Author's Note:
So...I don't know if anyone will ever read this, but I've decided to post it anyway. For a little backstory, this is (sort of) a re-write of a silly little story my brother and I wrote together a very VERY long time ago. For those interested it can be found here: s/7763450/1/Fallout-The-Book. This is basically a diary and other types of writing centering around my original fallout character and her interactions with other character. I wrote this for fun at work, and I've always believed it's important to hear what other people think about my writing. It does center around an original character...so if you don't like that, this story isn't for you. Thanks!

Anna
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July 13, 2268

Today is my tenth birthday. It pretty much sucked, especially with the party. It is embarrassing that, despite how much my classmates seem to hate me, my dad was 'forced' to invite them. Thank god at least Amata was there. I don't really know what I'd do without her. Butch was making an ass of himself (what else is new?) and tried to steal my sweet roll. It is easy to rile him up, but I guess maybe I'd have less bruises if I just put up with him. Still, despite my standing here in the vault I have some pride left and I refuse to let Butch take that from me.

Dad got me two gifts. Or three, if you count allowing me to leave the party early. First he got me a BB gun. I don't think it is really that practical but It is fun to shoot. Again, it's another thing to kill the boredom... not that I'll ever be able to go outside the vault. But still, it is great to know that I have something no one else is allowed to have. Not even Amata, and she's the overseer's daughter. Of course, it is a toy and won't do much harm to people (not that I'd want it to) so it isn't a real form of defense.

The other gift is you. God that sounds stupid. I mean, he got me a diary holotape to use with my terminal and pip-boy. I'm not really sure if diary keeping is my thing. I feel like Butch would just use it to embarrass me if he ever found it. Okay...that's it I guess.

Signing off.

Katherine

January 1st, 2274

Happy New years! Wow I haven't written in here in forever. There are two reasons I am now.

1). My dad has been asking me how It's going. Making broad statements about how he's sure its sooo long by now, and doesn't it feel nice to get it all out?

2). I finally have something to write about!

I've been crushing on Freddie Gomez for years it seems, granted there isn't much to choose from, but I really did like him. He is one of the only people around here that doesn't look down or pick on me. While he's mostly ambivalent, I still appreciate that he isn't outright hostile. He's actually downright pleasant when Butch isn't around.

Well, I'll just come right out and say it here then. Freddie and I are a couple now. The only caveat is that it has to be a secret. I'm not sure I really like that part, but I'm hoping he'll grow past it someday. For now I'm content to just be with him, even if that mostly means sneaking off to places where we can be alone. I'm so happy I could die!

February 14th, 2274

Valentine's day isn't really widely celebrated anymore. But here in the vault, we are awarded some luxuries. So I was expecting Freddie to have something planned. I don't have much, but I painted him a portrait and baked him a sweet roll. We agreed to meet down on the reactor level after all the workers had gone home for the day.

He seemed to like my gifts for him, but when I asked him what he'd gotten for me he just went red. I guess at some point I was expecting our relationship to go physical, but I had no idea that Freddie would be keen on making it like that so soon! I have to say that it shocked me, because he's mostly too shy to even kiss me. That makes me think that someone put the idea in his head, but even so I didn't want to deny him.

At the time I told him that it wasn't out of the question, just that I wanted my first time to be a little more romantic. I certainly didn't want it to be down in the reactor level, where anyone could interrupt us. When I said that there was some weird mix of relief and disappointment on his face, which I had no idea how to interpret and still don't. After that the date got better, and we stayed there a couple hours just talking. It was nice.

If he asks again, maybe I'll say yes.

July 13, 2274

I know I don't write in here often but I'm really fed up with Freddie. He promised to come see me for my birthday but he flaked because, coincidentally, Butch offered to let him hang with them. I sat waiting in the Diner for almost an hour, because I really wanted to believe he wouldn't ditch me. I'm guessing the secret part of our relationship isn't so secret anymore.

I hate both of them.

August 3, 2274

We all took the G.O.A.T.

It seemed kind of pointless to me, especially when all the questions came way out of left field. But I guess you're looking at the vault's next Marriage Counsellor. I'm not really sure if that's my forte, especially because I'd have to be counselling my peers. God only knows what type of advice I'd give them. But I do like talking to people. Especially to Freddie when he isn't trying to impress Butch.

Thank god that I passed this thing. I've never heard of anyone failing, but if it was possible I'm sure I'd have managed it. I felt bad for Freddie because he seemed crazy nervous about it. On my way up to turn in my test, I tried to help him. He got stuck on the last question, for god's sake! I haven't got a clue if that question even meant anything, but he seemed so relieved when I told him what to put down.

September 1, 2274

Before class this morning Freddie practically ambushed me in the hallway. He said that he really needed to talk to me in the supply closet. That's pretty weird to hear from him, because that supply closet isn't really the most clandestine place, especially during the day. At the time I just figured it was something small. I also figured he didn't know what most people used that closet for. I was wrong on both counts.

When I got in there fifteen minutes later, having asked Mr. Brotch if I could go to the bathroom, he was looking incredibly nervous. I asked him what he wanted, and I don't mind saying I sounded pretty ticked off. He sometimes ditched class to impress Butch, but I wasn't in the habit. No doubt it would get back to my dad and he'd never let it go.

He said that we'd been going out together for months now, and it was probably time we took it to the next level. I kid you not, that is how he said it. He also made it seem like, because my dad is the doctor, I could just steal any drug I wanted to avoid pregnancy. Of course I said no. Not in a broom closet and certainly not during school. But for once he was persistent.

I don't really know when I lost control of the situation, but he kept telling me that I was beautiful. Honestly it was the most elegantly he's ever spoken to me. I argued at first, but I can't deny that the whole thing seemed exciting. I have been thinking about it, and I guess in the end I wanted to as much as he did. In the end, I caved and said he could if we were quick. I was supposed to be in the bathroom. I'm not sure what to say about the whole experience.

First of all, it was rather short. I guess I shouldn't have worried about being late. The second was that it was far less pleasurable than I'd hoped. In the end I did have to go to the bathroom to clean up. I couldn't look him in the eye for the rest of the day. I think he must have been having the same problem because he didn't come to class at all.

September 4, 2274

I'm pretty sure that Butch put him up to it now. I was on cleaning duty today, and Butch came into the bathroom as I was cleaning it. Our rooms are fairly close together, with basically just the bathroom splitting them up. There are two doors, one that leads to my hallway and room (which I still share with my dad) and his and his mom's. I was closer to my door, just finishing up mopping the floor when Butch comes in.

He says, and I shit you not, "I hear you'll fuck anybody now. Is that true, because if so I'd like a turn."

I was mortified. I shouldn't have engaged him, I know, but I asked him why the hell he thought that. Even then I think I knew, on some level, that Freddie had told him. But Butch went on to describe what he wanted to do to me. Honestly, I was pretty uncomfortable but I pretended I was just angry. Finally, I said something like, "What makes you think I want to fuck you?" Or something like that, and he just smiled.

Then he says that he knows that I had sex with Freddy in the supply closet. He said that pretty much makes me a slut. He also said that pretty much everyone knew. I couldn't stop myself. I went after him hard, punching and kicking him until he fell down. I'm not that big, but Butch isn't really that strong when it comes down to it. I shouldn't have done it, I know, but officer Gomez came upon us fighting and broke it up. Butch looked pretty bad, so he got sent to my dad. Officer Gomez told me that I should probably go speak with the Overseer, and that he'd have to report me. I managed to convince him otherwise, thankfully without telling him the truth. But there is no doubt that when my dad gets home from work he'll know about what happened. With both Butch and Freddie.

This really is the worst day of my life.

