I was incredibly bored when I write this. It was the weekend and my computer decided that it hated the world and it committed suicide. -grumbles at computer- So anyway my entire life got deleted (need to learn how to backup files) and I began to write out fanfic by hand (V. sad I know) and I was annoyed with one page in particular so I ripped it out and began to fold it into a plane. And now that you know my life story I think I may let you read.

Warning: T'is a Yaoi fic though the guys involved never actually meet so make what you want to make of it KxT

Disclaimer: Never have, Don't, Never will own Beyblades kapeesh?

Dear Kai,

I'm just writing to tell you something. It's been weighing down on me for quite some time now. Kai, I lo-

Tala ripped the page he was writing on from his notebook. Carefully, he folded it into a plane shape and threw it at the bin nearby. The plane curved away from the bin and hit the wall beside it making the plane fall neatly into the bin.

Damn I'm good, Tala thought, smirking. He sat back on his bed with a sigh. But my letter writing sucks. He gazed around his room at all the planes scattered around the floor. Only his most recent letters had actually made it to the bin. I need to work on my aim.

Tala could think of a heap of things that he would rather be doing. He had been trying to write a letter to Kai for hours now. But all he really had achieved was making his room look like a miniature airport. That, and kill a forest with all the paper he had wasted. Whenever he started to write his letter just turned out unbearably corny. Was there any way to write what he felt and make it not sound so bad? Probably not Tala conceded.

Still he clicked the button on his pacer yet again and began to write.

Dear Kai,

When I first met you I knew that you would always be an important person in my life. It's been only lately that I've realized just how important you are to me. I don't know when it happened, I don't even know how but only day it just clicked. My life would not be the same without you. I have known that ever since I met you all those years ago but I've only just realized why. I lov-

Tala ripped the page off his notebook and began to fold yet another plane. Why am I even doing this? It's not like I'll ever send it to him.

He shuddered at the thought of Kai's reaction to Tala's feelings for him. Anything but that. His life would not be worth living if Kai found out. Tala would rather suffer from unrequited love than be rejected by Kai. At least while he loved Kai from afar he had a small amount of hope. If he ever told Kai of his feelings Kai would reject him and refuse to ever speak to Tala again. No, anything was better than that fate.

Tala sighed and threw the plane toward the bin. He watched it glide down to land exactly in the middle of the pile accumulating in the bin. Mentally giving himself a high five, Tala sat up and threw his pacer viciously against the wall. He smirked as he heard the satisfying crack of the lead inside the pacer as it broke.

Tala realised that he had been sitting in the same place for hours trying to compose a letter he would never send. Very productive if I do say so myself. He sighed and pushed his notebook off his lap, deciding to go for a walk to try and collect his thoughts.

He stood and pulled on a bright orange jacket. He'd read somewhere that orange clothes weren't meant to go with red hair but he'd been pulling it off for years now. And besides, orange was one of his favourite colours.

Tala snatched his keys from the table beside the front door of his apartment and opened the door. He pulled the door shut behind him and locked it. Tala began to walk toward the elevator trying to decide where he would go.

He still hadn't answered that question when he reached the lobby of his building and so decided to just walk until he was as far away from his notebook and pacer as possible.

Tala pushed open the doors to his building. He shook his head, irritated, even when he didn't have a pencil and paper prospective letters still flitted through his mind.

Dear Kai,

Roses are Red

Violets are blue

Kai, did you know

That I love you?

Oh God, the letters are getting worse! I thought that practice made perfect! Tala thought despairingly, it seemed to work on paper planes.

He sighed and began to walk down the street. Tala's mind began to drift. He started to dream of the Bahamas. With the sun nice and high, lying on the beach with a coconut in his hand. Just riding in on one of the crystal clear waves was a really hot guy with blue, spiky hair; his body was glistening with tiny droplets of water running down his chest. The guy overbalanced and plunged into the water, his surfboard doing an impressive flip above the waves before falling to join him beneath the water.

That'd be a great way to start off a letter, Tala thought, wryly.

Dear Kai,

Today I was dreaming about you. In my dream we were in the Bahamas and you stacked it when you tried to surf.

That'd make him run into my arms for sure. Tala looked around and realised that in his daze he had wandered into a café. Deciding that coffee would clear his mind Tala ordered a cappuccino and sat down on an outside table.

Tala absently pulled a pen out of his pocket and began to doodle on his napkin. After a few minutes of doing that Tala looked down at what he had been drawing. He realised that it was a picture, albeit a very bad picture, of Kai on a surfboard.

Tala flipped his napkin over. It was bad enough that he was obsessing over Kai in writing, did it really need to cross over into the realm of drawing the guy?

