Part 11: The Noocklear Kiss and Blanka's Downfall
Bison tossed and turned in his bed at the White Houswe because he is President, "I can.t..." ..."I can't"... "I can't".../..the memory of his romancitc moment with Guile at the battle of MDcDonald was burned into his mind. He sprang from his sleep "Fuck!" he yelled into the empty bedroom at the White House. The sound of his scream echoed through the hallways and into the Oval Office. The memory would forever haunt him.
The television set blared in Master of Rape's house. "An apidemick is breaking out in which retards are emerging from all corners of the world. We urge people to take precautions and to please carry shotguns and grenades when they leave their house. If you are accosted by a retard, do not hesitate to attack them." Master of Rape was satisfied "ha ha ha" he said "my plan is working. Now the world will be my retarded army!" He sipped his wine cooler and leaned back in his chair. "Now I can finally defeat Bison and take this world as my throne." he say.
Cody Haggar was punching a punching bag and kicking it in the Ice Capades basemtment and working out when Ken and Ryu Hoshi come in. "Have you seen the news Coddy?" saids Ryu and Ken Masters. Cody side kicked the punching bag, severing the outside of it and spilling stufffing all over the ground. Then he fixed his sunglasses "If it ain't about fighting, I ain't interested" said Cody Haggar. Ken said "On the news Bison is gearing up for his campaign for his sexond term as PResident now. The time to strike is fast approaching!" he said also. Ryu looked around "where is Blanka?" he ask. Cody side punched the punching bag and it broke apart and fell to the ground "he is in back. He is busy right now so don't bother him." Ryu and Ken knew they had to tell Blanka about Bison so they can attack him soon, so they ignored Cody and went in the back. Blanka was in his changing room at the Ice Capades and when KEn and Ryu came in they saw him touching a small, fat child in the torso and arms and shoulders, and chin and face and touch him hair and his ears and his eyelid. Blanka sensed something behind him and turned atound and say "Get out of here!"
IN the basement of the White House Bison opened a secret chamber and inside was the body of CEONSODERED and it was being held in statis in a tube with water in it and wires and a computer next to it that was beeping to tell Bison that CENSORED was still alive. "My power is absoliute" said the madman "no one can stop me as long as I continue to harvest your psycho power." Bison takes one wires and attached it to his hat and then sat down in a chair that was next to the statis chamber and then turned on another computer that was on a desk next to him in the chair that he was sitting in. "This computer allows me to draw the power wheneber I need it. I am weak from my previos battle and I must have susstinanss." he said to himself. Then Bison close his eyes and lete the psycho power enter his blood stream from the wire that he put on him. "Guile.." he thought "I would marry you if I didn't hate you so much." then suddelyny bison stands up and rips the wire from his hat and throws it on the floor and water came out of it and Bison rip part of his shirt and his cape, and rips his leg pad off and shoulder pad off. "Arrrrgggghhhhh! Guike!" he screamed.
Meanwhile, Master of Rape is holding a press conference at the main building in the United Nation buildings. The black dignatary from Africa announced Master of Rape to the UN Council. "Please remain quiet as Master of Rape will now deliver a speech regarding the retard outbreak. Thanks, yo." said the black. Master of Rape stood up and said "It is I who have began the retard outbreak. I will build my army, dethrone Bison as President, and rule the world!" he yelled. The UN Council was scared and they were all being quiet becasue they didn't want Master of Rape to kill them or not to rape them either. "I have insurgents all over the world. Some are here right now." Master of Rape pointed into the UN Counsils seating area. "Gentlemen, reveal yourself to these fools!" Suddenlty, several men stood up from their chairs and brandished clones of Sagat's penis. "Now" said Master of Rape "Make the entire UN Counsil retarded! ha ha ha" he said.
"Now can I put my shirt on again" say the fat kid. Blanka said "shut up" and then he say to Ryu and Ken "What you have seen here is not to be spoken about to anyone. The integrity of the Ultimate Street Fighters relies heavily upon it!" Ken and Ryu were confused and said "We have to save Fei Long and Guile from Master of Rape. He is building an army to defeat the world!" Blanka threw an empty bottle of Beefeater at Ken Master and it smashed over his face, permenantly scarring him for life on his mouth and his eye. Ryu Hoshi rushed to his lover's rescue "ken" he said "I sitll think you're beaitiuful, don't you worry about that one bit,." the two men kisssed. Blanka pushed them out of his dressing room and slammed the door. Ken was bleeding from his face and his mouth and him and Ryu can hear the muffled voice of the child from outside the room. "I'm calling the cops" said Ryu Hoshi.
Master of Rape was thrilled with his plan. "ha ha ha" he said "now I can destroy Bison and rule the world!" and then he ordered his henchmen to take all the retards and place them in one spot so they wouldn;t run away. "duh duh" say them retards while they are walking and sitting down and some are standing up and drool on the floor and one retard say "duh duh" and a henchman smashed his face with the butt of his gun, pulverizing the retard's teeth and mouth. "Don't you ever defiy the Master's orders again, or you will be killed and raped!" said the henchman. "Good job." saids Master of Raope."we must show them the way of the warrior" Master of Rape walked around and surveyed the scene. There were retards everywhere and they were ready to do his bidding: defeating Bison and his cabinet. "hah hah hah" said Master of Rape.
