(Authors Note) A song fic, my first song fic so… yeah.
The characters are Masashi Kishimoto's .
The song is 'Perfect' by Simple Plan.
Let's go.
----
"Get up."
Hey Dad look at me
She did… somehow she did. Her arms trembled as she pushed her sore body upwards and stood on quavering legs. Slowly Hinata lifted her stiff limbs into the gentle fist style her father had beaten into her memory.
Think back and talk to me
"Again." He snapped getting into a different gentle fist style. Hinata took a steadying breath and tensed her muscles. Hiashi turned his left ankle outward slightly and that was all the warning and time she got to sidestep and strike out.
Did I grow up according
To plan?
His left hand jabbed towards her unprotected shoulder; she did an arabesque to the right managing to both knock his left hand away with her foot and elbow his right hand away from her mid torso. She used her free hand to execute a one handed cartwheel which brought her practically side by side with Hiashi. Keeping pace with his daughter he brought his left elbow down hitting Hinata squarely between her shoulder blades. She bit back a sharp cry of pain, favoring to aim a strike at his upper torso between his chest and shoulder. He moved fast, but not fast enough to completely avoid her; Hinata's middle and ring finger grazed his serratus anterior (side of the chest under the armpit). They stood five feet away from each other; Hiashi's movement was a blur as he lunged at her.
And do you think I'm wasting
My time
Over the past few months Hinata had taken up ballet as her hobby. It helped to calm her down, loosen her muscles, and balance her body better. Not only that but it was almost shocking how similar ballet moves were to the gentle fist style.
doing things I
Wanna do?
Naturally she tried to hide her new hobby. Hide it from the scorn, the negative comments, the family, her father, his sarcasm his disappointed looks. But she failed at that and it was widely regarded as a joke amongst her clan both Main and Branch.
But it hurts when you
Disapprove all along
To avoid a double handed attack that would've collided with the junction of her pectoral muscle and her deltoid she did a low sweeping dodge both avoiding his hand and getting in a very good solid shot with her palm from about where the bottom of his rib cage started to the upper most part of his hip.
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
But in doing so she left her entire back exposed. Hiashi brought both of his hands down, one hitting the small of her back the other hitting at the very base of her left shoulder blade. Hinata fell face first into the tatami mats and gave several gasping coughs as she felt the aftershock of her fathers attack ripple over her lungs. He looked rather annoyed as she struggled to breathe properly.
I'm never gonna be good
Enough for you
"Do you want to be weak all your life?" He snapped watching as she pushed herself up on trembling limbs. She ground her teeth together and tried to hold down the harsh scratching in her throat that urged her to cough. Her whole body hurt and screamed at her to stop this at once. But she wouldn't, she couldn't, she had to keep trying.
Can't pretend that
I'm alright
His annoyed look turned into an even more annoyed sigh as he lazily got into the gentle fist style they'd been practicing. Hinata forced her arms up, curving her elbows slightly, arching her wrist and keeping her fingers steady but relaxed. He attacked her fiercely forcing her to either keep dodging or stop him, though stopping him would take a lot more then the little amounts of chakra she'd been using against him.
And you can't change me
Once again he hit her full on the back causing Hinata to fall, but this time she landed on her knees.
"Get up." His tone was harsh and unforgiving as always.
She took in two very deep breathes which pained her entire body but forced herself onto her feet.
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
She dodged one hand but got hit in the side by his fingers and fell backwards painfully onto her butt. Determined she got to her feet and stumbled forward slightly but regained her composure and got tiredly back into the fighting stance.
I'm sorry
She lunged forward her right palm thrusting towards his chest, he blocked and lashed out with his left and hit her clavicle bone, her arms pin wheeled as she managed to maintain her balance.
I can't be
Hiashi sighed as if watching his daughter, or even being near her caused severe headaches for him.
Perfect
He knocked her hands away as she came at him with a half hearted boredom for a few moments; simply to see how her skill with the new style was progressing, then dropped her like a rock with a solid hit to her lower right side. She crumpled to the floor, her arms holding her sides tightly.
"Get up."
Now it's just too late
"Hinata. Get up." She shook slightly, her arms still holding her sides tightly. They hurt so badly… why did this always happen? Why did he always do this?
And we can't go back
Her arms wavered violently as she forced her torso up. Hinata inhaled and exhaled sharply and forced her body up onto her knees where she swayed slightly.