A waitress brought his cappuccino over to him and set it down with a coquettish smile. Tala smiled back and thanked her for his drink. When the waitress still stood there as if waiting for him to say something Tala's smile became a glare. The waitress squeaked in fright at how the strange guy in orange could change from being genial to looking almost murderous in less than two seconds. She scuttled back inside, leaving Tala to his thoughts.

Tala smirked at the waitress's reaction to him and ripped open a sugar packet, dumping it into his cappuccino. He began to mix it in with a plastic spoon. Having finished that he raised the cup to his lips and took a sip. That is good coffee, Tala thought as he wiped off his foam moustache with his sleeve.

He glanced at the free side of his napkin. No, must resist the urge to write. That's why I came out here. Even with this talk telling him not to Tala's hand reached inexorably toward his pen.

Dear Kai,

You're all I ever dream of at night, in the day and any other time I care to dream. You astound me every day with you're attitude towards life and yourself. You are twice the person I will ever be and I guess that is why I love you.

Tala sighed and set himself to the task of shredding his napkin. That just made him sound like a stalker. Would he ever get his letter right?

And do what with it? His more rational self asked him. Store it away for them to find when you die? For some unknowing person to find it among all of your papers and to throw it away thinking it was just junk? It seems like such a waste.

But it's a waste that I have to finish; I'll go mad if I don't.

Tala sighed and tipped his cup up, drinking the last dregs of his cappuccino. He sat the cup back down on the table and left his money on the table, leaving no tip for the waitress.

Tala began to walk back to his apartment, still arguing with himself as to whether he should keep on writing his letter.

What if I wrote it and Kai found it?

Would that be so bad?

What if he read it and was disgusted by me? I know he could never think of me like that and our relationship would never be the same if he found out.

Have you noticed that all of your arguments start with a 'what if?'

Yes because that is what could happen

Key word being 'could'

It's still too risky, I can't write that letter because of the possible consequences

You'll regret it

Maybe, but Kai won't

Tala pulled himself away from his internal conversation. Who had he been speaking to anyway? Deciding that he didn't want to know Tala mentally shrugged and realised that he was almost in front of his apartment building. He sighed and realised that his walk had not taken as long as he'd hoped and now he'd be spending the afternoon studiously avoiding the small airport that he liked to call his bedroom.

Tala looked around the street in front of his apartment, searching for inspiration as to what to do.

A corner of a scarf flicked out of view around a corner. Tala started then inwardly scolded himself. Why was he jumping at the sight of a scarf? Plenty of people wore scarves- especially when it was this cold.

Tala ran his hand through his hair and began to walk into his building. He'd just have to figure out what to do for the rest of the afternoon when he reached his room. He had a feeling it would involve copious amounts of bad daytime television.

Tala stopped in the lobby and decided to check his mail before succumbing to the tortures of Days of our Lives or similar. It would do him good to obsess about bills that needed to be paid. At least he wouldn't be obsessing about a certain someone.

He walked to the front desk.

"Is there any mail for me?"

The man at the desk nodded and reached for Tala's mail.

"Yes, you just got a letter, it was delivered by hand, very unusual."

Tala smiled and took the bundle of letters the man gave him, unusual was his middle name, or it would be if he had one.

Carrying his bundle, Tala stepped on to the lift and pressed his floor on autopilot. He stared absently at the wall of the lift until it dinged, telling him to get off. Tala walked into his apartment and sat down on the couch. It was only then that he looked at his letters.

The one on top must be the one that was delivered by hand, he reasoned, I wonder who it's from?

Tala ripped open the purple envelope and pulled the letter from its envelope. He scanned it then stopped and reread it. Tala reread the mail twice more just to make sure his eyes had not deceived him. When he had done this he lay back on the couch with a smile slowly spreading across his features. He set down the letter and closed his eyes, replaying the contents in his mind.

Dear Tala,

This letter is a very difficult one for me to write. It took a long time for me to work up the courage to write this and even longer to realise that it didn't have to be perfect because I am not perfect. You, however, are. When I first met you I knew that. I also knew that you would always be an important part of my life. I've realised that your important role actually has a name. That name is 'Soul mate'. I've always known that I love you but I only now know quite how deeply. Maybe I'm a fool for writing this and you are disgusted and freaked out by me and now our relationship will never be the same. If you are, I understand and, although it will rip my still beating heart from my chest I will leave you alone. But always know this. Tala, I love you and my heart will always belong to you. I guess I wrote this because there may be a chance that you return my feelings. I hope that you do.

Yours in love forever,

Kai

Please tell me what you think