Hey! It's my first story here, it's a R/J story, because I'm a huge fan and I've been reading fan fictions on this site from a long time ago. So I decided to finally write a story myself and I am aware that I'm not really good, so please be kind. :)

I do not own anything but the plot and the crappy writing. :P

Chapter 1

I was born with the wrong sign
In the wrong house
With the wrong ascendancy
I took the wrong road
That led to the wrong tendencies
I was in the wrong place at the wrong time
For the wrong reason and the wrong rhyme
On the wrong day of the wrong week
I used the wrong method with the wrong technique.

There's something wrong with me chemically
Something wrong with me inherently
The wrong mix in the wrong genes
I reached the wrong ends by the wrong means.

-"Wrong", Depeche Mode.

"Renesmee, you're not wearing that dress!" my mother's voice sounded so exigent and severe, something she isn't, or at least wasn't a very few years ago. I had to swallow hard and take a deep breath to prevent a sigh from slipping through my pink and chapped in some parts.

"Why not?" I asked, my voice sounding drier that I wanted it to be. Though, it might as well show my anger, which my father often told me to control, after all, I was the one who lived in a house full of immortal and sleepless people. It was worse than a prison sometimes. Screw you, I thought bitterly when I caught my father's eyes fixing me. If he likes searching through my head, then he won't like what he finds there.

"Because you're going to your grandfather, Charlie, not a strip club!" her loud and stern tone echoing into my restless mind.

"What .did. you .just. say?" I breathed out, feeling my anger pulse into my blood, through my veins, along with my accelerated heart beats. They often criticized me for the things I liked, music I listened, Jacob… I always had to do as the bloodsuckers said , even though I didn't agree the most times.

"I said I don't want my father to see my daughter look like a whore." She said, smiling brightly at me, only causing me disgust. I've heard that many teenage girls had problems with their families, but THIS was just too much. I gave my father a death glare. How come when I fight with mom, you always take her side on every single thing I say, but when it comes to me, NO, you let her call me a slut and bring me down. Alright. I thought boldly, hoping that he could read the pain through my thoughts.

", Thank you for being a supportive dad. And really? Well, what if I want to? Does my opinion count?" my voice jumped higher. "OF COURSE IT DOESN'T! It's always about you and your own fucking ways of seeing things, everything should be seen through your eyes, through your perspective! It's never me! I wish you didn't give birth to me!" I didn't realize how loud my screams were until my whole family entered the little house I left in. I looked at my mother's expression and it was just as bold and angry as before. Maybe even angrier.

"Sometimes, I wish that I wasn't this stupid human that pathetically dreamed of a nice, beautiful girl to love! I wish that Jacob and your father convinced me to kill you, you little demon!"

I froze, feeling the blood flush into my cheeks. I knew my parents didn't want me at first; and it's not a huge surprise that they don't like me anymore, when I had my break downs, I was pretty bitchy, but Jacob? My Jake?... I guess I had nobody. Nobody loved me. Nobody wanted me to sit next to them, hug them, love them. I've never been the optimistic girl with the beautiful, bright dreams and thoughts, but I've never seen myself this way. But maybe I was made to be alone. This monster, a creature that deserves to drown in her own ocean of endless tears and be forgotten, nobody remembering this stupid child I was.

"Bite me." I whispered to my father, whose expression changed, suddenly, from anger to… mercy? Pain?

"BITE ME!" I screamed, pain affecting my loud voice. "Kill me! I offer myself, drain me and leave me to rot in a place, exiled from the rest of the world. Go ahead, I know you want to get rid of me, so why don't you just do it now!" my voice got quiet because of the tears that were now falling, faster and faster and I wasn't able to stop them from blurring my vision.

Seeing that I wasn't going to hear their perfect voices answer me , in a swift motion, I burst through the main door, forcing my legs to move fast. Faster than they ever did, at least. Running was a good idea, but since I am half human, I will get weak and stop. But for now, the only thing I was going to focus on was running far away. A few days away won't kill them… me neither.

When my sight got darker, I realized I was in the woods, a place I wasn't allowed to go into without somebody that had to take care of me while I hunted. I wasn't exactly alone, it was me and my own misery, a thing I had to get used to. That's what you get when you're just a mistake of two young idiots fucking like rabbits. They got pleasure and I'm left here, cursed to live in this hell with these devils spying on me every minute of my life.

