Just an idea that's been in my head since learning about Rumplestiltskin's blackened heart, and remembering that Snow split her own heart to give to Charming in Season 3. (Written before Season 4's finale)
Rating T for some violence and language.
"Mary Margaret?" I knock on the door of Snow's apartment, hoping that I haven't missed her. It takes a few more knocks before she answers.
"Belle?"
"Hi," I start nervously, still a little unsure even after all this time about how to address the Snow White. "I'm sorry for coming over like this but I need your help. It's about Rumple. Uh, Rumplestiltskin."
She opens the door further, gesturing me inside. Tentatively I step in, wringing my hands together while trying not look around too much. It wouldn't do to have people think I'm a snoop.
"David!" I hear her call out to her husband while I take a seat on her plush couch. She sits down close to me the moment Charming enters and furrows her brow. "What's happened with Gold?"
Gold. I don't hate the name; it just seems so callously impersonal. Perhaps it's my lack of interaction with people during the three decade long curse but I wish everyone would go back to the names they were born with.
"He – uh – his heart is... dying," I stammer, "It's black, he said, I don't know how long he has left." Despite my inarticulate ramblings Snow seems to know what I mean, nodding solemnly.
"We know," Charming says, "Regina told us before she left Storybrooke looking for Robin."
"Regina told you?" I don't know how the Evil Queen found out, but somehow I know she's also responsible for my missing heart that Will had returned. The missing heart I didn't even realise was gone until it was back with me. "That doesn't matter. Snow – Mary Margaret – you once had darkness in your heart, too, right? How did you get rid of it?"
Snow and Charming side glance at each other, communicating silently with thoughts they didn't want me to know. With a slight sigh and a sad smile Snow turns and reaches for my hand. She feels so warm compared to me.
"Belle, my heart had only a touch of darkness. A small blip, really. While I can never undo my mistakes, and I'll always live with my regrets, it took a lot of love, hope, forgiveness, and patience to heal it." She pats my hand comfortingly. "Gold's heart... I don't think he can come back from that. It's too much. With all those centuries of evil deeds I don't think he has enough time to ever heal it properly."
"Plus Mary Margaret had me," David says in what I would have taken as a direct insult had his voice not been heavy in pity. "When she split her heart for me in the Enchanted Forest I could feel her light and her darkness. I helped her heal just as she helped me."
Snow stands quickly, making the couch bounce slightly underneath me, before embracing her husband. I'm happy for them, I am, but did they have to be so public with their affection and love when I'm here, scared to death about losing my husband?
'Ex-husband, rather,' I mentally correct myself.
"Hold on," I say, standing as well, "You two are sharing a heart?"
Snow holds a hand over her chest at the exact same time Charming does. I guess that's why they always seemed so in sync with each other. They were kind of perfect together.
"Yes," Charming says, "She split her own in order to save me."
"Well, Regina split it," Snow murmurs, pressing a kiss to Charming's jaw, "I wouldn't know the first thing about removing and splicing hearts."
My own heart beats frantically in my chest. Splitting hearts? Surely it couldn't be that easy, could it? Give Rumple half of my heart while I take half of his? Half of my heart would extend his life for centuries. I could heal his side and when it's healed I could give it back. Restore it back to its full potential.
Sweat builds up on my palms and I'm almost shaking with the sudden adrenaline coursing through me. Maybe I should go to the library first to find something that might help me on this. But now that I've got the idea I suddenly just don't have the patience to read up on it first.
'He could be dying right this second,' I think, moments away from sprinting out the door. 'Probably not, but I should still go to him. He'll know whether this is a good idea or not. More than any book or Prince, anyway.'
The Charmings must get an understanding of what I plan to do because they both reach forward at the same time, grasping my arm with my name on their lips.
"Belle, no. It wouldn't work for you," Charming states, "I didn't have any heart. Literally. You and Gold both have yours. He'd have to die first before you could give him half of yours."
Snow nods in agreement. Dropping her eyes she whispers, "You have Will now. Gold knew the consequences of his dark deeds a long time ago. Maybe it's for the best to just let the chips fall as they may."
