Light shines on my face, when I need my space.
I've been feeling blue. Well, how about you?
Now, this bird has flown. Like I've always known it would.
Maybe someday soon, you'll be flying too.
See me roam. See me climb.
If I leave here now, I could make good time.
See me fall. See me rise.
Grab me one last look. Then I wave goodbye.
Goodbye.
Wave Goodbye – Steadman
Elena Gilbert gazed at the gated structure in front of her, her emotions flurrying about inside of her. On the one hand, she could understand why her aunt would do this. On the other, she couldn't believe what was happening. She pulled the gate open and stepped inside, making her way down the cobblestone path.
Elena halted and turned, watching as her aunt, Jenna, climbed into the taxi and the car slowly shrank into the horizon. Elena wanted to sprint after her. To apologize. To beg to be allowed to come home. She wanted to leave. To see her friends again. To see her brother again. But, she couldn't.
Instead, she was rooted in place, her sorrow boring a hole into her stomach. She wished she hadn't done the things that landed her here. The things that had Jenna deem her so petulant and uncontrollable that she couldn't handle her. Already, she missed home. Elena didn't want to be here.
Didn't want to be at Cross Academy. The famous boarding school for wealthy and entitled kids. Elena balked when she'd heard what the entrance fee was. Not to mention the contributions to keep the place up and running. Plus what you had to go through to get your child accepted.
Thank god for mom and dad's hefty life insurance, eh, Jenna? Elena thought so scathingly that her heart was sliced open on the words. Tears glistened in her eyes as she lowered them and began to make her way to the headmaster's office, training her eyes on the ground to avoid the curious stares of the other teens as they milled around, going about their daily activities.
She trudged to the building the office was in and stepped inside. Part of her wanted to look around, but the other part wanted to run. The atmosphere of this place alone was enough that she didn't feel right even standing on the stairs that fed to the grounds. This place feels wrong, her instincts whispered to her.
Or maybe you're just overthinking things because you want to go home? Her mind said. She shook off the thought and walked up the staircase and into the office. She knocked and heard a man say softly, "Yes, come in." She stepped into the office and faced a man seated at the desk.
He seemed to be in his thirties and his blonde hair was bound into a ponytail. His hazel eyes were warm and his entire demeanor communicated that he was more fatherly than intimidating. Elena's guard flew up and she went rigid, swallowing, and shifted from foot to foot.
"Please, sit, Elena." The man said; his voice was soft, warm, and soothing. Elena walked to the chair he indicated and sat. He flipped through her transfer papers, "I see that your parents weren't listed in any of your paperwork. Why?" "They're dead," Elena replied, avoiding his eyes. "I am so sorry to hear that,"
He sounded so sincere that Elena wanted to believe him. Unfortunately, she also wanted to scream, stamp her feet and demand to be sent home. Inwardly, she cringed at the thought. How childish. She thought of herself. "Well, I do see that your aunt is listed as your legal guardian, so that clears up the confusion."
"I guess she's still…" Elena faltered, searching for the words to express what she thought, "Grief-stricken, I suppose?" She finished doubtfully. The door opened with a bang and a girl cried breathlessly, "Headmaster, I came as quickly as –" She broke off when she spotted Elena. "Oh, are you the new transfer student?"
Elena nodded, "Elena." "I'm Yuki," The girl said. She was pretty, with shoulder-length brown hair and russet eyes. "Yuki," The headmaster began. "I'm sorry," Yuki bowed, "I would've been here earlier, but –" The headmaster cut in, "Elena, Yuki is on the Disciplinary Committee, so don't hesitate to come to her if you have any problems."
Elena blinked, disbelief clouding her features. Why had he stopped Yuki? "Yuki, would you please escort Miss Gilbert to the dormitory?" The headmaster asked politely. "Of course, Headmaster," Yuki said respectfully and bowed before turning to Elena, who stood. She blew out a soft sigh, acceptance pounding its way through her mind.
