The Doctor couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this way about someone; centuries, likely; at least a few regenerations ago. It was as exhilarating as it was frustrating. It had started out just with him noticing little things about her that he'd never found quite so… appealing in his other companions. The way she'd flick her long blonde hair over her shoulder thoughtlessly, the way she laughed, the way her soft eyes sparkled, and don't even get him started on that little grin of hers where she'd capture her tongue between her teeth while her eyes twinkled with mirth.
All of these things and more did things to the Doctor that he was extremely uncertain about. He'd stand in the control room for hours after Rose Tyler would go to bed, just pondering and debating as he'd turn knobs and flick switches, the TARDIS humming in the back of his mind all the while.
Why is she so different from the rest? That thought would pass through his mind at least a dozen times a night, and he'd end up adjusting his leather jacket and pulling at his ear as he leaned against the console, trying to figure it out. It wasn't that his other companions weren't special, because each and every one of them had been absolutely fantastic in their own way, but Rose was just… well, Rose. That was a terrible explanation, but he couldn't think of one any better than that. The things that set her apart from the rest were things that were just purely her. She had more compassion than the rest had; not that they'd been uncompassionate, because that wasn't the case at all, not in the slightest; and she had more of a sense of humor; she laughed at even his worst jokes; and she was… tender. That last bit made the Doctor sigh and rub his face, for it was what made him feel the most strongly.
He had nightmares. He had for years now, ever since the Time War. Nightmares filled with the cries of men and women, and the terrified screams of children; the panic of his people, doomed at his own hand. The dreams were never exactly the same, but that one detail never changed. There was always panic, always terror, and it was always his fault. Oh, his head loved to change it up once and a while; a dalek victory here, a few of his own deaths there. No matter how much they may change, they were always consistent, and, one night, Rose overheard his shouts.
He'd been clutching his pillow tightly, a particularly nasty nightmare taunting him. It had been a few weeks since Rose started traveling with him, and it was the first time he really needed to sleep. Time Lords don't need to sleep as much as humans, and he'd explained that to her on her first night when she'd bid him "sweet dreams." But now the Doctor was sleeping, and his dreams were far from sweet. When he awoke with a start, the first thing he saw was her face, anxiously hovering over him with worry etched into her pretty features. The room had been dark when he shut his eyes, but now it was softly lit, as it usually was when he awoke from a nightmare; the light was the TARDIS's way of trying to wake him on her own. Yet, this time it hadn't been the light that roused him, it had been Rose; her gentle hands gripping his shoulders, shaking him lightly, and her voice softly urging him to, "wake up… Doctor, please, wake up…"
After staring at her for a long moment, his eyes still wide from the horror of his dreams, he'd let himself sag under her hands, the muscles in his shoulders rippling as they relaxed. Somehow she was able to calm him just by being there, and he couldn't understand it. Yet, in a way, he could; he was too busy taking her in to think about what he'd just witnessed in his head. She was prettier than usual in the dim lighting, and there was nothing masking how beautiful she truly was. No lipstick, no eye makeup; nothing. Pure Rose Tyler was sitting on the edge of his bed, chewing her lips with worry, her blonde hair a mess, and she was clad in blue pajama pants and an old Coldplay t-shirt. She was beautiful; beautiful, and speaking to him.
"…Doctor. Are you listening?"
He blinked a few times to clear his head properly, sitting up and brushing a hand over his head. "Sorry; what was that?"
"I asked if you're okay," she repeated herself, looking genuinely concerned, and he'd nodded quickly.
"Fine, fine. Just a nightmare. Nothing to worry over."
He'd flashed a smile, but she clearly hadn't bought it. Reaching out and resting a hand on his cheek, she shook her head. "Tell me."
After a moment of hesitation, he did. She already knew about the Time War, but she didn't know how much it really haunted him. When he finished confiding the events of his nightmare in her, she'd shocked him by wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and balancing her chin on his shoulder in an embrace. Her scent was overwhelming, and he'd had to blink a few times to clear his head yet again before hugging her back, almost afraid that he might break her. He was big and burly, and she was so soft and warm and delicate. Yet, the motion felt right. It wasn't the first time they had hugged, but it was the first time that it made him feel something slightly more than friendship. It was a hug wrapped in compassion and care, and the Doctor hadn't felt that from another person in years. He didn't want it to end, but it did, all too soon.
"You should head back to bed," he told her, letting his arms drop when hers did, "Big day tomorrow."
"Bigger than Slitheen or the end of the Earth?" she'd asked skeptically with a small smile, and he'd smiled widely in return.
"Every day is a big day, Rose Tyler," he'd informed her, his smile widening when hers did, "Full of promise and adventure."
That had been what felt like a lifetime ago. They'd had plenty of adventures since then, and his feelings toward her had only grown. What was he to do about it? He couldn't just come out and say, "Rose Tyler, I care about you," could he? It would be too blunt. He'd look like a fool. Besides; he didn't even know if she felt the same way, and he didn't want to risk her not. Then things would become horribly awkward and he'd have no choice but to take her home. He didn't want to lose her.
He never got a chance to tell her, anyway. First Jack came along, making him certain Rose could never want him in comparison; but that didn't stop him from trying to keep them apart; and then they all woke up on the Game Station. Then the daleks showed up, and everything started moving horribly fast. The cogs in his head started turning the longer he and Rose were apart, and seeing her "die" made them snap into place. He cared about this girl, this little human girl with her soft skin and her warm heart, more than anything, and he never told her. So, of course, when it came down to it either being her life or his, of course he sacrificed himself. The thing that scared him was how quickly she had been willing to do the same.
