Someday.
One day I counted your fingers and kissed each one
Blair threw her head back and sighed as she heard the little cry. That was it, she realized with a smile on her lips. He was here. Her baby was finally here.
She felt hands on her hair and looked for him.
Chuck... He had one of those smiles on his face, one of those that made her heart beat faster. She liked to compare it to a children's smile on christmas morning. It was a mix of excitment and cheerfulness. Pure happiness.
Happiness... Chuck was happy. Really happy. More than she'd ever seen. She could feel how happy he was. Everyone in the labor room could. He was exhalling happiness.
She laughed, tears rolling down her cheek.
"Here he is," the doctor said and walked towards them, holding something so little and so precious. "Ready to hold him?"
Was she ready? Was that doctor kidding?
She had waited the longest nine months of her life to hold her son. Of course she was ready. She was Blair Waldorf Bass, she was born ready.
"Yes," Blair managed to say between tears. "Yes, we are."
She looked up at Chuck again, but his gaze wasn't fixed on her as usual. It was lingering on the fragile little boy Mrs. Fleck had just nestled on her arms. He just couldn't hold back the joy.
She followed his gaze and saw him.
His eyes were wide open. Dark. A pair of dark eyes just like Chuck and Blair's. His hair was the exact same color of Chuck's.
Eyebrows, nose, lips, ears, hands, feets...
Chuck moved closer, his big hands almost touching their son's pale skin. Then he stopped. And looked at Blair, as if asking if he was allowed to touch the baby.
Blair smiled at him.
"He's yours, Chuck." she said.
Chuck looked at the baby again, and touched his cheek gently.
Blair ran her fingers through the baby's skin too, and took his little hands.
One, two, three, four, five...
She sighed, relieved. "Ten fingers." she said and kissed his hands.
Chuck held her chin and kissed her.
It was quick but passsionate. It said everything he couldn't find the right words to say.
"I love you, Chuck." she whispered against his lips.
"I love you too." he said and looked down at the little boy. "You too, Henry. Henry Bass."
One day, the first snowflakes fell, and I help you up and watched
them melt on your baby skin.
"Chuck, can you please give me Henry so I can feed him?" Blair yelled from the inside.
Chuck and Henry were on the doorway, looking at the snowflakes soundlessly dropping on the floor.
It was morning before christmas and Blair was nervous about Henry's first Christmas. She wanted everything to be perfect. And she made it pretty clear to Chuck that he couldn't take Henry outside so he wouldn't be sick.
But once Chuck saw the snowflakes, he decided that their son couldn't miss his first snowy day.
Henry had just woken up and would probably start crying at any time. It was feeding time. His eyes were barely open because of the daylight and his hair was all messed because of the pillows that were sorrounding him on Chuck and Blair's bed.
He loved sleeping on their bed since their first day at home. It was like a tradition. Every single afternoon he took his daily nap on their bed before the evening shower.
"Chuck? Where are you? Don't tell me you're-"
"Outside!" Chuck said and opened the door so she could see him from their living room.
"What did I tell you about Henry being outside? Chuck, I don't want him sick tomorrow. It's gonna be his first Christmas and everyone will be here, it has to be perfect." Blair said as she walked towards them and kissed Henry's cheek. "Right, baby?"
"I know, but it's snowing. He never saw it before, he can't miss it." Chuck protested.
Blair would start to object but she was interupted by their son's cry.
Both looked at him and couldn't help smiling.
"Stupid snowflake fell on your little hand?" Blair streched her arms towards him and Chuck gave him to her.
Chuck laughed, holding her by the waist and touched Henry's nose.
"Oh my God, Chuck! It was his first snowflake! We didn't even take a picture!"
"Just a moment." Chuck said and took his phone.
Blair held Henry in a way that Chuck could take a picture only of his little face.
"You're amazing." she whispered when he put his phone back on his pocket.
He looked up at her, his signature Bass smirk on his face. "I'm Chuck Bass."
Blair rolled her eyes and sighed. "I kinda set myself up for that."
Chuck laughed and kissed her. "I love you."
"I love you too." she said and caressed his cheek. " Let's go in, I have to feed him."
One day, we crossed the street, and you help my hand tight.
"Daddy, I don't wanna cross the street." Henry said as they walked out of their town house.
Chuck couldn't help smiling proudly everytime Henry said a word. He was only three years old and already said almost every word correctly.
"Why not, Henry?" Chuck asked and held his little hand.
Henry stopped in front of their house. "Because the cartoon said that kids shouldn't cross the streets alone."
