Author's Note
This fic is a mini-treat for all my reviewers and the people who faved me or any of my stories. The medical condition in the story is real, though I have altered it a bit to fit my own nefarious purposes, so please be aware that most of the symptoms and the treatment are not real, I made them up. That's the joy of fic writing for a fandom of a futuristic timeline; you can change things with pretty much free reign!
This is a special little gift fic that goes out to you all; you know who you are if I'm on your list somewhere or have sent me a message. Unfortunately there are too many of you to name but rest assured, I DO remember each and every one of you and thank you for your support.
Always There When Needed by Hikishi
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing does not belong to me, however, that doesn't stop me from listing the many reasons as to why it should…
Pairings: 1x2x1
Warnings: Uberangst, Medical Themes, Animosity between pilots (hehe, bet you weren't expecting that!), Tissue Alert. Language (blink and you'll miss it.).
Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance.
ALWAYS THERE WHEN NEEDED
I looked up when Barton entered the office and came to stand over me as I worked on my report for Une. We were currently clearing a bit of a backlog in assignment reports that we hadn't had time to complete, due to the fieldwork assigned to us recently. It had been getting on my nerves. The commander knew how I liked to be on top of things and I had been in a particularly waspish mood the last few weeks as a result. Finally, yesterday, she had allowed us some time to clear our inboxes and work. Barton though, had insisted on taking a break about half an hour ago, saying if he didn't get some time away from the computer, he would throw it across the room.
I knew how he felt, but I continued in his absence, wanting to get this finished today, so I could go home and spend time with Duo. He'd been working non stop for two days, preparing a case file against a drug baron who'd been killing left right and centre. I wanted to be home when he finished work to run him a bath and make tea. After all, I'd been letting my foul mood bleed over at home and as ever, he'd caught the brunt of it. I'm just thankful that he didn't take it too personally, though some of the things I'd yelled at him on Sunday had him avoiding me since. The stupid thing was, it was over the laundry, of all things.
Duo can't do laundry very well. He's taken to cooking like a duck to water, thankfully, but washing clothes properly continues to elude him. We ended up having a shouting match in the lounge, stood either side of a washing basket on the couch. Okay, I was doing the yelling, he was just standing there for the most part, making quiet comments. It was a strange role-reversal, him being the calm one and me angry and distracted. Finally, he'd had enough and just turned slightly pained eyes on me
"Next time I'll make sure I only wash my own clothes then." he'd told me in a cool voice and walked from the room, leaving me with a pile of grey splotched t-shirts and a guilty conscience.
Well tonight it would finally be over and I was be going home to make up with him.
Then I saw the look on Barton's face.
"What is it?" I asked him as I looked up from my third to last report. I didn't want to be disturbed, not this close to finishing.
"Duo's sleeping." He told me bluntly, like Trowa always does. It wasn't the words, but the worried expression that registered with me.
"Sleeping? What, here?" That was strange. He shouldn't be tired, he'd slept nearly twelve hours last night, had gone to bed at seven.
My tall partner nodded sagely.
"Wufei say's he's been quiet all day, and exhausted. He fell asleep about an
hour ago at his desk."
"Did you wake him?" I asked, already rising to my feet. I got a headshake as an answer.
By the time we'd got upstairs, Chang was already heading our way down the corridor.
"Yuy." He greeted tersely as always.
Wufei still barely tolerates me, though he seems to have settled in to being Duo's partner easily. No one was more surprised than I. The two of them couldn't be more different, yet Wufei will still do almost anything for him, and though they constantly argue, it's never serious. On the other hand, he and I tend to ignore each other unless absolutely necessary. And most of the time, Duo's there to act as a buffer. Personally I think Chang thinks I don't deserve Duo. Sometimes I'm inclined to agree with him.
"Chang. What's the matter? Barton tells me Duo is asleep."