… . … . … . … . … . …
One new face, new hair, new teeth and a chopped off hand later, the Doctor realized his feelings hadn't changed. The regeneration process could be tricky; a few times in the past he'd forgotten entirely about various companions, and he still felt as though there were ones he didn't remember. But nothing had changed in the department of Rose Tyler. If anything, the feelings he felt about the caring girl who wanted to have Christmas dinner with him had grown stronger. She was just as pretty as he remembered, if not more. Yet, now he found it difficult to gaze at her and take her in. His previous self had been able to do so with no trouble, but when he looked at Rose Tyler now, his hearts both beat faster and he felt an unshakeable longing to be closer to her.
Danger still hurled itself at them from all directions, and the Doctor felt more protective of his companion than ever. This new body had a temper, and it felt as though the only times when it truly flared up were when Rose was being threatened. He had an overwhelming urge to keep her safe, and it was likely because the reason he died the last time was to do just that. Whereas his previous self was born from war, his current self was born from… love.
Yes; love. The Doctor was certain of it, and he grew more and more certain every day. No one made him smile or laugh quite like Rose Tyler, and nothing else could explain the way his stomach often did little flippy floppies when she touched him. He was all too aware of this new body's new lips, and how frequently he found himself wanting to bend down just a bit and press them to hers. Was he a good kisser? A good nibbler? A good shagger?
The time that thought occurred to him, he nearly choked on the plate of chips they were sharing in the TARDIS kitchen. He'd been eating rather slowly, far too focused on the way her lips and teeth closed around each chip when she took a bite. A part of him thought she did it on purpose just to taunt him, and that had been when he'd started wondering about how good he would be at making Rose Tyler purr and sigh with pleasure.
Why in the name of Rassilon was he thinking things like that? It was hardly appropriate, and such thoughts had never crossed his mind about a companion before. Oh, don't think he was a prude; the Doctor was far from being a blushing virgin; but there had always been an uncrossable line between him and how far he would ever go with someone he brought aboard the TARDIS. He would never step over that and move past friendship, because he would surely lose them, and he was painfully aware of the fact that he might one day lose Rose Tyler. He was in no hurry for that to happen, which was why he kept his mouth shut. For the same reason that his old self wouldn't tell her that he cared, he would never tell her that he loved her.
Of course, he kept himself at bay mostly by telling himself day and night that she already knew. She had to know; he didn't exactly try to hide it. He never said it aloud, but he didn't put much effort into masking his feelings. In fact, the Doctor liked to be a bit flamboyant in that department, and what was the simplest excuse for doing so?
Valentine's Day.
It was the morning after their 1950s excursion, and the Doctor had instructed that the TARDIS tap into Rose's mind; just a little; to make sure she didn't have any nightmares about losing her face, and to keep her asleep so that none of the noise he was making would wake her up. She deserved a good night's rest, and he was certain she hadn't slept in more than twice since she started traveling with him.
He'd landed the TARDIS as carefully as he possibly could in Paris, France, quite proud of his little idea. What better place to spend Valentine's Day than in the City of Love? Of course, the Doctor knew better than anyone that Valentine's Day wasn't really romantic; its history was actually quite tragic and gory; but Rose was born into a time where it was a day of love and affection, so he would follow those engrained standards. While she was still sleeping, he'd snuck out of the TARDIS and retrieved several fresh red roses, unsure if she would find it endearing or impossibly cheesy; roses for Rose.
Dropping one every few feet down the hall leading away from her bedroom, he'd continued right up until he reached the TARDIS door, mentally telling her to let Rose wake up as he hopped outside to finish his plan.
When Rose did, in fact, wake up, she wondered how long she'd been sleeping. She hadn't felt this rested in months. Digging herself out of bed, she quickly went about getting dressed, settling for a blue t-shirt and a pair of jeans, doing her hair up in curls. It was shorter than it used to be, and even though it had been months, she was still getting used to it. It made her look older though, and she appreciated that.
Upon opening her door, the first thing that she encountered was the smell of flowers, and she nearly stepped on a red rose positioned carefully outside her door when she moved out into the hall. Furrowing her brow, Rose noticed that the entire hallway was littered with them. What was the Doctor up to?
The trail of flowers drew her straight down the ramp and to the door, and she hesitated before pulling it open, her eyes widening.
The TARDIS was positioned right in the middle of an outdoor section of a restaurant, and off in the distance Rose could see the lights of what was unmistakably the Eiffel Tower in the night skyline. Paris? Turning her head, she caught sight of the Doctor sitting at an elaborately crafted cast iron table, his hair messy and his glasses perched on his nose as he fiddled with a single red rose between his fingertips. He flashed a smile when she finally set eyes on him, and her stomach fluttered with butterflies. What was he doing?
"Happy Valentine's Day, Rose Tyler," he greeted her, his smile bright as her name rolled off of his tongue, and her eyes widened. Valentine's Day? What in the world? Of all the things they could be doing today, he chose a romantic little dinner in Paris on the cheesiest Earth holiday imaginable?
"Valentine's Day?" she squeaked, and he shrugged, still toying with the rose.
"I haven't had a Valentine's Day in a few regenerations. Thought it'd be a nice change. Hungry?"
Hesitantly stepping out onto the cobblestone ground, Rose shut the TARDIS door behind her and glanced down at her attire. This place looked classy, and here she was, dressed like she ought to be frequenting a McDonalds. At least the Doctor was wearing his suit; he didn't stick out like a sore thumb. Yet, after taking a sweeping glance, she realized they were the only two people here, outside and in.
"Are we alone?" she questioned, stepping toward the table, and the Doctor nodded, rising to his feet and offering her the flower.
