Happy Avengers Day! On "Friday, I'm in love", some of you had asked me to do a scene where Tony or Pepper becomes jealous. I tried for a long time to come up with a new scenario for that situation, but then it dawned on me. I've already written one! So I pulled this fic out of my vault, and am publishing a good bit of it today. MUCH insane jealousy to be had in this one! Hope you enjoy it! :D
Pepper stared at the object on the bathroom counter, holding her breath. She was fixated on it, in fact, and had been for the last two minutes, waiting, with a knot in her stomach, feeling like her entire life was hanging in the balance. If she was shown what she was thinking she would be shown, she and Tony would be suddenly thrown into a whole new dynamic together. At least I hope we'd still be together, she thought glumly. She knew he loved her more than anything, but it was she who had led Tony by the hand down the path of being in a committed relationship. He'd been hesitant about her moving in, and about her having her name on the deeds to the mansion and the tower, but he'd relented, realizing his own insecurities weren't serving their goal of being together for the long haul and her trying to help him protect his assets. So, he'd trusted her, and been a champ by deciding to be proactive and making the necessary moves in order to start building a life with her. But this? This had the power to devastate all of that work, and leave them both reeling.
Suddenly, something began to appear on the indicator screen of the object, and she gasped.
"Not pregnant," she murmured, reading what was on the digital display.
Pepper exhaled in relief. "Oh my God," she said, shaking her head, and putting a hand to her chest. She closed her eyes briefly to calm herself, and then opened them, grabbing the test and throwing it away. She had secretly thought about what it would be like to have a baby with Tony, but now wasn't the right time. For either of them. And thankfully, it didn't have to be.
She quickly washed her hands and grabbed the hand towel hanging close by. But she furrowed her brow in thought as she dried her hands. She had to tell him what she'd done. He needed to know. Because she needed to know, if she was ever in this situation again, what he would do. Would he even want a baby with her? Would he be there to support her if she did accidentally get pregnant? Would they stay together?
Pepper nodded with resolve to herself, and rehung the towel. She jogged down the stairs from the bedroom, and then down to the workshop, punching in her access code before pulling the glass door open with a hiss. She found Tony soldering something at the workbench, not noticing her enter until he hear the click-clack of her heels on the concrete floor.
He turned briefly to look over his shoulder, smiling politely to acknowledge her, and then turning back toward his work. "Hey, beautiful," he said. "What're you up to?"
"Well, funny you should ask," she said, chuckling nervously. "I'm a little late, so I decided to take a pregnancy test." She pursed her lips, and waiting for his reaction.
Tony stopped working and froze. He turned to look at her, his eyes wide. "And?" he said cautiously.
"And it was negative," she said, frowning a little at the look of panic on his face.
Tony heaved a heavy sigh of relief, and smiled. He chuckled. "Phew! Good! Thank God! I was about to have a melt down there! I mean, wow, that would've been..." He made a disapproving face and looked away awkwardly.
Pepper frowned. "It would've been what, Tony?" she asked in rising annoyance. "Are you saying that if I was..."she motioned around her middle. "...Then you wouldn't...you'd...even now?"
Tony grimaced and sucked in a breath through his teeth. "I went too far with that one, didn't I? Wow. Ok. Ummm," he pursed his lips together, trying to ignore the smoking holes that Pepper's glare was burning into his forehead. "What I meant was that it would be very sudden. I mean, kids? Now? I'm not even sure that's something..."
"Wow," Pepper muttered, rolling her eyes. "Ok. You know what? Forget it. I shouldn't have said anything," she said, backing away with her hands raised in defense. Tony watched the hurt in her eyes as she turned her back to him.
She spun around to face him again before leaving the room, this time with more ire. "I'm mean, how silly of me to think that we could have a rational discussion about our future."
"What discussion?!" Tony shot back. "You march down here, announcing you took a pregnancy test, and leading me to believe that you're..."