"Yes," He began to lead the way back to their office, and I followed the swinging ponytail. We stood at the door and gazed inside. I saw Duo, just slumped over the desk arms folded underneath his head. There were dark circles under his eyes and I couldn't for the life of me understand why they were there. Duo covets sleep. He always sleeps in on weekends and tries his hardest to get six hours every night. And the last month he's being going to bed early, because of me. Yet here he was, looking thin and sickly. How could I have not noticed? "He fell asleep and looked so exhausted, I didn't have the heart to wake him."
A glare was directed at me
Translation: Why haven't you been taking care of him, you prick?
I ignored him, focusing my attention on the obliviously slumbering agent.
Shouldering my way past the both of them, I went immediately to Duo's desk and crouched beside his chair. He was breathing normally, a good thing, and he just seemed to be catching a nap really, but I knew the difference. Duo would have been alert on a nap, and woken up as soon as he heard us at the door. I stroked a bit of hair out of his face, before calling out softly to him.
"Duo? Come on, you shouldn't be sleeping right now."
He murmured something unintelligible and rocked his head a bit on his arms, trying to dislodge my questing fingers, but not putting enough effort in. I spoke again, in that same low tone, making it easy for him to track my voice. I wake him this way because loud noises and hostile sounds startle him and I've ended up staring down the barrel of his gun a few times as a result. Duo is as much a soldier as I. He squeezed his eyes tight for a moment, then blinked them open slowly, unaware.
"'Ro?" he managed groggily, lifting his head as if it was a ton weight. I didn't like his lethargy at all. "Whassup?" He rubbed his right eye with a closed fist, looking like a small child and I smiled cautiously.
"You fell asleep." I pointed out calmly, moving back onto my haunches, giving him room to come around and notice where he was. Another thing I wasn't pleased about. He seemed confused over his surroundings. This was definitely not normal behaviour for him. I was worried, but no way was I going to let it show. "At your desk. Are you alright?"
He sat up a little straighter following my information, but still didn't seem to be firing on all cylinders, but that said, it was better than the alternative.
"Sleepin'? In work?" I confirmed his words with a short bob of my head. He spotted our partners just inside the door and colour rose in his cheeks, embarrassed to be caught doing such a thing. "Sorry guys," He yawned, and my eyes narrowed. "Just a little tired."
I didn't believe his words for a second. Duo is a master at distraction and manoeuvres that have you believing what he wants you to believe. He's good at it. But I'm better. Not at the evasiveness, but I've watched him long enough to tell when he's trying to mislead me.
I raised a hand surreptitiously to check his forehead, and sure enough, an elevated temperature. Damn. I knew something wasn't right. Duo jerked away from my hands - too late, might I add, and muttered something under his breath.
"Fever." I said to the Chang and Barton. "Low grade. Do you feel ill Duo?"
"No," He sighed, "Just tired."
Wufei took charge immediately, in his rough way. If nothing else, I can always count on him to do the right thing concerning his friend and partner.
"Take him home Yuy. He's not going to get better sitting here."
The brusque statement served to snap Duo awake a little more and he glared halfheartedly at his partner.
"I don' need to go home." He retorted, smothering another yawn. "Jus' need a cup of coffee."
Another telling sign of Duo's state is when his carefully constructed accent starts dropping into L2 slang. He hates that, but has no control over it when he's tired or pissed.
"You do need to go home. You're of no use to me sprawled across the office snoring." Came the gentle rebuke.
Duo just couldn't come up with a reply to that. He always has something to shoot back. He's witty, and has a quicksilver tongue, and never passes up an opportunity to push his partner's buttons. Instead he just sighed and leant his head on my shoulder. I grimaced, hoping whatever was wrong with him was minor, and a day of rest would cure it.
I took him home, stopping to get carry out on the way. Duo fell asleep again in the car, and I had to walk beside him to the house we shared. His slightly drunken looking weaving might have been comical if I hadn't know the last time he'd touched alcohol was six weeks ago at Trowa's birthday party.