"Quite right. I know the cook; he makes lobster bisque that'll make your taste buds sing, and he owed me a favour. The place is all ours."
Looking around once more, Rose accepted the rose from him with a small smile, peeking up at him.
"What's with the roses? Trying to be funny?"
"I thought it was cute," he objected with a huff and a pout, and she laughed, shaking her head and dipping her nose to sniff the flower.
"It is," she assured him, and he perked up again at that, smiling and pulling out her chair, which matched the elaborate table, for her to sit.
"Thank you," she said before sitting, and he smirked as he carefully pushed her in.
"I think you mean 'merci'," he whispered, and his lips were close enough to her ear to make her shiver, "and, in that case, vous êtes les bienvenus, Rose Tyler."
She watched as he walked back over to his own seat, his glasses catching the light, and she tucked her hair behind her ear as she let the rose rest on the table beside her empty wine glass. Wine? They were going to dine and wine?
A few moments later, the chef that the Doctor had mentioned came out of the indoor portion of the restaurant with two bowls and a bottle of red wine on a tray, setting the soup down in front of each of them and filling their glasses nearly to the brim. After thanking him and taking a bite, Rose had realized that, while the soup was delicious, it was extremely rich, and the wine was, too. The movies don't lie when they say that the French like their rich foods.
The Doctor had laughed, nearly choking on his sip of wine when he caught sight of her expression. "Took you a little off guard?" he asked when he finally was able to speak again, dabbing at his lips with a napkin, and Rose nodded, taking a breath and running her tongue over the roof of her mouth.
"Just a bit," she managed, and he grinned, shaking his head. He had meant to warn her about how rich the food was, but he'd gotten to looking at her and lost all train of thought. By then it had been too late, but he supposed it was good for a laugh. Poor girl.
"The dessert isn't very different," he informed her, grinning all the while, "The chocolate mousse in the richest you'll find likely in the entire city. Pierre's quite proud of it, and you never leave here still hungry."
"Chocolate is an entirely different story," she remarked as she continued to eat, taking smaller bites with a slight smile, "It's always good, no matter how rich or how bitter. It's chocolate."
He chuckled at that, not about to argue with her, because he knew all too well where Rose Tyler stood when it came to chocolate. She was the dictionary image of a 'chocoholic', and it was a miracle that there was ever any left in the TARDIS. Over the few years they'd known each other now, she'd devoured chocolate cakes from ancient planets, cookies from far away galaxies, and other treats he'd been saving for special occasions. The handy thing about the TARDIS fridge was that no food ever spoiled, no matter how long he kept it in there. The disadvantage was that Rose had eaten nearly every bite of chocolate dessert in sight without sparing him more than a few crumbs. Not that he minded; if he had to share his chocolate with someone, he was happy it was her.
"You and your chocolate…" he murmured with a soft grin, and she blushed, shaking her head as she finished off her soup.
"Last I checked, it wasn't a crime to like dessert," she muttered, and he smiled, lightly nudging her foot under the table as he sipped at his wine, waiting for their dessert to arrive.
"Never said it was."
His foot playing with hers under the table made Rose sit up straighter, and she hesitated before bumping his back with her own, lifting her glass to sip at her own wine. He surprised her by prompting nudging her foot right back, and Rose felt her competitive side weighing in. It may take two to tango, but it only took one foot to win at footsie. Nudging his foot a bit harder, she nearly squeaked again and almost choked on her wine when he responded by wrapping his leg around hers beneath the table, setting his glass down and locking eyes with her.
Oh, you think you've won? Hardly.
Placing her own glass down, Rose twisted her leg enough to free it, and he practically pouted at the action, sitting back in his chair and breaking their gaze. Toeing her shoes off beneath the table, Rose fought back a smirk as she did the same with her socks, leaning back casually in her chair and inspecting her chipping pink nail polish as she started sliding the toes of one foot up his leg, her other leg wrapping around his tightly to keep him from moving. The Doctor went rigid, his eyes snapping back to hers to watch her, and a small grin pulled at her lips.
I win.
With that thought, her foot reached the top of his leg and she lightly rested it in his lap, mildly shocked when she felt the growing bulge in his trousers. That certainly caught her off guard. She'd always wondered whether or not Time Lords could have sex; how could she not, with his rather affectionate touches and the way he looked at her? She'd grown especially curious after he regenerated and his attraction to her seemed to grow.
Timidly, like a person at the beach testing the waters before they let themselves slip in, Rose pressed her foot down, and her eyes widened when something resembling a quiet moan vibrated in the Doctor's throat, his eyes never leaving hers. He wanted her.
"I could do without dessert," she whispered, her eyes smoldering, and the Doctor was on his feet seconds later, crossing the table to take her hand and help her stand.
"Dessert is highly overrated," he purred, and she nodded, letting him tug her with purpose toward the TARDIS, bursting through the doors and shutting them once they were inside. The moment they were perfectly alone, the Doctor's lips found hers, and the answers to his questions slowly and surely got answered. From the way she was responding to his lips, he was a good kisser.
Knotting her fingers in his hair when the Doctor wrapped his arms around her and pulled her body against his, Rose kissed him fervently. How long had she imagined doing this? How badly had she wanted him to close the distance each time they came so close to a kiss? How many times had she imagined just crawling into bed with him and letting him have his wicked way with her? Too long, too badly, and too many times to count.
