I have made a terrible decision and rewatched the first three seasons of Grey's Anatomy. And the worst part is I ship Addison and Alex just as badly as I always have. So I wrote this.
It had been a long week. Her brother had almost died and she had prayed. Addison Forbes Montgomery did not pray, but she had this time. She had prayed and then she had watched her ex-husband, the man who had just saved her brother, she watched as he spiraled into guilt and rage. She yelled at him, he yelled at her. She sent Karev for the Chief before he completely lost it. It was too much.
And that was why, only a few hours before she was going to get on a plane and fly back to Los Angeles and the mess that was her life now, she was sitting at Joe's with vodka in hand.
She could feel people watching her as she sat but no one had approached her, intimidated by the exhaustion that she knew must read in her shoulders. That was probably for the best. She wasn't feeling like great company at the moment. Her brother was alive and so was the baby but Derek was crumbling and the mother was dead. It wasn't easy to be entirely happy. Even Joe was staying away tonight.
"This seat taken?"
She looked up from her drink and there was Alex Karev. Bearded now, and looking so much more mature. Or maybe that was world-weary. Gesturing with one hand, she sighed. "Be my guest, Karev."
He sat and Joe brought a beer for him. As they sat in silence, she wondered how they had gone from the operating room to here. In the OR, they were flawless; he anticipated her needs in a way that made it seem that he was reading her mind. They worked well together. And now they weren't even looking at each other.
The vodka burned her throat as it went down and she nodded. That seemed about par for the course this week.
"You cut your hair." His voice was gravelly and quiet. She almost didn't hear him speak.
"What?"
"Your hair. It's shorter."
Her brow furrowed and she tucked her hair behind her ear. She wasn't sure where this was going. Alex Karev was hardly the type to discuss style choices. "Uh, yeah. I did."
"It looks good. Your hair, I mean. It looks good on you. You look good." He looked at her long enough to pay her the compliment and then took a swig of his beer.
Addison smiled, a close-lipped, tight smile that seemed to be the only kind she could muster these days. "Thank, Karev. You're lying, but I appreciate it."
He scoffed, that beer seemingly permanently attached to his lips. Lips that, once upon a time, she had kissed. He was younger then. So was she. Things had changed now. He had a beard and her hair was shorter. "I don't lie," he said.
She nodded and sipped her drink. With one eyebrow raised, she turned her gaze to him. "No, that's the one problem I never had with you," she replied. "You were always honest. Painfully so."
"Not always," he admitted and signaled for another beer. It was a cryptic response and Addison knew that, if she truly wanted to, she could probably engage him in some sort of conversation about when she left Seattle for good. But it was too exhausting. So she didn't.
Putting her elbows on the bar, she massaged her temples and closed her eyes. "My brother almost died," she said. "He had worms in his brain." A puff of air escaped her lungs through her nose.
She could feel his gaze on her, though she kept her eyes closed. "Ava wasn't pregnant. The last time you were here. Rebecca. She wasn't really pregnant," he said. That got her to look up. They really hadn't had a personal conversation in years.
Addison blinked. She wasn't sure why he was sharing this with her. "And that was… good."
"You were wrong. Back then. I didn't want her. Not like that."
Addison nodded. She placed her chin in her hand and looked at him again. This was a familiar scene, one that brought back all too many memories of on call rooms and supply closets and amnesiac patients. Things she was moving on from.
"I don't play catch."
"Okay."
He didn't respond, choosing instead to look down at the bottle in his hands. Addison's traitorous hands wanted to stroke his face as they had once before in this very bar. He just looked alone. Different. She didn't reach out. Instead she just watched and drank.
"So Los Angeles is good?" he asked.
The laugh that bubbled forth surprised her. "Oh, don't do small talk, Karev," she teased him. "You'll hurt yourself."
He laughed too and it made her feel good about herself. They really were a good team when they were good. They fell into another silence, but this one was far more companionable. Addison chewed on her straw.
"You're my guy, you know," he said.
Addison laughed. "There are many things in this world I am, Dr. Karev. A guy is not one of them."
"Alex." He grabbed a handful of peanuts and threw them in his mouth. "You can call me Alex. And I just mean… Shepherd's Meredith's guy, you know? And Burke was Yang's."
"The only thing I see in common between those two is that they had a relationship. Which, as I recall, you were not interested in, so I'm failing to grasp your metaphor here. Don't get me wrong, you were right. But I don't think I'm your guy."
He ran his hands over his head. "No, no, it's nothing like that, it's like… boxing. When you've got money on a fight." He shook his head. "Never mind. It's just a stupid thing."
Addison smiled that closed mouth smile again. "I'm your guy, " she repeated. She kind of liked the idea. She liked the idea that she had someone rooting for her.
"You're my guy."
"Well." With that, Addison smiled and stood up. "I have a plane to catch. "
He nodded. "It was good to talk to you."
For the first time that night, Addison's teeth showed when she smiled. "Yeah, Alex. It was good to talk to you too."
"Have a safe flight."
She nodded and gathered her purse. She only got a few steps away before she turned back. "Dr. Karev."
He looked back at her and she bit her lip. "You're a great doctor. A great surgeon. I'd like to think I can take at least some of the credit."
He smiled. "You're my guy."
Addison smiled back. "I'm your guy." And with that, she turned on her heel and she was gone.