I steered him to sit down, and in the time it took me to get a couple of plates and glasses from the kitchen, he was nearly out cold on the couch. I found this no more comforting.
That sofa has to be the most uncomfortable piece of furniture in the Earthsphere. Duo hated falling asleep on it with a passion, as he always awoke with a sore back. Yet here he was, draped over the arm, braid trailing behind him. I roused him reluctantly, and he picked at his food before shuffling off to the bedroom. It must be stress, I concluded twenty minutes later as I scraped our plates and shoved the leftovers in the fridge. I thought maybe he might be mad or upset with me as well, and his sleeping a lot must be his way of avoiding talking about it. That didn't explain the fever though. The stress option seemed much more likely.
I vowed to ease his worries and have a lazy weekend, just the two of us. I'd raid the local movie store and stock up, unplug the phone and spend the weekend in bed with him. Duo would probably like that. I'd make all his favourite foods and give him a back rub…yes, it sounded like a good plan.
I left off the rest of the tidying for another day and showered before sliding into bed. Duo didn't so much as stir when I cuddled up beside him, but I didn't question it. After all, he was a little under the weather. I weighed my chances of getting him to stay home tomorrow as I drifted off, smirking wryly, knowing that I'd have a better chance of convincing Une I was her long lost uncle twice removed.
The next morning saw me trying to get Duo out of bed. He had barely moved all night and didn't look any better as he sat in the kitchen, staring blearily into his coffee. He didn't seem to have the strength to even yawn, but his fever wasn't any higher, and he simply refused to respond when I asked him what he wanted for breakfast. It wasn't like he was outright ignoring me though, I know Duo, and it looked as if his mind was merely somewhere other than here, so I let that drop. I suddenly realised that he was still exhausted, and wished I hadn't wakened him to begin with. I suggested he just go back to bed, but he just stared at me and after a moment, shook his head.
I drove him again, not wanting him to be behind the wheel in the state he was in. I would have ordered him to call in sick, but I respected his space and didn't push it. I'd done enough damage lately.
When we arrived at work, I sought out Chang, and found him in the break room eating his breakfast. He's always the first here. I braved the disdainful glare and pulled him aside, willing to do anything for my lover.
"I want you to keep and eye on him today." I told him quietly. "He slept all last night, but he still looks tired. I think it might just be stress, but I'm not sure."
If there's one thing Wufei and I agree on, it's Duo. We partner up when it comes to his welfare, and when he's injured and I can't be with him, his partner is. I can't stand Chang Wufei, but I trust him with Duo's life. They're best friends and he's almost as good as me at seeing through our human glue stick.
"I will." He confirmed, with a short dip of his head, before striding away quickly. My mission accomplished, I wandered into my office to start work. Chang would notify me of any changes, so I put Duo's poor condition on the back burner for the moment, having work to complete.
Four or five days passed in a blur. I tried to implement my lazy weekend strategy, but saw the attempt fail badly. Duo just wanted to sleep, and being so worried about our relationship and his stress, I let him. At first I thought he was punishing me, but as Monday drew closer, I noticed that he wasn't doing anything remotely cruel or vengeful. He was quiet, but not withdrawn, and would sit through one movie, but by the midway point of a second one, lethargy would catch up with him, and he'd stretch out for a nap on the couch.
I had to change our plans on Sunday, and took him on a walk to the park. I was brisk out, yet when we stopped for a picnic, he merely curled up on the blanket and fell asleep. My concern for him, was only escalating, until I found myself calling Sally Po the next morning. She listened to my worries, and asked me to bring Duo in for a chat, stating that she'd try to find out what was wrong. I hung up, feeling the little knot in my stomach loosen. Duo liked Sally, so he'd most likely talk to her.