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect
"Get up. Now." Hinata closed her eyes and silently begged for the strength to stand. She didn't know where it came from… maybe the thought of 'I can do this' or perhaps the thought 'I am not weak' or perhaps the way Hiashi's eyes widened ever so slightly in well covered surprise, but she found the strength and stood.
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Her cough became a dry heave and her whole body shook as she tasted blood in the back of her throat. She took in a controlled breath and swallowed the acrid taste in her mouth and forced her back to straighten up, her arms arched with a somewhat renewed sense of strength. His surprise, however slight, grew the tiniest bit at the determined look set in his daughters eyes.
Did you know you used to be
My hero?
All the days
You spent with me
Now seem so far away
Had she been Hanabi he would've smirked at her determination. Had she been Hanabi he would've said something that either could've been taken as a compliment or an insult depending on the situation. Had she been Hanabi he would've been proud. But she was not Hanabi. She was Hinata and he hadn't put this much effort into training her since… since she was Hanabi's age. She came after him with surprising speed and her palm collided with his torso. Surprised and acting more so on reflex than the care of properly training her, he lashed out and slammed a palm into her chest directly above her heart. Hinata slammed into the wall but managed to stay on her feet.
And it feels like you don't
Care anymore
"We're done." Hiashi said turning his back to his eldest daughter. She managed to keep herself upright until the door snapped shut behind her persnickety father. Hinata fell forward, her outstretched hands barely catching her before she smacked into the tatami mats. She lay there for a moment, contemplating whether it was worth the effort to stand or not. Her chest heaved up and down rapidly as she forced herself upwards. Locking her knees stiffly she straightened her back out and brought her heavy limbs up. Carefully she arched her swollen fingers.
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good
Enough for you
She forced her body through the motions. It was much easier to do when her father wasn't attacking her; then again many things were easier without her father attacking her.
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
It was a half hour since Hiashi had left and she was only able to keep moving through sheer force of will. Oh yes… muscles would be sore and screaming in the morning, she'd probably have to spend a majority of her day at the hot springs recuperating; but as a child she had quickly come to the conclusion that the less time she spent at the house the better.
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
"Hinata?" The door slid open and there stood Hanabi looking at her older sister with an odd mix of awe and 'what-the-hell-are-you-doing?' "Hinata why are you still here? Father ended your training well over a half hour ago." Hinata turned her lackluster gaze towards her little sister, fathers pride and joy, the one who will most likely take over as heir to the Hyuuga household.
"I'm sorry… d-did you want to use this training room?" Hinata asked wiping an intermingling twist of blood, sweat, and spit from the corner of her mouth.
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect
Hinata favored her little sister with a soft smile and forced her sore muscles to move. She took heavy steps to the door and paused slightly as Hanabi moved aside for her.
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
"Always try y-your Hanabi-kun." Her smile grew slightly and she placed her hand on top of Hanabi's head. "And… don't give up. Okay?" Hinata tousled her hair in a sisterly manner and shuffled rather sluggishly down the hallway towards her room.
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect
It took a great deal of effort for her not to fall asleep in the bath. It relaxed her muscles so quickly, she could feel the bruises swell slightly all over her body in both a painful and relaxing manner. She could feel the internal bruising slowly start the long process of healing itself and felt particular pain where her chakra lines crossed with her nervous system from her plantar digital nerve's in her toes, largely in her first lumbar nerve, all the way up to her brain.
Nothing's gonna change
The things that you said
She lifted her aching fingers and flexed them, the joints were puffy, red and very very swollen. But as of late her joints always seemed swollen. From her toes all the way to her forehead just above her temples, all of it ached. She groaned in deep pain and pleasure as a swirl of slightly colder water moved across her stomach where the most damage had been inflicted. The last hit… the last one from her father had definitely left the most damage.
It hurt to push her body out of the bath tub, it hurt to move, it hurt to breath, hell it hurt to blink. But she did, she did all three. She put on her pajamas and barely made it to her bed before she collapsed onto it.
Nothing's gonna make this
Right again
She awoke as she awoke every morning to a rapt knocking on the door accompanied by a voice shrill enough that if listened to for more then five minutes would drill holes in a persons brain.
"I-I'm up Nadei-san" Hinata's voice cracked slightly and made her wince in pain. She tried to sit up with very little success. Her muscles were screaming at her in Nadei's voice that movement was, as of current, their mortal enemy. But a driving thought made her roll of the side of the bed which ended in a lot of pain for her hip. "Come on." She begged her body through gritted teeth. Oh yes… today would be a day she most definitely spent in the hot springs.