Chuck looked down at him. "But you're not alone. I'm gonna cross it with you, holding your hand."
Henry seemed to consider. "You won't let go of my hand?"
Chuck brushed the hair out of his face and smiled at him. "I'll never let go of your hand, okay? Never."
Henry let go of Chuck's hand and hugged his legs. "Can you carry me?"
"Yes, I can. But we have to practice that later, okay?" Chuck said and he picked his son up.
"Okay. I love you, daddy."
"I love you too, buddy"
Then, you were my baby, and now you are my child.
Henry woke up with a cry coming form Kathleen's room. His newborn sister was angry because Blair had forgotten feeding time. She was so different. Henry was so calm and sweet when he was a baby.
Kathleen was determinated, even though she was only 2 months old. When Blair was late to feed her, she would start to cry it would take them a long time to calm her down. When she didn't like how they put her on bed, she would cry again. Basically, she cried for everything.
At least that's how Henry saw it. In his point of view, she was always crying. And his parents found it cute. Every time she started to cry they would stop whatever they were doing to calm her down. Even if they were with him.
And it bothered him a lot. Chuck and Blair barely had time for him.
"Mister Henry, you have to wake up and get ready for school." Dorota said as she entered the room and walked towards his bed. "Oh, you're awake."
"Kathleen won't let me sleep." Henry said. "Dorota, when will she grow up? She needs to stop crying. It's boring."
"She's just baby. Might take time, but she will stop. One day." Dorota brushed the hair out of Henry's face and he shook his head, moving away.
"I hate this! Wanna bet mommy and daddy won't take me to school? They'll stay and take care of their little girl." he mumbled.
Dorota gave him his uniform and smiled at him. "It's new baby. Mister Chuck and Miss Blair were all kisses and laughter when you were baby."
Henry rolled his eyes as he put his shirt on. "But they barely talk to me now."
"That's no true. Mister Chuck and Miss Blair love Mister Henry." she said and helped him with his clothes.
"Where's the scarf, Dorota? I can't go without the scarf!" Henry shouted.
Dorota shook her head, smiled and opened his closet. He was definately Chuck and Blair's son. All the clothes and accessories organized in patter of color. And the bowties. So many colorful bowties inside those drawers.
She took Chuck's scarf and gave it to Henry. "Mister Henry, go to kitchen. Breakfast is waiting."
"Dorota,"he said as they walked down the stairs. "Do you think they still remember that I'm turning 8 next week?"
"Of course they do. Your parents wouldn't forget." she comforted him. "Now go kiss them good morning and go eat something. Can't study with no food."
Henry laughed at her accent, it was so entertaining.
He ran towards the living room and found his father sitting on the couch.
"Daddy!" he said and hugged Chuck.
"Hey you! Good morning, buddy." Chuck hugged him back. "You look handsome. All that for school? You really are my son."
Henry let go of Chuck's embrace and laughed.
"See the scarf?"
"Of course! It fits perfectly." Chuck said proudly. "Have you eaten yet?"
"No, Dorota told me to go to the kitchen. Will you join me?"
Chuck smiled at his son. His vocabulary was just perfect. The perfect gentleman.
"Sure, shall we wait for you mother?"
Henry shook his head. "Kathleen was crying, she's probably feeding her now. I can't be late for school."
"Okay. It'll be just both of us then." Chuck said as he got up.
"And Dorota. Don't forget Dorota."
He's not a baby anymore, Chuck thought, God, am I that old?
Sometimes, when you sleep, I watch you dream, and I dream too...
Blair entered Henry's room.
It was around midnight and she couldn't sleep. Chuck was in London for the week and she was feeling completely alone.
Kathleen, who was now two years old, had just fallen asleep and Blair had taken her to her own bed.
She then decided to see if Henry was okay. Mostly because she hoped he would be awake and they could talk.
He was probably the only one who understood how she felt when Chuck was far from home. Kathleen was too little and Dorota would listen to her, but it wasn't the same. She didn't feel the same way.
But Henry did. He missed his father probably even more than she did misss her husband. She liked to deny it, but Henry had always enjoyed Chuck's company more than her company.
She sat on his bed and watched him sleep. He was so sweet. Her precious little boy.
She brushed the hair out of his face and smiled.
That someday you will dive into the cool, clear water of a lake.
"I can't, mommy." Henry said as he moved away from the pool.
Blair looked at him and smiled. He was afraid. He was terrified. His eyes were full of tears and his hands were shaking.