September 7, 2274

God, so much has happened lately. That, and honestly I've been too depressed to write anything. Everyone pretty much knows about me and Freddie but he's still denying it. Butch and his friends have been egging him on, and lately he's been downright rude to me during class and mealtimes. It is really driving me crazy. My dad sat me down and talked to me about Freddie. He said that he was disappointed in me for doing it, and that he wanted to give me a check up to make sure everything was alright. God that was embarrassing, having your father asking you questions about your sex life. Of course, I don't really have one since I've done it once.

FYI I'm not pregnant, nor do I have any STDs. I also don't have any desire to sleep with Freddie again. Ever.

The Litany of bullshit that Butch spews at me is getting dirtier. Amata is mad at me because I never told her about Freddie. Everyone is calling me a slut now. Dad won't ever let me play sick, as if that is some punishment. I can't go anywhere without hearing how Butch and his Tunnel Snakes can show me a 'real' tunnel snake if I just meet them in the supply closet. Worst of all, Freddie told me that he had told Butch about us only because Butch promised to let him into the Tunnel Snakes if he did. I can't believe he'd do this to me, and for once I told him that. I said that if he ever wanted to see me again that he'd have to acknowledge me in class and stop letting Butch push him around.

I don't know what I was expecting when I told Freddie I didn't want to be with him unless we come out in the open. Sometimes he tells me he loves me, and then sometimes he's so aloof it would be a miracle if he actually cared. I think Butch must be giving him a hard time about me, because he said we should just break up. I acted angry at the time, but if I'm honest that hurt.

I just shoved him, and said some stuff I regret, and stormed off. On the way out, I caught Butch and Paulie laughing. It really is grating that he is still acting like a kid. Our education is over this year, and we're training now already for our profession. When will he grow out of this stupid bullying.

I guess I can firmly say that I hope he never gets married.

November 31, 2274

I don't know what it was about this year, but I certainly had a lot to say. Christmas is only a few weeks away, which might be nice after this horrible year. Amata has finally forgiven me, which happened quite a while ago. The only stipulation was that I was supposed to tell her everything about what happened with me and Freddie. At first it was too difficult to talk about, but it was nice by the end to have someone to vent and share my feelings to.

Amata really is my only friend.

Things with Freddie have gotten a little better, but I still refuse to speak to him. Butch is still holding that whole ordeal over my head, but with Amata's support it doesn't bother me as much. In hindsight the whole thing was a bad idea. I never should have agreed to keep it a secret, because in the end that made the whole thing worse. I don't know if I can ever forgive Freddie and Butch for what they did to me, thank god I don't have to sit near either of them in class.

July 14, 2277

Dad is acting weird. It was my nineteenth birthday today, and he insisted we have a party just the two of us. I was fine with that, and he got everything together for that evening. He had only just recently applied for separate quarters, so we aren't living in the same room anymore. Sometimes it is weird not to see my dad every day, but I'm pretty caught up in training most days so his absence isn't so pronounced.

He turned up today with a small cake and a gift, which he hadn't wrapped and just hidden behind his back. At least he'd learned not the throw me parties after years of awkward failures. He told me that Jonas couldn't come because the overseer demanded that someone be in the clinic at all times, which included off hours. I always thought that was stupid, because if anything happened during the night how hard was it to go get the doctor?

The cake was nice, especially because they're incredibly hard to get. For this year dad got me a new set of paints. I enjoy painting landscapes from prewar photos, they help to brighten up my room. Sometimes I do imagine what the outside world is like. Part of me believes that it is growing green again, and that one day soon the Overseer will let us all out when it is safe. Of course, I know that isn't really the case. Paints are fairly hard to come by too, and I stored them away carefully with the others.

Before he left, dad made sure to give me Mom's favorite quote. He said that I'd need it. Then he went on to tell me how proud he was of me. How I'd grown into a young woman, yadda yadda yadda. At the time I just went red and brushed him off. It wasn't until later that I realized that was weird for him to say. He was talking like he was going somewhere. But really, that is impossible.