She took in several calming breaths and slowly, carefully, thoroughly, flexed every muscle in her body starting with her toes. It was a technique for loosening up her muscles that she'd learned, believe it or not, from her ballet lessons. It hurt, a lot, but by God it worked and soon the pain subsided long enough for her to heave her body upwards and waddle to the bathroom. No training with Hiashi today, definitely, no training with Hiashi today. Maybe she'd train a little on her own but if she did that it would most likely be ballet. She just didn't have the energy for gentle fist style of any sort.
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
It wasn't an odd thing for her to skip breakfast, in fact a vast majority of the Hyuuga households were not present at breakfast; but even if they were, Hinata knew they wouldn't miss her presence at the table. Just another nutrition consuming blob of organic material, just another meat puppet taking someone else's second helping. Besides… her spot at the table was beside her father. She didn't want to see him. To see the disappointed looks he'd give her, the annoyed sighs, how he'd never pass any food to her, or how he would never even look at her. Oh he'd look her way but his gaze was as if… as if she simply didn't exist. Merely an air vapor that hung around to long. The only time he really acknowledged her, he really looked at her and saw her was when they 'trained'. Training… more like being used as a moving punching bag. Just a mass of meat and bones and a bundle of chakra for Hiashi to hit.
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand
But Hinata pushed these bitter and highly depressing thoughts away as she crossed the street to one of the many training areas. It was quite a bit of a hike through the forest… but it was worth it. A nice secluded hot spring where she could relax and wouldn't have to worry about anything or anybody. Just some alone time where she could think and relax. Where she wasn't Hyuuga Hinata, failure to the Main house… she was just a girl. Just a regular dark haired, white eyed girl with so many bruises her body was camouflaged in purple, black, blue, and green. Just a girl. Just somebody.
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
Hinata submerged herself into the sizzling water with a sigh. Almost instantly she felt a wave of relaxation grip her bruised body and had to fight off waves of sleepiness. The peace and quiet of the forest didn't help either. She threw her arms up and arched out her back hoping that maybe if she did some stretching she'd wake up a bit. All it did was make the three massive blobs of black and purple pulse angrily and she accidentally bit her tongue in an effort to stop herself from crying out in pain. Deciding against further stretches she rested her arms on the rim of the rocks holding her body in place. This was done so that if she fell asleep… she wouldn't slip under the water. Of course considering the tranquility around her, her sore and slightly cramped muscles, and the fact that she hadn't gotten enough rest last night… she did in factfall asleep.
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect
She awoke with a start, her head snapping back as water filled her nose and sent her into a hacking fit of coughs. The sky above was a deep crushed velvet blue, the beautiful crescent moon was blazoned directly above her head. Midnight. Shit. She couldn't go home now. There was simply no way. Well… she could except… Well Hinata simply didn't have the courage to go sneaking into the Main house estate because she'd be caught practically the second she stepped foot inside the grounds. That would lead to who ever was on patrol to have to take her directly to her father; that was quite possibly the last thing she wanted at the moment. She just didn't have the heart to do that…
So what were her options? Kurenai-sensei was out on a mission, she could never ask to stay with Shino or Kiba. Hinata blushed at that thought, besides she had no idea where Kiba lived. She really didn't have any people that she was close enough with as friends that it would be okay for her to just show up at midnight so… where did that leave her? Wandering around Konoha all night. The thought was kind of exciting… like a spy mission or something. She smiled softly as she dressed. It was decided… She would stay out all night because… because she was too scared to go home and wake up her father.
"I really am such a coward." She said softly to herself as she trafficked the spaces between the trees. "No wonder father is ashamed of me."
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
Admittedly it was exciting, the streets empty, the street lamps sending odd and grotesque shadows to dance along the walls as she passed. If she hadn't lived in Konoha all her life, if this place was somewhere she'd never been before, she probably would've been very scared. But as it were… she had traveled this road many times on her way home from the academy and knew the way by heart. The darkness around her, the slight rustle of the wind, the absence of life… in a sense it was all very scary but… it made her feel bold. She felt energized by the night, she felt comfortable. As if she belonged to the night.
"It's because they don't see you… because you can just disappear into the darkness. Because even if you become nothing in the shadows… your still something." She told herself quietly. "Because in the light you're a screw up and a disgrace…" A small smile danced across her lips. "But in the darkness… your just another nameless shinobi. No different the Kiba-kun or Neji-san." Internally she laughed at the thought, her the same as Neji? That was a riot. But outwardly she just kept on smiling; because in the darkness… it was some much easier to hide your imperfections.
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect