Sari and Sonic

Author Note/Disclaimer: Here I am again with another parody I might never finish… *SIGH*… Why do I keep putting myself through this? Well, I don't own anything you see here, so don't sue.

I know this has been done before many times, I'm only doing this for fun. And any similarities to anything anyone else has done is either a coincidence, or unintentional. (Wait, is that redundant?) Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

That being said, enjoy.

Prologue: Trial of the Millennia

Not that long ago, in a galaxy very, very far away, lay the planet of Acmetropolis, a bustling city planet. And at it's very center was a huge domed building. This was where the Grand Council was meeting for what was considered by many to be the "Trial of the Millennia".

A hush fell over the crowd as the leader of the council arrived. She was a beautiful woman, with long blond hair and an almost otherworldly appearance. Her name was Zadavia, and right now, they were in the middle of a trial for a very heinous crime.

She turned to the being standing next to her, a brawny, muscular creature with slimy green skin and tentacles hanging down his face. He was holding a laser clipboard with data imprinted on it and looking like he'd rather not be here at the moment.

"And what are the charges?" Zadavia asked , her musical-sounding voice echoing across the air.

From below a platform appeared, bringing with it the prisoner, who seemed to be a young man with pale skin, a shock of red hair with goggles pushed up on it wearing a black leather trench coat along with matching boots and fingerless gloves. Judging by the look on his face, it seemed that he'd rather not be here either.

"Doctor Jack Spicer," Vilgax read in a voice sounding like nails on a chalkboard, "You are the head scientist of the Galactic Alliance, and stand accused of creating illegal life forms for your own personal gain."

At the mention of this, the crowd started murmuring amongst themselves, even as a large sheathed capsule rose beside him.

"How do you plead?" Zadavia asked the disgraced doctor.

"Not guilty!" the young man answered confidently. "My experiments are only theoretical and therefore within legal boundaries."

"Is that so? Well, we have reason to believe that you…created…something."

"Hah!" Jack protested, even as the capsule began to open. "That would be both morally and legally wrong! I would never, ever…"

He fell silent when the capsule completely opened to reveal it's contents. Inside was a hulking creature resembling a blue-furred wolf-hedgehog cross, with four brawny arms and sharp quills/spines running down its back wearing a red-orange jumpsuit. It snarled and beat upon the glass, causing the crowd to cringe in fear and disgust.

"…Purposely make more than one."

"What is that thing?" Questioned Vilgax, leaning forward to examine it.

"Thing? This so-called thing is my greatest creation to date!" Jack boasted proudly, completely forgetting his 'not guilty' protest earlier.

"This is experiment S-626, the first of a brand new species! He is bulletproof, fireproof, can think faster than a computer, see in the dark, lift things 3000 times his size, and his limbs can stretch to incredible lengths to reach far-off targets! His goal is simple: destroy anything he can get his paws on!" Jack punctuated this statement with a raucous burst of insane laughter.

"In other words, a monster." Zadavia finished.

At this, Jack stopped laughing and looked annoyed. "Hey, only a little one…"

Vilgax stepped forward, eyes narrowed. "This thing is an abomination and must be destroyed!"

But Zadavia put one hand out in front of Vilgax, saying, "Captain Vilgax, please calm down. Unlike you, I am a patient woman, and believe we should try to reason with it first." Turning towards the creature, she spoke softly, "Experiment S-626, if you can understand us, please show us now that there is good in you."

S-626 stopped his growling and stopped to clear his throat. Everyone leaned forward in anticipation to hear the creature's words, wondering what they would be.

The creature took a deep breath and exclaimed, "Meega nala KWEESTA!"

This resulted in shocked gasps from the crowd, along with sporadic cases of vomiting or fainting.

(There is no point in translating those words, as they would have to be censored in any medium. Let's just say that it's the galactic equivalent to Earth's 'F-you', and leave it at that.)

As 2-626 started laughing, Jack protested, "Hey, I didn't teach him that! I don't even know where he picked that up!"

"Enough!" Growled Vilgax, "Place that idiot scientist under arrest!"

"I prefer the term 'evil genius'!" Jack shouted as he was lead away, but no one paid him any mind

"I suppose I was wrong after all." Said Zardavia, with a hint of sadness in her voice. "That creature is too dangerous to even be around civilization and must be taken care of." Normally, Zadavia was nice to all beings, but in this case, she had no choice but to have S-626 destroyed. "Vilgax, take care of this…thing."

"With pleasure." Vilgax smirked behind his face tentacles in anticipation.

To be continued...

So, what do you think so far? If you haven't guessed by now (though it should be obvious), S-262 (Sonic)'s alien form design comes (mainly) from the game Sonic Unleashed. Next time: S-626 escapes from imprisonment, forcing an unlikely pair to go after him. Comments and (helpful) criticism are appreciated.