Wrenching my arm out of her vice-like grip I quickly make my way to the door, opening it but not leaving just yet. "I won't let him die because of what he's had to do as the Dark One. You should both be ashamed; you've killed directly and indirectly, and no-one has given up on you. We don't give up on the people who need our support the most."
I leave as quickly as possible, unwillingly to spend another minute there when I had much larger issues to deal with. It takes a little under five minutes on foot to reach the Pawn Shop which I enter without pause.
Ever since I had learnt of Rumple's reappearance into Storybrooke I'd been nervous to bump into him. Whether he would seek me out, manipulate me, try to ruin my new relationship with Will, or try to win me back. While I didn't admit it to myself, I was even more nervous that he wouldn't. When I found out he had disguised himself as Killian to take his dagger back I had been angry at his manipulation; angry and disappointed.
'It always came back to that stupid dagger and his power.'
But our real first encountered happened in his shop, where he gave me my heart that I didn't know I had lost back, and told me Will would protect it now. I felt something inside me break in that moment and I cried for hours afterward. He always managed to say the perfect thing at the least perfect moment.
"Belle? What are you doing here?"
Rumple's sitting behind the counter, obviously drained of his usual energy. My nervousness comes back in full force under his curious eyes.
"I think I know how to help." I reach the counter and look down at his chest. "You know, with your heart problem?"
He gives a soft laugh, standing to make his way around to me. "If my solution was as simple as visiting a library I would have been cured centuries ago. Though, I am grateful that you thought to look for me. I don't think anyone else would even blink an eye."
He doesn't touch me, instead making his way past me to open the shop's door. The bell chimes prettily above it.
"I really do hate to have to do this, but you must leave. My own attempt at a cure will be arriving momentarily and he's not the sort of character I want you to meet."
The rejection stung and I try not to let the hurt affect me too much. I softly place my hand over his on the door frame, and shut it close. The gasp that he tried to stifle at our contact echos in my ear while I turn the shop's window sign from Open to Closed.
"Just hear me out," I say walking back to the middle of the store. "I think I learnt something from Snow and Charming."
"Whatever it is you should unlearn it. Those two are not the brightest candles on the wax shelf."
I hide my sudden smile behind my hand before composing myself. "Don't be mean. They did have experience in something I don't. Maybe you should hear it?"
"And what would that be?"
"They're sharing a heart, Rumple."
I'm not sure whether this is news to him or not, but the fact that it's coming from my mouth seems to shock him into silence. I can almost see his mind processing this and why I've decided to mention it to him.
"No," he says firmly, walking into his back room without another word. I follow him into it, taking note of the disorganization and clutter of things and boxes. It certainly didn't look like this when I was in charge of the place.
"What do you mean 'no'?" I question. I try to face him but he keeps moving around.
"I mean no," he all but growls, "I know what you're thinking, Belle. And one day it's going to get you killed."
"Well if you don't do something you're going to be killed. A lot sooner than 'one day' as well."
He doesn't say anything back, which I take as being a good sign. If he really wanted to he could magic me out of here to the other side of town where I couldn't disturb him. I almost want him to just so I didn't have to face him; guilt from my actions against him, anger from his actions against me is making just being in his presence a lot harder than it should be.
"Just hear me out," I say, reaching up to take his shoulder and spin him around. "Just let me run my idea by you and see what you think."
"I know what you're thinking, Belle. I know you too well. Even now. That bloody pure heart of yours makes it all too easy to spot a self-sacrifice when I see one." Although his words are soft, and his body language non-threatening, I can hear the harsh tremor in his voice and see the pulsing of his jaw – something he only does when he's mad.
"If it's so easy to know what my plans are then what am I thinking?" I ask hotly. I remember this side to him; this arrogant, know-it-all, holier-than-thou side. While he was usually right, and I did love how he knew exactly what I'd wanted in bed, it's the attitude I couldn't handle.
"Let me see," he starts snidely, "You want to pull a 'Charming' and split our hearts so I can have your light and you can have my dark."
'Damn,' I think bitterly, 'He's right.'
"Well?" he asks with a fake impish grin, "Was I close?"
Shrugging I turn away to hide the red hue I know my cheeks have turned in embarrassment. He sighs from somewhere behind me.
