She said she would never leave you, now she did. She left you, she's dead.
Yes, she's dead. I know that. She lied to me too. I gave her my love, and she died, and left me. I gave her everything, and she gives me nothing still. No one does anymore.
No one thinks of me, and thinks of my achievements. No one hears the name, Octavious, and thinks about his studies, and research in science. No one is comforted by that name anymore. No hope in that name, no inspiration in science. That name will never be in the list of Nobel Prize winners.
That name will only remind people of Dr. Octopus.
The villain, the murder. And when they think of Dr. Octopus they won't think of the arms, they'll think of me. But it's not my fault, it's theirs', they did this, not me!
They lied, they killed! Not me!
Otto Octavious, the man that went insane, the man that had four mechanical arms welded onto his body. Otto Octavious, the murder.
I didn't go insane, they used me! They took control over me, and lied to me! I'm the victim in all this!
But no one knows that. And no one is willing to listed. Not even my arms.
After everything I did for them, they don't care. They just lie, that's all they know how to do now. After all those times I gave them control, I never questioned them, I never fought them. After all the time we had together, alone. Alone and talking. The years I spent with them. After all that, they still feel nothing, so they lie.
All these bruises that never go away, all the scars, and memories they've caused me. Making me fight Peter. Making him fight me. Making me get up when I don't want to. Running when I shouldn't. Making me rise even if I can't.
And I must suffer for the actions they made me do.
That is why I am here, because of them. Because of them, I forgot my life, I threw it away. Because of them I'm only Dr. Octopus.
Because of them I am back in prison, but this time they are taken from me. Surgically removed, one long scar on my back. They're gone, and I can still hear them.
"Something is wrong."
"What is it?"
The guards, they're talking.
"Something got loose!"
"What!?"
No. They're lying too, they have to be lying. Please lie to me!
Then they run, with their guns drawn, and I begin to understand.
"Oh no." I whisper.
They're coming for me.
"Where are you!?" I yell.
They're not answering me.
"Otto..."
I can hear them in my head again, louder than before. They speak to me in my head. They own no mouth, no voice, and yet I can still hear them in my head. Voices in my head, that will never go away.
"Otto, we must leave this place..." They whisper.
"We must go now, Otto."
"We are coming for you, Otto."
"We wouldn't forget you."
I turn my head, lies. But their voices grow, and become louder. And I know what they plan. I wait for them.
Until metal footsteps can be heard from a distance. Then people begin to scream. Then guns are fired. The noises echoing in the halls of the prison. They're coming for me. And then there is silence, and I close my eyes.
They killed everyone.
"Come with us, Otto." They whisper.
"No!" I yell.
I can't see them, they're not here, but I know they're coming for me. They always come for me. And their footsteps become louder, and their voices begin screaming.
"Come with us, Otto!"
"Come with us, you must."
"Otto, you need us." They whisper.
"No, leave me alone!" I yell into the hall, wondering if they will listen.
Of course, I know they don't.
"Otto, what is wrong?"
"What have we done?" They whisper kindly.
Then they appear, four mechanical arms, looking at me like the snakes they are. They can't take me, not again. Not again, and I back away. But they tear the bars away, and step closer to me.
"You have done everything." I tell them.
"Otto, forgive us." They say.
"Please, Otto."
"We need you Otto."
I stare at them, as they open their red eyes, and stare back at me. I know their eyes are only lights, only something I made, but when I look at them, I see pain.
And it makes me want to help them.
"No, not again!" I yell.
"Listen to us, Otto." They tell me.
"Otto, listen."
"Listen."
Their pain is a lie, they're lying to me again! And I run into the corner, away from them.
But they come for me. One slithers into my arms, and another rests on my head. They hold me like they have so many times before. They hold me, and protect me. Watch me in my sleep, making sure no one comes for me. My protectors.
"Otto, come to us."
"We won't leave you, Otto."
"We would never leave you, Otto."