"Hen, it's okay, I'm here." she said and held his hand.
Sweating. It was something that happened when he was nervous.
"I'm not gonna let you drown." Blair pulled him close and hugged him. "Look at me. You have to learn how to swim."
"But you said you're not gonna let me drown." Henry cried.
"And I'm not." Blair sighed. "But, I'm not always gonna be here."
Henry shook his head and a tear fell down his cheek. "I don't want you going anywhere."
"I'm not going anywhere. Not now," she comforted her son. "Just a long time from now. But when that time comes, I want you to be safe. And you need to do it by yourself when I no longer can protect you."
Someday you will walk into a deep wood.
"Henry, try to calm down, please." Blair said as she picked up her six-year-old son.
Henry was crying for about fifteen minutes because Jack and Georgina had told them that they were moving to LA. And that unfortunately included Milo. Henry's best friend Milo.
Milo and Henry have always been friends, even if Milo was three years older than Henry. It only took a boring dinner two years before to get them to start playing. After that, Milo and Henry were inseparable. Milo came to Chuck and Blair's town house almost every day and Henry also loved to play at Jack and Georgina's.
Jack and Georgina. They were that couple that no one had ever thought about but made total sense. Once they met each other, that was it. The attraction was undeniable. Blair still remembered when she caught them in the guest room. It was the most disgusting and funny thing she had ever seen.
"They can't take Milo with them!" Henry cried, wrapping his arms around Blair's neck and sobbing. "It's not fair!"
Blair caressed her son's hair and kissed the top of his head. "I know. I'll miss Milo too, but it's not up to us. Georgina is Milo's mother and he has to go wherever she goes."
Henry shook his head. "He can stay with us."
Blair would tell him something, probably that Georgina and Jack wouldn't let him stay, but Chuck entered the room and sat by his wife's side.
"No, he can't." Chuck said and Henry looked at him, completely confused. "Think about it: Would you like to be separated from us? Would you like to live with two strangers?"
"We're not strangers." Blair interrupted.
"Blair, are you serious?" Chuck asked in an irritated tone. "How do you think Georgina would feel? Would you let Henry move away with them?"
Blair rolled her eyes and sighed, as she usually did when she realized she was wrong but didn't want to admit it. "Of course not. He's my baby."
"Exactly." he smiled at her. "And you, Henry, would you like to live far from us?"
Henry suddenly jumped to his father's lap and hugged him tightly. "NO! NEVER!"
Chuck kissed his shoulder and inhaled, breathing him in as he always did. Every now and then Chuck had a feeling that it was all just a dream, that he would wake up and find out that all of that wasn't real, that he didn't have Blair anymore. And Henry.
So, every time Blair or Henry got close to him, he breathed them in. Not just to be sure that it was real, but to memorize them.
Memorize how they smell, and how their arms feel around his neck. Memorize the color of their eyes and the sound of their laughter. Memorize every single inch of Blair's perfect body and every detail about his son; the sparkle in his eyes when Chuck and Blair got home, the way he licked his lower lip when he was concentrated, the way he put his both hands on his head when he said something wrong, the daily afternoon nap he liked to take on Chuck and Blair's bed, the way he jumped on them waking them up, how much he loved to dance on his bed before going to sleep, his wonderful taste for clothes and books, how much he enjoyed putting Chuck's scarf on and specially, the way he said "daddy" everytime he saw him.
He had a special ways of saying it, and he loved each one of them.
"Me neither. I would die without you and your mother." Chuck looked at Blair and pulled her close. "Look, I know how much you like Milo. And I know he likes you just as much. But if he needs to move, you have to let him. Might be difficult, but you have to let him go."
"But-"
"If you love something you should let it go. If it comes back to you it's because it's always been yours. But if it doesn't, it never belonged to you." Chuck finished.
Blair stared at him for a moment. She was completely amazed. He was such a good father. And husband. And best friend, son, nephew, brother. He was amazing.
"Your father let me go once," Blair said, almost unconciously.
"But you came back." Chuck whispered.
Blair caressed his cheek, barely touching his skin.
"Of course I did." she said as she pressed her lips against his. "I'm yours."
Hey y'all. It's been a long time, huh? I've been writing this for a while now, but my 6x10 feels didn't let me finish the first chapter until this afternoon. This story is based on a book that I gave to my little sister when she was little. I found it when I was packing and couldn't help writing about it. Hope you like it. And yes, I'm gonna update Time to sleep, Henry and Find myself again as soon as possible. Love you.
Xoxo Dada.