"Belle. Your heart is braver than any hero I've met in my long life. This isn't what you want to do with it. I don't even deserve it – that's why you cast me out, remember? I couldn't protect your heart even when it was safe with you and I wouldn't be able to live happy knowing you were cursed with any part of my mine. It's not something you want to live with forever. Trust me."
"But that's the thing!" I say excitedly, "It won't be forever."
He looks surprised, which fills me with confidence and a little bit of pride. Perhaps I do know something he doesn't. He seems lost, opening and closing his mouth a few times.
"Not forever. So you'd lend me half of yours until I can find the cure to my own and then I'd take my wholly black heart back? Is this your plan?" he asks in confusion. He begins to rub at his chest in frustration.
Blushing, I begin to pick up a few of the items scattered around the backroom. It really is a mess in here and my time spent as a maid made me hyper aware of it. Plus, it helped cool my nerves around the man that's still legally my husband.
"No, I mean it's possible to heal the darkness. You know, with love. Snow said so, she had darkness in hers and she was curing it just fine herself. Then it was split with Charming and his presence was able to get rid of it entirely!" I try to control my blushing, thankful that I'm at least not stuttering. "So, I think with, um, well, Snow said love and patience, I can heal the darkness from it and then return it to you."
"And then what?" he replies coldly, "I give you the heart I was carrying which would probably be further blackened and make you repeat the process all over again? I can't do that, Belle."
The stubbornness of this man would kill me faster than any blackened heart.
"We can try it," I say, trying to not let the desperation I feel show. As much as he's hurt me I've never wished harm to him. I can't lose him when there was something I could do to help. "Please, Rumple. We can just try, just for one day and if it doesn't work you can do whatever it was you were going to do."
"Why are you doing this, Belle?" he asks suddenly with a gasp, as if in pain. Maybe he is. "You kick me out of Storybrooke without ever wanting to see me again. I give you space. I give your heart back, and the wish for you to be happy with whoever it is that makes you happy. Why must you come back here and-"
He falls to his knees sharply, letting out a cry of pain as he hits the floor. One hand is over his chest, the other supporting his form on the ground.
"Rumple?!" I cry out, falling to my knees beside him. Oh, god, I've pushed him too far. This was too much.
He's clutching at his chest, moaning in agony with beads of sweat beginning to form on his brow. I'm trying to not go into a full-blown panic but I know he's dying and I have no idea what to do. There's no doctor in the world that would be able to cure something like this.
"One day?" he gasps out, his head bent so close to the floor that his hair is dragging along it.
"What?" I don't understand. He blindly reaches a hand out to me and I take it in my own.
"We can give it one day and if... if you can't-" He cuts out with a painful groan, "If you can't keep it I'll take it back?"
"Oh," I say quickly, understanding exactly what he means. I feel lightheaded and a little dizzy. I can save him. "Yes, one day. I promise."
Without another word he reaches into his own chest and pulls out his heart. I gasp in horror at the sight of it; it looks like beating coal. Never could I think such a blackened, rotten thing could exist inside of anybody, let alone as their heart. It's only the small flicker of red beating inside it that reassures me not all is lost. Still though, I'm suddenly doubting myself about whether I want half this thing inside of me.
'He'll die otherwise,' I repeat in my head, trying to remember why I'm doing this. 'Be the hero this time. Do the courageous thing.'
"Last chance to back out," he says quietly, in short gasps, coming to sit up straighter on his knees.
I shake my head. I'm not going to back out of this one. "I'm ready."
He takes his time with me, setting his own heart down to the side before gently resting his hands over my chest. His face is full of regret, but I can see the hope that passes over it as well, and it boosts me with more confidence.
"Keep your eyes on me," he says, one hand over my heart, the other turning my face to meet his. I'm studying the patterns of colours in his eyes when I feel it. My heart being ripped out. I can't help the moan of pain that escapes as I lurch forward onto my hands. I feel a soft press of lips against the top of my head.
"Almost over," Rumple says, trying to press me against him in what I think is comfort, but our positioning is too awkward for that. "Almost over."
And it's then I feel another rip, a horrible sensation that is both incredible agony and painless calm at the same time. With a gasp, and a shudder, I fall onto my back, unable to do much of anything. I feel so empty. Nothing makes sense to me anymore and I feel cold but on the inside.
