Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters are taken from Meg Cabot.

This is my first fanfic so I guess it won't be that wonderful but at least I tried to entertain my readers. Oh and English is not my native language so I apologise for spelling mistakes or possible non-sense or even just strange formulation.

I am not sure yet about how to use the web-site, I just hope I'll succeed to upload my story.

PG-13 just in case.

My life is over! And strangely enough it is not because:

- My real name is Amelia Mignonette Grimaldi Thermopolis Renaldo.

- I am the crown princess of Genovia, a very small country close to Monaco.

- Because of that, I have to take princess lessons every evening (sometimes even on Weekends) with Grandmère

-Said Grandmère is a dictator. I am still wondering how people could find her charming... hum actually nobody finds her charming! They just pretend to. If I were as cruel as she is, I would organise a revolution for the cheer pleasure of seeing her head removed from her body. It's not possible however because I am against violence and death penalty, besides that would mean my dad, whom I love, would be in danger himself and, wait a minute, I would be too!

- My mother is married to Mr G. my algebra teacher and they are expecting a baby.

- I DON'T love my boyfriend Kenny. I am such a monster really. This guy is so sweet and all and I like him a lot but I can't love him.

- Because I'm in love with Michael Moscovitz, my best friend's older brother. And the thing is that he will never NEVER love me back. As a matter of fact it is a miracle he is not (yet) repulsed by me.

- My best friend Lilly is both a genius and a lunatic! Don't take me wrong, I love her but sometimes she goes too far. And I am a bit tired of being treated as if I was a mentally retarded person! Sure I am not and will never be as intelligent as Lilly or any of the Moscovitzes for that matter. But that doesn't mean I am a piece of shit!

- Lilly will kill me if she ever gets to know that I like... no LOVE her older brother.

- I will never be able to work for Greenpeace because Grandmère says it's not fit for a princess.

- I am going to flunk Algebra (You would think that Mr G. would do something for me considering our family situation but no! Ok he might agree to give me extra Algebra classes at home, but if he does so, I go live with Tina. Besides I already have the cutest Algebra teacher ever: Michael Moscovitz. I could never give up on that! Please, let Mr G. be too busy with my newly mood-swinging mom to even think about giving me classes at home!)

Last but not least: I have no breasts.

No, my life is over because of a conversation I have had with mom and Mr G earlier this evening. I was coming back from princess lessons so I was quite tired and rather in a bad mood. Grandmère had had a new stupid idea: She wants me to take ballet-dancing classes because it would do me some good. I might be able to stand in a royal or at least noble and dignified way after that. No way! I mean I admire ballet dancers but I think it's too late for me and I don't have time for it. Of course I said it to Grandmère and then a brilliant idea crossed my mind. Grandmère, I said, I would really love to do ballet dancing but the only free time I have I spend it with you for princess lessons. I am however ready to sacrifice myself and go to ballet classes instead!

"Don't be stupid Amelia," she answered. "You cannot do without princess lessons, you're far too clumsy and ungifted!" (No need to say I was really hurt! Why don't I have a nice grand-mother who bakes cakes, speaks of cats and finds you so wonderful that she speaks about you to all her neighbours? Why do I have to be stuck with a grandmother who is cruel and has had her eyeliner tattooed). "No you'd rather give up Algebra (She suddenly got all my attention. Was she able to scare my father so badly that he would interfere at school so that I would drop Algebra for ever???), haven't you said many times that you're being tutored by a certain Michel during your private time? You absolutely don't need these extra-classes! You then would have enough time for ballet classes, wouldn't you?

My jaw dropped and for a moment I thought I might puke on Rommel who was standing at my feet... That was it, my life had reached its anticlimax, I was in Hell and Grandmère was Satan. I didn't know yet that it could become even worse.

"Grandmère," I screamed! "I won't give up Algebra! I really need this extra tutoring! Besides it's not Michel, it's Michael! He is American!!! Remember this is America, this is not Genovia!"

Thankfully dad came in at that moment: "Mia doesn't need ballet classes but she needs to study Algebra. Mia, you can go home. Your grand-mother and I need to have a serious discussion"

So I came back home, rather anxious (It's Grandmère we are speaking about! She would do anything to torture me!) and I found Mom and Mr G. waiting for me. They both looked very serious. Something was wrong. God, do I ever get a break?!

"Is the baby alright?" I asked worried. Mom looked puzzled, she unintentionally put her hand on her belly and said "yes, of course! What makes you think it could be wrong?"

"Well you both look like you have swallowed a sock!" Oh my God, something happened to Fat Louie! I told you not to let the window opened I cried!" and I ran into my room under Mr G. and mom's flabbergasted glances. But Fat Louie was sleeping on my bed... I hugged him like crazy and he didn't like it as far as I can tell, since my face is now full of scratches.

I came back into the living room slowly. "Oh, so nothing happened to Fat Louie! What's the matter then? Why do you both look like you have some very bad news?"

"Well, mom started, we have some news for you but they are not that bad. It's huh... it's huh... Frank! Tell her!"

"Mia, I have a daughter! She is 14, just like you and..."

"You have a daughter!? How come you never told us? Mom, can you believe he lied to you all that time?"

"Well, darling,... I knew"

"Oh.... YOU knew! And you didn't tell me! Why didn't you bother to tell me! And where is that daughter! How come she wasn't there for Thanksgiving? Is that some kind of a sick joke? It's not funny, you know. Now can I go to bed?"

