Title: La grande bouche
Characters/Pairing: Team, Jack/Ianto
Word Count: 300
Rating: PG-15/T for sex talk
Summary: Accidents will happen when Jack and Ianto are together.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Torchwood characters, I'm only borrowing them, and I promise to return them in minty fresh condition when I'm finished.
A/N: This is probably why I shouldn't give in to ideas that I get after midnight. Enjoy!

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"All the filthy stuff you two get up to, something like this was bound to happen sooner or later," said Owen, snapping off his gloves as he left the autopsy area and his patient behind.

Gwen and Tosh, who had arrived in the Hub mid consult, exchanged puzzled glances.

"You see ladies," said Owen, noticing his new audience. "This is why fellatio should always be entered into with caution, no pun intended. Especially when certain folks are a little too well endowed for their own good, and certain other folks end up spraining their jaws as a result."

"Oh my God," said Gwen. "Poor Ianto, is he in a lot of pain?"

Owen snorted with laughter, "You could say that, yeah. Cause having somebody's jaw seize up while it's locked around your manhood is sooo not good for the psyche!"

Gwen and Tosh looked at each other again before Tosh spoke up, "You mean it was Jack who..."
"And Ianto is..." Gwen made a gesture with her hands.

"Well it was more like this by the time I got called in," said Owen, adding his own smaller gesture to the mix. "And Jack was all..." He opened his mouth in a wide grimace, "So lets just say I can read between the lines."

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Down below in the autopsy area, within hearing range of the entire conversation, Ianto glared at Jack. "That's it. The next time we need a cover story, *I* am going to be the one coming up with it."

Jack manipulated his still tender jaw experimentally. "Oh come on Ianto, think of my reputation. If Owen found out I'd sprained my jaw while trying to fit an entire bag of marshmallows in my mouth, I'd never hear the end of it."

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The End