The Doctor wasted no time in maneuvering their bodies to his bedroom, given that the bed was much bigger than hers, and they stumbled over each other, clumsily landing on the mattress in a flurry of kissing, caressing and groping. Releasing a shaky sigh to mask how badly she wanted to moan when the Doctor's lips found her neck, Rose went about loosening his tie, tossing it aside carelessly once it was off as his fingers slid beneath the hem of her shirt. It grew harder not to release those needy sounds as his fingers and palms slid up the warm skin of her stomach, and Rose let out an involuntary groan when he cupped both of her breasts through her bra and gave them a squeeze. Lifting her arms up above her head so they were laying on the mattress, she let him pull her t-shirt off in a fluid motion, watching breathlessly as she tossed it aside. More and more sighs and shaky sounds escaped her as he began trailing his lips down her neck and chest, and her breath caught in her throat when they slid down her stomach, his fingers deftly unbuttoning her jeans and tugging them off. The next thing she knew, he was sliding her panties down with his teeth, not losing her gaze for even a second. It was enough to make her melt into a puddle of desire.
"Doctor…" she whispered shakily as he dropped her panties to the floor, and he crawled back up her body, slipping a hand underneath her to unhook her bra.
"Yes, Rose Tyler…?"
He said her name in a husky whisper, and whatever she had planned to say was lost to her as she tugged his mouth down to hers for another heated kiss, frantically trying to undress him as quickly as possible. He was still entirely dressed save for his tie and a few open shirt buttons, and she was quick to dispose of his jacket and the rest of his shirt, sliding them off as quickly as possible given he was still fumbling with her bra. The two of them were sitting up now, wrestling with the clothes keeping them apart, and finally the Doctor gave up and let her deal with him first, saving that pesky restraining scrap of her clothing for later. He was rather overdressed…
Once she got his jacket and shirt off, he rose to his feet and unbuttoned his trousers, which had been growing increasingly tight, sliding them down his legs along with his underwear. Just the sight of her there on his bed, her curls messy from his fingers and her body entirely naked other than that blasted bra, was enough to make him harder than he could ever remember being. Why was she so bloody beautiful?
Just as he was drinking her in, Rose was observing him hungrily, memorizing every detail of this body. If he were to ever regenerate again, she didn't want to forget a single solitary detail of this version of him. He was far lither than the other Doctor had been; lanky but with enough muscle to still be strong. Whereas her previous Doctor had hugged her tightly, but with care for fear of hurting her, this Doctor didn't have to be so cautious. Even his tightest hugs felt just right, and he didn't seem so scared to clutch her anymore. He seemed to know that, while she was still as breakable, he wasn't quite as strong, and instead of disliking his loss of strength, he revelled in it, hugging her at every possible moment.
Then there were the eyes, a warm shade of brown this time around instead of their previous blue. While the old Doctor had always looked at her with a sort of fondness, her current Doctor… well, he always looked at her with something just a bit more. Something more passionate, something more desperate, something… wonderful; it gave her butterflies, and she could see the look there right now.
But one of her favourite things about this new new Doctor was his hair. That bloody mop of impossible hair that was constantly messy, and constantly attractive. She wanted to run her hands through it most of the time, and she'd realized today that it felt just as soft and silky as she had imagined it would. He was glorious in every possible way, and the final detail she took in proved that he wanted her just as badly as she wanted him.
"C'mere," she whispered, her voice just as husky as his had been, and he stepped forward so he could sit on the bed beside her, reaching out without a word to slide the straps of her bra down her arms, getting rid of the last piece of clothing keeping their bodies apart. Once she was entirely bare before him, the Doctor looped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, lowering his lips to hers in a soft, worshiping kiss. His hands slid down to her hips, pulling her over so she was straddling his, putting her entirely in control. This body had never been intimate before, so he had no idea how he was going to react. He wanted her to be in control so he wouldn't lose his and end up hurting her.
Never breaking the kiss, Rose wrapped her arms around his neck, rocking her lower body against his as their chests pressed together. She couldn't remember ever wanting a man as badly as she wanted the Doctor right now, in this very moment, and it was divine. Her entire body hummed with desire as she moved, her core pulsing and slick, and she nibbled on his lip as she slid a hand down to grip his hard manhood, guiding it into her with a shaky moan. Somehow, he filled her absolutely perfectly, as if he were made for her, and she shivered as she let her walls adjust around him. He felt so good…
The Doctor himself shuddered with bliss as she sank down on him, and he felt his eyes roll back in his head as they kissed, her nibbling of his lip managing to turn him on further. She was like a little goddess, and he could stay like this forever. Gradually, she began to lift and drop her hips on his, and a low moan escaped him as he let himself fall so his back was on the bed, pulling her with him. It was hard for her to kiss him and keep up a good rhythm at the same time, so she ended up breaking apart from his lips to sit up again, her hands sliding down his chest to his stomach as she moved, biting her own lip and arching her back. The Doctor slowly began to match her pace with slow thrusts of his own up into her core, and she gasped blissfully with pleasure when the movement made her bounce, her inner muscles fluttering.
"Oh do that again…" she said breathlessly and he tended to her wishes, bucking his lower body upwards and watching her eyes roll back in a fascinated manner. She was so beautiful… so curvy and soft and supple. Thrusting his hips upward again, he grinned when he managed to make her moan, gripping her hips and rolling them over.
Was he good at shagging?
Yes. Yes he was.
The second Rose's back touched the bed and her head hit the pillows, she found herself looking up at the Doctor, his brown eyes smoldering as he kept a grip on her hips. Her legs went around his waist out of instinct, and another soft gasp escaped her when he gave a single thrust, stroking her inner walls with his hard member, never breaking eye contact.
"More…" she pleaded with him, and her back arched when he did it again, her jaw dropping and her fingers clutching the sheets, "More!"
Picking up his pace, the Doctor lightly dug his fingers into the soft skin of her hips, thrusting in and out of her without stopping as she moaned and cried out, clearly enjoying what he was doing to her. Oh, he wasn't good at shagging, he was excellent at shagging. This body was practically made for it; at least, it was made for her.