"Well, I'm not. And I didn't lead you to believe anything, Tony! I thought you should know what I'd done in the off chance that we could have a mature discussion about what we want for the future, in case this kind of situation ever arises again! But obviously that was too much to ask. I even mention the word 'baby' and you hyperventilate. Do you realize we've never discussed what it is either of us really want in this relationship? We've missed a major detail here, Tony," she argued.
"Uh, for the record, Pepper, the words you used were 'I just took a pregnancy test,' and, nothing else. What was I supposed to think? You caught me off guard! That's it!" he argued back. "And frankly, anybody would be caught off guard if you pulled the goalie on them like that!"
"Oh really!" Pepper barked. She crossed her arms sternly. "Well, let me bring you up to speed! I want a family, Tony. And I want one with you. But I need to know right now! Do you want a family with me? Or at all?"
Tony frowned and pursed his lips. He looked silently into Pepper's eyes as this question hung over the top of them like a storm cloud ready to burst.
Pepper nodded her head when he didn't answer. "Ok," she murmured hoarsely, her eyes suddenly welling with tears. She shrugged and chewed her lip. "I guess I have my answer," she said. She choked back a sob and stormed back upstairs toward their bedroom. Tony watched her go, his heart aching with regret and his mind reeling from what just happened. Why didn't you answer her, you jackass?!, he scolded himself in his mind. He felt frozen to the spot where he was standing.
After a few moments, Tony willed his body to move, and he trudged slowly upstairs to their bedroom door. He went to knock, but he was soon greeted by a fiery-eyed Pepper. She flung the door open and stormed through it, two suitcases in hand. Tony followed her as she stomped down the stairs and slammed them on the floor by the front door. She spun around to grab her purse from the entry table. She yanked the top zipper open and began to furiously rummage through it.
"I'll go to New York tonight," she said. "I might as well," she muttered.
"Pepper, wait," Tony said.
"No, Tony. It's fine. It's my fault. I should have known not to assume anything about our relationship. I guess trusting that you and I want the same things was a mistake," she replied. She swiped angrily at the tears streaking down her cheeks.
"Pepper, listen to me," Tony begged. "I didn't answer because I didn't want to screw it up."
"Well, that was a good plan!" she exclaimed, raising her eyes to look at him. "Tony, I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you to..." she paused to rummage some more. "To..." she blew her bangs out of her eyes hastily. "Dammit!" she cried. "Where the hell are my..."
Tony had guessed her keys were what she was looking for and found them lying on the entry way table as she had been searching. He held her keys up in front of her sheepishly, and she swiped them away from him, making him startle. "Thank you," she huffed. She exhaled sharply. "As I was saying, it was never my intention to make you feel pressured into any part of our relationship."
"And I don't!" he replied.
"But your reaction to even the possibility of me being pregnant speaks volumes! You obviously have something to think about. So that's why I'm going to New York by myself. To give you the space to do that," she said.
Tony frowned in disappointment. He had been looking forward to their little mini get-away to New York together. Their lives had been very chaotic lately, and he needed the time away. They both did. But he wasn't going to push the issue. Not with Pepper in this state.
"Apparently, we need to re-think everything we're doing," she said. She stopped for a moment. "And you need to decide what you want."
Tony smiled weakly. "Pepper," he said cautiously. "I want a family." Pepper rolled her eyes.
"I do!" he said defensively.
"Yeah, and how do I know you're telling me the truth? Right now, I feel like I've guilted you into submission," she said.
Tony smiled slightly despite himself. "Pepper, you haven't made me feel guilty about anything," he tried to reassure.
"All the same, this topic needs some time to breathe, I think," Pepper said. "So I'll go to New York. And I'll be back on Monday. Maybe we can talk again, then."
Tony nodded, looking away as she brushed past him. He grabbed her bags and helped her load them into her trunk. "I love you," he said weakly, as she slammed the trunk lid loudly and walked to the driver's side.
Pepper sighed heavily, and turned to face him. "I love you too, Tony," she said, with disappointment still in her voice. She opened the door and climbed in. Tony bit his lip in frustration, and frowned as he watched her drive away.