Author's Note: This is a light-hearted AU project I started working on because I simply couldn't wait any longer for more Merlin in my life. It's set in present-day England. I try to keep the characters as canon as I can under the modernized circumstances. Obviously, the focus is on Merlin and Arthur. I hope you'll give this a read. Chapters will have varying lengths depending on the importance of the events that day. And the rating might change depending on where I feel the story going.
Enjoy!
Chapter 1: Day 180 - His Royal Highness, Prince Arthur of Fails
"Why do I feel like you stopped frisking me a good ten minutes ago and are now just having a bit of repressed fun?"
"I am Prince Arthur of Wales' personal body guard, and as such, I am given a great deal of responsibility in assuring His Highness' safety. I shan't take any risks in-"
"-making sure my privates aren't a weapon in more ways than one?"
Merlin's eyes lit up with joy as he saw the annoyed, middle-aged man's forehead throb, the veins bulging out. He knew his banter was hitting a nerve, but Merlin couldn't help himself. He never could.
His life was shit. He'd spent the majority of his life in education to get both his doctorate in neuroscience at a prestigious American university as well his medical license. And when he finally finished university as far as he was willing to take it, he landed a residency at a hospital that allowed him to continue his controversial research in utilizing more brain power to develop allegedly extra-human abilities as well as honing his skills as a physician. There, he spent days at a time at the hospital. He spent what felt like years without sleeping. And finally, when he had developed some credibility among his peers, he was offered a job with ludicrous pay by one of his former medical school professors, assisting him in the same research he was doing, and to top it all off, it was for His Majesty King Uther!
Did he mention he had just a huge salary? Enormous.
Merlin thought he was incredibly lucky at the age of twenty-eight to be given such an amazing opportunity (with such great pay; that aspect of it was just tops). He was honored to be acknowledged, and he was looking forward to sleeping from time to time again.
And then he actually started the job. He was not only doing research, but he was assisting his old mentor Gaius as the court physician. Any time someone in the royal family had the sniffles, Merlin had to write a script just to get them to shut up. And worse than that was the heir to the throne, Arthur, who was a royal pain in the ass.
He strolled past the bodyguard and into Arthur's apartment, shutting the door behind him.
"Good, Merlin, it took you long enough."
Merlin rolled his eyes and followed Arthur's voice into his office, where he saw the man browsing a Premier League website.
"How may I be of assistance again today, Your Highness?" he asked, standing in front of the Prince's desk with his arms behind his back, hoping this wouldn't take too long or end with him wanting to lunge across the expensive antique and strangle the Prince with the weapon that he would have brought with him was he unaware of the fact that he'd inevitably be patted down.
"You remember my mates from university? Leon, Gwaine, Lance, and the lot of them?" he asked, not bothering to look up from his screen to see whether or not Merlin nodded in acknowledgment. "We're getting together to play a friendly match of football. Security measures will be in place. However, Lance insists upon including his girlfriend, Gwen, and as such, it has turned into a co-ed game. I think it a wise idea to have you present in case of injuries to the women. The game is tomorrow at noon. You may ride in the car with me."
"What?" Merlin asked, furrowing his eyebrows. "I'm afraid I can't, Sire. I have a prior engagement with-"
"Merlin," Arthur interrupted, looking up from his monitor to silence him. "This wasn't a request. Reschedule whatever triviality you had planned and be no later than eleven."
"Alright then. No problem at all. I guess I'll just reschedule my Gran's eighty-eighth birthday. It's not as if she's in poor health or might be-"
"Excellent, Merlin. I knew you'd understand. Dismissed."
Merlin, as a proud British man who grew up with delusions about the alleged kindness and compassion of the royal family, was still coming to terms with reality since his position started six months ago. Countless years of schooling and he was being treated like a dog by His Royal Highness, the Prince of Pissass, the Baron of Buttmunching, the Duke of Douchebaggery.
Remember the pay, Merlin. Do this for two years, and you're set for life.
"Yes, Your Highness," Merlin said, turning around and walking toward the door, mumbling to himself quietly, "the Prince of Fails."