A sudden curiosity made me stop and look back, secretly hoping to find my desperate family running after me, only to be more let down. Nobody was following me but the damned shadow of mine. My insides were on fire as I grabbed a medium-sized rock and I threw it just below a tree. I watched it as it knocked down a tree branch, a frightening sound filling my body with unpleasant shivers running down my spine, through my hands and legs. I stood still and my eyes watched the little rock with caution. My fists were clenched as more tears rolled down my rose-colored cheeks. My legs gave in and I collapsed, on my knees and palms, my breathing slow and hard and unsteady heart beats. A delicious smell intoxicated my mind, something so different from what I knew, and I realized I was not alone.

"Well hello there, beautiful girl!" a hoarse manly voice yelled. That man was probably drunk.

"Hey."

I got up, brushing the dirt off my white clothes as the three humans got closer to me and to be honest, they were no trouble. For me, at least. The first one was taller than the others, big, green eyes and a warm smile, even though his eyes screamed something different to me. The other one had blond, curly hair and icy blue eyes, with a less build up body than the first and the third one had black hair and black eyes. He reminded me of…

"What are you doing here, in this scary wood, where many bad things could happen to you?" I noticed he accentuated the word "bad", but I tried not to think about it. Too much, at least.

"Taking a walk. I'm more of a dangerous girl." I spoke, discreetly wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Oh, we like dangerous." The blond one winked at me, a wicked smile spreading on his bloody lips. His eyes were slightly red, but it didn't matter, they looked so shiny and bright. He gave the tallest one a high five and they laughed a little. Such a funny group, I can say.

"So, what about you? What's with you in the woods?" I asked, smiling a little smile, just to give them a good impression of me. Honestly, they were the only people I've ever met on my own, not family-related or anything like that and they seemed like a bunch of awesome guys. And since I needed some friends to spend my time with, it wasn't a bad idea. Not at all.

"Uh, you see, we were doing some E, probably some Coke too." The black eyed man grinned.

"Coke? The juice?"

They laughed in unison, fact that made me feel even more awkward and confused than before. What were they talking about? They couldn't be…

"Oh." I finally said catching up with them.

"Wanna have your first trippy? Come on, it's fun. " he insisted, looking so excited and happy and I just couldn't resist. After all, I'm half vampire. It won't do me lots of harm and I took the first step on a different path, different from the one I've been stuck on because of my relatives. I can finally do whatever I want to…

"Okay. But can you at least introduce yourself? " I forced myself to talk, and as soon as I did, I felt the blood boil into my cheeks.

"Well, I'm Brandon." The blue eyed man smiled at me. "I am—" but the black eyed man interrupted him.

"Nah, girly, we have no time for names, although it would be such an honor to know yours. Only if you want to, of course. "

"It's…Renesmee." I swallowed hard as soon as his eyes looked into mine. "Ruh-nez-may." I spelled out, figuring out that they were a bit confused by the pronunciation. "My parents are two idiots, and they were trying to have fun while giving me this fucking horrible name." I said, rolling my eyes and I heard them laugh.

"No. It's…beautiful. But we'll call you Ren, righty? " Brandon said, grinning. "Now, with what should we start, mi amore?" he imitated an Italian accent, which clearly didn't end up too well. I had to giggle at that.

"Let's start with the cocaine." I gulped, fear giving me a silly sensation of numbness inside, but I pushed it away, considering the fact that I wanted to be treated like an adult, not some silly little baby. I wanted to be carefree, headstrong and rebellious and this is my change. The only I might get in a whole life.

"Take this."

The green eyed man threw me a little package, the white paper wrapped messily into a little ball and it landed perfectly, in my very pale and thin hands. Barely using my fingertips, I softly rip it in two, revealing the white Cocaine, soft as the dust, but from what I've heard, it can get you in There. Never done this before, but since I just ended my , there has to be a start in something new. It was a once in a life time moment, where I could do whatever I wanted, without my cranky family of vampires spying over me. Life starts now.

They said it was for my own protection, but to be honest, I'd rather get killed the day after tomorrow than have to take their annoyingly beautiful voices raise at me.

"Ren, I have second thoughts about this. I don't want to harm you in any kind of way… This can cause addiction." Brandon spoke to me, his shiny eyes filled with fear and anxiety, kicking the ground with his skinny legs.