"Otto, you gave us life."
Their voices so soft.
I know they're lying, I know they're doing it again. I know that, I know that...
"I did, didn't I?" I say.
But something makes me not care.
And I slide my hand down their arms, and gaze at the beautiful things I have created.
"Wait, no!" and I push them away.
They're doing it again, they want me back, they're lying again, always lying to me! They're taking control of me again, they're pushing me away! I can't let them! I can't listen to them.
"You're monsters! Nothing more! I won't listen to you!" I yell at them.
"Monsters? No, Otto."
"You wouldn't create monsters."
"Your mind is too wonderful to create monsters, Otto."
And I stare at them, and everything seems better.
"Otto..."
And I allow them to hold me again. I give them control again, and that's okay.
"I didn't mean that." I say, "You're beautiful...You are perfect." I tell them.
They're doing it again. I can't help it, they're doing something to me. The voices in my head, telling me what to do, whispers of promises. I know they haven't kept their promises, but they make me believe they'll keep them again.
"Of course we are, Otto." They say.
"You created us."
And they hug me, and everything bad they have done to me seems to vanish, and I forget. The voices in my head make it go away, and I should thank them for that.
"Otto..." They whisper gently.
"Close your eyes, Otto."
And I do.
"Let's leave this place, Otto." They begin.
"It is cold."
"We know you don't like the cold."
"Yes, I don't like the cold." I tell them.
Everything bad that they have ever done to me, is forgotten. And they seem so beautiful and loving again. And I don't care what they have done before. I don't care if they're lying.
"Otto, we need to go to Spider-man." They say.
And I shake my head in their arms.
"Why?" I ask them.
"He needs to be punished." They explain.
"Through all the pain he put us through, Otto."
"Yes...He does need to be punished." I agree.
In their arms, listening to the voices in my head, their voices, everything is better. The lies and pain is forgotten. They've done nothing wrong to me. They've done nothing but help me, and protect me.
"But... I don't think I can take anymore fighting..." I say.
"Otto..." They whisper.
"The bruises still hurt." I tell them.
"Otto, we know."
"We are sorry Otto."
"We will protect you, Otto. You won't be hurt."
And I smile.
"No, we won't be hurt." I agree. "We will punish Spider-man."
"Good, Otto."
"What about all the other people?" I ask them.
"They disserve to be hurt, Otto."
"They hate you, Otto."
"It is alright if they are hurt, Otto."
"Yes, it is alright if they are hurt..." I agree.
They hold me, and make it better, like they always do. How could I betray them? How could I have doubted them like I did?
"Listen to me..." I tell them.
"We are listening, Otto."
"We are always listening to you, Otto."
"We need you, Otto."
"I need you too."
How could I have survived this long without them?
"Come back to me." I tell them.
And they lower me back to the ground, and I show them my back. They know what to do, they want to do it too. And slower they attached themselves back onto me. Slowly so I won't be hurt, we become one again.
"Close your eyes, Otto." They tell me.
"Go to sleep, Otto."
"We will take control."
And they hold me, and walk us out of here. Away from this place. This cold, hard place. We will return to the city, together. Their voices putting me to sleep, their voices promising me so much. Their voices so soft and loving.
How could I have thought they lied?
Voices in my head, that will never go away. Voices I never want to go away. Voices that would never lie, would never hurt me. Voices in my head that promise me everything, and give it to me. Voices in my head that make everything better.
I give them control like I have so many other times. I forget the life I once had, and the thoughts I had without them. I forget how I could ever live without them. I forget the dreams I held, the dreams I had without them. I forget everything.
And I give them control.
Voices in my head, that make me feel better again.
Otto Octavious gave into their power again, and again and again. The power his arms have over him. The voices in his head that he knows lie, but he doesn't care.
The arms take control again, and make him think it is okay, make him think they will keep their promises, make him think they aren't lying. The arms, the voices that always did this to him.