Author's Chapter Notes:
Ok,
Day One: Watching The Fellowship of the Ring with Tolkien. (Oh, and I
want everyone to know I'm not dissing the movies. I LOVE THE MOVIES!
It's just supposed to be funny.)
Oh, and this probably won't make
much sense to you if you haven't read the books.
"Well,
they finally made it."
"Made what?"
"The
movie,"
"What movie?"
"The movie of Lord of
the Rings, of course!"
"Oh no." Tolkien is clearly
shocked. "Did they utterly destroy it till there was nothing
left?"
"Well, you better decide for yourself," I
say. "So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show."
I
slide the DVD into the player. Soon the menu pops up. I'm about to
hit play, but Tolkien interrupts.
"What's "Special
Features"?
"Oh, that," I respond. "Well you
see, nowadays people aren't satisfied with just a movie. They have to
go behind the scenes and see other stuff."
"Strange,"
Tolkien muses.
"Not really," I respond. "They're
actually rather fun. But for now, we're just going to watch the
movie." I hit play and the movie starts. Tolkien watches, wide-
eyed. It plays through the intro and he seems pleased.
"Nice intro," he comments. "Although Sauron could have been scarier."
Then the real movie begins, zooming in on the
Shire. "That's the Shire," I explain to Tolkien.
"I
know," is the reply. "I like how it's portrayed. There's a
hobbit reading under a tree. Really adds to the atmosphere. "
"That's
Frodo," I say.
"WHAT?! Surely not!"
"It
is."
"Are you seriously saying that's Frodo? Why, that
hobbit could be his grandchild! He looks 18."
"He is,"
I explain. "They had to make him that young. Otherwise, he
wouldn't have been cute enough and the movie wouldn't have been very
popular."
"Oh."
We watch Gandalf come by in his
cart and pick Frodo up. As they travel through the Shire, Tolkien
seems to calm down after the shock of Frodo's age. They travel
through the Shire and come to the hobbit hole.
Tolkien leans
forward. "Well, at least Bilbo looks right. And the hobbit
hole's not too bad either."
Then the long expected party
begins. Tolkien smiles as fireworks burst into the air and Bilbo
makes his speech. Later, when Gandalf talks to Bilbo and then Frodo
about the ring, he nods and is impressed. He is a bit confused when
Frodo and Sam set out on their journey without Pippin, but doesn't
seem to mind that much when Merry and Pippin just turn up. He likes
how they did the Nazgul and how they show the chase. But then, the
hobbits suddenly arrive in Bree, and Tolkien is obviously flustered.
"What happened? Did I miss something?" he asks. "Where
are Farmer Maggot and the Old Forest and Tom Bombadill and the
Barrowdowns?"
"They had to cut it," I explain.
"Or the movie would have been too long."
"But I
spent a lot of work on those bits! The story isn't complete without
Tom Bombadill, the merry fellow, whose boots are yellow!"
"Don't
worry," I assure him. "People still read your books. But, I
agree, it is a shame."
The movie goes on. The hobbits go to the inn and meet the bartender. Tolkien comments that the Prancing Pony pub seems a little too gloomy and uninviting, but that the events seem okay. Then, after Aragorn makes his appearance, he speaks again. "What's going on? I never intended to write Aragorn that young and good-looking. Doesn't anyone remember: 'All that is gold does not glitter?' "
"But I've already explained,"
I protested."They had to do it to make the movie successful."
"I
suppose so, "Tolkien mutters and sits back down.
The movie
jumps to Gandalf and Saruman. Tolkien sits patiently through the
conversation, then jumps up. "Did I hear that last line right?
Did Saruman REALLY say, "We must join with Sauron."?
"That he did," I tell him. "They thought it would be more dramatic that way."
"But that's not how I wrote it at all! Saruman doesn't want to join with Sauron. The ring is too powerful for that. Saruman wants to rule over alone."
"They thought it would be more dramatic," I repeat. "Now watch, soon they're going to have some sort of wizard fight." Tolkien gapes but remains silent. The movie goes on like this, with Tolkien making occasional comments.
He is again confused when Arwen
arrives. "Where's Glorfindel?" he questions.
"Glorfindel
doesn't exist in these movies," I tell him. "They gave his
role to Arwen."
Then when Elrond enters, Tolkien seems
perturbed. "Who is that?" he asks. "Is that the Mouth
of Sauron? He looks so evil."
"That's Elrond," I
explain.
"What is with those strings of hair hanging over his
face?"
"I think they are some sort of Elvish custom," I say. "They symbolize his wisdom."
When the fellowship of the ring is formed, he doesn't object. "Gimli and Legolas look just right," he comments. "And Boromir's not too bad either."
Then the Fellowship comes to Moria.
When Frodo figures out the secret of the doors, Tolkien's face
hardens.
"What is it now?" I ask him.
"Why did
it seem like Frodo figured out the secret of the doors?" he
asks. "I made it that Gandalf sat for a while and then he got
it."
"I guess they wanted it to seem like Frodo was really great," I offer.
Soon, the sea creature grabs Frodo, and Tolkien frowns. "Why is the sea creature swinging Frodo over the lake in such a hideous manner?" he queries. "I never wrote it so dramatic."
"But that's exactly why they made it like that," I counter. "To be more dramatic."
Then, when they come to the grave of Balin and Pippin makes the skeleton fall, Tolkien gasps. "I know I made Pippin foolish, but I didn't make him that foolish!" He exclaims.
Soon, Gimli has his outburst at the death of Balin and again Tolkien looks upset. "Now what's wrong?" I ask.
"Gimli." Tolkien replies. "He's so undignified. In the book, I wrote 'Gimli cast his hood over his face.' Look at him now."
"But it shows his grief," I tell him. "All movies are like this."
We watch the Fellowship travel through the rest of Moria and I think Tolkien is impressed with the orcs and Gandalf's fall. Then, when they get to Lothlorien, his smile grows even wider.
The movie goes on through Boromir's death. Then comes the scene where Sam drowns trying to come to Frodo and Tolkien is aghast. "What?" is all I say.
"I suppose you'd say it was more dramatic to have an underwater shot of Sam drifting aimlessly with his hair billowing out," he says.
We watch Frodo and Sam row away and then
it is over. I look at Tolkien. "Well?" I question.
Tolkien
hesitates. "Not too shabby," he responds. "Not too
shabby at all. Now, about those special features..."
PLEASE REVIEW