"I'm sure. I want to have fun, but if you don't, no worries." I said, smiling at him, but it turns out I was as nervous as he was.

It was the first time I unleashed my inner reckless side. All these nine years I've lived I was the little good girl with big brown eyes that always listens her family's advice and wears preppy clothes, but tonight, it will all change. Once, and for all.

"You ready?" he whispered, his voice too weak to go any louder, barely audible, even for me because of their laughing.

"Yeah."

With my hands shaking a little, I brought it to my nose and I sniffed it a little. I choked, but swallowed hard, telling myself that this happens to everybody new in this domain. I took another sniff, this time harder and I managed to inhale it without any problem. It was very exciting, but also disappointing. Wasn't I supposed to see crazy things that normally I shouldn't and laugh so bad I pass out? Either way, I inhaled more and I started feeling a little bit dizzy.

"What's wrong, babe? Too much from Sebastian ?" He winked at me, less tenser than before, from what I could sense. "Ah, that's my name." he laughed hard and bit his lip, bringing a pill to his lips. Unwillingly, I moved closer to him and I looked straight into his eyes.

"Let's see what you got." I smirked and leaned in, for a kiss. I lost any kind of shyness and pressed my lips against his. It was my first kiss, and it wasn't exactly what I imagined and neither was the person I imagined having it with. But I wasn't going to step back and embarrass myself, so I moved my lips against his roughly.

He started kissing back and the little pill danced in our mouths, around our wet tongues, slowly diluting . Shaky moans made their way out of my throat as he pushed his tongue into my mouth more and I could feel my insides tensing when I heard the other's cheers. His hands moved from my hips to my butt and I shivered, hoping that nobody noticed my nervousness. His thumbs massaged my skin through the expensive white material of my pants and my hands tugged his short hair roughly. We broke away for a second, to catch our breaths and I was greeted by the deep dark eyes of Jacob.

"What's wrong, baby?" his smooth voice made my heart seethe and fill with a sudden joy I thought I wouldn't feel. "Don't you want to kiss me?" he purred, his intense black eyes bringing fog upon my already crazy thoughts .

"How did you get here?" I whispered, amazed.

"I was here all the time, babe." He smiled, his smooth, brown lips revealing his pearly white teeth. Every time I saw him joyful, my heart skipped hundreds of beats and I felt like I was alive. Like everything that happened didn't really matter, as long as he was there, next to me, protecting me…loving me. Frantic screams of my mother echoed into my mind, of her saying the stuff she said and I could feel tears fill up in my eyes again. His right thumb immediately wiped away the only tear rolling down my cheek and he kissed it.

"What's wrong, darling?"

"I thought you didn't love me. I thought you were gone…away from me. It's just…surreal." I breathed, amazed and euphoric.

My lips shyly moved against his and he put his left hand under my chin, to support my face. I was so happy right now that after I ended this kiss, I could die and float through the Sealand, it wasn't such a loss if I ended my life in his arms.

His lips moved to my ear and his teeth grazed it softly. I let out a little whimper, pleasure and pain hitting a button that sent me in Heaven. His hands traveled up and down on my body and stopped on my thighs. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to control a scream as he rubbed his thumb against my most sensitive part of body. I let my head fall between my shoulders and he used his other hand to lift my head up, make me look him in the eyes and passionately kiss. He stopped the massage and I sighed, disappointed, but he opened the button of my pants, slowly tugging them down.

Suddenly, I felt him break away from me and a heart wrenching scream escaped from his throat. I could feel the fear grow bigger and stronger inside of me. Who could even dare to harm my dear Jacob? I tried getting up, but the images were so hazy and blurred that I lost my balance and fell back, crashing hard against the cold ground. I let out a long, but silent moan, I think I just broke one bone, but my mind was stuck on Jacob and the rude way we got interrupted.

I heard a pained , angry howl and I realized that the person I almost gave my innocence to was not the one I thought I'd give it to. But now, it was too late to regret. My eyes shut in pain as soon as I saw the foggy, but still heart breaking image of the huge, russet wolf looking at me with such loving and devoted eyes it hurt. If my heart had a face, it would be crying rivers hysterically, planning to never ever stop until it drowned into a deep lake of pain…