My life
My parent's never told me about my birth, I don't know if it's normal for parents to tell you how you escaped the confines of your mothers womb. But anything to do with family is such a sore spot for my mum to talk about. When I ask her a question tat even relates to family life she just... pushes me away, and before you say ANYTHING I can't ask my dad. My dad is never at home because he's always at work, shopping, or sleeping. That's pretty much all his life consists of. After 14 years of what I see as sheer hell in life form, I'm an emo, I smoked when I was 12, I listen to heavy metal/rock or anything depressing, and you'll always see me alone. Unless I'm with my one mate who lives near me. I've saved the best till last... So here it is, and it's in the form of 2 words that couldn't mean more to me. Rebecca grant.
The first paragraph was just a little insight into what 7 years of bullying in primary school – secondary school does to you. I have friends but I prefer to be alone as much as I can, with my music, and my thoughts. I've just grown to not give a sh!t any more about what people think of me. I learned to conceal my anger, hatred, and love by year 4. I just let people do what they were going to do to me an the just get on with life. If someone wanted to beat me up I didn't care. I let them do it and then I just got on with life. To give myself something to do in school other than draw and think, I listened in lessons. I then developed a love of English, reading, and became rather fond of maths. Everything started to make sense and all seem so easy to understand and remember. When the rest of the school were struggling with their SATS, I breezed through it.
Now onto some memories. Perhaps one of my fondest of all, was my cat smudgie, or smudge for short. I loved him dearly with all my heart. He meant to the world to me, and as I write this I'm crying. He always used to listen to me, whatever I was rambling on about. He was the only one I could talk to. I remember sometimes I used to sing to him, and he would fall asleep. I always wondered why he had to go. It was like life set me up to break my heart in multiple places. He left a hole in my heart that I can never fill. I have 2 cats now. But I try not to get too close, because I know that afterwards I'll need to fix my heart with sticky tape. I'll have 3 holes to try and fill. And I don't think I can do that. I'm still trying to get over primary school. This is more than telling you, the reader about my life. This is a sort of release for me. I need to get stuff off my chest. This is my way to do it.
Enough of the past, and the present. For once the present came before the past. Now for the future. I don't know what the future will be like for me. All I can do is hope for the best, and work as hard as I can in school. I don't even know what I want to be when I'm older. I do however know that I want cats, and a car. Also I know one more thing. I want to be with Rebecca Grant FOREVER! And one day, I plan to make her mine forever. That day will truly be the happiest day of my life.
This is the end of my autobiography, FOR NOW! Yes, there will be more instalments as stuff happens.