"No, wait! I have a daughter. It's not a joke. Until now she lived with her mother and her stepfather. Her mother is... how should I say... not very nice... she has lots in common with uh your grandmother Clarisse. So she refuses frequently to let my daughter come with me for family celebrations. Sadly enough my daughter seems not to be too keen on seeing me either. But anyhow I see her everyday at school and now she's going to spend a month here with us because her mother and stepfather are touring in Europe. So maybe you will have to share your room for a while"

"Sh.. share my room? No way! I need some privacy sometimes; can you understand that? Mom, you can't do that to me! I mean, Frank, it's alright that you have a daughter and I don't mind her staying with us for a month but I can't share my room!"

"Mia is right Frank. Your daughter can sleep in the baby's room. The baby won't be here before a few months and I can wait until your daughter is gone before I finish painting it"

"Did you say you see your daughter everyday at school? I wonder who she is.... How come nobody knows you have a daughter at school? I hope we will go along though I think there won't be any problem as far as she is not Lana Weinberger!"

Mr G. turned blue. I hurried to apologise, as I was just joking. I mean I totally understood how such a sentence could have shocked him that much. It's like saying: I hope your daughter is not slut or something... but the more I apologised the more he looked like he was about to choke. I looked at him worriedly and then at mom. That's when it striked me! I mean mom was pretending to be cooking and mom never cooks! "Lana is your daughter! Lana is your daughter?! This can't be true. I have fallen asleep, yes I know I am asleep. I will wake up any minute from this utterly disgusting nightmare!"

Mr G just nodded. Really I think he couldn't tell much more… and he might have vomited if he opened his mouth. Who would like to confess that Lana is their daughter? He already has to live with this thought everyday but it must be even worse when he has to face the reality in front of other people. At that moment I felt so much pity for him. But then I remembered Lana would soon be living with us!

"Holy crap! When is she coming?"

"In a week time..."

I ran to my room where I locked myself. I have only been crying and writing since. Right now mom's speaking to me from the other side of the door. She has to shout to be sure that I hear her. She says Lana can't be as bad as I think. And that she is sure we will eventually get along. I'm sure she doesn't herself believe it but says it just because it's her moral duty as a parent. After all even Mr G. kind of recognised that she is a monster and it's his own daughter we're speaking about. What am I going to do?

I wonder if Lana could harm Fat Louie in any way while she is here. She's such a cruel girl, I think she would be perfect in the role of Cruella. She just would kill cats instead of dogs and make a coat out of their skin. Poor Fat Louie, I can't let anything happen to him. I love him even more than I love Michael...

I have to speak to Lilly. Only... I can't go out of the room and face mom and Mr G. now. Lilly would certainly blame me for it, because as she puts it, I'm not assertive enough... Oh, I know I will go on the net to see if she or Tina are online.

Oh my god! Michael has just I.M.ed me.

Crackhead: Hey Thermopolis, how is it going?

Hmmm Should I tell him what's going on? Maybe I will repulse him now that I will have to share my home with Lana. I mean, it's like being contaminated...

FtLouie: Not very well, I have a new "sister" and I think I need to move away.

Crackhead: Have you been taking codeine again? You're mother's baby is not due before some months. Or do you mean that it is born already? And why move away? I thought you were pretty happy about the idea of having a little sister or a little brother.

FtLouie: Oh I'm not speaking about that sibling. I am speaking about my new sister: Lana Weinberger!

Crackhead: ????

FtLouie: Yes, you read well! Lana Weinberger is my newly found sister! My life is O.V.E.R! I am seriously considering suicide!

Crackhead: Please don't! I would be sad if you did! But can you be clearer? Why would Lana be your sister?

Wait! Did he really say what I think he said? Does that mean he cares about me? Maybe he likes me… No, don't be silly Mia (duh I speak like Grandmère now! She's always saying that to me, obviously it ha some really bad influence on me. Maybe I could have the Mocovitzes speak to my father and point out how Grandmère's influence is dangerous and how I will only gain a bad self-esteem –besides being unassertive and lacking self-realisation- if I keep going to princess lessons.

No, of course, Michael would be sad if I died because I'm his little sister's best friend and when Lilly is with me she's not buzzing around him. There is no way he could like a freak like me. A freshman with no breasts and no genius. Sigh.

FtLouie: It turns out that Lana's mother and Mr G. have had an affair a very long time ago. But obviously she decided that Mr G. was not rich and famous enough for her. They had just had the baby when she met Lana's stepfather (as she was having some aesthetic surgery to look thinner after the pregnancy). She then moved away with the baby. Because Mr G. is only a teacher (be it in a private school) and earns much less than mister aesthetic surgeon, he only got visiting rights.

Crackhead: You must be kidding! Is this the 1st of April or what?

FtLouie: I wish!

Michael must have been shocked because he didn't answer for some time. Or maybe he was just too busy laughing at the idea that the worse freak of the school was somehow connected to the most popular bitch of the same school. Which I totally understand. I would give it a good laugh too, if the situation were not so tragic!

Crackhead: Hey but you know, that doesn't really make her your sister so you don't have to speak to her! Or try to become friend with her. (Isn't that a shocking idea?)

FtLouie: Except she's going to live with us for some time!!!!!!!!!!!

Crackhead: Please don't shout! I know it's hard but it's not my fault! And you're welcome home whenever you want so you don't have to be with her all the time (just don't bring her over, ok).

Listen I have to go now. See you tomorrow at school!

Crackead went offline.

Wow, he invited me to his place! Ok I know I go there very very often but it has always been Lilly who invited me. So it's really nice that Michael invited me this time. If he doen't care about me, at leat he is not yet disgusted. Maybe there's some good is that Lana thing. NOT.