That was it. The matter was settled and Elena could do nothing about it. She crossed the room, stepping beside Yuki. "I told you," The headmaster cried, "It's 'Father'!" Elena's eyes widened as she turned to stare at the girl next to her. Yuki simply smiled at Elena in an apologetic manner and lead her from the room.
"So, what was that about, back there?" Elena gestured to the headmaster's office. "Oh, that." Yuki laughed nervously, pressing her palm to her forehead, "Nothing to worry about." She waved her free hand. This place is definitely odd… Elena thought as Yuki guided her from the building and across a bridge to another building that looked like a mansion. Elena gaped at the building.
It had two sections and a tower that tapered off into a spire. Two towers. Yukie ushered Elena into one of the partitions of the mansion. Elena realized that this must be the girls' side of the Dormitory. Yuki led Elena up flights of stairs to a door and opened the door to reveal a room with a table with two love-seat sized chairs sat in the center of the room.
Bookshelves were braced against the wall, but they were barren. A desk sat near a window, a chair in front of it. Yuki gestured Elena to another door and pushed it open, revealing a double bed and a chest of drawers. A full length mirror perched next to a door that Elena presumed was the closet.
"This is the only room we have available. You are the only transfer this year, so, you will have this room to yourself." Yuki stepped into the room and swept her arm to the window, "But look! You have a fantastic view of the lake!" Elena laughed softly at the other girl's attempt to make up for the room.
"It's okay," Elena said. "Really." She dumped her suitcase onto the bed and gazed around. The room was big enough to house two girls and their belongings. But, even with Yuki there, it still felt lonely. Elena sat on the edge of the bed and dissolved into tears.
"Oh, Elena!" Yuki cried, bewildered at the sudden change in the other girl, "I'm sorry! Did I say something wrong?" Elena shook her head, her hand covering her mouth, "I'm sorry," the girl gasped, "I just – This entire day –" She blubbered, sure that she was making an even greater fool of herself than she already had.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Yuki asked carefully. Elena shook her head, "No. I'll be fine." When Yuki hadn't looked reassured, Elena managed a watery smile, "I swear." "Oh, okay…" The other girl excused herself to attend to her duties and Elena gazed around the room.
Finally, she forced herself to her feet and made her way to the bathroom to freshen up. She stepped into the room and leaned against the sink, wiping her tears away and turned on the taps. Warm water poured from the sink's faucet and the brunette dipped her hands under the downpour of water.
She cupped water and splashed it onto her face. She washed away her tears before dabbing her face with a soft white towel before observing her reflection. Her nose was red and her eyes bloodshot. I look terrible… She thought absently. She pushed away from the sink and returned to her room.
Elena ripped her suitcase open and pulled out her diary and a pen before pushing her window open perched on the ledge, flipping the book open. She poised the nib of her pen over a blank page and wrote;
Dear Diary,
Everything is not fine. Not at all. I know that what I've done is wrong. But this seems to be the cruelest form of punishment. I miss my home. My friends. My brother. I tried so hard to be okay that I even began to believe it. But only for a moment. This place just seems to –
She choked back a sob and scratched out the lines she wrote. Breathe, she thought, breathe, Elena. She gazed at the lake, eyeing the glassy surface of the water. A breeze whipped by, causing the once still water to ripple and the tree branches to sway and moan.
Elena placed her hands on her journal, holding the fluttering pages down and when the wind stopped; she braced her feet against the frame before starting again;
Dear Diary,
Tomorrow will be different. It will have to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say, "I'm fine, thank you. Yes, I feel much better." I will no longer be the sad little girl that lost her parents. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through.
When she'd finished writing, she climbed off the windowsill, shivering at the chill that frosted the air. She closed her window and latched it before turning and walking to the bathroom, carrying her toiletries.
Elena wriggled out of her clothes and stepped into the shower, turning on the taps, wincing as the warm water cascaded over her body, making her cold skin prickle unpleasantly. After she'd washed and warmed her icy flesh, she walked back to her room, dressed in pajamas, biting her lip.
The room seemed so lonely. And so empty. She peeled back the covers and crawled into bed. As she slowly fell asleep, she could have sworn that she'd heard a laugh rip through the arctic night air.