I waited outside the exam room in her office downtown a few hours later. I'd called in to work late for the both of us, and was currently pacing the small reception whilst Duo had his check up. He'd already been in there forty five minutes, and the best thing I could come up with as an explanation was that he must have a lot to get off his chest. You can imagine my surprise then, when Sally stepped out of the examination room to announce that she'd called an ambulance.
"What for?" I asked, stunned. Duo needed an ambulance? My first thought was Oh god, he's dying! my second, Why does Sally look so calm?
She must have noticed the emotions flitting across my face, because she laid a comforting hand on my arm.
"He'll be fine, Heero, but he is very sick. The paramedics are just a precaution."
"What's the matter with him?" I demanded, still in the dark, and hating it.
"Duo has contracted an disease known as the Sleeping Sickness. It used to be a common ailment in Africa, carried by a creature known as the Tsetse fly but is rarely seen nowadays. It's mutated and changed greatly over time, so someone could carry this illness for decades without any symptoms occurring at all. The disease has evolved over the years. It's treatable, but even the treatment has side effects that must run their course. Once we get him to the hospital, we can begin fighting this. I have to warn you though, it's a long recovery period. It'll be months before he'll be able to do much of anything independently."
I wanted to ask more questions, but found there was no time, as the medics had arrived. It was all so…anticlimactic. They didn't rush. Duo was still awake and talking when they let me in to see him as they were getting him ready. He simply sat on the exam table and allowed them to insert an I.V. into his hand.
My boyfriend was calm and accepting. The E.M.T.s brought in a wheelchair, which seemed a pointless gesture, as Duo could walk fine, but he moved to sit in it nonetheless, and they took him to the ambulance. Sally and I climbed in to ride along, and she explained some more on the way. Duo's bloodstream was rife with this disease, and activity exacerbated it greatly, making him tired. Treatment was a very delicate process, and required a lot of round the clock care.
I forgot all about Wufei, Trowa and work, until I was reminded gently by Duo to call them and apprise them of the situation. Une came first, followed by Wufei, as He was Maxwell's partner, and then Trowa. I also left a message with Quatre, telling them to come down when they could get away. Within an hour, the love of my life was installed in a private room inside the intensive care unit, and begging me to run interference.
"I don't want anyone here while I'm…you know." He said softly, but firmly, holding my hand. The contact was for my benefit only, and we both knew it. Duo knew I wasn't handling this situation, I knew I couldn't handle this situation, selfishly letting him set out the plan and give the instructions. I couldn't deal, I was no good at things like this. So I simply nodded. "Only you Heero. I'm gonna lose enough of my dignity in here. I don't want the guys to see me unable to even breathe on my own. It's not that I think they'll see me as weak, it's that I don't want to be embarrassed like that. Please don't let it happen."
"I won't." I told him, raising is hand to my lips.
"You're going to be the one making decisions here Heero. And I won't be able to let you know if something bothers me. You'll have to trust your instincts on this one. I know you won't fail me."
This is my weakness. I can follow orders perfectly, but decision making eludes me. I dither and worry. Duo evaluates our choices mostly. It's something I've been learning to do on a small scale, and I wasn't comfortable with the sudden jump from 'what shall we have for dinner?' to 'do I let Sally try to remove the respirator?'. I didn't let it show though. Duo had enough to cope with now. He needed me to be his backup, and fully intended to be there.
He gave me more instructions as Sally bustled around, setting up equipment nearby, and I focused on him, disturbed by the amount of medical paraphernalia appearing in the room.
Finally he was ready to speak with the others. They had arrived nearly an hour and a half ago, and had been waiting all this time to see him. Duo greeted them cheerfully, and apprised them of the situation and his wishes. They all fought it, but he won the argument and I stood by him throughout. They didn't seem to understand, excepting that damn Chang, but acquiesced on the condition that I would provide daily reports. Sally also garnered support when she suggested that Duo keep in contact with them via the vidphone whilst he could communicate. He agreed, finding it suitable as well. They spent most of the rest of the day with him, before he finally kicked them out, and gently forbade them from visiting him until he was again well enough to see them.
