I have never written fanfic before and wished to try my hand at it, hope you like it or at least not hate it entirely(fingers crossed). And I simply couldn't wait till the next episode. ;p I do not own the rights to this series or any of its characters.

The Beat Goes On

Series S04E01

By Feytwilight

He wandered, lost, down the hall, shrouded in darkness, the distant yells echoing behind him. He couldn't stop seeing her in his mind's eye, she's alive and touching him in a way no one has ever touched him, she lies dead her eyes staring accusingly, she kisses him gently without the slightest hint of reservation, her blood soaks an unflattering white shroud, the last outfit she would ever wear, and all because of him. Joe heard the muted shrieks behind him and knew he was damned.

Why hadn't he put Cindy Waltney in an interrogation room straight away, he should have taken better precautions. Why didn't he take Morgan home when she had asked him to? Why hadn't he changed his shirt? He knew that didn't make sense, but it must be the reason. That was why this had happened; he hadn't even snapped the rubber band. He looked at his wrist and with a twist of his lips snapped the rubber band, and then again, and again, this was his fault, he had killed her, SNAP! The rubber band broke around his sore, welted wrist and landed on the tiled floor. He came to a halting stop and stared at the torn bit of rubber. He wanted to leave it there, what worse could happen if he did? He suddenly saw a vision of Miles in torment, Kent screaming in agony, again… He knelt down quickly and picked it up with a weak sob wrenched from his throat. He entered the nearest door, a janitorial closet, and hurriedly chucked it in the bin. Then he went to find the bottle hidden in his desk.

Miles knew that saying this was not good would be an understatement. Chandler couldn't handle this right now, he was obviously in shock, which meant he had to deal with the screaming bitch, the poor girl's body, the questions, and the bloody paper work, all after having had no sleep for last few days and working a hell of an enquiry. DS Miles lifted his head and ordered the men restraining Mrs. Waltney to read her rights and put her in a cell downstairs. Then he ordered the gawkers to go fuck themselves and had SOCO come to take care of the crime scene and the body. Anyone could see what had happened, they had messed up, but procedure had to be followed. Actions would have to be made, against constable Landsmen who had been put in charge of the bitch at the very least. And they would all need to be debriefed, eventually. DI Salvo came to take charge of the situation, which was probably for the best. Miles and his team were completely knackered body and soul. He and a pale Kent shared a meaningful look. But before he clocked off he had to find the Guv, and he had a sinking feeling that he knew where to look.

Miles panted as he finally reached the roof of the Met and spotted DI Joseph Chandler sitting precariously on the ledge of the building. Chandler had a large bottle of Vodka in one hand, half empty. An empty silver flask sat on the ledge beside him. He should probably keep his promise and give the Boss some space, but after seeing how wretched he looked, he thought, maybe not just yet. Miles approached cautiously, "Er, are you alright Sir?" Miles flinched when Jo giggled out,

"Sir?!"

"Are your…issues that bad right now?" Miles asked tentatively. Chandler lifted the bottle by the neck and took a swig.

"I'm drinking to get drunk Miles."

"This ain't a good place to get pissed."

"I can't think of a better place, go away Miles."

"Ya know I can't do that, whatever Morgan said-" Chandler clutched his head.

"-Don't, Don't say her name!-"

"-I can't leave you alone right now. You look like you're about to take the shortcut to the lobby."

"Maybe I am…why shouldn't I, it's like you said, I don't really have anyone, it doesn't matter what happens to me." Chandler took an extra long swig and stared down past his dangling legs at the pavement far below.

"It's not your fault."

"Isn't it?"

"You know it isn't."

"She, she kissed me Miles, did you know that?"

"Aw, sir." Miles shuffled awkwardly, understanding now why Joe had seemed so uncharacteristically happy not so long ago.

"We had planned a date, an actual date, I could have seen myself being with her forever, she could have been my Judy, and I killed her."

"No, that bitch killed her, not you. She was right though."

"R-Right?"

"Morgan was, I shouldn't have interfered, got you two together, meddled with your personal life, I've reduced you to this state." Chandler turned around suddenly, his face flushed.

"S'not your fault, it's all mine, everything is." Miles grabbed Chandler by his sleeve. Chandler flinched.

"Come on Boss, let's get you home, we'll sort this out latter." Chandler sniffed suspiciously but let himself be pulled down and away from the ledge by Miles. Miles plucked the mostly empty bottle out of his hand, set it on the ground, and gently prodded a stumbling Chandler toward the Exit.

After sneaking him out of the Met, he drove to Chandler's apartment building and had some comedic problems dragging his semi-conscious Boss, who sometimes made him feel like a midget, up to his apartment and past a straight-faced doorman. Luckily Miles had a spare keycard and knew the number to unlock the door, which he then proceeded to do as Chandler leaned against the wall with his eyes closed. Miles then shoved him inside. Miles had been to Chandler's apartment on a number of occasions, the first time had been to get him home after Chandler'd been nearly catatonic from getting doused in sewage during the Fleet River case, now that had been a bad 'un! Then there had been the Kray incident, that unfortunate attempt at a birthday party, and the break in. The last time had been when he needed to get some sleep and simply couldn't close his eyes with the baby and kids at home so he'd knocked off at Chandler's in a fit of desperation and a sleeping bag. Chandler's apartment was a study in muted earthy tones, gadgetry, and glass; all the lights were dim so that they wouldn't bother him when he got one of his heads. Miles guided Chandler to his bed, where he promptly collapsed. Miles then wondered what he should do, should he really leave the Boss here by himself? He looked at him sprawled unnaturally in all directions, hair sticking up and his back and face still tense even when asleep. He wished there was someone he could call, some family member or other to look after him, but there wasn't, there was just him. Miles sighed and decided to try out Morgan's advice, Chandler was safe at the moment and he doubted that he would appreciate being mollycoddled right now anyway. So he made the uncomfortable decision to leave Chandler to look after himself and went to go see to the rest of the team and to his own family. He'd worry about the Boss and everything else after getting at least a few hours shuteye.

It had been almost two weeks since the Bogeyman case and Chandler had still not returned, he remained on sick leave. Morgan's sad funeral had occurred the week before. Buchan had attended. When he returned he informed the rest of the team in a quiet voice that her mother had been absolutely devastated. Which was to be expected. Miles and the rest of the team had tried convincing the Guv to come back but to no avail, even Commander Anderson, who had been less than sympathetic, had tried. Kent kept rearranging the items on his desk as if making up for Chandler's absence. He also snapped at everything and everyone and tried to focus on working the cold files so that he would be extra sharp for when the Boss returned, which he increasingly insisted would be soon. Miles was not so sure.

Funnily enough and to Miles' chagrin it was Buchan who finally resolved everything.