i"You can stay in the room but get out of my head"/i
Bill's words, cold and merciless, still echoed in her head like a chime. Laura lay on the desk with her tresses in hand and quietly cried. Desperation, confusion and fury raging in her… the silence after his leaving was heavy like a stone on her heart.
i"You can stay in the room but get out of my head"/i
She couldn't stay here.
Still fighting with the coming tears, President Laura Roslin made a decision.
Laying down on the couch, Bill cursed himself… he knew, he knew exactly how bad he hurt her but the level of alcohol mixed with his natural stubbornness didn't let him take the right decision, namely- to go back and apologize to The President… no, apologize to Laura, to the woman he loved… Why we always make the most terrible mistakes with the people who are most precious to us? Why do we always hurt our loved ones with such an ease? iYou're frakking idiot, Bill Adama./i
The sound of the opening hatch made him stand. There was something wrong…
"Laura? Are you in here?" he asked going back in the room where she sat during the fight. She wasn't there, not in the rack. Bill felt the panic filling him and ran to the hatch to see her carrying her bag through it.
"Laura! Please! Stop!"
She turned back with a wild fire in her eyes only to slap him with all her strength.
The hatch closed.
She was gone.
A knife in his chest wouldn't hurt more than the revelation that she left him, not that she has actually been with him… ior maybe she was but you didn't realize?/i Nothing mattered now… she was gone.
Bill sat on her chair and saw the forgotten red tresses. iHer hair is falling/i, he realized… new sharp pain pierced him…
iGo, you, fool! Go and stop her, make her come back, beg her to come back!/i But he just sat on the chair, unable to move… it wasn't the alcohol or his stubbornness- it was the shame. He couldn't go to her, he messed up too much… he had no power to look that magic woman in the eyes, not after he made that eyes become full with tears… he knew she has been crying- the wet documents on the desk were the accusing evidence of his cruelty….
iHow dare you make her cry? How??/i
On The Presidential ship one woman felt lonelier than ever. The coldness of the room was in a full harmony with the chill in her soul. Laura Roslin was not the romantic type of women but right now she wanted only to be in the strong arms of the man she left, denying everything and letting him to be the prince on a white horse for her. iYou are a little stupid schoolteacher- he would never support you! You are not a part of his family! You are just a good friend who happened to stand on the way of his daughter… And he chose her. It was inevitable, you are a stranger, it was so clear that he will choose Kara!/i
iThere are limits I can't cross/i she realized. This was the end of their relationship… if there was one. She knew she loved him but tonight he made his choice. The conclusion emerged slowly in her mind… there was no more fury… just bitterness… Bill Adama was just another man who, she believed, loved her but the truth came out with the rage of a thunderstorm… he didn't love her, he was just her friend… there was no love in his words tonight….
iHow could I make the same mistake? Wasn't Adar enough? How could I fall into such a deep delusion again?/i
She shivered. There she was again just like in the beginning of this journey- alone, at the end of the world, with only her mistakes to remind her that she has once been a living creature. Once… but not now… And for a first time Laura felt happy about the fact that she was dying- the cancer would solve once and forever the dilemma of her undecided existence.
"Madame President, I thought you will be on Galactica!" Tory's surprised voice took Laura out of the dangerous ideas.
"And so did I, Tory. Change of plans… I guess. Go to bed, I want to be alone"
Her aide gave her one last confused look and stepped out.
b1 am, the same night/b
Bill couldn't sleep. And he was sure that Laura was awake too. And even more sure that if he appeared in front of her, she would airlock him as quickly as possible. But he just couldn't stay alone more.
bHangar deck, 10 minutes later/b
Bill hadn't the time or the nerves to explain to Saul Tigh who happened to be on the hangar deck why he needed a shuttle to Colonial One and why he didn't need a pilot. To Saul's
"What did you mess up this time" Bill answered only with an angry glare.
Tory somehow knew that this will happen and she was everything but surprised to see Admiral Adama on board in 1:30 am. i"Change of plans… of course"/i she murmured before going back to her sleep place- she had no right to be curious, not now.
Bill tried to walk as quietly as possible. Something in the dark, silent room made him feel like an intruder whose place was everywhere but here. However, it was inevitable. He couldn't go back, not until he managed to take his woman with him.
It took several minutes to adjust his yes to the darkness and to recognize Laura's profile lying on the floor next to her bed. She looked like she had fallen from it… or had been too weak to reach it. The sleeping pills, scattered around her told him more than he would want to know. Bill sighed heavily and took her fragile body in his arms.
"I want to go home" she murmured in her dream.
Bill looked at her closed eyes and placed a tender kiss on her temple, carrying her to the raptor.
"Yes, my love, we are going home"
It was nearly 3 am in the morning when Admiral Adama was walking towards his quarters with the sleeping President of the 12 colonies in his arms, his heavy steps sounding solemnly in the empty space, announcing the most precious cargo he has ever carried. There was nearly noone along the corridors of Galactica but even when he met some of the crew, Bill didn't care and they pretended not to notice the unusual event. Their leader was dying again, what could be more important than that?
Bill finally reached his quarters and put her down on his rack with an utmost care. She was like a flower with closed chalice, fragile and vulnerable…
iHow dare you make her cry?/i He asked himself once again and with a heart, filled with guilt, he sat on the floor, looking her sleep. He wanted to hold her closer, to fold her in his arms but felt that he had no right to do this, not after what he had done to her.
b7 am/b
There was some unexplainable warmth enveloping her entire body… it was not the usual feeling with which she woke up on Colonial One. Laura needed a couple of seconds to realize that actually she was not on Colonial One but back again in Bill's quarters, in Bill's rack, with Bill himself sitting on the floor with his head on the rack and holding one of her hands with his. Laura had the dim recollection of someone carrying her and whispering something about home…
Bill slowly raised his head, meeting a pair of pretty green eyes, full with tears and one question.
"You wanted to go home" he answered. "And I wanted to find home again after I have destroyed it by myself."
"Bill…" she couldn't say more, the emotions too overwhelming…
"I'm sorry, Laura… I will never forgive myself for hurting you in a so cruel way."
"No…" she put a finger on his lips. The silence felt better than ever.
"Come and make me feel home, Bill."
He lay beside her in the rack, folding her body with his arms, taking her as close as possible and placing kisses in her hair.
"Never run away from me again, my love, please. I've lost myself without you."
Laura smiled, pressing closer against his chest. No, this wasn't a delusion... not this time. She could get out of the room, but would never be out of his thoughts… and his heart…