It was a heart wrenching farewell, but we were all assured that though distressing, this illness would not last, and Duo would recover once the treatment had run its course.
Sally allowed me the use of a nearby resident's room, it being unused for the next few months, and I took the opportunity to run home and pack a few things. I made a mental note to ask Barton to stop by in the next few days and take care of the perishables in the fridge, empty the freezer, defrost it, and dust the apartment regularly. It seemed such a mundane thing, in the face of the whole situation, but nonetheless, a necessary task to complete. I couldn't very well bring Duo home to a mould infested cesspit instead of an apartment. He would still be recovering by the time they let him out, and so things like this just could not be ignored, not when his health was at stake.
--
The first few days were uneventful, as Sally expected them to be. She'd started running all sorts of tests during the day though. Duo's medication was being supplied via the drip, and he seemed to be more alert. Every morning, afternoon and evening, a nurse would do a prick test, to see if he still had feeling in his extremities. This was followed by a blood test, reflex test, breathing exercises, and a speech test. It was boring and tedious, but after the first week when Duo's reflexes seemed to become erratic, I understood their importance. The staff needed to know when to make changes to his care.
Half way through the second week, and he was admitting to a pins and needles sensation in his legs. That day Sally took me aside and let me know just how dangerous this treatment could be without proper protocols and care being taken. The treatment wasn't dangerous, she reminded me, as long as extreme caution was used throughout. We spoke to the guys every day at around three, after he'd had his second round of checks and lunch. Duo stayed constantly upbeat about it all, but admitted to me in confidence that this was testing his trust to the limits. Duo did not have a lot of faith, but he did trust me to do what was right for him.
We got Sally to draft up a contract so I could make decisions about his care in his stead and we both signed it, witnessed by the hospital's lawyer.
As long as I didn't fail him, he would be alright.
By the end of the week, I had informed Une that I would not be returning to work for an indefinite amount of time. She had protested, until I just completely ignored her and walked away. Luckily enough, Sally had been standing nearby, and took over the conversation. Une would not have accepted my demand if she hadn't stepped in to tell the commander that there would be no set time frame for Duo's situation. It had been such a long time since they'd seen this illness, and the treatment period pretty much worked on a ad hoc basis. Duo could be in each stage for either a day or a month, and they simply wouldn't know until it happened.
Tuesday morning dawned and we found he'd reached paralysis in his lower body, and the catheter had to go in. Duo was uncomfortable for a full twelve hours before he settled down.
Although still able to swallow, his diet was reduced to liquids due to this. He was constantly bored when he was awake, as he wasn't able to do much now, so I brought in books, cards, and vid cubes to keep him occupied. He seemed worried that it would annoy me to spend so much time with him, but to be honest, I was scared at how close we'd come to losing him to this sickness.
It slowed down for a while and we relaxed, until one day at the end of his first month in hospital, when his arms began to fail him. Duo gave me this complete look of panic and I was instantly stroking his hair and soothing him.
"It's all right." I told him. "I'm right here, and not going anywhere. I'll take care of everything, you'll be fine."
I could see him struggling with his emotions.
"Thank you." He told me, his voice thick with the tears he refused to let fall. "For being here. I need you more than anything Heero."
Within forty eight hours he lost complete mobility, though he could still talk okay. It was another six days before Sally decided she needed my permission to insert a naso-gastric tube. Duo was losing his speech and we'd resorted to blinking as communication. I read to him, and had the nurses bring in his favourite comic books so he could look at the pictures as I lay beside him and read. We were fast approaching the hardest stage, and I was nauseous at the very thought.