"Oh, Doctor!" she gasped, bucking her hips once to meet one of his thrusts, and she gave another blissful shout when he switched his angle to stroke a spot deeper within her, sliding a hand forward to tease her clit with his thumb, smirking when she all but screamed with pleasure as a result.
"Yes! Yes! Oh, my God, yes!"
Slamming harder into her to keep her shouting and screaming and all but singing with bliss, the Doctor released the hand that was still holding her hips in place, using it to grab her arm and tug her upward so she was in his lap, watching as she tossed her head back at how deep he suddenly was. She was absolute gorgeous when she let loose, and he was almost embarrassingly proud that he was the cause of her expressions and reactions.
Realizing that he wanted her to move with him, Rose drew in a shaky breath and starting meeting each of his thrusts, her arms going around his neck so she was literally moaning right in his ear, his teasing of her clit enough to drive her wild on its own. She could feel her inner muscles clenching around his member as they moved together in synchronization, pushing her closer and closer to snapping. How much more of this could she take?
"Doctor…" she gasped out, moving her body even faster when he moaned out, "Rose," in response. That sound was the sexiest, most maddening thing she had ever heard, and she wanted to keep hearing it until the very second that she died.
"I'm… close…!" she finally managed after a few more frantic drops of her hips, and she moaned in appreciation when he picked up the pace and his movements grew rougher, nudging her more quickly toward her release. He was, by far, the most incredible lover she had ever had.
"Close… close… oh!"
Screams of bliss escaped Rose when her orgasm snapped within her like an elastic band that had been stretched too far, and she cried out as waves of it rolled over her again and again, her body shaking. After a few more thrusts, the Doctor found his release within her, too, and his arms wound their way around her body, squeezing her to him as the pleasure slid over them both, after which they fell onto the bed in each other's arms, both panting and gasping for breath.
"That was brilliant," the Doctor finally managed, breathlessly with a bit of a laugh, and Rose grinned widely, her chest heaving as she tried to catch a breath, laughing herself.
"Happy Valentine's Day, yeah?" she managed to get out, and the Doctor laughed again, both of them impossibly giggly in the afterglow.
"Happy Valentine's Day, Rose Tyler," he cooed to her before pressing a kiss to her lips. He didn't tell her that he loved her.
She knows, he assured himself a short while later as they both fell asleep.
… . … . … . … . … . …
"Get up, get up, get up! You're gonna be late for your own bloody wedding!"
Rose groaned, putting a pillow over her head as her mother tried to shake her awake.
"Too early," she mumbled, the sound muffled, and Jackie ripped the pillow from her grasp, grabbing the sheets and giving them a tug, sending Rose rolling out of bed and onto the floor.
"Oi! Watch it!" she snapped when she hit the floor, sitting up and rubbing her blonde head, her white nightgown in a mess of wrinkles around her body. "If I get a bunch of lumps and bruises, I'm gonna look disgusting."
"Don't be such a drama queen," Jackie remarked, walking over to the other side of the bed to help her daughter to her feet, urging her toward the bathroom. "You're gonna look lovely, and you know it. Your father's seen to that. Now get yourself showered and brush your teeth. The girls will be here in twenty."
Sighing as the bathroom door shut and she was finally alone, Rose peered into the mirror. Her wedding day; did it have to be during the day? Couldn't it be tonight so she could sleep for a few more hours?
"You look absolutely exhausted."
She nearly shrieked, the sound only muffled by familiar fingers clamping over her lips, a grin pulling at his lips. Stepping out of the shower where he'd been hiding behind the curtain, the Doctor dropped his hand, smoothing his blue suit jacket.
"What're you doing here? You know the rules; you can't see me until the wedding. Mum'll have a cow if she finds out."
"Oh, relax," he chided her, his arms going around her waist to pull her close, bumping his nose against hers. "As long as I don't see you in the dress, I think we'll be just fine. After all; haven't we had enough bad luck to last us an eternity?"
A coy little smile pulling at her lips, Rose shook her head and leaned up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to her fiancé's lips, bumping his nose right back when she pulled away.
"I suppose… but I'm not sure if I wanna risk it…"
"Oh, come on, love; are you really gonna leave me at the mercy of your father for the entire morning?"
He wasn't really her father; he was an alternate universe version of him. Her real father was dead. Shaking her head to banish the unpleasant thoughts, Rose gave the Doctor a tiny smile.
"You've got Tony, too; you'll be alright. Now go on; you need to get ready, and I need to shower before the stylists get here."
She said the word 'stylists' in an unenthusiastic way, and the Doctor gave her a small smile, pulling her in for a tight hug. He knew why she was so against having strangers doll her up, whether they were professionals or not; she'd always imagined that her friends would be the one primping her for her wedding, and none of them could even be here. All of them thought she was dead. That had been the hardest thing for her to cope with as the big day drew near.
"I know, Rose… I know it's hard. But we've been over this, remember? We can't get there. Even if the TARDIS was fully mature, she still wouldn't be able to do it. It just isn't possible."
Her arms tightened around him at that, and the Doctor's small smile slipped.
"It's just not fair," she choked out, shaking her head, "Everyone out there hardly knows us. My mum is my maid of honour! I've got no real friends!"
"Don't talk like that," he disagreed, gently rubbing her back through the silk of her nightgown. "Bollocks to the people out there; you don't need them. All we need is each other, and that's what today is about; you and I."
Her lip quivered as he spoke, and she nodded shakily, exhaling as she sniffled. "I've just… I've got jitters, and no one helping me get ready will be able to help me through them… I've only got Mum…!"