That feeling doesn't last very long, however, as a few moments later I see Rumple hover over me. A clump of red and black split directly down the middle in his pale hand. Is it a heart? Is that my new heart? Whatever it is it's disgusting, and it's coming closer to me until it's hovering over the empty, cold spot of my chest.
Rumple lifts my limp head up with his free hand and I can see the utmost gratitude and love on his face.
"You're so beautiful. I'm sorry," he whispers before pressing the ugly, malformed clump into me. It digs deeper inside, latching onto my soul, nesting it's horrid form in my body.
"Are you okay?" he asks in concern, brushing the damp hair out of my face. I'm not really sure if I'm okay. I feel okay. I don't feel like I'm dying or about to collapse as I assume one would if they had a failing heart.
"I think so," I reply groggily.
"Oh, Belle." He lifts me up into his chest, his arms latching around me, tears almost falling from his eyes. "My darling, brave girl."
"So it's done then?" I ask, feeling warm and yet awkward in his arms. What would Will think if he saw us like this?
"Yes," he says calmly, and I think he's trying not to look too happy for my sake. "I can feel you, Belle. I haven't felt this kind of light in me for many, many centuries. I feel so much. I never realised just how much I had lost to the Dark One; how many emotions, how much..."
His arms wrap tighter around me until I almost can't breathe. It's too much, I should go.
"The things I've done," he continues, I think his tears are happy ones this time. "I'm going to make it up to you. I'm going to make up for all my mistakes. All of them. I promise."
"That's good," I say softly. Not sure of what else I can really do at this point. It's all so much. He might be happy, but I'm not so thrilled. I've never even felt real hatred for someone before and now I'm filled with half the darkness of the Dark One. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.
"I'm going to go lie down," I say, standing to dust myself off. I feel so sore - everywhere hurts. "Can I use this couch?"
"Of course!" Rumple exclaims, magicing a pillow and blanket for me. "Do you want me to go?"
I shake my head, taking my time to lay down on the rather small couch. The things Rumple and I have done on this thing would've made me blush heavily once upon a time.
"No, it's okay. But I'm afraid I won't be very entertaining."
He smiles and takes a seat on the empty part of a cushion. He seems so happy and light, like he just discovered the world wasn't ending and a tomorrow is possible.
'Because that's exactly what happened. I saved him,' I think with a smile. I may not have done many heroic things in my time but who else can say that they've saved the life of the most powerful man in all the lands? Who else would willingly split their heart with darkness to save a soul? I think I'm allowed to be a little arrogant and prideful.
I think I must've fallen asleep because when I open my eyes after what feels like blinking I'm surrounded in blackness, the only light coming from nearby lamps.
"Rumple?" I call out softly. His head pokes around the corner in seconds.
"Belle."
"Was I sleeping?" I ask although the second it leaves my mouth I know it's a stupid question. Of course I was sleeping.
"Almost eight hours now," he replies, "I was getting worried. How do you feel?"
"Fine," I say instantly without thinking. Though when I do think about it I think I feel better than fine. "Great actually."
He looks me over skeptically, as if to physically see whether I'm lying or not. I really wasn't lying though – I feel better than I've felt in a long, long time. Maybe better than I've ever felt in my life. I feel strong, and useful, and independent. I feel powerful.
"I want to keep you here overnight just in case."
"Keep me here overnight? I'm not a lab rat or experiment," I say curtly. "Thanks for letting me sleep here, but I need to go see Will. It's probably later than when we usually meet up and I don't want to worry him."
Rumple fights against a frown, instead curling his lips in displeasure.
"Of course," he says bluntly, "Wouldn't want to worry Wee Will now would we?"
Is he actually jealous? Right after saving his life he's going to pull this act on me? With a disbelieving scoff I make my way to the front door. It's really dark out. I don't think I'd actually be meeting up with Will for any dinner date tonight.
"Wait."
I turn to face my husband once more, noting the slight guilt on his face. He runs a hand through his greying hair.
"I can't make you stay tonight, but will you please come over tomorrow morning to make sure everything's running as they should be? If not for yourself, then for my peace of mind?"
"Yeah," I nod curtly, "I'll come around tomorrow morning. Promise."