Sally's team were good, especially one young nurse by the name of Karen. She was a short girl of Polish descent, no older than twenty, with a great sense of humour. She quickly became a favourite of Duo's when she did the checks, teasing the 'lazybones in the bed' and fanning her face in a you smell gesture when she wanted me to go take a shower. I'd ask her to sit with him when I left his side for impromptu bathroom and food breaks and return to find her flirting with him, pretending to make me jealous. By this point he was being watched constantly and had been hooked up to a heart monitor. Sally was now leaving nothing to chance.
We all stayed in close quarters for unimaginably long hours. I continued to call our friends every day to tell them Duo was doing well, and missing them all. I wouldn't speak of his inability to move or communicate, keeping my promise to him. I respected his choice, and over time, they had come to respect it too.
When Sally said Duo had reached the final stage before recovery, I was relieved, until I realised what she was telling me.
It was time for me to let them set up the respirator.
Duo was starting to struggle with his breathing. I spent the rest of the day giving him little kisses and whispering endearments in his ear. I wanted him to know I still loved him, I wasn't leaving him, and promise him lots of tonsil action when we were better again. I'd begun to refer to his recovery as ours, making sure he knew that I understood and we were in this together.
He fought the tube at first, even though it had been set only to assist his breathing at first. Being on a respirator is hard when you can still work your lungs even to a small degree. Your body has to get accustomed to the pattern of the machine, as it's different from your own breathing pattern. Nurse Gerthyn explained everything to me about the technology used to keep Duo alive whilst the drug ran it's course. He was an invaluable source of knowledge and was always happy to talk to Duo and I about the medical terms used around us.
As Duo's breathing worsened, the respirator's setting was changed slowly from assisting to working. Sally assured me that though he was no longer able to do anything, he was still very much alert when awake, and could hear everything. Karen had taped his eyes, explaining that it would damage them if they remained open constantly. I had taken over a lot of his care now, and helped them bathe and turn him to prevent bedsores. I did his hair twice daily, joking that I had a hair fetish.
It was a shameless lie really. I knew it relaxed him to have his hair brushed and I was finding this particular action calming myself. Karen and I played cards together and conversed, asking Duo questions even though we knew he couldn't answer. I wanted him to feel included though, and constantly reported what was going on around us. I also began to play music instead of movies, thinking it might be frustrating for him to only be able to hear the dialogue.
Sally usually came and sat with us in the evenings whilst I read aloud, asking questions about the stories, something Duo tended to do a lot. Benj…Nurse Gerthyn made a point of telling a different joke or riddle each day, and every morning an older nurse- I forget her name, brunette, long legs- would stand by the bedside with her own personal wake up call.
"Good morning Duo, It's eight forty five on Friday the ninth of September. Today it's raining cats and dogs outside, and it's time to take your blood test."
She would report to him like this every day without fail, the date time and temperature, sometimes even what was on the front page of the Sanc Times.
I'd dismissed it as something small, but it turned out to be very important for the both of us.
So determined was I to succeed at the role Duo had asked me to fulfil, I didn't realise how much the circumstances brought on by this illness would change me. I became easy-going, curious, and more confident. I was openly affectionate around Duo and got quite friendly with his care team. I took lunches with them in the cafeteria and asked after their families. I came to realise that I could handle this situation, but I was extremely lucky to have such wonderful people looking after us. If you were to ask me if I felt bored or lonely at this time, I would have vehemently denied it, but secretly, I was worried and had never felt this isolated. It helped during those longest days to know that sometime soon Duo would be okay though.
It hurt me to see him so still and silent. He isn't as active as you'd believe him to be though, really. Duo talks a lot to fill the air, but contrary to popular belief, he doesn't bounce about like a beach ball either. He doesn't move a lot in his sleep either, however I came to miss holding him against me and feeling his head nuzzle against my shoulder every so often.
--
The twenty first day of the pseudo-coma dawned grey and drizzly. I wasn't expecting anything, but as I wandered into Duo's room, my arms were seized and I was dragged into a hug by Karen.
"He's coming back!" She cried joyously, her tiny hands already tugging me to his bedside, chattering non-stop. The tape had been removed from his eyes, I noticed, and blinked. I couldn't see any change, what were they talking about?