News cameras and news reports and people who are on the news and watch the news on television were all around, and there were camera crews and the van with the camera attached to it and people doing interviews and reports that will be on telveison soon. "We are here at the Ice Capades where a gruseoms scene has been discovered" said the reporter" famous combatant Blanka Hoshi has been arrested in connection with several crimes and alcohol bottles were found on the scene . More as the story develops will come on tv" The police walked Blanka out of the front door of the Ice Capades and he was in handcuff restraints so hium is not able to move him arms and Blanka was looking down at the ground and trying to not get on tv so that no one knew it was him but he could not hide his green skin and orange hairs on him arm and wrists and hand, head, chest, back and shin and knees and foot. Blnaka was trying to not get on tv so that no one would know it was him but they all knew and the reporteers knew and Ken master and Ryu Master knew and Thomas Dahklsim knows and M. Bison knows becasue he is the president and B. Bison told a lot of people so they know and then those people told a lot of other people and soon everyone know the story of Blanka getting arrested by the cops and put inside a police wagon and taken to the jail and processed so that he can be in jail and have fingerprint and DNA test and he will appear in court and see the Judge and have to pay restitttotions to the child family and the fat child and him having to return the child shirt and apologize to the family of the fat child and the fat child's friends and his school, and then Blanka will have to register his name in the database so that everyone know what he did and then he wikk be forver disgraced and removed from Ultimate Street Fighters because them don't want to look bad to the public so they can still fight for justcie afainst the evil menace of M. Bison and the goons and Master of Rape.
Sagat was suddenly woken up by the doctor at ken Master's mansion. "You have suffered from exposure and you are now partially blind and your mussel mass is going down. I can give you a treatment that will save your life but I need to do blood test furst now" saids the doctor. Sagta"I will kill the Master of Rape" saggat said. The doctor said "the master of rape is a powerful and ruthless adversary and he cannot be defeated by conventional weapons or by brute force alone. You must employ a variety of tactics to defeat him and his army of clones and retards" Sagat placed hims arm on the ground nexxt to the doctor "give me the treatment" he said. The doctor took out a machine that had wires and a computer, and a needle and puts the needle into Sagat arm and then the needle inject a liquid into Sagat's arms. Sagat had an adrelanide rush and sprang to his feet"thanks doc" he said. Then he unleashed a Tiger combo onto the doctor and smash the doctor's face and his skull apart, spilling blood and brain matter and flesh particles all over the ground. "I guess he's dead" said Sagat. The doctor was no more and Sagat had his Torso Power back once again so now he can do Tiger knee attack and Tiger fireball and Dragon Uppercut to Ryu Hoshi. "My revenge has begun" he said.
Eslewhere there was all kinds of things happening. Many of the retards that were created by Master of Rape had defied him and were wandering the planet and causing havok and destrutction. So people made concentration camps for the retards so they could burn them and destroy them so that the retards could not do anything bad anymore. ONce such prison camp was on the border of Ken Master Mansion and the Ice Capades area. "Move the retards in" said the coropral. The line of retards was walking to their demise and in the line was the retarded clone of Guile and the retard Fei Long that work at McDonalds'. "duh duh" said the retards as they walked intop the giant furnace. SOme of the retards that walk in hair went on fire and their eye balls melted and skin melted and fused together and then they fingernail burn off and legs and arms and chest, back shoulder and penis were on fire, and the retards screamed in aganay as they are burned alive by the cleansing flames of the giant furnace and then theyr hair melted onto their head and one retard try to run away but the Corporal threw a grenade and it exploded, launching the retard high into the air and while the retard flew threw the air he was on fire and his clothes were on fire, and thne the retard landed on the ground and was on fire, and the Corporal took out his machine gun and emptied a clip into the retard's body"I guess hes dead: said the cirporal. "put this fire out, private" said the Coporal. The private came over and poured a bucket of water mixed with gasoline on the retard and some parts went out and other parts went on fire more like the retard;'s face and his skull, chest and lower arm and hands and wrist, knees and back,. "More buckets now" said the Corporal and then three Privates came over and poured water and acid and gasoline on the retard and it burned the retards body and some parts were not on fire anymore because some of the water went on the retard but eh acide mnelted the retards eyes and teeth and his hair. "Fuck this retard" said one Private as he shoved a grenade down the retard's mouth and pulled the pin. The grenade exploded and blasted the retards skull and brains all over the place and some landed on the clone retard Guile and FeeLng retard. Suddenly Master of Rape appear "You think you can defeat my retards?" he said defiantly. Then he grabed the decapitated and scorched retard from the ground and split his legs open and slammed the retard;s asshole over the corpora's head and pulled the retards' body down over the Coropral's head, killing him instantly. Then Master of Rape punched the retard's stomach and it smashed the Corporal's head while it was inside the retards' body and the Privates watch in horror. "Now watch me kill everyone!" said Master of Rape.
The Retard Wars have begun! But what will happen to the Ultimtae Street Fighters and President M. Ultra Bisons? Keep your internet locked in and see more next time!