Summary: Angst, drabble, Sam's POV. First timer, be gentle please!
Disclaimer: As much as I would like to, I own nothing. And never will.
Commitment
See, I have this brother. People tell me he has a problem with commitment. One night stands litter the road behind us. The times he is emotionally involved with a girl, seems like he can't wait to get the hell out of Dodge. Move out, move on.
He won't even commit to a conversation most of the time. He'll play the part and inhabit the mask, so don't even try to talk about anything real. Take it lightly, shrug it off, no big deal, what are you talking about? What problem?
To my mind it's not a problem with committing too little. He commits too much, to all the wrong causes. To go into a hunt knowing that unless you kill, you die – that's a committing situation. And he will take that decision unblinking, wade on in without a second thought.
He's committed his whole life to dad's cause, to killing the demon. No matter how he was raised, he had a choice about that. I have to believe that, or his life becomes a tragedy in my mind. Not a waste, because he's saved too many lives for that... But when was the last time he dreamed of a future for himself?
He's far too heavily committed to far too little – to the job, to the demon, and to me.
Any of us could kill him.
It breaks my heart, but it's important that there are no illusions on this point – I am a clear and present danger to my brother.
He's committed himself to what is most likely to betray him. Yep, he definitely has a problem with commitment.