Then his lashes brushed softly on his cheeks and slowly lifted to half mast! It had to be the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and felt my breath leave my body with a soft whoosh. Whilst the rest of the staff celebrated in the background, Leggy brown haired reporter nurse did her job flawlessly and gave us the date and time, smiling slightly throughout.
Later on that day Sally warned us that recovery would be an arduous process. Duo seemed disappointed to learn that he wouldn't be able to jump up and walk right after he regained the use of his legs. Though we had been exercising his muscles to prevent them from atrophying, he would need physical therapy. But that came after he would be given the all clear. That sobered us, but each small accomplishment Duo began to make in the following weeks was treated as a victory.
The breathing tube was the first to go of course. Benj noticed he'd been struggling to let the machine do the work and reduced the airflow pressure accordingly. This happened whilst I was asleep, but Duo was forced to keep the tube in until I woke up and consent for him to have it taken out. He came up coughing and groaning, making me smile and kiss him once he'd settled enough. At least we knew his voice had returned at the same time, though he had trouble controlling his mouth movements and didn't like to hear his own barely decipherable words. We let him be with that one.
After all, his mouth was getting plenty of action as I could not restrain myself from kissing him at every opportunity.
Soon he had enough strength in his upper body to flop himself over ungracefully. He was embarrassed at his complete lack of co-ordination though no one laughed at him or teased him.
It took a while for him to regain the use of his legs and he was finding it hard to see himself like this. He would not suffer defeat though, instead grimly fighting every day to see them move. His body looked wasted and thin but he understood when Sally explained that intravenous nutrition is nowhere as good as the real thing. His feeding tube did not come out until the last week of his hospital stay. He almost cried with relief when I presented him with a bowl of strawberry jelly and promptly inhaled the meagre contents of the bowl. He was back to almost normal now, mobile but weak, and with a small appetite. It didn't dissuade Sally from setting a release date for us.
Duo finally felt well enough to invite our friends back and I shamelessly used my connections with Quatre to provide the care team with private party at one of the most exclusive clubs in Sanc. They surprised us first though by presenting us with a scrapbook of Duo's stay in hospital.
Brunette Nurse…I think her name was Rhona…brunette nurse had stuck in photos and scraps of paper, copies of parts of Duo's charts, along with his medical tag, and Karen had painstaking decorated each page. Everyone who'd played a role in this had written a little note and signed the book, and their pictures and names were in the back.
Duo held onto that scrapbook like a limpet and wouldn't even let go when Benj and I lifted him into the wheelchair that was to be his ride out of here.
Sally walked us to the car and gave us both a hug. She cried for Duo and I, admitting that she had been scared throughout this whole ordeal. I didn't bother fighting the tears then, and before I could stop myself, we were both clinging to each other and bawling our lungs out in the middle of the parking lot. Duo just watched in amazement. He was not used to seeing this new side of me.
I rushed us home and closed the door behind us, not stopping to even shoot the bolt on it, focusing with pure single-mindedness on getting us into our bed together, paying no attention to the cleanliness of the apartment because I knew Trowa had stayed true to his word and kept it in pristine condition.
Duo didn't protest as we snuggled down together under the quilt. I knew he was far from sleepy. On the other hand, the last few months had taken their toll on me and I fell asleep within minutes, content with my lover lying atop me where I could feel his heart beating steadily and his breath whispering across my chest.
"I was so afraid of making the wrong decision." I admitted in a whisper once I woke up later. Duo squeezed my hand and smiled softly.
"I wasn't." He replied, his tone low and confident. "You looked into my eyes and knew what I wanted. You looked into my soul and knew what I needed. You listened to my heart and you spoke the words I couldn't."
He traced my cheek with a finger and gazed at me in awe.
"You cried for me Heero. You made all the right decisions."
End Always There When Needed