I keep that promise for the next three weeks, seeing Rumple every morning at 8 A.M. sharp where he was always ready for me. The first morning after we split our hearts he was very paranoid; checking me over thoroughly with every spell he had at his disposal. Eventually, as time went on and there were still no signs that I was going to die suddenly or lose my mind from having half of his heart, he eased up on his checks to the point where I continued to meet up with him simply to see him.
"Good morning!" I exclaim brightly, walking into his shop like usual. He's putting away a new artifact into the glass cabinet. "I brought breakfast."
"I had breakfast two hours ago," he says with a smile, "But I could always do with brunch."
I loved this easy, casual flow of energy we had between us now. Thinking back, I'm not sure we even had this kind of chemistry when we were together. Since we split our hearts I could feel this strange pull connecting me to Rumple in an intimate, personal way. It certainly makes things between Will and I seem that much duller.
"Brunch it is."
I set the croissants in between us, careful not to get any crumbs on the clean glass. I begin munching away at one, waiting for the inevitable flood of questions.
"So, how are you feeling?"
There's the first question of many. Some days it makes me feel like I'm in a psychiatrist's office – or what I imagined psychiatrist's office would be.
"Great."
Silence settles between us while I finish my croissant with a frown. "That's it?"
"Is there anything else I should ask?" He questions, one eyebrow up in curiosity. How did he look so darn attractive all the time? Everything he did nowadays seemed to just set a fire in my stomach.
"No," I say with a blush. I don't deny I enjoyed his attentiveness when it came to my heart and wellbeing. "Just strange you stopped asking after three weeks of having so many questions."
"I thought it was annoying you."
Damn me and my exaggerations. I'd always sighed, or rolled my eyes at his endless prodding, but I didn't want them to stop. If we stop meeting up in the mornings for a faux check-up I'm scared we'll stop talking entirely. As much as it pains me to think, I may have made a mistake in sending him away in the first place. I'm starting to enjoy myself and I don't want to be without him for too long. Not when he's like this: attentive and caring.
'My side of the heart has done wonders for him,' I think arrogantly. Arrogance is a new trait to me that I'm fairly sure has been a gift from Rumplestiltskin.
"It was all right," I murmur with embarrassment. I think Rumple can see right through me though because his smirk lights up his whole face.
"Then I shall continue."
I duck my head away to hide my smile, savouring the sensation of the pull from my heart. Surprisingly I don't feel any guilt from the way I've been acting and feeling towards my husband. He is my husband after all, and no matter how many times Will expresses his concern for the way I interact with Rumple it's not going to stop me from seeing him.
We're interrupted by the bells chiming, signalling a customer. Quickly taking the remaining croissants off the cabinet I wipe it down with the sleeve of my jacket.
"Crocodile." It's Killian, striding towards us with purpose. "Belle."
I can't stand how the man says Crocodile with such derision. Such a horrible dig at the appearance of the old Rumplestiltskin. Perhaps if he loses his tongue to balance out his hand...
"I'll let you two talk," I say, heading out early before I lose my temper. Rumple can handle himself just fine.
I'm heading down the street on my way to the library when I hear my name being called multiple times. I know that voice and I quicken my steps to avoid him – I didn't want to deal with him and his accusations right now.
"Belle, hey!" He grabs my arm and turns me around. If I wasn't such a fan of heels I could've easily outpaced him.
"Hi, Will," I try to inject some surprise into my voice. It's not convincing at all. "What are you doing out here?"
"Just goin' to see if I could catch ya before you left Gold's. Thought we might have a bite at Granny's."
"Oh," I say in what I hope sounds like regret, "Sorry, Will. I just finished eating with Rumple so I'm not terribly hungry. Maybe we could have dinner."
"Rumple is it? Well, it doesn't have to be food. I was thinkin' we could just do something today."
He is so persistent and clingy. How did I ever put up with someone like him? Was I so insecure, and lonely after leaving Rumple that I couldn't do any better than Will for a rebound? It's borderline pathetic.
"I don't really feel like it today, Will. Sorry."
"So you can spend every morning with that crippled, old man but not have any time for me?"
I slap him hard across the face, relishing the way his head snaps back and how quickly the blood rushes to his cheek. It must've been harder than I thought as his lip - that he instantly covers with a hand - is split open. I'm almost as shocked as he is.