"What was that, Merlin?" The Prince asked, his booming voice having the sound of something else in it. Was that... laughter? No, it couldn't be. If Arthur had heard that remark, he'd have thrown something by now.
"Nothing, Your Highness. Nothing at all. I'll see you tomorrow," Merlin answered, a smile on his face as he exited the Prince's apartment and gave a suggestive wink to the annoyed bodyguard outside the residence.
"You're joking. He's actually making you work tomorrow?"
"I wish I were joking, but that's the kind of inconsiderate arse he is."
"You want me to have Lance talk to him?"
"No, it'll be alright. I just have a feeling that he might trip and fall a few more times than one might ordinarily expect of such a coordinated man."
"You mean to use magic? Is that really a good idea? I don't think so."
"No, I suppose you're right. It's not a good idea. It's a great idea, Gwen."
Merlin, after yet another long and research-less day, was having coffee with his friend Gwen, who happened to be dating Lance, Arthur's best friend. Merlin met Gwen almost ten years ago when they went to university together. It was the same university both Lance and Arthur attended. Merlin and Arthur actually had four courses together. He didn't bother telling Arthur this. He'd shrug him off and tell him that there was no possible way that he could have missed 'those giant ears!'
Instead, he let Arthur go on and tell him about his friends as if Merlin had no idea who they were. Merlin knew every single one of them personally. Gwaine and he had been especially close. Merlin was buffing up his graduate school applications since he'd been told that American universities liked extracurricular activities, and so Merlin became a medic for the university's football club. Gwaine had been a member, and two of them had bonded over how little they had in common.
Arthur never questioned why Gwaine always gave Merlin a firm handshake which turned into a hug when he saw him. Arthur thought the world revolved around Arthur; there was simply no way that there could be friendships that didn't involve him.
"He's not a bad man, you know," Gwen said, defending Arthur for the umpteenth time.
"I'm sure he's not to anyone who he doesn't deem a servant," Merlin mumbled, drinking his coffee and realizing that it was doing absolute nothing to wake him up.
No, he definitely wouldn't be doing research tonight either.
"I've seen him be nice to the help. He's kind to his maid and his personal bodyguards," Gwen persisted.
Merlin frowned deeply, having seen the kindness himself. "So he's a nice man to everyone but me then is what you're saying."
Gwen also frowned for a second, and Merlin could see confirmation of a truth he'd been denying for so long now in her eyes.
"Great. Just great," he mumbled.
"No. Listen, there must be some other explanation. You must just catch him at times when he's stressed or-"
"He's the one who calls me to see him. I've never just said to myself 'oh, I fancy a visit with Arthur' and just gone," Merlin reminded her, killing her naturally positive nature.
"You know he's just been broken up with by his girlfriend, and I know it's wrong of him, but maybe he reckons that you're the only one he can get his frustrations out on," Gwen hypothesized. "Have you tried talking to him about it?"
"Oh yeah. Brilliant idea. You try talking to him, because I'm one step away from saying 'bugger it all' and quitting," he ranted, suddenly wishing he was nursing a pint instead of freshly brewed coffee.
"And then the king could say 'off with his head!' for treason. You signed a contract. It's the law, you know," she reminded him.
He lifted his head up and made eye contact, raising an eyebrow. "You know he can't actually have me beheaded, right? This isn't the sixth century."
She smiled wickedly and reached over to ruffle his hair, shrugging. "You never know. He is the king after all, and I doubt anyone aside from your Gran would miss you."
Merlin smiled, his eyes turning a golden shade of yellow for a split second before Gwen's blended coffee bubbled up and whipped cream flew onto her face.
"Hey! No fair!" she exclaimed, wiping most of the whipped cream off her face.
"All is fair in love and war, my dear," he replied dramatically, taking his pointer finger and wiping the last of the whipped cream off her nose and bringing it to his mouth.
A/N: Nothing too serious yet. Just introducing the scenario a bit. The next chapter will be Day 181. For anyone worried that Arthur's too big of a jerk - don't be. Also, anyone catch the irony of Merlin saying it's not the sixth century... because that's when Arthurian legend takes place? Late 5th/early 6th? Anyway, comments, criticisms, and anything else you want to throw at me are appreciated! Thanks for reading!