"Shh…"
Shaking his head, the Doctor pressed his lips to her forehead, continuing to press soothing kisses to her eyelids, nose, cheeks and mouth until she stopped crying. Squeezing her in his arms, he shook his head.
"You and I. No need for jitters, because no one out there matters. Just you. and. I. Alright? I would think you looked beautiful if you walked down the aisle in a trash bag and a paper crown."
A small laugh escaped her at that, and he smiled, wiping her tears with his thumb.
"There's my Rose…"
Smiling faintly, she leaned into his touch, closing her eyes.
"I love you," she proclaimed quietly, and he nodded in agreement, softly tracing her face as she calmed down.
"And I love you," he assured her, reaching down to lift her hand to his lips, kissing the diamond sparkling on her ring finger, "That's why I gave you this."
Smiling, she wiped away the rest of her tears and nodded. He was the only person who could make her feel better at a time like this. Giving him a gentle nudge, she nodded.
"Go on. Get ready. I'll be alright…"
"You're sure?" he asked, kissing her forehead again as a small grin tugged at his lips. "I can always help you shower if you're still worried about jitters…"
"Go!" she objected, laughing genuinely this time, and he held his hands up in surrender, backing toward the door.
"I'm gone. I love you, Rose Tyler!"
Giggling quietly at the words he called out to her as he left the bathroom and her bedroom, she shut the door and smiled. Everything would be okay. She was marrying her best friend, and he was right; that was all that mattered.
… . … . … . … . … . …
She was beautiful; even more beautiful now than she'd been the first time around, or the second time around. Smiling fondly at her as she glided down the aisle on Pete's arm, the Doctor watched the soft breeze ruffle her veil. It was an outdoor wedding, in the enormous backyard of the Tyler mansion, and the sound of a fountain trickling in the distance could be heard. People in the audience oohed and ahhed appropriately as Rose passed by, and she had tears in her eyes as she walked, her smile one of the most beautiful ones he had ever seen grace her lips. Everything about the scene was absolutely perfect.
The only problem was that she was marrying the wrong him.
From his spot in the audience, the Doctor watched Rose join hands with the duplicate of his past self. Pulling at his bowtie, he glanced around every so often to be sure he wasn't recognized, even though he knew that would be impossible. No one here had seen him since he regenerated, and anyone who may possibly realize who he was all were too wrapped up in the wedding taking place to notice.
As much as his heart ached to watch the scene unfolding, the Doctor was happy. He was glad Rose had gotten on with her life and that she hadn't let her feelings for him stop her from letting in this alternate Doctor. He was glad she was living the life she deserved and that she got to have her big white wedding and, someday, she would get to have her little human babies and grow old with a human man who, without a doubt, would love her with the fierceness of two hearts even if he now only had one.
It appeared that he had taken on the name of John Smith for all intents and purposes, but the Doctor knew he would never go by that name when it was just him and Rose. The man up there considered himself the Doctor, and in reality he was the Doctor; just a little more human. He was lucky, so very, very lucky, and the Doctor hoped that he realized it. That man was marrying the most brilliant, beautiful, compassionate, funny, tender girl to ever grace the universes, and he wished it was him. Oh, did he ever wish it was him.
"And do you, Rose Marion Tyler, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"
Don't.
The thought was selfish, and he would never object aloud, but a part of him wished she would hesitate. That she would realize that man wasn't him, that it never would be him, and that he was sitting right here, watching her marry the wrong Doctor.
"I do."
And just like that, she was lost to him forever. Smiling faintly as they were pronounced husband and wife and sealed the vows with a kiss, the Doctor didn't notice he was crying until a little old lady beside him offered him a tissue.
"Thank you," he said quickly, wiping his cheeks to get rid of the evidence and standing when everyone else did, crumpling the tissue in his hand as the bride and groom made their way down the aisle with the wedding party in tow. For a split second, the Doctor managed to catch Rose's gaze, and her brow furrowed ever so slightly, but she was pulled along before she could really ponder the man standing in the crowd on her side of the venue whom she had never seen before in her life.
… . … . … . … . … . …
The reception was held inside in the mansion's extravagant ballroom, and the Doctor and Rose opened wedding gifts for a solid two hours, smiling for photos each time until their cheeks were sore, and then they ate, toasted, and danced most of the night away. After gifting her younger brother a dance, Rose smiled at her husband, managing to steal a kiss from his lips in private for the first time all night. It was stiflingly hot, and she needed to get out of this dress before they left for their honeymoon.
"I'm gonna go change, alright? I'll be back in thirty minutes, give or take."
"I can help, you know. As your husband, I feel obliged to get you out of your dress."
Smirking at the words he whispered in her ear so she would hear him over the thumping music, Rose shook her head.
"Later, I promise," she assured him, stealing another kiss before lifting her skirts and heading for the doors. It was pleasantly quiet the further down the hall she walked, and she smiled as she carefully walked up the stairs, pausing when she reached her bedroom door. There, on the floor, just like it had been so, so long ago, was a single red rose. Bending, her heart beating madly, she lifted it up with a shaking hand.
It couldn't be.
Standing straight with the flower in her hand, she pushed the door open, her breath catching in her throat. There, sitting on her bed, was the man from the wedding crowd; the man who had looked at her with such sad eyes through his smile that she'd nearly tripped over her dress.
He smiled shyly at her, although his eyes were just as sad as before, and whispered, "Happy Valentine's Day, Rose Tyler."
Dropping the rose, she continued to stare at him, utterly shocked. It was him alright; no one else could possibly know about that unspoken of night. No one but the man downstairs, and this couldn't possibly be his doing.