"Will... I'm-"
"You can bloody well sod off then," he stammers out in shock rather than anger. "It's one thing to deal with your ex-husband, but to hit me? I'm not gonna take that from anyone. Especially not from you."
He wipes the blood from his lip away, his face darkening in disgust.
"I thought you were different, but now I see why you married who you did. Well I hope you two have a bloody good time together because this thing between us," he gestures between our bodies, "it's over."
As he jogs away from me I want to feel something other than relief and happiness. I want to feel guilt, remorse, or sadness over my actions and the end of my third ever relationship but I don't. They don't come to me naturally any more. Those feelings haven't come to me in a long time.
I decide not to head to the library after all, instead going back to the Pawn Shop. Overall I feel freer there; it's an atmosphere that calls to me, where I can be myself and breathe easy.
Killian's gone by the time I arrive and I skip the pleasantries.
"So, what'd he want?"
"Killian?" Rumple asks rhetorically, "Nothing important. What brings you back here?"
I shrug, waiting for any tears to show but they don't. "Will broke up with me outside. I don't have anywhere to go, really. Is it okay if I stay for the day?"
If he's happy to hear about the news of my break up he didn't show it, instead frowning in an almost sympathetic way.
"I'm sorry to hear that," he says, making me frown in turn. Is he really? I wouldn't have been if I were him. "I know he made you happy."
"Not really," I state, trying to not roll my eyes at him. Will might have made me happy once, but that seemed like a lifetime ago. "We were much too different. He wouldn't stop talking about some woman named Anastasia and how they were so in love but he lost her to darkness so he knew how I felt."
I scoffed remembering all our conversations about her and Rumple – I absolutely hated how he wouldn't stop comparing the two of them, and then comparing our relationships. I wanted to wring his little neck at his stupidity.
"But it doesn't matter," I continue without pause, "so is it okay if I stay for the day?"
"Stay as long as you like," he says in a way that makes my heart flutter. I think I'm going to take him up on that offer.
And I do. I stay for the night, and the night after that. My visits become longer and more frequent, which is a good thing since the rest of the residents of Storybrooke are seeming to distance themselves from me for some reason. Perhaps it's that I've become a lot more quick to anger now, snapping at them for saying something stupid, or joking that they needed to visit my library more often to become less dim-witted.
At first they laughed along with me, able to take a joke at their own expense, but as time went on no-one could handle my brashness anymore. Rumplestiltskin could, but with this pull I have towards him I never feel anger and bitterness around him. I'm not angry, or spiteful. I don't make cruel jokes or taunts. It's like I'm my old self so he's never seen the side to me the others do. Maybe it's my heart finding its other half that calms me – I'm not sure.
There was a time I was worried Snow or Charming might say something to Rumple about my behaviour. While I know I'm fine, my newfound confidence, arrogance, and self-assuredness – all great traits – has obviously upset some people. Should the Charmings put two and two together, and realise I'd stopped becoming a doormat after talking to them about splitting hearts, they might have gone to Rumplestiltskin to warn him about it. Of course, any sign of trouble and Rumple would've taken his black heart back in an instant. Thankfully that never happened.
'They're too self involved to ever think about anyone outside their own precious family,' I think bitterly. After all my work helping them, countless hours in the library pouring over books for them, and they don't think of me for a second. 'I barely get a thank you from them after babysitting their little Neal for free. I still can't believe they named him Neal'.
I try to stop thinking about the Charmings. I try to stop thinking at all.
Two months go by after my breakup with Will, and I've taken over a lot of the duties in the Pawn Shop. I love working here now; things that used to frighten me now excite me. Artifacts I couldn't touch without shivering in fear now make me shiver in pleasure. It's a whole new place to explore and I relish every second in here.
The kisses I've been getting from Rumple each morning doesn't hurt either. Our relationship has progressed more than I could've imagined in the past few months, and I now proudly wear my wedding band on my ring finger again.
He's changed so much it's almost unbelievable. There's a calmness around him, a gentle sensitivity I'd never seen in him. He really did keep his promise about making up for all of his mistakes. He really did. He's a new man, and I a new woman. We'd never fit so perfectly together before.
