Legal Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Fushigi Yuugi. I do claim ownership of the original ideas, dialogue/narrative and characters in this tale, Yuu Watase is the creator.

Warning / Alert: Swearing & Tasuki Stuff.
Pairing/Couple: Tasuki/Miaka

Tasuki's takes a look on his mixed feelings for Miaka.

Author's Notes:

Okay. Here's some Tasuki/Miaka goodies for you, well…mostly Tasuki.

The title was actually inspired from the pandorinadesign site and was perfect for Tasuki. I just had to use it. So I do not claim it ok?.

Lightly curled auburn tresses cascaded down, perfectly resting on the slopes of her ample breasts, her luminous porcelain skin looked so soft that it was impossible to not want to touch it...her entrancing curves gave proof that she'd already blossomed into a "woman", slim waist and toned legs that could go on forever and hips that enticingly swayed as she walked. Definitely... every bit of a woman.

She possessed bewitching green eyes that always seemed to hypnotized me and then...there were her lips...her soft, luscious lips...that were always...inviting.

I remember how it felt to have her lips against mine, how goddamn sweet it tasted, intoxicating than the strongest sake I've ever tasted...it maybe once or twice...but for that moment...that moment, she was mine.

Dammit!You never fuckin' had a chance and It's not never gonna happen for you so quit thinkin' about her!

Shit, I never thought I'd eat that whole " I hate women" bull I always blabbed about, but hell, if it was fer Miaka, I'd do anythin'.

Fuck, she was so beautiful that night at the inn, even if she were cryin', she looked as breathtaking as she always did. It all just seemed so perfect, I felt her daintiness an' softness under me. She was a flower ready to be plucked, an' I felt like th' man to do it. I had her but then Tama barged in and had ta play the shinin' hero again...Fuckin' bastard ruined it all for me.

"You oughta be with me! I'll make ya laugh all the time, you don't hafta cry ever again!"

Dammit. I wish I could say I wasn't jealous of th' bastard, but hell to it, I am!

I know. I ain't no good-lookin', knight in shinin' armor type o' guy like Tama but hell! I gots more personality than him!I can make you laugh yer ass off!

"I don't get it. She loves him, even though he makes her cry. Even though he hurts her."

Tsk. Miaka should have been with me, not with that jerk of a Little Ghost.
Pft! I mean, sure, th' guy's like a brother ta me an' all but It's not fair! It fuckin' pisses me off that only Tama can touch you, only Tama can kiss you an' only Tama-effin'-home can own ya.

Doesn't he know we all love ya an' need ya just as much? Of course he does, he's just fuckin' selfish, he only wanted ya t' have eyes only fer him.
Show off-y jerk. dangling ya around an' kissin' ya n' stuff in front of us.

Fuckin' bastard.

I know I ain't never goin' to be anythin' more than just a friend-not with yer dream guy hangin' around th' save yer butt everytime you call out his name an' crap. Feh!
I fuckin' hate 'im, but I fuckin' hate ya more Miaka, I fuckin' hate you for making me feel this way, for craving the sweet taste of yer lips, for makin' me fall in love with ya!

You're torturing me y'know that Miaka? Everyday I look fer yer face an' there ain't a day go by without me touchin' my lips rememberin' how yours tasted against mine.
T'was one fuckin' kiss, ONE!, an' ya instantly made me step on my "I hate women" shit an' had me fall fer ya an' follow ya around an' actin' all hero-ish whenever Tama ain't around.

Dammit! I thought I held it strong, I thought it ain't gonna show...from the first time I saw ya, I knew y'were sumthin' else. I slipped a little when yer arm was broken an' Tama was drugged. But shit, I thought I stopped it already!

Why'd ya hafta be so perfect an' girly? why'd ya hafta be th' woman I'd fall for when ya already got Little Ghost, Nuriko an' his majesty goin' it on fer ya to choose from?

Fuck. I could have made ya love me instead of him if only he didn't interrupt us that night at th' inn.

But then again, I guess it's fer th' best, you lovey-doveys endin' up t'gether and crap, I ain't got nuthin' to offer ya anyway, I mean what kinda life would ya have with me, I ain't his highness who owns a big fuckin' mansion-palace with all th' servants an' bull nonsense. I'm just a bandit leader that steals an' stuff, runnin' around mountains gettin inta' trouble an' drinkin' sake with th' guys every night.
I ain't cut out t' be sweet an' romantic an' all that crap women love.

so yeah...it's fer th' best...I'll just hafta accept that an' try to convince myself that I'm over you...

...I'm over you...

I only wanted you to love me, even just a little. After all...the warmth of my arms in no different than the warmth of Tamahome's arms...

A/N: Angsty Eh? Hahahaha. I tried to capture Tasuki in this and I hope I got him, I feel that it's a little mushy for Tasuki's taste tho' so tell me what you guys think! PLEASE RATE & REVIEW.Thanks!