"You've regenerated," she finally whispered, her voice shaky, and he nodded, not moving to stand.
"Not long after you last saw me. Actually… it was seconds after you last saw me, but truthfully it was the first time you ever saw me. It was just the last time I ever saw you. With those eyes, anyway. This is likely the first, and last, time I'll see you with these ones."
She couldn't understand what he was rambling on about; all she knew was that the Doctor, the real Doctor, was sitting on her bed right now, looking like a kicked puppy. Why would he come? How had he come? Why would he want to watch the wedding?
A dozen or more genuine, rational questions were running through her mind, and she was so flabbergasted that the only one she could genuinely manage was, "Why are you wearing a bowtie?"
He seemed confused by her question, glancing down at the item around his neck, tugging at it with something resembling a pout.
"Bowties are cool."
Shaking her head as she collected her thoughts, Rose quickly shut the door and locked it, crossing the room to turn on her bedside lamp and sit beside him so he wasn't wallowing in the moonlight. "What are you doing here?" she finally asked, and he scratched the back of his neck, shaking his head.
"I… had to pop out of the universe for a bit. Thought I'd stop by while I was here. I didn't plan to crash your wedding, it just sort of… happened."
"You 'had to pop out of the universe'?" Rose asked, shaking her head, and he gave her a small sheepish smile.
"It would be too difficult to explain. Too many details, too many people you've never met…" shaking his head as he trailed off, he reached over, cupping her cheek in the dim light. "You look so beautiful…"
His touch was foreign to her, but not in a bad way. He may look different, but he was still her Doctor. He was still her lonely Time Lord, and now he was here… he was here. Tears flooding her eyes, Rose tossed her arms around his neck, hugging herself tightly to him.
"He had a nightmare, a year or so ago," she choked out, sliding her fingers into his hair as she held onto him, "A nightmare where… where he died. But it was so vivid… he said he could feel it. The only thing we could think of to explain it was that you… you…"
Shaking her head as her tears fell, she pulled back, cupping both of his cheeks to make sure he was, in fact, here and that she wasn't going crazy. His arms wound around her waist and he shook his head, gazing into her eyes.
"I just regenerated. See? Here I am. Perfectly alive. Well, sort of alive… I'm not really sure this is even happening."
"What?" Rose asked, shaking her head as she stroked his cheeks; cheeks she'd never before touched; and he shook his head, turning it to kiss one of her palms.
"I think I'm dead, Rose," he whispered, his voice painfully uncertain. "I don't understand it… One minute I'm flying into the exploding TARDIS, and the next I find myself here, in your rose bushes, listening to the wedding march. I thought maybe I'd fallen into hell, having to watch you marry him, but now… I'm not so sure."
"You're not dead," she whispered breathlessly, shaking her head with horror at the idea. "You're right here, with me. You're alive, and you're not in hell and… exploding TARDIS? What happened to the TARDIS?"
"Long story," he repeated, and she lightly swatted his arm, frowning.
"So tell me. I've got time."
"Have you?" he asked skeptically, and she furrowed her brow, her heart aching as he continued, "You're married, Rose; married to him. You have a husband waiting for you downstairs… you've got me. He's just… a different me. You don't need me anymore."
"Don't say that," she whispered, tears falling down her cheeks as she desperately held onto is face, afraid he'd disappear like he did that day at Bad Wolf Bay. "Don't you even think like that. I'll always need you…"
"You shouldn't," he disagreed, his hair falling into his eyes as they sparkled with his own tears. "I shouldn't have even come up here. I want you to be happy, Rose; you looked so happy today. You deserve to be happy, and all I ever did was hurt you. He's better for you than I ever was…"
"Stop it."
She snapped the words at him as she sucked in a shaky breath, trying desperately to stop crying as she wiped away his tears as they fell.
"You made me the happiest I ever was. You were, and still are, the most important person I've ever known…"
Shaking her head as her tears fell she gave up trying to hide it, pressing her forehead to his, "I love you."
Trembling under the weight of all the emotion he'd spent years keeping quieted, he wrapped his arms tightly around her to pull her as close as she could get in her dress. Keeping his forehead pressed to hers as their tears mingled, he sucked in a shaky breath, clinging to her with everything he had.
"I love you, Rose Tyler," he whispered in response, both of his hearts breaking as he said it, "I've always loved you. I never stopped loving you. I never will. I'm always going to love you…"
He said this would be the last time they'd ever see each other, didn't he? Well, in that case… Leaning in, she closed the distance between them for one last time, kissing him with all of the emotion she had in her heart. She wanted him to know how much he meant to her, before they were separated for the rest of their lives. The Doctor kissed her back with just as much feeling, his fingers digging into the fabric of her dress in an attempt to hold her tighter, and she trembled as they kissed, the salty tears dripping down their faces mingling with the taste of each other's lips.
"I love you," he whispered again when he pulled back, and she opened her mouth to say it again, too, getting cut off by that familiar sound; the sound of the TARDIS. It blew her curls back as it materialized, looking much bluer and modern than she remembered ever seeing it, and the Doctor clutched her, saying nothing until the engines died down.
"I suppose this is it, then," he whispered in the still silence, and she sniffled as she nodded, wiping her eyes. She likely looked like a mess; the Doctor downstairs would be horribly confused.
"Can I come in with you…?" she whispered, desperately hoping he would say yes. "Once more, for old time's sake…?
Holding her tighter, he nodded, pressing his lips to the top of her blonde head before standing and pulling her to her feet, leading her toward the doors. He wasn't entirely sure what was happening, or how the TARDIS was here in one piece, but one last step inside wouldn't hurt.
Opening the doors, he let Rose walk in first, and she looked around with wide eyes, turning in a circle to take it all in.