I'm in the middle of cleaning the floors when I hear someone enter. Looking up I see it's the Evil Queen, dressed in her modern attire.
"Can I help you?" I all but snarl at her. I hate this woman; loathe her with every fibre of my being. I didn't actually want to help her at all.
"Not you, no," she says haughtily, "But I do need to see your husband. Is Gold around?"
"No." I'm short with her but I don't need to make conversation or tell her Rumple is out getting us lunch. It's none of her business.
"Well, maybe you can help me, then. I'm looking for the dagger of Ebzha. Do you have it?"
We do, it's hidden on the shelf next to me actually, but I'm not about to just hand it over to her. "What do you need it for and how much do you have to pay for it?"
She looks shocked that I would think of demanding some kind of payment from her. My husband has been very lenient when it comes to giving away trinkets on loan. I'm going to have to fix that up as well later.
"That's really none of your business and you can tell Gold I'll repay him with a favour."
"I don't think so. There's nothing from you he could possibly want. It's not like you can give him your first born," I remark coldly, "Maybe you can bargain with Zelena's instead. She's the rapist carrying your True Love's child after all. I'm sure you have some claim to it."
I know my comment is too far the second it's out of my mouth. Regina's face twists with fury, her power sweeping over me in waves. I'm not scared of her, though. I was done being frightened of this witch.
"You bitch!" the Queen screams at me, her hand coming up to conjure a large fireball. Aiming it at my body she lets it fly and I don't move. Instead I step forward to shorten its path. The protective shield Rumple's placed on me and his shop instantly absorb the magic before it can touch me, leaving goosebumps along my arm from his power.
'She just tried to kill me!'
She's manipulated me, almost ruined my relationship, held me hostage in her tower, kept me locked in an insane asylum where I had to eat gruel off a tray and sleep with rats for almost thirty years and now she has the fucking nerve to blatantly try to kill me over a mere quip?!
I can't see through the haze of fury and darkness that's suddenly filling me. It's so heavy it actually hurts to breathe. It's curling itself around my heart, squeezing, taking my breath and sanity with it. Before I know what I'm doing I'm lunging for the dagger of Ebzah on the shelf nearby and I hurl it as hard as I can at the Evil Queen. My mark hits true, the dagger burying itself deep into her shoulder.
She lets out a shriek of pain that I take way too much pleasure in and collapses to the ground, instinctively trying to stop the flow of blood seeping out around the entry point of the steel. I'm on top of her in seconds, using the dagger as a hold to flatten her onto her back.
I've never felt so powerful than I do right now. The Evil Queen under me, her blood running over my hands as I grip the item in her shoulder. I yank it out quickly, knowing it will hurt worse this way, and that the dagger was stopping her from bleeding out.
'Yes, I think this is how I want it to end.'
"I think you owe me an apology," I taunt, dragging the bloody knife gently against her neck. My eyes follow the crimson line with unadulterated glee. "You know, for the decades of pain and hurt you've given me? I think I'm being rather merciful here."
She's trying to use her magic to protect herself but it's no good here. It's no good against me. My husband is much, much more powerful than she'll ever be.
I'm still dragging the dagger along her throat, making patterns with the blood when my heart begins thumping erratically.
'This is wrong!' a part of me screams inside. I can't stop my hands though. I can't stop. I don't want to.
'You can't do this. You'll end up worse than her.'
I need to stop, I can't be like her, I can't do this. 'You need to stop!'
Tears are beginning to pour from my eyes as I cut into Regina's neck. No, no!
The chiming of bells drag me out of my haze and I look up to see the horror on Rumple's face. He drops the bags from Granny's and sprints to my side.
"Oh, my god, Belle..."
"Rumple!" I cry out, "Stop me!"
He quickly freezes me with magic and moves me away to the side to inspect the wound on the Queen's shoulder and neck. With the grace and skill of a professional he's healed her wound, leaving her bare of any harm.
Not a second after he's finished the Queen's up and sprinting out the door, where I see her purple cloud of magic take her away in a flash. Rumple instantly pulls me into him before holding me out at arms length.
"I can't," I begin weakly, "I've never felt this... it's too much, Rumple. I thought I could handle it alone but I've never felt this. I didn't know. I didn't know what it felt like."
