Moving this from my tumblr to here. I hope you like mermaid au's, because I do! Nat was stolen from c2ndy2c1d; he's her OC. What a patoot!
"You confounded, asinine homo-sapiens!"
Edd's screech traveled far and wide, but from where he sat on the outcropping of rocks on the ocean, no one was close enough to hear. It was actually very common for the merman to exhibit this range of bizarre behavior, especially when he noted that a human was littering on his shores. Again!
There was a reason that Edd's beach was the cleanest on the coast, and it had little to do with despicable humans.
Huffing with anger, he dove into the water with nary a splash, his tail-fin flicking so he shot through the water with ease. He could breathe with both his gills and his lungs which was very helpful when human unexpected appeared and forced him into the water. The similarities between the merman and the humans were their upper torsos, which made Edd question whatever gods had designed them. He would never understand their strange legs (he understood the mechanics perfectly; however, they looked simply ridiculous).
He swam up to the surface, allowing his gills to close as he inhaled the clean oxygen around him. Because no one else around here cleans! Peering just above the water, he noted that the receptacle worthy trash was just shy of his reach. He could wait for the tide, but this was an opportune moment. Few came to the beach at night, and if he did not hurry, someone might wander into his path.
Resolved, Edd swam to the shallow area, the earlier warmth of the water now cool as night settled in. His elbows sunk into the smooth sand, shells tickling his skin as the tide grew with each passing surge. His skin prickled, both from the cool of the water and his nerves.
It was now or never.
Edd lunged forward, tail propelling him nearly out of the water. The air, even colder now, made him shiver. His tail thrashed in the shallow water unhappily. He was barely submerged now, but only had a few feet to go until he reached the offending piece of trash.
Filthy filthy humans!
Homo-sapiens cared nothing for their environment; not if it had little impact on them. Why, in twenty years when the ozone layer disintegrated and they all had immunosuppression, Edd would be laughing from deep under the tea. At least until the aquatic animals also began to die as well.
He chuckled at his own thoughts. As sardonic and cynical as he was, there were humans doing their best. He only hoped it would be enough. Gleefully Edd considered this, gritting his teeth as he reached for the discarded can. He wriggled his fingers. "Oh, blast. Come to me, human piece of trash." He huffed and hefted himself forward, arms straining as he managed the last few feet.
There. The tide would rescue him when the time came. For now: Edd reached and picked up the item, scowling at its metallic scent and texture. How did humans create such atrocities that killed much marine life? It was despicable. Why were these people incapable of being satisfied with life as it was; what was the need for technology? If they were truly innovative, merpeople colonies would have been found.
Edd exploded with a loud "ha!" at the very thought.
At the same time, a light flashed from 34 feet away.
Panic seized him immediately. Oh dear oh dear.
Scrambling for the water, Edd dragged his nails into the sand and yanked himself forward. Unluckily for him, his panic caused for a lapse of intelligence; he didn't pay attention to his surroundings and his finger was sliced by the can's sharp edge. Edd squealed as his hand now dripping red.
I can't go in the water now! What of infection?
He glanced at the approaching light, swift now, and the sound that tore from his mouth was agonizing. He could not chance it! Hefting himself forward again, Edd flicked his tail heavily in an attempt to help his momentum.
And it was just his luck that the tide quickly withdrew the moment he reach its very edges. "No!" he called in a last ditch attempt, voice ringing in the clear night. The human's light shone on his head and Edd cursed the very day that he decided this was a good idea. Oh why had he not waited for the tide?
"Don't look at me!" he cried, as if it might stop the inevitable. The bouncing light (oh, what was it called again?) stopped at his chest, and then continued its descent until it reached the shimmering scales of his tail. He heard an intake of breath, the crunching of sand as it came closer, and then a deep "What the hell…"
"I'm— I'm—" Oh mer, what was he to do?!
"Are you one of those weird—I mean, uh— those fanatic who wears… mermaid tails?"
Oh the sweet heavens were shining upon him! It was a common imbecile. "Yes!" he yelped. "Merman thank you." Edd immediately launched into explanation. "I don't usually populate the area here, but I had decided a nightly swim might be, um, fun. As you can see, I miscalculated. Moving these fins with legs is quite difficult."
Mers didn't usually use human language; it was thrilling to talk to another human being.
The human scratched his head, and Edd thought he saw a smattering of dark hair and a chiseled chest. "What are you doing at this time, might I ask?"
"Running with a friend. No crowds after dark." He might have grinned; the light had made Edd's vision in need of adjusting.
"Wonderful! And how was that?" he asked, excited.
"Um, tiring, dude. We're gonna head home soon. Need some help?"
"Oh! Yes, if you'd please. Just grab my fin—er, costume, as it were." He flicked his tail, trying to make it look awkward and gainly. Kevin raised an eyebrow and instead went for his armpits, lifting him pretty easily.
"Jeez, what have you got in there? Your tail sure is heavy drag for plastic. And won't you be cold like that?"
"I—" Edd's mind reeled. "I have a high body temperature. My tail is more than synthetic materials, if you must know. It is handmade." This was the strangest, most amazing conversation Edd had ever had the pleasure in which to partake!
"Oh?" The man brushed his hand over the scales. "It's really smooth. Rad, dude." He sounded impressed but distinctly weirded out.
"Yes, well, thank you for the assistance." The tide had come in. Perfect. "If you will now let me go..."
"Sure you're fine?"
"Yes; perfectly safe," Edd claimed, distracted. The water was calling to him, its sweet siren much like that thing humans like to ingest. Ah, what was it? Chocolate!
His tail flicked with practiced ease and he shot out of Kevin's arms into the water, forgetting completely about his wound—he didn't have time to worry right now when he needed to get away. He darted around an outcropping of rocks and turned towards his home. He was swift like a dolphin, smooth and practiced. Edd sailed through the water, elated to have actually talked to another human being, his previous anger at them completely forgotten.
His head bobbing when he came up and glanced back for one brief moment. The human was standing there, staring out into the ocean. Their eyes met and Edd blinked at the flashlight landed on him. Unexpectedly a grin overtook his face, revealing a gap in Kevin's flashlight. He waved awkwardly and then his back arched as he dove, making little more than a splash.
Kevin blinked, watching for any sign of the man for another five minutes. Three more, and he heard footsteps behind him. "Dude, you were supposed to loop around!" echoed a male voice.
"Kev?" came one for feminine.
"Sorry," Kevin apologized, still staring at the water. "I just saw the weirdest fucking thing."
"Was it a whale?" his male friend grinned. The female snorted.
"Probably his imaginary friend. Let's just go. I'm starving. Who's idea was it to run in the middle of the night anyway?"
"It was yours, doofus. Hey, let's race to the lighthouse!"
"Oh Nazz, you have so much to learn. I never lose a race."
"Oh yeah, Nat? I'll beat your ass any day. Kevin, back me up."
Kevin shot off in lieu of answer, putting the strange meeting in the back of his mind and focusing on the present.
Comments? Questions? Concerns? Review, slave.