"Are you going to say it's bigger on the inside?" the Doctor asked with a small smile, feeling a twinge of nostalgia at having a young woman in a wedding dress in his TARDIS; nostalgia of a night he'd rather not think off, because it was all too similar to the one taking place right now.
Giving him a teasing smile, she shook her head. "You've redecorated," she remarked, and he chuckled, shaking his head as he longed in the doorway.
"Technically she made herself over. I had no say in the matter." He paused, watching her look around, his voice lowering a bit, "Do you like it?"
She shrugged, giving him a small smile when she finally met his eyes again. "It's not as homey as it used to be… but maybe I'm just biased." Smiling as he walked over to stand in front of her, she shook her head. "A new new new TARDIS for a new new new Doctor."
His smile widening in a way that only she could ever bring forth, the Doctor nodded, looking around before his eyes settled on her again. Maybe the TARDIS had come back for a reason; maybe she was giving them a second chance. They could run away from this world, and nothing would ever split them up again. It would be just them, the Doctor and Rose, traveling the universe; the stuff of legend.
"You could come with me, you know," he suggested softly, and her eyes, which had been looking around again, once more fell on him. Oh, how tempting a suggestion that was…
"I… can't," she finally whispered, shaking her head as her eyes flitted down to the ring on her finger. "He needs me, Doctor… I'm all he's got; all he knows, and… I didn't just agree to marry him because I missed you…" Shaking her head, she gazed at him apologetically and wished things could be different; that she could cut off her hand and grow another Rose, just for him. "I love him, Doctor… You left me with him on that beach, and I thought I'd never see you again… I fell in love with him. I let him in, and… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, my Doctor, my love, but… I can't."
As much as it pained him, the Doctor understood. He understood what it was like to need Rose Tyler, because he needed her, so badly, and he could never steal her away from a man who needed her just as much, if not more. He could never make another man suffer the loss of having her, and then having her stolen away. He was ashamed for even suggested it.
"Don't be sorry for that," he objected gently, reaching up to cup her cheek. "He can give you so much more than I can, Rose… you can have a family together, and grow old… I want you to have that." He smiled faintly, gazing down at her, "Who knows? Maybe we'll meet again one day, and you can tell me all about the adventures I know you're going to have."
"And you can tell me about yours," she agreed, nodding as she gazed up at him. "My Doctor, hero of the universes…"
"And my Rose, heroine of the galaxies," he agreed, and she smiled, both of them speaking at the same time,
"The stuff of legend."
Wrapping each other tightly in their arms, they hugged for a long, lingering moment, Rose kissing his cheek when he pulled back.
"I'm gonna hold you to that visit," she declared as she took a step back, and he nodded.
"And I'm holding you to your promise to have a fantastic life," he informed her with a waggling finger, and she smiled as she nodded, backing up until she was standing on the floor of her room again, gazing in at him.
"Go save some planets," she said with a soft smile, and he nodded, grinning softly back at her.
"Go have a family."
Giving him a small, tearful wave, she watched as he lifted his hand and snapped his fingers, the doors closing with a gentle creek of wood. A moment later, the engines were whirring, and Rose watched with a teary smile as the wind blew her hair back again, the TARDIS fading until it was out of sight completely. The Doctor was gone, but this time she had some closure. This time, she could finally move on.
… . … . … . … . …
"There you are!"
Rose smiled as she walked down the stairs, dressed in a pink dress that was much lighter and more comfortable than her wedding gown, and she giggled when the Doctor swept her up and spun her around, tugging her into his arms when he set her down on her feet. Furrowing his brow when he saw that her eyelashes were glistening, he softly stroked her cheek.
"Have you been crying?"
Shaking her head, Rose smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"I'm just happy, love… They're happy tears."
Giving her a small smile at that, the Doctor kissed Rose's nose, hugging her tightly again and lifting her off of her feet in the process in his typical fashion, making her giggle more wildly when he set her down.
"Come on; I told your parents we're heading out. No one will even notice we're gone."
Smiling, she let him eagerly tug her out the front doors, laughing and furrowing her brow in confusion when she couldn't spot a car anywhere to take them to the mystery honeymoon destination he still hadn't told her about.
"What's this, then?" she asked, her confusion evident, and the Doctor grinned and shook his head, pulling her around back to where the wedding had been. There, standing at the end of the rows of chairs in the exact spot where they had made their vows, was a blue police box that seemed to almost glitter in the moonlight.
"I always fancied the blue box, you know. Took a bit of tweaking to get it to stick, but…"
His arms wound around her waist from behind, and Rose's eyes widened along with her bright smile. "You mean it's ready? It's finally fully functioning?"
"Entirely," he assured her, and Rose beamed, turning around to toss her arms around his neck and kiss him full on, letting him lift her up and spin her around as much as he wanted, her eyes twinkling when they broke apart to breathe.
"You sneaky thing," she whispered, and he chuckled, bumping her nose with his and releasing her to take her hand, pulling her up the aisle and to the TARDIS, holding out a set of keys on a silver chain for her.
"Do the honors?"
Unable to shake her smile, Rose nodded and took the keys, unlocking the doors and pushing them open. The inside looked just like the old TARDIS had, and she felt so overwhelmed with emotion at it all that she thought she might cry all over again. This was their TARDIS; the Doctor and Rose were going to travel the universe, together, just as it should be.
"Where to?" he asked her softly from behind as he shut the door, kissing her shoulder, and she smiled up at him, her tears making her eyes shimmer as the love within them shone brightly.
"Everywhere," she whispered, and the Doctor beamed, stepping forward to switch the date and time, which currently read February 14th, 2010.