Staring me deep in my eyes his own widen in shock and horror before he shakes his head.
"No. No, no, no..."
Still muttering he grips the back of my head gently in one hand before plunging the other one deep into my chest. He's trying to pull something out but he's taking too long – it's too hard. With another heavy, painful yank he pulls what he was looking for out of my chest and I collapse against him in agony. The thing he's holding in his hand is almost three-quarters black. It's disgusting.
I see him reach into his own chest and without so much as a gasp pull out a beautiful, bright red pulsing heart. He quickly pushes the beautiful thing straight into me without a second pause.
Everything's rushing back. All the emotions I'd forgotten to feel. Sympathy, guilt, remorse, sadness, empathy. The darkness is gone from me and for what feels like the first time I could really, truly breathe again.
I see him push the black thing into his own body and I begin to bawl against him, unable to stop myself. Crying and blubbering like a newborn baby in very open domain of his shop. He begins rocking me gently back and forth, hands over my face to wipe my tears but I can't stop them. It feels like I'll never stop crying.
"Belle..." his voice is choked up with emotion. "My darling..."
"Rumple," I try to say between sobs, "I tried. I really... really tried. I thought it would be easy but I ruined it."
He shushes me, laying my head against his chest.
"No," he whispers, "I almost ruined you. You've always been a pure beacon of light. You've never known what true darkness would feel like – how easily that sort of power can corrupt. I let my darkness taint you for months, and I almost killed you. I'm so sorry, Belle. I'm so sorry."
I feel the drops of water hit my head, and I look up from my position on his chest. He's crying openly, too, still rocking me on the dirty floor of his shop.
"How did you?" I try to begin, "How... Your heart was so pure and bright. I can feel it inside me. I can feel you. It's... it's so good."
He stops rocking us to pull my hair back. "I didn't know what it looked like, all I knew was I needed to get better for you. Everything I did since you gave me your heart was for you, for us. Without your support and love, I don't think I could've healed it."
I feel so ashamed of myself. I thought I was heroic, that I could've easily healed the darkness in his heart and then given it back to him before starting the process all over again. In the end, he's the one that's healed himself and in turn, healed me. My sobs begin fresh again, only increasing in strength when I think of all the people I've wronged over the last few months.
"You're okay now," Rumple tries to soothe me, "You're okay. I won't let anything happen to you again."
"But, we're back to square one," I sniffle. "Your heart..."
"My heart was pure black when you gave me half of yours. It was because of that decision I was able to feel things I've long forgotten, I was able to heal with the love I felt from you. Now, I have half a heart of good, and I'll live a long, long time with it. Longer if you stop crying – because I really think my heart breaks all over again when I see you cry."
I try to laugh at his corniness, especially since he's being hypocritical; his own tears are drying on his face. But I can't laugh.
"The things I've done..."
He tightens his grip on me. "We can deal with anybody if they have a problem with you. And the things you've done, with that much darkness in your heart, is nothing. I promise you. I should have known something like that was going to happen. The first night I was the Dark One I had killed many people. Just on a whim."
My sobs begin to ebb, instead being replaced with slight hiccups from the hysteria I'd just experienced.
"I'll never take the good you do lightly, or for granted again," I say solemnly, looking into his concerned eyes. "Not after what I've felt. Not now that I know how hard it is to be good when the odds are stacked against you."
He rests his forehead against mine with a sigh. "You shouldn't have to settle for that, Belle. You're worth so much more."
"I don't know what I'm worth," I reply, "But I won't let you go through that kind of darkness again by yourself. You mean too much to me." He kisses me with such tenderness I think I might just melt.
"I love you, Mrs. Gold."
"And I you, Mr. Gold."
Picking me up bridal style he carries me into the back room where we have a little more privacy to talk. And we need to talk, a lot. There's so much I'm worried about. Where to go from here, how to make peace with the residents of Storybrooke, whether Rumple has the energy to cure his heart for a second time. I do know though, no matter what, we'd be okay as long as we had each other.
"Hey," I whisper when he lays me down onto the couch, "I just realised, now I've got a heart of Gold."
With a small laugh he settles down next to me.
"You always had."
Hope you enjoyed!