I dare you to go to Youtube, watch the video for Horse Outside by the Rubberbandits, and not be inspired to do something like this. You seriously should watch the video first so that you know what sort of rude gesturing and dancing to imagine. It's gonna be worth it, I promise.
So instead of being at the burrow, Fleur wants a church wedding. Since the Weasleys grew up near Ottery St. Catchpole, it makes sense that they'd know some muggles in town and invite them to the wedding. Ron hits the sauce, and begins hitting on a muggle girl. It's a really good thing he's drunk, otherwise obliviations would be in order.
I'm at my brother's weddin, at the church in Ottery,
I'm lookin at a bridesmaid, and she's lookin' back at me.
And when the service ends, ask her if she wants a lift
It was a hard sell, but if it goes well, maybe finger and a shift.
She says Fitzy drives a Mitzy, and he offered me a spin.
Enda have a Honda, so I might just go with him.
And Darragh Gibney said he bring me in his Subaru,
So what the fuck would make you think I'd wanna go with you?
I said Fuck your Honda Civic, I've a Ford that flies!
Fuck your Subaru, I have a Ford that flies!
And fuck your Mitsubishi, I've a Ford that flies!
If you're lookin for a ride I've got a Ford that flies!
She said I don't believe ya,
I said it's fuckin true!
I flew it with my brothers in 1992.
I don't need insurance, I don't need no parkin space,
And if you try to clamp my Ford it'll reducto your face.
I don't pay no tax, besides, I never touch the street!
You'll arrive in style if you ride with me.
And the boys are walkin over, jingling their keys.
I look the fuckers up and down and give them one of these!
I said Fuck your Honda Civic, I've a Ford that flies!
Fuck your Subaru, I have a Ford that flies!
And fuck your Mitsubishi, I've a Ford that flies!
If you're lookin' for a ride I've a Ford that flies!
Giddy up now baby, bless my soul.
I drive this fucker through the clouds, and though it's fucking old,
It runs like an F1 car, and it's charmed against the cold!
They've got bugs stuck in their grill, I've got birds in my manifold!
And the boys are lookin' jealous, as I lead the girl away.
And just before I close the door I look at her and say,
Would you be my girl, and she says I will of course,
if ya take me to the mile-high club in the back seat of your Ford...
ya!
Fuck your Honda Civic, I've a Ford that flies!
Fuck your Subaru, I have a Ford that flies!
And fuck your Mitsubishi, I've a Ford that flies!
If you're lookin for a ride I've a Ford that flies!
Credit goes to the Rubberbandits for the amazing song which was oh-so-easy to modify for my devious purposes.